Drug Addict

WARNING: DRUGS

^(Do I even have to say that? Idk... Just to be safe)

Drugs are something bad. Very bad. I learned that from my house life, what with my Mom and Dad having a meth lab in our backyard, to Kevin always being high off of something, to that incident with A bully trying to get Weed outta Karen.

And not to mention my 'Cheesing' problem. A.K.A. The reason I hate cats with every last piece of my soul. If Only because of the position they put me in.

But at one point, I got out of control.

I was 19 maybe... Maybe 20. I don't know, I don't care.

I had been over at Cartman's house, just Me, Him and some chick he probably paid to date him. I say this since she was fucking hot. She had an amazing rack and a pretty smile. She also wasn't bad in conversation, and I'm guessing same for sex. But I wouldn't go there with Cartman's girlfriend.

Anyways, so there we were in his living room when-

"Meow" I looked over to see a fuzzy little creature walk into the room. It's whiskers gently stroking the side of the chair he was rubbing his body against. It came up to me and looked with startling green eyes.

"Cartman!" I practically yelled at him. He knew about my incident with the cats, and promised that once Mr. Kitty died he wouldn't get another one. Mr. Kitty got in an 'accident' that turned out fatal a week or two after we made that agreement.

"He's my new Cat. Eric bought him at a shelter for me!" The girl- god I don't know her name. Let's call her... Sammy. Maybe that WAS her name.. Whatever.

"Well Eric knows very well I have a problem with cats." I spoke through gritted teeth.

"Oh Ken, are you allergic?" She seemed all concerned, and sounded very familiar when she called me 'Ken'. WAIT I REMEMBER NOW. It was Tammy. Tammy Warner. I had dated her in 4th grade. Back before my Cheesing problem.

"No... I just have some bad memories," I said with a sheepish smile. That little addicting fuzz ball was making me nervous.

"That stinks." She picked up the cat when she spoke. Cartman just laughed.

"Hey I gotta... Pee" I decided I had to get out of there for a minute. I got up and walked to the upstairs bathroom.

When I got in I splashed some water on my face and breathed.

But when I turned around, I saw my old Cheesing Machine.

The thing I had strapped the kitties in to Cheese.

"Oh God no!" I picked it up to bring it and throw it at Cartman. I ran down the stairs and there was no one there, Cept that damn cat. I was so tempted.

"Be Strong Kenny." I whispered to myself and headed toward the door. Then I heard a meow. And another. I turned to see two new cats walk into the room. Then another.

"Just one time won't hurt. Right?" I looked at a kitty hopefully. He was orange and extremely soft when I picked him up. I put him in the machine and it worked its magic.

I was back in the land of the Boobies, happy as fuck and it felt amazing. But then I came back to planet earth.

I strapped up a new Cat.

And Later another.

And another.

And another.

At that point, when I came back, I just passed out on Cartman's carpet, probably looking like a mess. My hair was probably everywhere, and I felt a cold wind against my chest, which meant I had no shirt on. Beautiful.

As I drifted off into sleep, I heard a maniacal laugh.

"Morning Kitty Queen" Cartman's voice said in a sing-songy way as he shook me.

The sound that came out my mouth was kind of like a "Whaoaaaaiiiiuuuuueeeeehahaha" And it made me feel restarted and high. Two things I probably was at that moment.

"Get out of my house druggie" Cartman said and lifted me up. He threw me out of his house and I landed somewhere in the front lawn. My ass hurt like hell when it met the snow-covered grass.

I just stayed there in a little puddle of Kenny for a while. At least until I felt like a human again. But then I just wanted to Cheese again.

I decided I'd just have a cigarette instead. Something to get my mind off of those Cats and the wonders their piss could do.

I reached for my back pockets but I had no cigarettes. My pack was empty. I had nothing to smoke, which made me very unhappy in my un-high state.

I walked towards the land-o-shit (home) and decided to ask Kevin for a cigarette. He always has 'em lying around. Those, and pipes full of god knows what. All sorts of drugs. Wonderful drugs. Wait, what am I saying? Horrible drugs. I knew that they were horrible drugs. But I had been under the illusion that they would help.

Turned out that when I asked Kevin for something to smoke, he didn't consider I just wanted a regular cigarette.

I honestly don't know what it is I had, I just no I wanted more of it and my brother would supply me with it.

Between Kevin's magic cigarettes and my Cheesing, I managed to finally be happy at that point in life.

But then one day Kyle had to ruin it.

It was probably 3 or 4 weeks after the incident at Cartman's house.

"Dude, are you okay?" Kyle being the caring bastard he is just had to give a shit about my safety. Of course.

"I'm fine" I lied. The correct answer would have been "I'm high off my ass and have been for a few weeks. Help me?" but of course, that would never be said.

"Wanna hang after school? You me and Butters?" I nodded and walked away from the Jew.

When we walked to Kyle's house after school, I started smoking the stuff Kevin gave me.

"Dude, what is that?" Kyle muttered, sniffing towards my cigarette.

"I think it's whatever Kenny's smoking" Butters gestured toward my cigarette. I took a drag.

"Ugh, ¿Que Fumas?" Kyle looked at me expectantly. Like I knew Spanish.

"It means what are you smoking," Kyle pointed out like the little Jew-nerd he was.

"Oh. I dunno. Kevin gave it to me." I smiled and took out the baggy.

"Want one?" Kyle pushed the bag out of my arms and it landed in the snow.

"Fucking Kyle!" I had yelled and knelt down to pick em up.

"Kenny, look at what you're doing to yourself!" Kyle tried to reason with me.

"Drugs are Bad blah blah blah. You Sound like Mr. Mackey" I remember mocking and backing away. I backed all the way into the middle of the street. When a car whizzed by, I felt a hand push me. The car then drove right on top of me.

Why do I feel like that death was on purpose?

When I woke up in my bed the next morning, I didn't want it anymore. I was better. I didn't feel the need to Cheese or Smoke crazy-ass cigarettes. I was me again.

I blame Kyle for me being back to normal. Somehow he knew to push me. Somehow he knew I'd get a new body. Somehow he knew it'd save me.

I bet Kyle's glad he gets the blame for that one.

A/N

YeahhZzz I actually wrote that warning.