Boy Band
A/N
Here's a less unfortunate story about Kenny, In comparison to the last couple of one-shots.
Okay, so Way back in fourth grade Cartman wanted us to be a boy band (+ Wendy). We called ourselves Fingerbang. We really, really sucked. Well it actually caught on at some point.
We were probably in like, 6th grade. Maybe 7th. Well, it was before Stan and Kyle's fight. So we were all still the group of four and sometimes five. (The fifth usually being Butters)
That one day we were in some class, Spanish maybe? I don't know/care.
But Cartman passed me a note, all it said was
'Fingerbang'I was a very horny Pre-teen (I've calmed down a little bit since then though) so of course I had simply thought he wanted me to Fingerbang him. I scribbled a response and hit him in the head with the paper.
'Really? At school?'I heard him chuckle a little, and them the scratching of his pencil.
'No Poor Boy. I mean our little band'When I saw that I instantly knew what the fuck he was talking about. Then it was my turn to laugh.
'What about it?'
'Lets Re-Start it.'
'Why?'
'Talent show. Prize $$$$'
When I read his last response I decided I was on board with whatever he had been planning.
After the class he decided to tell Stan and Kyle about his idea.
"Kay guys, there's a talent show. We need to win it" Cartman looked at the two boys who were standing together. I was behind him.
"With What?" Stan looked a bit confused. Kyle face-palmed.
"You want us to re-start Fingerbang, don't you?" Kyle just crossed his arms.
"Yes Kahl, yes I do. Poor-boy's on board, and we could actually get MONEY!" Cartman knew we ALL had to Do this or else it wouldn't be a good band. Well, it'd be WORSE without us all.
"Fine, Whatever." Kyle didn't even put up a big fight, that had surprised me.
Cartman had just smiled and walked off. It seemed Like Kyle and Stan wanted to talk alone, so I walked away. I ran after Cartman.
"We gonna have Wendy re-join?" I already had a feeling that it'd be a big-
"No" He smiled.
He and she-devil were having an on/off relationship in the off position at the time. It was weird being around them together.
"Who's gonna be the fifth?" I remember how big of a deal it had been to have 5 not 4 people.
"No fifth. We're gonna go the faggy four-person band route. Apparently that's what the bitches like now." We had been walking towards Cartman's locker, and just arrived.
"Bold." I said sarcastically, and he chuckled a little bit.
"Yeah well, we only have a week and a half till this Talent Show. No time for auditions/dealing with Testabitch's shit" He was pulling things out of his locker, but until he handed my white sweatshirt and orange head-tie thing did I realize what he had.
"You made us new threads?" I hadn't had new clothes in a couple months. That had made my day.
"Yeah, they are based on the old ones. I'll get these to Jew and Pussy" Cartman slammed his locker shut, holding two plastic bags with clothing in them.
"How'd you know we'd say yes to all this?" I was fucking curious.
"I wouldn't let you guys say no" He smiled his devious smile and walked towards the classroom we had left Stan and Kyle at.
That definitely seemed like Cartman, he had everything planned out.
I had walked home that day with the outfit in my backpack, to meet Karen playing with Ruby. The two of them giggled when I walked in.
"What's so funny?" I smiled at the two little girls.
"Kenny, Ruby's got a crush!" Karen squealed and her friend pushed her.
I decided to act like them.
"OH MY GOSH WHO?" I did a little jump and used a very, very gay voice.
"Kyle!" Karen laughed. Ruby blushed and looked angry.
"Ooooooo I'm gonna tell hiiiiiim" I used a sassy gay voice that time.
"Don't! Don't! Don't!" Ruby stood up and ran right to me.
"Fine..." I rolled my eyes. The two of them always had crushes on kids in my grade. I enjoy humoring them.
"Thank you Kenny" Ruby hugged my waist and then went back to Karen. I laughed a little.
"Hey, if you want to see Kyle you should totally come see our band perform in a couple weeks!" I smiled and Ruby's face got all red and smiley.
"We can start a fan club!" Karen squealed.
At that point I walked up the stairs to my room.
As soon as I got there my cell phone rang. How I got a cell phone? I have great friends.
"Hello" I knew it'd either be Cartman or Kyle or Stan. They're like, the only ones who called me at that point in my life.
"Okay, yew gotta come to my house now. Bring your shit and sleepover. We're going to have a late night" I knew this somehow had to do with Fingerbang.
"Are the others gonna be there?"
"I'm gonna call them. Be here in 10" Then Cartman hung up on me. I looked at the phone and sighed.
At least if I was going over there, I'd get to eat.
I packed up my various shit and the Fingerbang clothes into a backpack and then ran by my Mom.
"I'm sleeping over at Cartman's" It wasn't a question, it was just a statement.
I ran out the door before hearing her response and I walked the short walk to The Cartman House.
Along the way there I ran into Tweek who was being chased by a dog, Craig who was trying to catch the dog, and Bebe who was looking hot as usual.
But she was more Cute than Hot back then.
But I kept walking along the broken pieces of sidewalk until I got to Casa De Cartman.
I didn't bother ringing the doorbell and I just walked in.
His mom was in the kitchen, baking something.
"Hi honey, Cartman's downstairs with all your other little friends."
I was shocked to hear they were already there, but I headed down the stairs anyways.
"OKAY NOW THAT WE'RE ALL HERE LET'S GET STARTED." Cartman was already in his outfit, and Stan and Kyle already looked annoyed beyond belief.
"If everyone could get into their outfits, and then we'll start singing. I wrote a newer version of the song for us to sing."
The three of us who weren't fat Asses all rolled our eyes and walked toward the bathroom, bags in hand.
"We agreed to this because...?" Stan asked.
"Money?"
"Because he'd force us to do it if we don't comply." Kyle said, using his I'm-PMSing-and-pissed-about-it voice.
"Oh Yeah."
-Night Of The Show-
"Okay bitches, are you guys ready?" We were at some local stage in some park, sitting behind the big curtain in our little group.
Karen and Ruby were wearing matching T-shirts with all our faces on them, and several kids from school were getting ready to film this 'disaster'.
"Yep." I smiled at Cartman.
"Whatever." Kyle rolled his eyes.
"Let's do this." Stan smiled like I did.
"THEN LET'S GO!" Cartman stepped into the stage and turned on his head mic.
"Hello all. This band is called Fingerbang. And we are going to blow you guys away!"
I giggled at that (Horny kid me) and then we all took our positions.
The four of us wee in a line, facing the back of the stage.
Cartman sang the first line.
"Fingerbang"He turned around and made a fake gun with his hands.
"Bang Bang"That was Kyle, who's next to him. He turned around doing the same thing with his hands
"Fingerbang bang"Me and Stan said the line together and both turned around.
Then we all sang a line.
"Bang bang bang bang"
Cartman took over.
"I'm gonna Fingerbang bang you"
All of us again.
"Into my life!"Then Cartman pushed the rest of us out of his way and walked to the center.
"Girl you wanna Fingerbang and that's all right!"
Kyle stepped up and pushed Cartman to sing a line.
"Girl you wanna Fingerbang every night"
Stan went up to Kyle and joined him.
"Every night"
Then I sang something.
"Night night"
Then the three of us.
"Every night night"
Then Cartman knocked us all over to sing by himself.
"Night night night
I'm gonna Fingerbang bang bang you"
We all joined in.
"Into my life,
I'm gonna Fingerbang bang you every night"
Cartman stepped in front of us and sang a line.
"Girl, you know I'm the one for you. "
Then Kyle sang a line, after pushing Cartman aside.
"Girl, you know I'm gonna Fingerbang you"
Stan sang a line:
"Girl, we're Fingerbang every night"
Then Me.
"And girl, IT'S GONNA BE ALRIGHT"
Cartman.
"Cuz I'm"
Kyle.
"The King"
Stan.
"Of Finger"
Me.
"Banging."
All of us.
"Fingerbanging"
We sang the rest together
"Fingerbang"
Slowly walking until we were in one line.
"Bang Bang"
Making the little guns with our hands.
"Fingerbang bang"
Spinning around making gun sounds.
"Bang bang bang bang"
Fighting over spotlights.
"I'm gonna Fingerbang bang you"
Singing the love song threateningly.
"Into my life!"
Enjoying every minute of it.
"Girl, Let's Fingerbang"Until it's almost over.
"EVERY NIGHT"
And everyone applauded.
I felt like I was on top of the world, with a whole audience of people we've known our whole lives laughing and clapping for us.
Cartman had that I-Knew-this-was-a-good-idea smirk on his face.
Kyle looked surprised.
Stan looked like he wanted to go hide in a corner because of all the attention.
I was probably grinning like an idiot.
"I think we all know who the winners are!" Ex-Principle Victoria (she quit being a principle by the time we all left South Park Elementary) said and jumped on the stage.
She was holding a huge trophy and at least $100 if not more.
"FINGERBANG!"
The four of us all hugged the trophy and Cartman grabbed the money. We ran off the stage and just laughed about it.
Everything went okay. Nothing exploded and we actually won.
The video of our performance went up on YouTube and became somewhat of a viral-video for a week or two.
We actually felt the Boy-band experience.
A/N
Sorry this took soooo looong.
I had lost inspiration for this story; and then got busy and forgot about it.
But I suddenly remembered it and got ideas so I will try to steadily update these one shots.
There's really only going to be a couple more, but I'm going to write them!