I guess you're still reading, thanks for the reviews always a great motivator.

Chapter 20

Greg had been a help, and had even managed to surprise Catherine with his questions and theories. With practice and the right teacher he showed the potential of becoming a great CSI. The strawberry blonde guessed he had found the right teacher in Sara, because the brunette's way of working was beginning to show in Greg.

Catherine hadn't been thrilled when Grissom had assigned Greg to her case. That was the night shift supervisor's not so subtle way of telling Catherine that it was her turn teaching the DNA tech. Grissom knew that if he came out and said it, he would have more trouble resisting the strawberry blonde's anger.

When he forced her into something he knew she didn't particularly like, Gil usually did so by sending a text message. Then avoided Catherine until he was sure he wouldn't get his head bit off. He knew it was the coward ways out, but he had never been one for confrontations. Whereas he knew Catherine sometimes thrived on discussions and arguments.

It wasn't that Catherine hated teaching. Once she got into it she rather enjoyed her time with Greg. Catherine didn't know why she disliked teaching so much. It wasn't something that she wanted to dwell on and guessed it just wasn't her thing. She knew that giving your time and expertise to those CSIs with less experience was a part of the job, and Catherine was okay with that. But it didn't mean that she had to like it.

Catherine and everybody else in the lab, had heard about Ecklie wanting to suspend Sara's time off, and demand the brunette came back to work. So what she didn't understand was, why Gil was in such a hurry to have someone else take over on Greg's training. It wasn't that the young man could devote all his time as a CSI, since Grissom hadn't been able to find a replacement for the DNA lab.

She wasn't even sure if Gil thought of it as important enough to actually spend time on finding someone with the know-how and personality to fit in with the nightshift. Greg had been showing some real potential, and Catherine thought she might help Grissom finding the lab rat's replacement. There was no way Ecklie would find someone she would enjoy working with, but the lab director would be forced to approve their suggestion, if the credentials were in order, even if he didn't like the person.

As it turned out, thoughts of Emily and Sara had proved to be more distracting than Catherine had anticipated. That in turn made the night seem to drag by.

It had been Catherine's luck that no new more pressing case had come in. With her lack of concentration she would never had been able to focus. Working with Greg though had been a help in keeping her attention on the case, with all the questions he asked.

The distracting thoughts of, what Catherine had convince herself was of Emily, wasn't enough to keep her from doing her job properly. But it did make it slow work to go through the various processes.

Even though Catherine was good at concealing her inner turmoil, after spending most of the night working in close contact with her, Greg couldn't help but notice that Catherine was more lost in thought than normal.

As Greg had picked up on Catherine's state of mind, he had made a game of seeing how long it would take Catherine to answer his questions.

By the time that shift was over, Catherine felt like she had been working a double or maybe even a triple. Not in the sense that she was asleep on her feet, but as in the shift had taken longer than it usual felt like. In fact, Catherine actually left the lab earlier than was normal for any of the night shift CSIs. Giving her time to have breakfast with Lindsey before taking the girl to school. It was a rare and special treat to get to spend the morning with her daughter.

Lindsey wasn't the best at getting up in the mornings, especially on schooldays. But after the girl was awake and dressed she was bubbling and high spirited. Just the thing to make any kind of day better for Catherine. It didn't matter how tired she was, a dose of Lindsey in the mornings with the happy chatter the girl usually tried to engage Catherine in, had a rejuvenating effect.

Lindsey had been in a much better mood than the CSI had come to expect, and Catherine got to hear everything that was going on in the young girl's life. The topic of Sara, especially the brunette's mystical tattoos seemed to have caught Lindsey's interest. The girl also talked about the one she had gotten to see, but it was the fact that Emily knew of more, that Sara didn't want to show the Willows', that had captured to young girl's main interest. Not to say that it hadn't crossed Catherine's mind, she had just chosen not to mention her curiosity to anybody, especially her daughter.

Before Catherine had left for work last night, Lindsey had suggested they spend time with Emily and Sara. The way Lindsey had been talking about the younger girl, left no doubt that Lindsey was hoping Emily would tell her something about the hidden tattoos.

That Lindsey wanted to see Emily again spoke well for Catherine keeping her promise to the younger girl. Not that the CSI had planned on going back on a promise to a child, especially Emily now that the girl had lost her mother.

Spending time with Lindsey had been just what Catherine needed to get her mind off of Sara and Emily. And with that came her ability to focus on the now again. Giving her the opportunity to have uninterrupted time with Lindsey. Time that had been rare for a long time.

It wasn't usual that Catherine took Lindsey out for breakfast on a weekday. Going out to eat in the morning usually meant that Lindsey ended up persuading Catherine to buy some sugary kind of food. That always left Lindsey in a sugar rush. It wasn't so bad on the weekends when they could spend some of the excess energy and Catherine could make sure Lindsey got something to counter the worst of the sugar crash. But on weekdays Lindsey would have to sit still and pay attention in class with no possibility of burning off the extra energy. Resulting in a poor performance and an inability to sit still for more than 10 minutes at a time. Not something Catherine wanted to subject either Lindsey or her teachers to. That meant that she would either have to give up on going out to eat or she would have to be strong enough to say no. Not one of Catherine's strong suits when it came to her daughter. Maybe this would be the day where she could prove past experiences wrong. That was at least what she was hoping for.

Catherine would have to admit that her intention of not feeding Lindsey any sugar hadn't gone entirely like planned. Lindsey had spent years perfecting her pleading eyes and pout, and in the last couple of years she had gotten increasingly better at sweet talking. Not only her mom but also her aunt Nancy.

For once it didn't take long to reach a compromise that didn't end in one or both of them angry. Catherine was hoping this wold prove to be a regular thing, that they could get along. The way it had been before Eddie's death.

Not only had Lindsey refrained from making a big deal about the choice of food, but she had also immediately after they ordered started chatting about friends and school. They had both been reluctant to leave the diner, and Lindsey had been cutting it close in regards to getting to school on time, again. Catherine had readily agreed to spending the afternoon and evening with her daughter.

Being with her daughter had kept Catherine's thoughts from straying to Sara. The minute she had dropped Lindsey off at school, there was nothing left to distract her.

Catherine didn't remember driving to Sara's apartment. She had been in such a hurry to reach the brunette, but now that she was there Catherine couldn't seem to find the motor skills to walk up to the door.

She really had to snap out of it. This was the second time in very little time that she wasn't sure how she got from one place to another. She wouldn't be any help to Sara if she was this distracted. The trouble was that she had no idea how to focus on any one thing at the moment. None of that mattered, because Sara had sounded like she needed help. And Catherine wanted to help make everything better. She just wasn't sure how or what she could do.

Sara hadn't gotten all that much sleep. She was used to Emily usual sleep pattern. The girl had always moved a lot in sleep. But it had been worse than ever. Emily had been sleeping fitfully all night. That hadn't been what had kept the brunette awake as much as the kicking and hitting that Emily's moving had resulted in. And when she had tried to move away from the young blonde Emily had become visible more upset. She wasn't sure how, but thankful that she had managed to keep the girl from waking. But it had cost Sara the opportunity of more than a few short moments of sleep.

The night had only become more complicated by the fact that Sara couldn't shut her mind off. She was petrified of making mistakes with Emily.

Sara had hoped that even the disturbed sleep Emily had gotten would have helped the girl. The brunette knew that a nights sleep didn't solve everything. Buy she also knew that sleep did help when you were trying to process what had happened around you. Not that it was anything she had ever mastered. Sleep had always been rare and much of her life Sara hadn't gotten nearly enough sleep. With time her body had adjusted and she had convinced herself that she just needed less sleep than everyone else. Though there were times where she crashes and slept for more than 12 hours at a time.

She had actually been surprised when Emily hadn't woken up, even when Sara was sure the girl had nightmares. She had never been able to sleep after a nightmare herself or even through one. The main reason for her lack of sleep, but Sara was glad that that hadn't happened with Emily. At least not that night.

Knowing better didn't keep Sara from hoping. But she knew from experiences that just because she wanted something to happen it rarely if ever meant that it actually did. In fact it very rarely did.

In the morning Emily still refused to talk or let Sara out of sight, or let alone let go of the brunette's hand. Sara hated that everything always ended up so screwed up. All her life she had tried to be normal, to fit in. There had been a few times in her life that she had thought she had found it. But each time something had happened, and she had been alone once more. Every way she could possible ruin Emily's life had flashed through her mind during the night. The possibilities only getting worse as the night wore on. By the time Emily was waking up, Sara had started to fear she would wreck the young girl's life. Like her parents had screwed her up.

It didn't help when Emily wouldn't let her mama out of sight. The only positive thing was that the blonde actually ate a little. It wasn't much, a bite here and there, but it was a start. A good beginning in getting Sara to believe she wouldn't be a terrible parent. The thought that Catherine would come by, and in Sara's mind fix things with her mere presence, was another calming factor.