Chapter 24
The guys might have been right about Sara not asking any of the other CSIs for help, or admitting to them that she was having trouble doing her job. But Sara did admit it to Carolyn.
Carolyn was one of the few people that Sara believed in of the rare person in Sara's life that had never let her down, or given her reason to doubt. Sara rarely trusted, and it was most of the times something she had to decide. Trust was seldom an unconsciously act for Sara.
Carolyn had been in regularly contact with Sara, since Sara had left foster care to go to college. Since Emily had come to Las Vegas, Carolyn had talked almost daily with both Sara and Emily.
Even before Sara had told Carolyn the severity of the problems, Carolyn knew there was something wrong. While Emily had sounded happier, Sara had withdrawn and Carolyn had had trouble getting Sara engaged in a real conversation.
When Sara had finally admitted that something was wrong and that she needed help, Carolyn would have liked to drop everything and go to Vegas to help.
The trouble was that only a month earlier Carolyn had agreed to take in a foster child. She had retired some years ago, and hadn't taken any kids in since then. Her last child had left for college not long after. Carolyn didn't have the same energy as when she had first started as a foster parent. It had been lonely and quiet in the house with no children living there. The first year alone had been the hardest, it helped that she stayed in contact with most of her children after they had left. Most of the children that had come to her, had come after being shuffled around the system and as a last resort came to her. Only a few hadn't stayed until adulthood. Carolyn had had a reputation for being able to help even the most aggressive and lost children to lead successful lives.
To some of those adults she was still family and was treated as such. She had been given the honor of being a grandmother, and she loved the holidays and vacation time she was allowed to spend with her "children" and their families.
After retiring, Carolyn hadn't planned taking on another child. She had been contacted after a young girl had been through more foster families and temporary homes than she was years. DCSF couldn't find any foster family willing to take the girl in, and the last option if Carolyn said no was a guarded homes for older teens.
Carolyn had at first said no to the request, that had changed when the social worker told Sasha's story. It reminded Carolyn of Sara, and Carolyn couldn't turn the girl down.
Having taken Sasha in, meant Carolyn couldn't rush to Vegas when Sara asked for help. She always tried to go to her children whenever they might need help. Though she had to admit that that hadn't been possible all that often before she retired.
When Carolyn couldn't go to Vegas she would just have to talk to Sara more often, to help the closed off woman work through the problem.
Sara knew before she even asked for help that Carolyn couldn't come to Vegas, and Emily and her couldn't go to San Francisco.
But that wasn't why Sara had asked Carolyn for help. Sara knew the older woman could help get things in perspective and make the right decision for not only Emily but also her self.
Sara was at a loss as to what she should do. She loved her job, but it wasn't working now that Emily was living with her. And she hadn't enjoyed coming to work in a long time. Work had become something she had to do.
Then there was the job offers Sara received regularly. She could take one of them, but that would mean they would have to move. And Emily had settled in and was making friends. So Sara didn't feel she could just move to another city and force Emily to have to start over again.
As a start Sara had talked to Carolyn about trying to change her work hours to day time. That would help with Emily's problem of having to spend the night with Nancy. It wasn't that Emily didn't like Nancy, but for the girl to feel safe during the night Emily needed to know Sara was close by. With Sara's hectic work hours as of late that only gave Emily one good nights sleep a week.
After the last few months with a lack of sleep for both of them, it had taken it's toll, and they were both tired most of the time. They had for the last month spend the day after Sara's night off trying to catch up on their sleep.
That was what had gotten Sara to admit she needed help. Now she had admitted that Grissom and work wasn't likely to change. Sara had several times tried to talk to Grissom, to get him to understand the toll work was taking on her and Emily. He had told her some obscure reference before he hurried from the room if he stayed long enough to hear Sara out or even say anything.
Sara knew it wouldn't help to go higher up, since Ecklie had wanted to get rid of Sara for a long time.
With Ecklie as Lab Director, it also meant that moving to dayshift was out of the question. Even though she didn't particularly like the dayshifts CSI's Sara had asked their supervisor of the possibility of changing shifts. He had wanted to think about it, and it took almost a month before Sara got any answer, and that was in the form of a letter.
Sara was disappointed, but not really surprised. But it did limit her choices now that she had narrowed it down to wanting to stay in Las Vegas, with the help of Carolyn. There weren't more than one CSI lab in town, and with the way things were going this was no longer a possibility.
With the discovery that she wouldn't be able to work as a CSI if she wanted to stay in Las Vegas, came a new low for Sara.
It wasn't that she never worked with anything else. Sara had had several different jobs during her time in college. She had liked it the most when she had worked as a mechanic as a part time job during college and 6 months after while she was looking for work.
Sara had no doubt she could find work as a mechanic. But Sara loved being a CSI. Being able to give answers she had never gotten. But not only that, she got to solve different mysteries on a regular basic.
rrrr
Spending time with Emily, just the two of them, without having to worry about getting to work, was a help to both Sara and Emily.
Getting to sleep at home, knowing that her mama was in the next room, meant Emily got three nights of uninterrupted sleep. Combining that with days together, just the two of them, made for a well rested and happy Emily.
The few days with Emily had helped Sara make up her mind. Sara now knew for sure that she wanted a day job, and one with more regular hours, basically she wanted a normal job. Not anything she had ever strived to get, but as a parent she wanted what was best for Emily. To make matters worse was that she had also come to the conclusion that she wanted to stay in Vegas. With Cam and now Nancy she had friends and a support system, something Sara didn't have anywhere else. Besides Emily liked both women. That had been surprising in itself, since Emily usually didn't take to strangers very well.
Sara had finally come to a decision, she believed both of them would be happy with. In Sara's mind coming to the decision had been the hard part, finding work she was sure would be easier.
If nothing else she could always find something temporary. In the last two years she had received several job offers from crime labs, a few universities and even the FBI.
The offers had started after she had started publishing articles and giving lectures at a few criminalistics seminars. She had never considered accepting any of the offers, but had kept in touch with most of the people behind them as well as colleagues she had meet during her career.
Sara had liked to talk to other people in her chosen profession. It was always nice to have someone to exchange ideas with.
All of the job offers had come from other states, so Sara didn't give them much thought at first. Besides her new work criteria didn't exactly fit working as a CSI. Especially because she wanted to stay in Vegas.
The first thing Sara was planning on doing was asking a few of her contacts if they knew of openings in or near Vegas.
There was little over a month left of the summer before Emily started 1st grade. And Sara was planning to find a new job before that. Sara knew it wouldn't be conductive for Emily to be going to school and having to learn if the girl didn't get enough sleep each night. Having to spend the nights at Nancy's made Emily anxious and she was often awoken by nightmares.
Sara wanted to provide Emily with the best conditions to be able to learn, and that wasn't possible if Sara stayed at the crimelab.
rrrrr
Coming to work Sunday night Sara felt better about her decision to resign. It made her steps lighter. Enough so that Nick and Warrick noticed.
"You look good girl." Warrick commented as Sara came into the breakroom to get a cup of coffee before cases were handed out.
"Yeah Sar, looks like these days did you good."
Nick and Warrick started to think that all Sara might have needed was time off to catch up with everything that had happened.
Sara didn't have time to answer, before Grissom came in with assignments breaking up the friendly chatter.
Grissom's presence immediately affected Sara's mood. Before he entered she had been smiling, but as soon as Grissom's voice was heard in the room, that smile disappeared, and if you looked closely you would have seen her eyes dull.
Neither of the boys noticed, they were both too busy looking at each other, happy that their plan had worked. And as they saw it, Sara's problem had been a lack of down time. They both believed they had delivered and all would be back to normal now that Sara had apparently gotten the sleep she had needed. They had come to believe, by their experiences with Sara, that all the brunette needed when down was a couple of days to recharge and sleep. Even with what Catherine had told them, they still found it hard to believe that Grissom would be unprofessional against Sara.
The night had been decent, Sara had gotten to take Greg along to the scene, which had helped on the long travel time to a scene at the farthest end of their district. If for nothing else, Greg was always good entertainment during long car rides.
It was a standard armed robbery, a perfectly fine teaching turned out to be a long night, spent mostly in the car.
rrrr
Getting back late from a crime scene, had left Sara with only a few hours of sleep before she had to pick Emily up from day camp.
Sara had hoped to get to talk to Cam before picking up Emily. But by the time Sara had gotten home and showered, there was only time for three hours of sleep. That was why Emily was the first inside Cam's office.
"Hey Peanut, whatcha doing here? I didn't think I'll get to see you already."
Cam had only managed to stand up before Emily ran into her, giving Cam a tight hug.
"Mama said you'll have dinner with us."
"She did!" Cam smiled at Sara, as the CSI came into her office.
"Uhuu." Was the only answer Cam got from Emily.
"Can I go draw?" Emily loved drawing whenever she was at the garage.
"Sure Em, we'll be right outside. I have to talk to Cam, before we can ask her to join us for dinner."
Part of Emily's fondness for drawing when with Cam was because she could usually charm Cam into helping.
Sara knew this, and was trying to prevent Emily from pouting when Cam joined her outside the office.
"I already asked her Mama."
Cam couldn't keep from laughing at Emily's statement. Not even the stern look from Sara could stop her laughter, but the way Sara said her name did.
"Hey Peanut, if you behave while I talk to your Mama, you can help me choose my next tat."
That got Cam Emily's full attention. "I'll be good."
Emily had seen most of Cam's tattoos, and the girl was fascinated with the subject. So getting a chance to be a part of Cam's next tattoo, Emily would do anything.
Once outside the door, Sara couldn't stop her curiosity. "I didn't know you wanted another tat already."
One look said it all.
"Yeah right, stupid me, it's you, you're always looking for the next tat."
"Right, you know me, if I'm not changing my hair color, I'm getting new decorations. Now what do I owe the pleasure of sharing my dinner with two lovely ladies?"
When Sara didn't say anything, Cam got nervous.
"Did I forget to pick up Peanut? I don't have her in my calendar for today but for tomorrow and Wednesday."
"You didn't forget, I wanted to ask a favor. I don't know how to ask, I don't want to take advantage of our friendship. You've already helped so much with Em."
"No worry Sar, you're done more for me when I was in a bind, so anything you need, just ask."
That didn't make it easier for Sara, she would do just about anything for her friends, but she never expected people to help her. It was hard getting used to having real friends. But Sara was discovering that Cam was a real friend.
"I've decided to hand in my resignation this week. I was hoping you let me pick up some work here. Just till I'll get something permanent."
Sara was quick to add the last part. She didn't want to put her friend out, if there weren't enough work already.
"Sure, you can do that, but I can't promise what I'll have for you. When do you need the work?"
"I'm planning on giving Grissom my two weeks notice during Thursday's shift. So from Friday two weeks."
"Why wait till Thursday?"
Cam could understand Sara wanting to get out of that job, but Cam couldn't understand why Sara was waiting when the decision was already made.
"I have my requalifying for my firearm Thursday afternoon. That's why you're having Em Tuesday and Wednesday, I'm going to the range for practice."
Weapons wasn't Sara's favorite, but after she had chosen to become a CSI she had been serious about her skills with a gun. Sara didn't want to chance not getting requalified if she handed in her resignation before the test. It didn't matter if she was continuing to be a CSI or not. Sara didn't like to let her skills deteriorate.
"Why two days? I know you go to the range regularly during the year, and you've haven't had trouble requalifying in the time I've known you."
That got a slight blush out of Sara.
Cam knew Sara was a good shot, she had seen it a couple of times when she had accompanied the CSI to the range.
"Just wanted to make sure I'm ready this time. I have a bet with Nick, about who get's the best score. We planned to take the requalifying together. Looser pays for dinner."
Cam smiled at the sheepish looking Sara.
"You could've just said that, I'm all for winning a free dinner."
Cam engulfed her friend in a hug. "I'll find you some work to keep you afloat till you find something you love. It's no trouble Sar, you and Peanut are family." The last was said softly as Cam gave another squeeze before going back into her office to keep Emily company.
rrrr
"Hey Peanut, what's your thought about my new tat?"
Cam knew Sara needed some time, and the best way to give her that was to make sure Emily didn't think about her mama. And her new tattoo was the perfect thing to keep Emily's focus on her.
"Uh, a princess."
That earned Emily a slight chuckle.
"You think my hair looks like I'm a princess kinda girl."
That got Cam a hard stare, as Emily looked closely at the woman. Cam could practically hear the wheels turning in the young girl's head.
Emily had never been interested in the real girly things, but she had started liking fairytales with dragons and princesses. One of Emily's new friends liked princesses and after Cam drew a dragon on her cast, Emily had been fascinated with dragons.
"No, but you already got a dragon."
Cam didn't know what to say to that kind of reasoning, but there was no way she would get a princess tattoo. She might have gone out with her share of princesses in her time.