A/N: Yeah, the usual, not mine, just playing, wishing I had been lucky enough to dream like that...

Chapter 5

I walked back into the house and found that my parents had left, which didn't make sense, or they were really good at hiding. I voted for hiding. I could just picture them, Mom in particular, lying in wait, ready to pop out at any moment.

I heard movement upstairs, so I headed up and knocked lightly on the door where I knew Mom had put Bella.

"Come in," she called out softly and I opened the door to see Bella looking over her shoulder to see who it was. "Oh, Edward, hi, I thought you were your mother."

I nodded, shoving my hands into my pants pockets, unsure of what to say now that it was just her and I.

"Did you sleep well?" I asked, ever the polite boy.

Bella shrugged. "Not really, I mostly just tossed and turned." She sank down on the edge of the bed and motioned for me to sit down as well. I walked further into the room and sat down next to her, but there was enough space between us that I didn't think I would make her feel uncomfortable. I leaned forward, my gaze focused on my hands and waited to see if she would say anything.

"I'm sorry," she said softly. My head shot up and I stared at her, wondering why she was apologizing when I was the one in the wrong.

"I should be the one saying that to you," I offered. Bella shook her head and laid a hand on my arm.

"I shouldn't have gotten myself in that situation. I knew better and still I did it. You didn't do it alone and I do remember enough about that night to know that it wasn't rape," she explained.

"But I took advantage of you, I forgot a condom," I fumbled with my words.

Bella bit her bottom lip and nodded. "Yeah, I'm not letting you off the hook, but I am owning up to my share in this."

I nodded, oddly feeling better that she still blamed me.

"So, how are we going to do this?" Bella asked. I looked up from my hands to her and found her looking everywhere but at me. "I mean, we have some time and all, it's not like we'll have this baby tomorrow or anything."

"What do you want me to do Bella? Just tell me and I'll do it," I said quickly. "It's the least I can do."

Bella's head whipped around to look at me and the calm expression that had been on her face was now gone and replaced with an angry one. Anger all focused on me.

"I am not a burden and I refuse to let you make me feel that way!" She said forcefully.

I leaned back, wondering what I had said that made her feel that way. "Wait, I didn't, I mean-," I stuttered, only to stop when she stood up and started moving around the room again. She paced around the room, her fury following her like a cloud of dust.

"I am perfectly capable to doing this on my own Edward Cullen and don't you forget that!" She told me, spinning in her pacing to point at me. She resumed pacing and I just watched, quickly understanding that it would be better for me to simply be seen and not heard. "I don't need someone to treat me like a poor sad little girl who got knocked up, got me? I don't need pity! I don't need to be made to feel inferior because I got pregnant while I was 20! I can raise this baby without you and everyone else like you and don't you forget it!"

Her rage ended as quickly as it started and she sank onto the floor, leaning against the dresser. She buried her face in her drawn knees and wrapped her arms around them, creating a little ball of Bella.

"Bella," I started. She didn't say anything and I moved from the bed to sit on the floor next to her. Once I was closer, I could tell she was crying again. I hoped that the crying part would pass soon, but then I remembered that after this week, the next time I would see Bella would be only a couple of months before the baby was due. I reached out, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and surprisingly, she turned and buried her face in my side. The warmth of her tears penetrated my t-shirt and I turned slightly toward her, so I could hold her easier. She moved with me until her face was resting on my chest. Her hands gripped the cotton of my shirt and I patted her back as she cried. It was less awkward this time, I guessed I was getting used to it.

Bella didn't say anything and I didn't push. We sat there in silence, her sobs easing over time into snuffling, then nothing. I looked down to see her eyes were closed and it looked like she had finally fell asleep.

"Are you two okay?" Mom's gentle voice came from the doorway. I looked over to find her standing there, watching Bella and I.

"Yeah," I answered. The movement of my chest when I spoke was enough to wake Bella and she quickly sat up, looking around in confusion. When she saw me, she moved backwards quickly, and I had to reach out and grab her arm to keep her from falling and hitting her head on the bed frame.

"What? Huh?" Bella asked and I released her, quickly standing up, then leaning down to help her rise as well. She took my hand, allowing me to help her, then Mom swooped in and all but pushed me out of the way.

"Why don't you go to bed Edward?" Mom suggested, not looking at me, but completely focused on Bella.

"Uhm, yeah, okay," I said. I left the guest room, pulling the door shut behind me and walked across the hall to my own room. Everything was the same as when I had at the holidays and yet, nothing was the same. It never would be, thanks to my inability to keep my dick in my pants. The girl of my dreams was across the hall, carrying my baby but it was not how I had pictured it when I was younger. I pictured us married, older when we had kids, sleeping in the same bedroom at the very least and now, reality was nothing like what I thought.

I looked at the clock and found a few hours had passed while I was holding Bella. The sun had set and night had fallen. I hadn't noticed the darkening of the room, I had been focused on only Bella. I would still be focused on her, if Mom hadn't pushed me out of the room. I couldn't understand why she kept doing that. Every time I got near Bella for any length of time, Mom would suddenly show up and pull her away from me. It was frustrating and when I heard Mom leaving Bella's room, I decided I needed to get some answers.

"Mom?" I called out, making her jump in surprise.

"Edward, you scared me," she said softly, turning to look at me with a smile.

"Sorry, can we talk?" I asked and she nodded.

"Sure, how about downstairs, so Bella can rest?" She suggested. I followed her downstairs and into the family room. She sat down on one of the couches and patted the space next to her. I took the offer, and once I was seated, Mom reached out and grabbed one of my hands in hers.

"So?" She prompted.

"Why do you keep pulling Bella away from me?" I blurted out. I never had a problem talking to my mother. She had always been my sounding board and that hadn't changed.

"Edward, even if you two had a normal relationship, this would still be very difficult for Bella. Sometimes, a woman needs to talk to another woman, and since her mother isn't around," she trailed off.

"So, I can't help her because I don't have-have," I fumbled.

Mom sighed and shook her head. "No, you can help her, but really, I think right now, you are just adding more confusion to everything. She needs to relax, the best she can and whether you mean to or not, you add stress to this situation. Maybe it's a good thing that you two will be apart for the next couple of months. It'll give you both a chance to adjust without the added weight of feeling like you need to placate the other one."

"Mom, Bella is not placating me," I told her.

Mom's head tilted to the side and her lips pursed together. "I wouldn't be too sure of that. She seems like she's very independent and this has to have thrown her for a loop. Then add in you and yeah, she might be placating you just a little bit sweetie."

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "I just want to help her, to do what I can to make it better, easier," I tried to explain.

"I know that, and Bella knows that as well, she just needs the time to adjust to that," Mom explained. "Go back to school and finish the semester, but talk to her, as much as she'll let you. Remind her that you are involved, but you aren't trying to overwhelm her. Let her call the shots, at least for a little while. She's going through a really tough time emotionally and physically, with all the changes that come with pregnancy. Just be you and it'll work out, I promise."

I nodded, knowing Mom's advice was probably the best course of action. We parted and I headed to bed, suddenly tired. I fell into a deep sleep and when I woke in the morning, I was rested and ready to be there for Bella, however she wanted me to be.

The next morning, I woke and once we had breakfast and said goodbye to my parents, we headed back to U Dub. We were quiet on the trip back, Bella was obviously lost in her thoughts, allowing me time with mine. Once we reached her dorm, I knew that I was going to give her all the space she wanted. I would let her know that I would be available, whenever and where ever she wanted, but it was up to her to decide how this was going to go, at least for now.

"Thanks," she said quietly, sliding out from the Jeep's seat. She turned and looked back at me, silently staring, then shaking her head.

"No problem," I told her and then she was gone.

I didn't see much of her before I left, spending the majority of my time with Emmett. I decided to write her a note before I left and had Rose promise to give it to her once I headed back to Dartmouth. Em and I parted at the airport, more solemn than when I had arrived, but that was understandable. Our worlds had changed over the course of a week and it would take time to adjust, for everyone.

Once I was back on campus, I hunted down Tanya and explained what had happened over Spring Break. She was upset and wanted nothing to do with me. I couldn't blame her, I wouldn't want to have anything to do with me if our positions had been reversed.

A couple of weeks went by and I got caught up in classes. The semester was coming to a close and projects and papers were due, filling up the free time that I had spent with Tanya. I thought about Bella and Emmett fed me little bits of information via email when he could, but he was busy with the end of his semester as well.

I was surprised when my phone rang late one night, pulling me out of the stupor I had fallen into while trying to write a paper for my English class. I blindly answered it, my voice scratchy and deep from a lack of use.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Ed-Edward? Is that you? It's Bella," she said softly. "I was hoping we could talk."