Okay Hi guys I'm actually submitting this on Wednesday into my documents just so it's ready to upload, I hope you don't hate me too much...but trust me I'm going to fix it :) 33333

"I can explain."

"What? How you're making yourself throw up? You know Lily I'm smarter than you think, I looked up muggle illnesses you want to know what I think?" tears filled my eyes and I pressed my lips together not trusting my voice.

"I think you're anorexic with bulimic tendencies." I looked down as a tear slid onto my hand.

"What are you waiting for? Leave, run. I understand why would you want me? I'm damaged." I said quietly as I stood. He stood his ground and sighed looking down.

"Lily you have to let me inside." I looked up at him and shrugged not knowing if I could. "Lily I can't have a relationship with no trust, I can't do it." He said as he went to turn away.

"My parents abused me okay? It's not exactly easy for me to let people inside. I just can't okay? You happy? I'm damaged, broken! I'm no good just…just leave." I cried and immediately regretted it as he looked at me before he continued walking.

"Whatever Lily you obviously don't want my help. See you around." He looked defeated, upset and slightly….well broken. I slid down the wall before going up to my room and pulling my razor from my trunk. I slid it across my ankles, wrists, stomach everywhere I could and smiled as blood ran from all areas of my body.

I watched the blood for a while before going to the bathroom once again and cleaning up the cuts before slipping on pyjamas and climbed into bed realizing I had no tears to cry I felt numb.

I didn't get out of bed the next few days when Nicole and Beatrice visited my room I just told them James and I had broken up and I didn't feel well. I didn't tell them why and apparently he didn't either, they delivered my homework as I just wallowed in self-pity.

"Hey Lily time to get up!" Nicole called coming into my room and I looked up shaking my head. "Come on we're going to Hogsmead today." I shook my head and curled up in a ball as Nicole dragged my blanket away. "Come on." I groaned and got up and she laid out my uniform for me. I kicked her out as I pulled off my pyjamas and pulled on my knee socks, skirt, white button up shirt, sweater and cloak before I pulled my hair back into a ponytail and met Nicole.

She smiled at me before leading me downstairs and together her Beatrice and I went to Hogsmead.

"So how are you Nicole?" I asked and she smiled at me.

"I've been good. I have to tell you something though…" I looked at her and nodded. "I'm going out with James now." I looked at her and turned on my heel.

"How could you?" Beatrice followed me and I sank down to my floor of my room Beatrice sank beside me and hugged me. We sat like that for a few hours talking mostly about everything but James. She just got me through it and for the first time in a long time I didn't use a blade to soothe my pain.

I only wished James had accepted me but now I had more the reason to starve myself if nobody was going to love me, I could at least love myself. James was just an arrogant prick anyway. He never cared I was only fooling myself. Who could ever love me?

So there you go...Don't start a mob outside my door okay? And if you have to run to my boyfriend's house...he's the one who told me to take the story in this direction (right Auzzie bear? :P ) So ya...until next time. Also the song is Fix A heart-Demi Lovato 333

-Little Miss Fake it