Chapter 31

A few nights later, Catherine still hadn't called Sara. Even though Nancy had reminded her several times a day.

Starting her shift that night with a trip to the morgue. Dr. Robbins had left a message that he had found something in one of her open cases.

On the way in to the morgue Catherine saw Sara coming out of Dr. Robbins office. Freezing momentarily, Catherine didn't have the chance to call out to Sara, before the brunette had disappeared out of the building. Not that she would have known what to say.

Continuing into the morgue, Catherine tried to sound casual. "Was that Sidle I just saw?"

Dr. Robbins didn't buy Catherine's casualness, but he decided not to ask about it.

"She was here on business."

Dismissing anything further on the subject of Sara with his answer for the brunette's visit. He like everybody else had witnessed Catherine's treatment of Sara. He didn't want to give the CSI anything new to fuel the anger toward his friend.

Dr. Robbins dismissal only had Catherine more curious as to why the brunette would talk business with an ME. She had heard from the talk in the lab that Sara taught at the University. She couldn't see the connection. Not knowing was bugging her.

rrrr

Catherine had needed several days to talk herself into making the call to Sara. It wasn't easy for Catherine to admit that she was wrong, and even less for her to ask to be allowed back in Sara's life.

She had been about to call Sara a couple of times that day already, leaving it off just before pressing dial. Catherine thought she had done that one more time, when she heard Sara's voice. She had pressed dial instead of cancel. Catherine didn't know what to say and debated with herself to hang up.

Sara had been in the middle of work and hadn't bothered to check to see who was calling, just picking up the phone and answered.

"Sidle."

Sara had answered the phone that way since she had started her professional career, and hadn't lost the habit even though it wasn't necessary any longer. She didn't notice anymore.

When she didn't hear anything, Sara looked at the display to see if she had been hung up on. To her surprise it was Catherine's name on the display, and the call was still open.

"Catherine?"

Catherine had frozen, when she had heard Sara's voice, and couldn't seem to get the words out to answer Sara.

Still not getting an answer, Sara was starting to get nervous. All the horrible things that could have happened started running through her mind.

"Cat, are you there? Did something happen to Lindsey?"

The sound of panic Catherine could hear creeping into Sara's voice, pulled her out of her frozen state.

"No, Lindsey's okay. I'm sorry I called you."

Feeling horrible for having scared Sara, Catherine was about to hang up.

"Wait Catherine, don't hang up. Why did you call?"

Hearing that Lindsey wasn't hurt, Sara was curious why Catherine was calling her. She wanted to keep Catherine talking, but didn't know what to say to accomplice that.

"Sorry." Catherine found it hard to apologize, so she just blurted out the word sorry and didn't follow up with any explanation.

"You got to explain that, Cat. Sorry doesn't mean much if you don't know the context."

Sara didn't know if it was because Catherine was sorry or she wanted an apology from her. Sara was leaning to the latter, but she wasn't sure what Catherine wanted an apology for.

When Catherine still didn't say anymore. Sara convinced herself that it was an apology the other woman was waiting for. The trouble was that she didn't know what it was Catherine wanted her to apologize for.

"I'm sorry Catherine, but I don't know what it is I've done wrong."

Catherine wanted to hit herself over the head, once more she had made Sara feel she was the one doing something wrong.

"No, Sara, you didn't do anything wrong. It's me that want and need to apologize."

Sara hadn't heard Catherine apologize to anyone other than Lindsey. She hadn't expected to ever hear Catherine say sorry to her, but she didn't think the other woman had anything to apologize for.

"Catherine, you don't have to apologize."

"You may not think so, but I do want to apologize, and I would like to explain. Are you willing to meet and let me explain in person?"

Catherine was hoping Sara would agree to meet with her. She would like to be able to show that her apology wasn't just words, but that she meant it. She had always found it easier to talk face to face rather than on the phone.

Sara was surprised at the suggestion of meeting, but she would have agreed to almost any suggestion Catherine made.

They agreed to meet for coffee the next day after Sara's work day and before Catherine's started.

rrrr

Sara had been distracted after the call from Catherine. She hadn't been able to concentrate, and hadn't gotten any work done the rest of the day. She was distracted to the point where Emily noticed. Emily thought Sara's distraction was caused by sadness. So Emily tried to be especially nice to her mama, hoping to make her mama happy.

The next day at work wasn't much better for Sara. Luckily she didn't have to teach a class that day.

Catherine hadn't done much better concentrating at work. She had been caught lost in thought more than once. Trying to find the right words to explain to Sara, and hopefully save a friendship. After work Catherine hadn't been able to sleep because of nervousness, and had spent the day cleaning her house. When she ran out of rooms and things to clean, Catherine showed up at the diner early.

Trying to wait patiently for Sara, Catherine drank coffee and kept folding and refolding napkins. By the time Sara arrived, Catherine had lost count of how many cups of coffee she had had, and there was pieces of napkins on the table.

The coffee hadn't helped Catherine, only resulted in her having trouble sitting still. Without being able to get up and walk around, Catherine nervously shifted around and tapped her feet.

That was how Sara saw Catherine, when she walked into the diner. The clear signs of Catherine's nervousness, calmed Sara's nerves.

"Hi Catherine, sorry I'm late, I got a call I had to take, just as I was leaving."

Sara hated being late to anything, but this time had been worse. Scared that Catherine would have left when she arrived, even when she was only 15 minutes late.

Catherine didn't want Sara to know she had started to fear the brunette wouldn't show up. She was relieved Sara had shown up, and wouldn't let something as Sara being a little late ruin her chance to apologize.

"That's okay Sara. I would've waited a lot longer."

Catherine hadn't meant to say the last part, but she had a tendency to say more than she wanted to around Sara. In the past that had usually been in anger.

Now that Sara was sitting in front of her, Catherine couldn't remember the apology she had been practicing since the younger woman had agreed to meet her.

Sara patiently waited for Catherine to say what the other woman wanted to say. She was quietly watching Catherine trying to find the words to say and the courage to actually say them. She had all the time Catherine needed, and didn't mind waiting quietly.

"I'm sorry," Once Catherine started, the words just kept coming. Not what she had been practicing, but it was some kind of an explanation.

Sara got the gist of what Catherine was saying, but much of it didn't make sense. Catherine genuinely conveyed her apology, and that was all Sara cared about. She was okay with not understanding the explanation, at that point, hoping she would have the opportunity to hear a more cohesive explanation another time. That Catherine was willing to give her an apology, and the nervousness expressed in the explanation gave Sara hope that friendship was a possibility.

Sara was open to pick up the friendship again, but that didn't mean she was ready to trust Catherine enough to let the other woman all the way in. It was hard enough to trust the first time, and that hadn't worked out. Usually Sara didn't give people a second chance to hurt her, and she was hoping Catherine would prove her wrong, and for once she wouldn't end up hurt.

It wasn't something new for Sara to hide part of herself. She didn't intent to come out and say she didn't trust Catherine. Wanting to be a friend without risking too much.

Even after Sara had accepted Catherine's apology, the atmosphere had been awkward. It had been hard to find something to talk about. They had finally started talking about Lindsey and Emily. That had lessened the awkwardness, and the conversation had flowed easily. It had started to fell like before when they had met regularly for breakfast.

Once they had started talking, the rest of the diner had been forgotten. They even forgot about time, and Catherine had had to rush to work to not be late. Catherine hadn't wanted to leave, afraid that once she left, Sara would realize she wasn't worth the second chance. She didn't have a choice, there was no way she would be able to get the night off. There were also the fact that Sara had to get home to Emily, so they wouldn't have been able to continue talking, no matter how much Catherine wanted it.

Sara had been very specific on the time she had to be home. That had surprised Catherine since the brunette had mentioned Cam was staying with Emily.

Whatever the reason Catherine didn't want to question anything and risk Sara finally getting angry with her, as she felt she deserved.

Sara didn't want to admit why she had to leave. Believing it would just show Catherine that she wasn't a good mother. The fear of being a bad parent, haunted Sara no matter the progress Emily made or how happy the girl was.

Much to Catherine's surprise, Sara was the one to suggest they meet again another time. At that point Catherine would have been happy to agree to any time and place Sara would like to meet. Hoping it wouldn't take away too much time from Lindsey, but at that moment Catherine wanted to salvage and begin the friendship, before finding the reason Lindsey was so angry at Sara.

Sara had suggested they meet for breakfast on Thursday where she didn't have to be at the University early. That way Sara figured both girls would be at school and neither of them would have to miss out on time with their daughters.