I think dating on Gallifrey must be rather like it is for Discworld dwarves. There it starts with very discreetly discovering what sex the other dwarf is under all that beard and chainmail. I will leave the pursuit of this analogy to the interested reader.
"They could reproduce sexually," Tegan said. She was instantly the center of attention. Tegan was sitting with Ambirren, Keludar, Turlough, and a few others in an Academy courtyard. It was a student party. Keludar hadn't called it a party, but to Tegan's eyes they all looked like university students she'd seen hanging out. True, she didn't expect kegs of beer and togas, but she and Turlough were the only ones not wearing robes. It had been Keludar's idea, to make up for the quarrel. He'd invited Tegan to come tell a group of students about her trip Outside. She'd dragged Turlough along to squash her in case she started quarreling with Keludar again. "They don't because they believe that their lifestyle should only be chosen by those who know what they're giving up here."
"The problem with the Shobogans," Ambirren said in his unhurried tones, "is that they lived in a closed system. Their numbers are determined by how many people choose to live Outside and how fast they die. No viable culture can be sustained without breeding new members. They're a parasite culture."
"I think they're crazy to give all this up to live out there," Turlough said forcefully. "They couldn't be what they are if they hadn't first had all that basic education. They're performing a social experiment on themselves. How can they be objective?"
"I don't know if they're right, all I know is that they're happy. They want to be left in peace to live as they like." Tegan leveled a frown on them all.
"Happy?" Keludar lounged in his seat, a smile playing about his lips. "How quaint. They're happy in their furs, chasing inoffensive animals, killing, eating them, and wearing their skins, while their planet's civilization continues elsewhere. It sounds like massive self-indulgence to me."
"And you're contributing something to civilization, Keludar, when you're not combing your hair?" It was one of the students Tegan had just met who spoke, and he enlarged on his query. "Certainly you're ornamental. You're looking especially Patrexean today."
This probably referred to the brilliant heliotrope of the robe Keludar was wearing. It had a yoke and cuffs of light grey piped with black, accentuating the basic color. Keludar arched a sardonic eyebrow. "At least I am ornamental, Delan, and add something to my surroundings. Not all of us make the effort to be ornamental, or even to amuse others with their wit. As for significant contributions, what are you doing at the Academy if you are not dedicating your existence to your world?"
Delan looked miffed. "You make it sound self-sacrificing. You're receiving a larger benefit than Gallifrey by your education."
"Works in progress, Delan. Think of all the work that Gallifrey put into breeding the Shobogans, and they throw it away to live in the wilderness."
Ambirren asked Tegan, "So how would you describe true primitives? Do you consider yourself primitive?"
Tegan looked back at him, and tried not to scowl. She'd never really warmed to Ambirren, though Turlough seemed to like him.
"Is it a relative term, or not? I know my planet is way behind Gallifrey. I've only seen a little of your world, so I don't know all the ways people live here, but on Earth, there are people who live off the land the way their ancestors have for thousands of years. They didn't choose that life, they were born into it." Tegan bit her lip, trying to think out what she wanted to tell them. Pigs were barn-storming the Citadel, devils were figure skating in Hell, and the students of the Time Lord Academy were listening to an ex-air hostess.
"At the same time, in the human culture I came from, we have people who are always trying to increase the sum of human knowledge. They may know very little compared to any of you, but aren't they on the same path?"
Turlough grinned at her. "I suppose there has to be some reason that Earth is the Doctor's favorite planet to visit."
"I never doubted it," Keludar claimed, mirroring Turlough's grin.
- o - O - o -
Ambirren started a discussion on the relative or absolute use of the word primitive. Delving into Gallifreyan semantics, it soon became too abstract for Tegan to follow. She slipped out. The bridge that led from the semi-private courtyard to the main plaza was a good spot to linger and watch the life of the Academy go on about and without her.
She wasn't really surprised that Keludar followed her. Why else linger on the bridge?
"You talked about the Shobogans for two hours and never answered my question."
"That being?"
"Do you prefer life Outside or in the Citadel?"
"It's not a question of places, but of people." Tegan leaned against the rail, not looking at him.
"And the people? Did you prefer any of the Shobogans?"
Tegan looked at him. She never knew how to take questions like that from Keludar. She liked him, and she didn't. She was attracted to him, and she wasn't. The very dichotomy of her feelings disturbed her.
"I liked some of them."
"I'm afraid your talk was a disappointment to some of our number. I think they were expecting to hear of more radical deeds than community sing-a-longs."
"You mean orgies? Sorry, if they had them, I was not invited."
"And if you had been?"
"That was a joke, Kel. Sex isn't as easy as you might think. You can get into a lot of trouble, following animal instincts." The moment the words popped out of her mouth, Tegan thought she understood a lot more about Keludar. "Intelligence and education make it possible to… to manage the whole messy business. Sex has consequences."
Keludar looked like he was carefully considering every word that came out of her mouth.
Tegan ran her fingers through her hair, standing it on end. She didn't want to explain to him how ugly things could get in the course of swapping body fluids. She wanted to scream, but he truly didn't understand. "Kel, you are very handsome. You know that, don't you?"
Keludar raised an eyebrow. "Yes, so? My features are a byproduct of genetic selection."
"But not all Gallifreyans look like you. Haven't you noticed the advantage it gives you? You're known for being witty, and you certainly have the gift of gab, but you get away with more because you're handsome."
"So I am the beneficiary of an atavistic reflex to favor certain facial characteristics?"
"If you have to put it in big words, yeah."
Keludar's lips quirked in a faint smile. "It doesn't seem to work on you."
"I haven't slapped you yet," Tegan pointed out. "And don't think I haven't been tempted." She was tired of all this analysis. After a while, talk stopped meaning anything.
"You're attractive. As the expert in primitive social interactions, I am sure you notice how Gallifreyan males, even Time Lords, experience an atavistic reflex to favor you." He reached out, tracing the line of her jaw before she stepped back.
"Not really. It's a far cry from being thought… ornamental, to getting respect." Tegan tried to shrug off his words.
"'Ornamental' is an ill-chosen word to describe you. Your outward appearance is comely, but you are loud, stubborn, and hot-tempered. Gallifreyan women are ornamental: lovely statues, still life paintings in pastel colors. I don't even have a word for what you are. It's quite infuriating." Keludar considered her carefully, his blue eyes intent in a baffled face.
Tegan didn't like it. She felt like he was trying to pin her down, a butterfly to be catalogued and collected. "Whatever I am, I don't do it for your benefit, or your… " Her splendid retort was ruined by the lack of a word.
"Detriment?" Keludar suggested with a grin.
"Whatever. It has nothing to do with you. I'm being me, that's all. Take it or leave it." Tegan put her hands on her hips and tried to stare him down.
It was a spectacular failure. Keludar closed on her and put his hands on her shoulders. "I'll take it, then."
His touch and the look in his eyes jolted Tegan. She hadn't entertained sexual response for a long time, and it was an unwelcome guest now. She ducked out of his grasp. "That was an expression, not an invitation. Learn the difference," she growled.
Keludar didn't try to hold her, but his gaze never left her; he hardly blinked. "Our acquaintance has been highly educational so far."
"Maybe the Academy will make me a professor," Tegan said, eying him warily.
"Speaking of professors, someone is trying to get your attention." Keludar pointed to the next bridge. Professor Omicron stood there, beckoning. Then he walked off the bridge into the shadowy area beyond.
"Tell Turlough not to wait. Thanks for the invitation, I owe you one!" Tegan hurried to catch up with the Professor.
"That's two," Keludar said as she sped away.
- o - O - o -
Tegan tracked the Professor by the gleam of his gold cowl, the only thing she could spot as he moved through dimly lit areas. He plainly knew she was there by the tap of her high heels. He paused by an open door and held it for her. "It may be a bit of a walk," he said apologetically. "If you take the end of my stole, I'll lead you. The floors are quite even, and there is some light."
She took the end of the stole and gazed past him into the dark passage. "The Doctor thought you were dead. He seemed a little upset. I'm sorry if it makes trouble for you."
"Don't worry about that. I've seen Presidents come and go. They've too much to deal with to bother with an old Time Lord who does not harm. Besides, I'm a very clever fellow if I say so myself. Up for a little adventure, Lady Tegan?" He smiled at her hopefully.
"I've got used to doing crazy things on the spur of the moment. It's the Doctor's preferred way of life."
"You make him sound a very interesting fellow. I can see we've much to chat about. Now, then." He moved into the passage with a whisper of robes. Tegan guessed it must be some sort of maintenance access. They walked for at least a half hour, though Tegan's sense of time was scrambled by near constant darkness. She didn't know why she trusted the old man, but she did.
Lights started coming on around them. He led her out into a pleasant little room that had viewscreens set around the walls like windows. There was a view of Gallifrey from space, and of closer landscapes she didn't recognize except for one view of the mountains that looked like the one she could see from the Presidential garden.
The main furnishing of the room was a big armchair, upholstered in deep green with golden tassels. Set next to it was a table of the kind Tegan was used to in the public areas, and complete with the usual sort of chair.
"Welcome to my little den. Please have a seat. I brought in the chair especially for you. I've never had a guest before."
"It's hardly like being inside at all," Tegan said, settling into the other seat while the Professor lowered himself into his armchair.
"I live in the walls of the Citadel, yet I see more of the Outside than most. You might call me the 'Insider.' He laughed joyfully at his pun.
"That's a good joke, all right, but it can't be healthy to live alone like this. You let some of the students know you. Why be so secretive?"
The Professor ordered the table to serve them refreshments, and the usual array of drinks and food pills appeared. "I listened to your account of your visit to the Shobogans. It was quite enlightening to see them through your eyes. How old are you, my dear?"
Tegan would have given Keludar, Turlough, or the Doctor a piece of her mind, but she couldn't quite bring herself to pry at the elderly Time Lord. "I'm twenty-four, I think. It's hard to keep track of birthdays when you go time traveling."
"Twenty-four," the Professor murmured. "Amazing." He gently took her hand. "I could figure out exactly how old I am, but after ten thousand years the exact count does not seem important." He looked at their joined hands. "Everything must be new to such youth. You are counted an adult on your world, are you not?"
"There's no one to make my decisions but me. I've counted that true since I was eighteen." Tegan tried to sound brash. She couldn't stop staring at his hand. What was ten thousand years old on Earth that was even human-built? The Pyramids, maybe?
Professor Omicron considered Tegan with ancient yet keen eyes. "Here you are, a young woman from a race that has not yet begun to travel in space. You've seen alien worlds of all sorts, and now you are living as a guest of the ruler of one of the most powerful worlds in the cosmos. Why are you here, Lady Tegan? Why did you agree to come?" He squeezed her hand gently then released it. "For my part, you are most welcome here."
"I left my world to travel with the Doctor. I didn't want to go home yet." Tegan picked up a food pill and rolled it between her fingers. "There was nothing I wanted to do that matched traveling with him. I'm an ordinary person. Getting picked up the first time was an accident. For him to turn up again in my life… I couldn't pass up a chance like that. It wasn't like I was leaving anything behind except family. I guess you could say I wanted to live as big a life as I could."
"That was a very brave thing to do. However, I must confess I do not understand why the Doctor would allow you and other young people to travel with him. You are an adult, and a brave woman, but how can he think it good to take you away from your own life? Are you not in your primary childbearing years? I understand it is a dangerous business to carry a fetus to term and that many humanoid females die of this even in the best circumstances. What will you do when you go home, wiser but older?"
He sound close to tears, and Tegan, who would have ordinarily responded like the ardent feminist she was, tried to keep her cool. "Having children is not the be-all and end-all of every woman's life. Not on Gallifrey, not on Earth, and if my opinion counts, not anywhere."
Professor Omicron sighed and sank deep into his chair. "We are much alike."
"Huh?" said Tegan.
"I walked out of my life, but at the end of it, not the beginning. The idea is that after your final regeneration, you are supposed to be entirely free to live your own life. Therefore, they forced me to retire from teaching. The Academy is particularly strict about the retirement regeneration. With so many teachers living for thousands of years, advancement comes slowly to junior staff. The petty intrigues of the Academy faculty could fill many books, all very boring." He sipped from his cup. "I realized that I was in a rut several thousand years deep. Retirees are expected to live out their lives in pampered luxury, and be about as useful as timepieces for Eternals. I had to do something different."
Tegan munched on food pills while she listened.
The Professor leaned over the table, grinning conspiratorially. "Under my real name, I have a little apartment that's quite empty but consumes enough resources for a doddering old Time Lord. It leaves me free to live this second, independent life. I am accountable to no one except my own conscience. Being nonexistent is quite convenient."
"What do you do with all this freedom? What's the difference between that apartment and this… secret lair?" Tegan also couldn't see how they were all that alike.
"I observe; I pay attention; I learn. Once I realized that I'd been in a rut, it became plain to me that Gallifrey was in a rut. This is a stagnant culture. If I were living as part of it, I would have no chance of making objective measurements. Now you come along, with your young eyes that see my world in a fresh light. It's most invigorating. Secret lair! Hee. HeeHEE!" He began to laugh. It sounded rusty.
Tegan was relieved when he subsided. "You ought to talk to the Doctor. He's worried about Gallifrey, too."
"No, no. He's the President. I must keep my distance in order to maintain perspective."
"What's the good of observing if you're not going to do anything?"
"Who said I was doing nothing?' His eyes twinkled. "But go to the President? Your Doctor seems a clever young fellow. What good would I be to him? He's already got enough bottoms to warm the seats of the High Council. Those who see what should be done should do it. Thus this work falls to me."
"The Insider's work, right?"
"Exactly. I may doubt the Doctor's sense of ethics in carrying a lot of young people, but I can see why he picked you. You're such charming company, my dear. Too charming to spend much time cooped up here with an old relic like me. I wish you would consider reproduction. I think it's an awful shame that there will be so little of you in history. A few short decades, like a flower that blooms too close to winter's first frost."
Tegan's eyes stung. "I probably can't have children. A few years ago, I got pregnant. I was very young and scared and angry and I didn't want a child, and not with… that's not important. The operation didn't turn out well and I was sick for a long time. There's scarring, and… anyway, that's how it is."
"So your traditional options being lost, you wanted to live your life as most you could any way you found?"
"Exactly. I guess you were right about you and me, Professor." Tegan summoned up a watery smile. "Besides, I liked the idea of going out among aliens. I wanted to go places where I'd be judged for who I am, not for being pretty."
The Professor chuckled. "How has that turned out?"
"Most of the time, people are too busy trying to kill us to care what I wear, or what I don't wear, for that matter. I always liked the Doctor because he expects me to use my brain and he judges me by what I do, not what I look like. Not that he's been too pleased. My bad temper's always getting me in a scrape. I didn't dare ask him to take me the second time. I charged in like there was no question. I didn't want to be left behind again."
"I'm certain that if the Doctor did not want you on board his capsule, he would have removed you. Assure yourself of his willingness, my dear Lady Tegan." The Professor patted her arm.
"We're good friends now. I only wish I saw more of him. He works so hard. He never wanted to be President, but he couldn't turn aside if there was the chance he could make things better. Borusa's going to the bad hit the Doctor hard."
"I dare say." Professor Omicron regarded one of his viewscreens. "I think this would be a good time for me to escort you back. Would you like to visit me again?"
"If only to make you laugh," Tegan smiled at him. He didn't admit it any more than the Doctor did, but she thought the Professor was lonely.
"Then take this data solid. It will allow you to send messages to me. I'll contact you in my own unique way," he said gleefully. "Now, back to your President you go, and tell him that I am quite harmless."
Tegan took the crystal. "And all this should be our secret?"
"I shan't ask you to make promises, my dear. You must use your best judgment. But remember–quite, quite harmless!"
tbc