'I don't need a doctorate to speak with authority
40,000 years we've been painting in caves
I don't need an answer to each of my questions
When the nape of your neck just won't let me "behave"'
www dot christopherbingham dot com slash because dot html
Tegan emerged from her refuge and surveyed the dancers. The Doctor was dancing with Turlough. He was leading, which was no surprise as the Doctor never did lack for ego. But what could Turlough be saying to make him blush? It had to be Turlough's doing, there was no other reason for such a wicked grin.
Then Leela danced by with Litha. Leela was leading. Tegan had the distinct impression that Leela was leading whether Litha liked it or not. There was nothing for her to read from Litha's imperturbable features, but Leela's set jaw and narrowed eyes made her motion more like a wary animal than a dancer. Tegan looked around for Andred and did not see him.
"You don't think she'll attack Lady Lithasomralirdan, do you?" The question wasn't addressed to Tegan. Near her were two of the young Time Ladies who were Flavia's invitees to the party. They were talking to each other while they watched the dancers.
"She hasn't attacked anyone for several years, that I've heard."
"Clearly she hasn't completely given up on savagery. Look at her snarl! It makes me shiver, Nerin." The young Time Lady shivered rather theatrically.
"Hedea, don't exaggerate. Look, we'll ask the human. She might know." Nerin drew her buddy Hedea the few steps to Tegan's side.
Tegan braced herself and took a preemptive grip on her temper. That didn't stop her from eyeing the two Time Ladies with a frosty gaze. Not that she could do it half so well as a Gallifreyan. They had a temperature advantage.
"Lady Tegan, we have a question about sexual relations," Nerin began.
"All right," Tegan said brusquely, Australian accent going full blast.
"No, Nerin! That's not the place to start." Hedea explained, "We've noticed that Commander Andred has only danced with Leela. Leela, however, has danced with the Lord President. Just a moment ago, Lady Lithasomralirdan asked Commander Andred to dance, he refused, and then suddenly she was dancing with Leela. You didn't see?"
"No, I was out of the room. Sorry I missed it," Tegan said, meaning it.
Nerin broke in, "So we were wondering if Andred can only dance with Leela because of their sexual bond, if that means she's also had sex with the President?"
Hedea shook her head, "It must go farther than that! This activity, the dancing, the choosing of pairs and ritual touching, is obviously a mathematical representation of primitive sexual practice. We are actually seeing the modeling of intimate relationships in the social hierarchy." Hedea's eyes glittered; she was actually flushed with excitement.
Nerin frowned. "By that theory, you're implying that Leela has or is intending to engage in sexual relations with Lady Litha, when obviously Leela was ensuring that Lady Litha did not displace her with Andred. They obviously form an exclusive dyad."
"A what?" asked Tegan, not sure whether to laugh or slap them both. She chose not to comment on Leela's relationship with the Doctor.
"A pair with a mutual vector," Nerin clarified.
Hedea continued to expound on her theory. "The President has danced almost exclusively with females. In primitive terms, that marks his position as the alpha male of a social hierarchy. In a culture where status is dictated by sexual prowess, he is entitled to have sexual relations with all the subordinate females."
Tegan wondered if this conversation had anything to do with how Turlough had made the Doctor blush.
Nerin commented, "Really, Hedea? I noticed he hasn't danced with you, yet."
"I haven't danced with any men yet. I believe that this activity is stimulating dominance instincts in their hind brains," Hedea sniffed. "They don't seem to need much stimulation, do they?"
"You've a point, Hedea." Nerin turned to Tegan. "To expand on Hedea's theory, I've noticed that the men were very eager to dance with you. Have you had sex with many of them?"
She'd been here before. It was like school back in Brisbane, the poor girl and the rich snotty girls. Tonight, though, she was Lady Tegan, official Presidential Date. She produced a smile, or bared her teeth, close enough. "It's not polite to ask such questions. On my planet we say, "'A gentleman does not tell.' In this case, a lady does not tell. As for dancing being a symbol for sex, fair enough. In my opinion, you'd both be better off if you did more dancing and less talking."
"Interesting advice, my dear." Another woman had come up to them. Tegan recognized Lady Thalia, a member of the Council. It was easy: Thalia wore a distinctive necklace, with thick golden plaques like a collar around her throat, and heavy pendants. To accommodate it, she showed more skin than any Gallifreyan Tegan had yet seen, including the Shobogans. Hedea and Nerin adopted chastened postures.
Thalia smiled at Tegan. "I fear some of the young people are unaccustomed to such exercises and find it tries their discipline." Nerin and Hedea excused themselves with quick apologies to Tegan.
She did not feel safer for their absence. "The Doctor said he thought an evening of frivolity would do people good," she ventured.
A Time Lord with a hopeful expression approached Tegan. Thalia turned on him with a look of stern inquiry. "Pardon, ladies, I did not mean to intrude," he said, and hastily veered off.
"Pardon me for interfering, Lady Tegan, but I hoped to talk to you a little longer."
"What's on your mind?" Thalia made Tegan uncomfortable, for no reason she could identify.
"I shan't speak of gossip. I would not lower myself to do so, unlike some. You and that red haired boy should never have come here. The Doctor is an idealist and there is no one more dangerous. You are primitive, but if there is an iota of intellect that is yours alone and not the Doctor's possession, you will see what he is doing to this world. He is President, not… God." She put a hand to the center pendant of her necklace. "Did you know Nyssa of Traken?"
"Yes," Tegan admitted. Thalia had her with that name.
"She lost her entire world, that was one world among many worlds, to entropy. We gave our past and our future to safeguard the Web of Time. Entropy is our enemy." Her fingers tightened, knuckles whitening, on the pendant. "You do not wish to be another Nyssa."
Tegan wasn't sure what to make of this, but she knew how she felt about Nyssa. She looked the old bat square in the eyes. "I could do worse."
"Indeed, you could," said Lady Thalia killingly, and swept off.
Tegan stared blankly after her.
- o - O - o -
"Would you like–"
"–to dance? Excuse me, I was here first."
"I asked first. You rudely interrupted me."
Tegan came out of her trance to find herself flanked by two Time Lords. Dardanian appeared to be in his fifties, and wore whatever age he was well. His hair was silver, but thick and wavy. Relnatus reminded her of Ambirren, with similar curly dark hair and eyes that were nearly golden in a dark face.
"You deliberately spoke from farther away." Relnatus glared at Dardanian.
"Can I say something? Hello?" Tegan waved a hand to get their attention. This was one weird evening. "I could dance with one of you first, and the other next."
Dardanian smiled. "That's a wise compromise. Relnatus, wait–"
"Why should you go first?"
"I asked first."
"Please, not again. I'll dance with Lord Dardanian first because he's older. That's polite where I come from."
"Actually," Relnatus said smiling, "I'm older by three centuries."
"All right, but no more arguing. Lord Dardanian, if you still care for the next dance, it's promised to you." Tegan gave her hand to Relnatus and they took to the dance floor.
An hour or so and many dances later, Tegan refused the next would-be partner with the excuse that she needed to take a break. She got herself a drink and slipped out to the veranda. It was a Gallifreyan architectural feature that she had no other name for: a porch set at the back of the hall and encased wholly by some energy screen or transparent substance that housed trailing vines. It was the first thing resembling a window she'd seen on Gallifrey. The transparent panes of the Spire did not count. They weren't meant for ordinary viewing.
She stood looking over a snow-covered slope. Beyond it lay the barren lands that surrounded the Citadel, vague shadowy masses under a cloudy sky. The multi-colored lights of the Citadel made stained glass patterns on the snow.
While visiting the Shobogans, she'd seen it at night from a distance. The Citadel looked like a rocket ship from an old adventure serial, jeweled with myriad lights. How many of the Gallifreyans dwelling within had ever so seen it with their own eyes?
Tegan sighed. The music drifted from the main hall to her ears. After that first dance with the Doctor, she'd spent the night with eager but inexpert partners, who had a tendency to push instead of lead. Now, she let impulse guide her as if she were on the floor of a Brisbane discotheque. She spun so that her skirt floated out about her legs. The swish of it made her laugh and fling her arms out. This was dance, straight out of her body. The formal steps were nothing without this feeling.
During her instruction, Tegan had avoided classes in modern dance. She would rather have been a stripper. Baring the body was nothing compared to baring the soul. Now her body lacked the training to express what she felt. There was no cool Gallifreyan hand to moderate her motion. The music did not restrain her. She heard it with human ears and human response.
She danced, alone, and felt emotions trying to batter their way out. Even before Tegan had seen a snake skull mirrored in place of her own head, she had never been one for reflection. She did not analyze what she felt. She felt it; felt it twist her body and fling her arms wide, then snap them down until her hands were fisted at her side.
"Those steps were not in the protocol briefing for this ceremony."
Tegan stopped and found herself facing Keludar.
- o - O - o -
"I thought coming in here would keep you lot out. Too much Outside." She nodded towards the window.
"With this scenery to gaze upon, there would have been others here with us had I not the foresight to lock the door." Keludar frowned at her. "Don't look like that. You can unlock it and leave any time you like. I guessed you'd end up out here. You did say we would find time to talk later. Is it not later?"
Tegan snorted. "I suppose so. I'd hoped tonight would be fun, though, and you're not here for a little light banter."
"Is that what you were doing? It's not wallowing in the mud, I know, but was it fun?"
"Not exactly, but it felt good, well, no." She stretched her arms out behind her and turned away. "I was doing what I wanted to do, that's all. That's part of what fun is."
He came up behind her. "Very well reasoned. We may make a Gallifreyan of you yet."
Tegan laughed. "Not likely. Even if I stayed here the rest of my life, which is about a long weekend the way you lot think." She was facing the window. Whatever it was made of, there was no reflection in the perfect transparency to show her how close Keludar was, though she could feel his proximity.
"I can see now why your clothes are so different from any others tonight. Even Leela's. Her clothing is always camouflage. She dresses like us only enough to fit in, but underneath she is always Leela. You… you are not hiding anything. You dressed to dance, you came to dance." Keludar's hands came down lightly on her shoulders, cupping the points. "What do you see out there? It's very pretty, but it's only crystallized water with trace minerals."
Tegan glanced back over her shoulder, unsure if she wanted Keludar so close. But his touch was so light, his manner so genuinely sincere, that it seemed harsh to repel him. His handsome face was even more attractive with that warm smile. "Snow. Why go into the science of it? I'm not going to claim science has no artistic values, but it's just snow. It's clean and white and shiny. It's new. It covers the details of the land so that all you can see are the shapes. It's like a fresh piece of paper you could draw anything on."
"And you're wearing it," he said with a chuckle she could feel puffed over her neck. His thumbs traced the line of cloth where it met her skin.
"Yeah, I guess I am. All I knew at the start was that I'd be going with the Doctor, so I wanted white and gold to match him."
"You certainly don't match me, but I should think the contrast is striking: a fair-haired male in black with a dark-haired female in white." He leaned closer until she could feel his breath on her ear. "Do you know why all the Time Ladies have been cold to you tonight? It's not merely that your dress makes them look like over-upholstered statues. I quite like the ones who had the nerve to wear trousers."
She should move, but now she was curious. Keludar could always be depended on for juicy gossip. "They're always cold. Lady Flavia treated me no differently."
"You're the Doctor's escort. Lady Flavia is a master politician. You've been popular as a dance partner, but you don't seem to have realized that the men have been jostling for position to dance with you. They've been calculating vectors of opportunity so as to be the one by your side for the next dance." The old mocking tone had crept back into his voice and Tegan didn't like it.
She protested automatically, "That's ridicu–"
"What did the Doctor say when he saw your dress for the first time?"
"He didn't say anything about my dress. He hardly ever says anything about the way I look. He did say something about a mob, but I thought he was joking."
"Haven't you ever noticed how Gallifreyans wear collars with high necks? Even without the formal collar frames that stand up in back past the head?"
"Yes, wearing them makes me feel like my halo has slipped."
"I don't understand that reference, but you clearly don't like them. However, there is a reason for the style. On Gallifrey, the nape of the neck is a key erogenous zone."
Tegan scowled. "It is for humans, too. My dress is not indecent, or Leela or the Doctor would have said something before I got here. Leela's gown isn't high collared."
"But it doesn't dip in the back like yours does. You've framed that area. It's not indecent, but it does provoke a sexual response, especially in males." Keludar paused, but Tegan made no more response than a soft snort. "My theory is that the prevalence of high collars was adopted as a cultural declaration of asexuality. You, my dear Tegan, have flown in the face of a millennia-old custom. Men who may never have seen a woman's bare neck in private, let alone in public, are realizing to their upset that it is a highly desirable sight." His fingers tightening on her shoulders, he pressed his lips to the nape of her neck.
Tegan gasped and twisted away from his grip. The instant she moved his fingers released her. "Keep your hands to yourself, Keludar. That was rude, at the very least." Tegan was angry, but she could see that she would have been smarter to keep her distance from him. Hadn't there been an element of flirtation in her behavior? Keludar was very handsome and as Leela had noted, Tegan was 'lonely in the flesh.'
"Yes, it was. I accepted an invitation not meant for me." He followed her only with his gaze. "Don't leave yet. You look like a woman who has just been kissed. It's most becoming."
"I am not running away from you. On the other hand, you should stay right where you are. Keludar, if you're going to keep trying to… press your attentions on me, we are not going to be able to stay friends. If that's what we ever were." Tegan did not hold back her bitterness.
"I don't regret kissing you. I wish that the invitation had been made to me. The thought of your consent to my advances is most stimulating. However, the idea that I have taken something that belonged to another has an illicit charm of its own."
"You sound like the Master," Tegan said, aiming to wound.
"Blood will out, as they say on your world." Keludar laughed, and Tegan could not tell if she'd hurt him. "Are we friends, despite the vast gap between us? What means a million years of evolution if the distance between Gallifreyan and Human can be bridged by a kiss? We chose, in the time of Rassilon, to remain flesh instead of seeking to become beings of pure mental energy. The consequence of that choice for me is that I desire two things I cannot have: to become a Time Lord, and you. Are we friends? All I know is that I prefer your smile to your frown."
"Hell's teeth, all you Gallifreyans live so long to have enough time to finish your sentences. If you're the evolved one, how come I have to answer the question?"
"You won't let me answer it save by words. Come here, and I will give you the answer with no words at all. If I was the Doctor, would you hesitate? Are you and he friends?"
"Of course we are, not that it's any of your business."
"You'd let him kiss you. I saw the way you danced with him."
"Again, none of your business! What do you expect, Kel?" Her angry voice rang out.
He let the echoes die before replying. "Nothing. Nothing at all. I do like you, you know. I didn't expect to like you simply because you're nothing like a Gallifreyan. I didn't think you'd make me laugh with you and not at you. Kissing you tasted like I was a vampire drinking life from your veins instead of heat from your mouth."
Keludar sounded like he was the one bleeding. Tegan said remorsefully, "I shouldn't have kissed you."
"Don't say that." He followed the demand with a laugh. "You shouldn't be sorry for me. For one thing, it's not necessary. I don't regret it. For the second, before I even met you, I wagered that I could bed you."
tbc
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