(At the boat)

Ernst: Hey! There's a ship coming! AHOY! AHOY! WE'RE OVER HERE! (Does a tap dance on the railing to be sure to get their attention.)

Fritz: (looks through the spyglass) Get down, you stupid idiot! Those are the same pirates who bombed us! And it looks like they're singing Gilbert and Sullivan!

(His spyglass is apparently extraordinarily powerful, as it shows the pirates just like the camera was on them)

Pirate King: For I am a Pirate King!

Pirates: You are, hurrah for the Pirate King!

Pirate King: And it is, it is a glorious thing, to be a Pirate King. For I am a Pirate King!

Pirates: You are, hurrah for the Pirate King!

Pirate King: And it is, it is a glorious thing to be a Pirate King.

Pirates: It is, hurrah for the Pirate King, hurrah for the Pirate King!

Pirate King: Now that we're done performing show tunes, let's get back to bombing and pillaging. Now let me walk around and speak in gibberish, which is apparently Disney's Thai/Indonesian language. (ahem) UGFAUG auauydgwlidga!

Pirates: UGFAUG auauydgwlidga.

Pirate King: JABIDHA ishgaoida Hey, there's that ship we bombed yesterday. Let's go pillage them some more.

Pirates: ANCVOIEH okay.

(They sail for the ship.)

Ernst: Crud!

Fritz: Jerk! I know who we're eating for dinner. You are sooo the stupid younger brother. Besides, I am hot Fritz, who looks totally sexy without his shirt. And you…don't.

Ernst: (takes off shirt) Don't make me get my angry face on.

Fritz: Oh, your angry face. I am so frightened.

Pirates: (randomly start screaming at the sight of Ernst without a shirt and rowing away.)

Ernst: Wow, Father. What did you do? They definitely can't be running away from anything I did.

Father: Put up the Black Death flag. See, you really have no need here. Fritz is the strong one, and I am way smarter than you, so why don't we just eat you once the food gets low?

Ernst: Uh…

Fritz: We can eat him when we get back to shore. Now, let's salvage everything from the ship. (They do so.)

Fritz: (wrestles hog)

Ernst: I could wrestle a hog.

Father: Look, Ernst, just because you're the Marian of our movie, doesn't mean that you can be stupid. Marian served some purpose in Woman in White, and your only purpose here is to be eaten. So shut up.

Ernst: Please don't eat me.

Father: Shut up. Okay. Let's bring all the animals after us.

(They bring the animals trailing along behind on flotation devices.)

Shark: Oh, some nice humans. I wonder if they'll be friends with me.

Ernst: SHARK MUST KILL SHARK! (He grabs a piece of wood and starts hitting the shark away)

Shark: No one loves me. Hey! Here's a bunch of floating livestock. Me eat.

Sharks: Oh! Floating livestock! Yum!

Father: DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE! ME SHOOT YOU ALL!

Fritz: Whack! Kapow! Bling! Zow!

Ernst: Thank you, Fritz for your wonderful sound effects.

Fritz: It's what I do.

Ernst: That was sarcasm, you oafish lout.

Fritz: (blinks) Shut up! Just because I'm the dumb hot guy doesn't mean that you can be mean to me. I'm hot and manly and here that's all that matters.

Ernst: I am surrounded by idiots…

Sharks: We're going away now because no one luvs us.

Father: Yay!

(They land)