Fritz: Hey! It's a zebra! In a quicksand pit!
Hyenas: Yummy yummy quicksand zebra….
Roberta: No! We must save the zebra!
Fritz: I will risk my life and save the zebra, because it means so much to you. (Goes to do so)
Ernst: Hey, Roberta. I know poetry. Yeah. Now aren't I so much cooler that Fritz? (Strikes a manly, poetry pose. If such thing is possible.) Ja. Check out my manly rugged arms. Ja.
Roberta: Oh, I never could resist a guy who knew poetry! Now go rescue my zebra. Its name is Bob. I heart it. A lot more than I heart you.
Ernst: Eh…
(Fritz and Ernst get the zebra out and the hyenas away.)
Roberta: Now I will ride the zebra home! I love you Bob! I love you even more than Walter's from Woman in White's manly rugged arms.
(For to get the joke, listen to the original London cast of Woman in White)
Fritz: And I suddenly know how to get home!
(Authoress's Note: Somewhere between the above time and when they get home, there is an issue with Fritz almost getting drowned/suffocated/neck broken by a boa constrictor. Don't worry- Ernst doesn't do anything to make anyone not hate him, Roberta only screams and cries a lot, and Fritz escapes unscathed and is as dashingly hot –or more so!- as ever.)
(At the tree house)
Mother: It's Christmas! I miss Fritz! My only hope is that by now he's killed Ernst like he promised me before he left…Ye-es…death to the middle child…
Father: It's official. You never shut up.
Francis: Hey! Look what followed me home! (He pets an alligator, who smiles and licks its lips.)
Mother: No. Nononononononono. I am drawing the line.
Francis: Aw, come on. He looks so cute! We can name him Bob!
Mother: FRANCIS! IT'S EATING YOUR ARM!
Francis: No, that's just a love bite. Heehee, that tickles!
Father: Francis, I think that this pet is going to have to come with me to the Animal Hyatt, the hotel chain that the authoress doesn't own.
Mother: Oh thank God, you're going to kill this one too…
Francis: Kill? You said it was going to the Animal Hyatt an get massages an daiquiris an everything!
Father: Francis, it's an alligator! It is currently eating up your left leg!
Francis: Oh yeah…that…
(Fritz, Ernst, and Roberta ride up, Roberta on the zebra)
Fritz, Ernst, and Roberta: O CHRITSMAS TREE, O CHRISTMAS TREE! THY LEAVES ARE SO UNCHANGING!
Mother: FRITZ!
Father: FRITZ!
Francis: FRITZ!
Monkey, Elephant, Ostrich, Alligator, and Hippo, all named Bob: FRITZ!
Roberta: FRITZ! (glomps) (Everyone stares) Uh…hehehe
Fritz: ME! (glomps self) I love me. Me me me.