[7] {Seven is a perfect number, and I figured it's been a long enough wait. But anyway, I know the fact that Derek has a girlfriend really isn't very popular, and I'm not sure how happy you guys will be after finding out who it is. I promise it's always Meredith/Derek in the end though, always. They're my "ONE True Pairing" after all. Much love. (And also, a super long chapter to hopefully make up for it while I'm on vacation. Keep reading?)}

Mid-February, Seattle's temperatures dropped dramatically. The weather forecasters kept seeing snow in the future, but so far the skies had yielded nothing. For once, the incessant rain was not falling; however, the dryness of the atmosphere left everyone's hair standing on end, literally.
Mark's coffee sat abandoned as he scribbled in his charts, flipping through pages rapidly as he muttered, "D*** those interns. What did I say about filling out my charts legibly?"

He'd gone through half his charts when the clicking of heels stole his attention from the charts he was recopying with noticeable difficulty. The familiar figure down the hall made him do a double take, before he tapped the nearest intern on the shoulder and ditched his charts at the counter. "Charts," he snapped. "And do them right this time or you and your buddy who messed up will be getting me coffee for an indefinite amount of time."

"Is there a reason Dr. Sloan is standing in my gallery, waving his arms like an insane person?" Derek asked calmly as he resected a tumor, his hands free of the slightest tremble. The rest of his medical staff looked up as well, just in time to see Mark sigh with exasperation.

"Derek," he mouthed again, taking up the large sweeping gesture of his arms once again as he tried to get the neurosurgeon's attention. Derek remained unresponsive as he dropped the tumor into a metal tray, barely looking up before he refocused on the open brain in front of him.

"Shepherd." Mark's voice came through the intercom; he'd finally decided to just press the button instead of saying his sentences silently as he waved like a lunatic.

"What is it, Mark?" Derek replied, not even looking up.

"Um, 911."

Derek glanced up briefly. "Nurse, check my pager."

"No," Mark insisted. "No, not your pager. We have a crisis on our hands." No response from Derek. "Houston, we have a problem. I repeat, Houston, we have a problem. Uh, send help. Stat."

"Did you seriously just say 'send help stat'?" Derek's chuckle was unable to stay hidden as he shook his head at Mark's antics. "Because I seriously have no idea what you're talking about. Lucky for you, I just completed a successful surgery despite your childish antics. Meet me in the scrub room, 'stat'?" He was still laughing to himself, replaying Mark's urgent and incoherent messages in his head when his friend walked in. "Seriously," Derek laughed again. "'Send help stat'?"

"Yes, 'send help stat'!" Mark replied, crossing his arms defiantly. "I can't believe 'Houston, we have a problem' didn't even get so much as a flicker of recognition from you."

"That's because I had no clue what you were going on about, Mark," Derek grinned as he toweled off his arms and walked out of the scrub room, Mark following behind him. "What's so important?"

"She's here," Mark lowered his voice. "Like, here-here. As in the I-saw-her kind of here. Like, she-was-walking-toward-me here."

"Addison?" Derek asked with a frown, stopping at the nurse's station to fill out his chart.

"Yes, Addison." The sing-song voice of the redhead came from somewhere behind the two surgeons.

"Seven o'clock," Mark muttered before putting on a smile. "Addison!" He greeted, like he had no previous idea that she was in town.

"Mark Sloan, you know I can hear you right? And it was actually seven o'clock, not eight. By the way, I swear I saw you earlier, filling out charts. Have they demoted you to an intern around here?" Addison Montgomery's familiar smirk was directed at Mark before she held out her arms. "Oh, come here. How's my favorite man-whore?"

"Not so loud!" Mark replied, pulling away with a grin. "And just so you know, I'm still the best plastics surgeon around town. Around everywhere. Or have you been living under a rock in LA?"

"I always knew I liked you," Addison smiled, before turning to Derek, who'd put away his chart and was now wearing his McDreamy grin.

"How are you, Addie?"

"Good," she gave him a quick peck. "But you've been ignoring my calls."

"I'm a world renowned neurosurgeon. I have surgeries, I'm busy."

"He's a world renowned neurosurgeon," Mark repeated with a nod. When Addison shot him the Addison-look, he quickly said, "And uh, I'm the best of the best when it comes to plastics surgeons. Super busy. Gotta go." He hurried off in the other direction, mouthing, "Talk to her. Explain. January 31. Meredith."

"I'm glad LA's been treating you well," Derek said when Mark's retreating figure disappeared around a corner.

"Why aren't you calling me back, Derek?" Addison sighed, linking her arm through his as she pulled him toward the elevators.

"I told you, Addie. I've been busy." He leaned over to kiss her cheek briefly before they stepped into the elevator. "Come on, I'll buy you coffee."

Max stood in front of Meredith's apartment, knocking his knuckles against her door before shoving his hands into his pockets. It was the second time he'd stood in front of her door, the first being the night he made sure she ended up home safely. "Fond memory," he said to himself, smiling when the door opened and Meredith waved him in. "Hey, doctor."

"Want to meet Zeus?" She asked, leading him through her apartment. "Zeus!" She called, and before he knew it, Max was lying on his back, a full grown golden retriever's paws resting on the front of his shirt. "He likes meeting new people," Meredith was laughing, although the back of her mind recalled how Zeus' friendliness had led her to Derek.

"I can see that," Max said when he finally rolled out from underneath the dog and stood up. Zeus ran laps around the bartender and his owner, his tail waving back and forth before he sat down near Max's feet, sniffing Max's shoes.

"You two will get along perfectly," Meredith reached down to rub Zeus' head affectionately. "So, his food and vitamins and treats are in the cupboard next to the fridge. His leash is next to the door, and his bed is in my room. Feel free to take anything with you if you want him to stay at your place." She paused, biting her lip as she stared around the room to see if she'd forgotten anything else. "He's 11, so he's not going to play with you like a puppy would, but that's a good thing. It doesn't mean he won't tackle you like he just did though, so always watch your back, literally."

Max had settled down on the floor, Zeus' head in his lap. "We'll be fine, doctor. Don't worry. We're going to have a lot of fun, aren't we?" He gave Zeus a good scratch behind his ears before standing up. "Now get your things, and I'll drive you to the airport. No way am I letting you miss this flight."

Little was said as Max drove Meredith to the airport, pushing the speed limit to be sure she was on that plane toward Seattle. His hands gripped the steering wheel loosely, casually, while she sat tense in the passenger seat. For her sake, he tried to look as nervous as he knew she felt, sitting up straighter and fixating his eyes on the road. He thought maybe it would help, although he wasn't really sure what would.

"I feel like nothing in this world could encompass my feelings," Meredith blurted, chewing on her thumb. She didn't do it often, just when she was stressed and nervous.

"Stop talking like that, I don't understand you." Max smiled, glancing over briefly before turning his eyes back to the cars ahead of him. "And stop biting your nail. It's a nasty habit."

"'Nasty'?" Meredith smiled.

"Nasty," Max confirmed before he reached over and pushed her hand back down into her lap.

Derek Shepherd stared at Addison Montgomery while she talked, his eyes following the fluid motion of her hands as she waved them dramatically in the air. She always talked with her hands; it was like she could never sit still for more than a few seconds. Maybe that was why she'd specialized in OB/GYN—babies moved and fussed a lot. He doubted Addison ever had a spare moment when she was on the job.

"I missed this place, Derek." Addison was referring to Starbucks, and she waved her hand in an arc to make sure Derek understood what she meant.

"Starbucks?" He smiled. "There are Starbucks in LA, Addie. There's Starbucks all over the world."

"No," Addison laughed. She reached forward, covering Derek's hand over the table. "Well, yes. But I meant I missed sitting here with you, talking and laughing over dumb things like me missing Starbucks and Seattle and most of all, you."

She was smiling at him, her signature Addison smile that looked like she was smiling, only maybe she wasn't fully smiling, but she actually was. He didn't know how to describe it. Addison was classy, she was tall and elegant and not only did she have the Addison-look, she had the Addison-smile. She was a bunch of good things all piled into one brilliant woman, and maybe, Derek thought, maybe he could love her. He smiled back, although something about Addison's expression said his smile wasn't reaching his eyes.

He wanted to say that he'd missed her too, and he wanted to mean it. But if Derek had really missed Addison, he would've picked up her every call. Maybe he would've flown down to LA to see her. Maybe he would've really kissed her the moment he saw her, and not have settled for that simple peck on the lips.

He was supposed to tell her about Meredith. That was what Mark had been talking about in the elevator on January 31—"When are you going to tell her?" "Tell who?"—but Derek had been too distracted by that particular date of the year that he hadn't even remembered Addison was his girlfriend.

But how were you supposed to tell the girl you were dating about the girl you were still in love with? And why did you have to? Addison was never supposed to be the replacement, not really. She'd been there to make everything hurt less. It wasn't like Derek had looked at her and fallen in love—she wasn't Meredith.

He met her at the bar. He hadn't been meaning to; Derek Shepherd was beyond help, that's what everyone said. He walked into Joe's and slid into a seat at the counter, ordering his regular scotch and a beer on the side. He made little conversation, didn't look at anyone, didn't try to pick up any girls. He was just there to drink, like he was almost every night.

Addison had noticed him a few days ago, noticed how he came into the bar often, noticed the way he walked and talked and sometimes smiled. She was visiting Seattle for a case, leaving the sunshine in LA for a few weeks. Joe's was convenient; it was right across the street from SGMW and there were little things Addison Montgomery enjoyed more than a good night spent drinking.

She hadn't planned on getting into a relationship, of course not. She was in Seattle for work, not to fool around. Needless to say, she didn't have the best luck with relationships, and anyway, work kept her on her toes so much that she didn't have time for one anyway. But looking at Derek for a few nights in a row and Addison already knew she wanted him.

She got his attention by placing a hand on his arm, asking, "Is this seat taken?" He glanced up at her, taking in her eyes and her hair and her face, before shaking his head. "It's not."

He didn't strike her as the best conversation maker, but she slid into the seat anyway. She sat there in silence for a few minutes, debating what to say before blurting out, "Will you buy me a drink?" He hadn't asked, but she needed a drink.

Derek turned slowly so he could see her, mute as he once again took in her features. She wasn't bad looking. Actually, she was quite attractive. But she wasn't his type—no, that wasn't it. Because in reality, nobody was Derek's type, nobody but Meredith Grey. He'd spent so long missing her though, that he didn't even feel like himself anymore. Like if she came back right at this moment, she wouldn't even recognize him.

He opened his mouth to speak, saying, "Sure, why not?"

She smiled. It was the first time he saw that Addison-smile, like she was unsure of where this was heading, but she was used to getting what she wanted. "Okay. Okay, great. That's good. Um, apple martini, please."

"Apple martini," Derek informed Joe, whose eyes widened slightly at the fact that Derek Shepherd was buying someone a drink, after almost four years of missing Meredith.

"You like your alcohol don't you?" Derek asked as he ordered another martini for Addison.

"Yes. Yes, I do," she slurred her words together, flashing him a smile, to which he smiled back.

He didn't know how many glasses of scotch he'd gone through, or how many apple martinis she'd drank. All he knew was that he was drunk, and so was she.

"Let's go," he muttered, taking her by the arm. She stumbled a bit, leaning on him as her high heels clicked across the bar floor, both of them heading out into the cold.

They took a cab back to Addison's room at the Hyatt. She gave him a hasty kiss in the car before leading him up to her room. He hadn't been expecting to end up here, but all the alcohol Derek had consumed was clouding his judgment, and Addison had been on a set track the minute she'd finished off her first apple martini.

Addison's eyes were closed as she yelled, "I don't, your name."

"Derek," he informed her, preoccupied.

"Addison," she told him, and he smiled. It was a nice name. Not "Meredith", by any means, but it was a nice name.

Eventually they both climaxed, both exhausted as they lay on different pillows catching their breath. "That was," she began, breathing heavily. "That was amazing."

"Yeah, sure," was all he said, nodding. "It was." His mind was evidently elsewhere as he turned on his side and closed his eyes, his body exhausted.

When Derek woke up the next morning, he didn't recognize the nice bed with the white sheets and the dark blue curtains. "What's going on…?" He mumbled, shifting slowly until he could see the redhead lying next to him. "Addison," he muttered, the events of the night before coming back to him. He'd been at Joe's, and after who knew how long, he'd gone "home" with a girl.

He got dressed quietly, leaving the Hyatt and driving home to change before he had to work. He didn't understand himself or his actions, cursing himself for drinking too much and ending up having sex with a girl he didn't know. She wasn't Meredith, and he knew that. He knew nobody would ever be Meredith. But hadn't he suffered long enough? It wasn't easy or simple or uncomplicated when the love of his life had broken his heart. When he walked through the doors of SGMW and Mark immediately drilled him on his whereabouts the prior evening, his best friend already knowing he'd gone home with a girl, Derek came to a realization he hadn't expected to have, mostly because it made him sound crazy. "The sex makes it hurt less."

"Seriously?" Mark asked, the doubt written all over his face as he handed Derek a coffee.

"I don't know why it does, but it does."

"Okay. Anything that'll make you get over you-know-who."

But Mark didn't really understand. The plastics surgeon understood most things about Derek, but the one thing he hadn't quite grasped was that Derek would never fully get over Meredith. The sex numbed the pain, but that didn't mean Meredith's face didn't appear in Derek's head regularly. And even when Derek eventually began a relationship with the redhead who turned out to be a surgeon herself, he knew Addison couldn't be a replacement for the love of his life. It was impossible to replace someone who was your soul mate. It didn't matter if he wanted to love Addison, it didn't matter if he wanted to forget about Meredith—he couldn't. He was trying to try, but he knew that you could never erase the person who meant more to you than anything else, much less the endless pages of memories that Derek hadn't finished writing in the story of his life with Meredith Grey.

Max held Meredith's bags as he watched her standing in the middle of the airport. He was watching her so intently mainly because she wasn't moving through security when she was supposed to be moving through security. He didn't want to push her, but every glance at his watch told him that the day wasn't getting any younger, and the flight wouldn't be waiting for forever.

When Max finally sighed, Meredith's eyes were wide as they met his. "Okay, doctor. You have to go, and you have to go now. You know I'm not going to make you, because that's what makes our friendship work so well, but I have to make you. So, I'm making you. Go, Meredith." He used her actual name, figuring that saying "doctor" again just wouldn't cut it. "Go and I don't know, be happy. Because maybe he won't be waiting for you, but something tells me that he will be. That he's been waiting for you. And you have to like, go to Seattle, not because of that heart you need to bring back. But for you. And for me. Because we are two people who deserve happy endings and there's nothing in my future that says love right now, so you have to go and fall in love again and tell me about it. I'm basically your best girlfriend, right?"

"Right." Meredith's smile always made her look prettier, no matter how fragile it was.

"But I'm not gay. We're clear on that?"

"We're clear." She was smiling fully now. Max sighed again, dropping her bags onto the floor before extending his arms.

"Okay. Come here and give me a hug." He wrapped his arms around her small frame as she stepped into him, hugging her tight as he added more quietly, "I'm serious. Go be happy. I need you to come back happy."

"I'll try. For you, I'll try," she teased, picking up her bags herself now. It was a good start, her holding her own bags. "I'll see you in a few days?"

"Of course. I'll be waiting at the airport to take you home even if your flight comes in at 3am. Now hurry." He waved her off toward security, and with one last smile, Meredith turned and got into the line. Max watched until she'd passed the security check before he turned and headed back to where he'd parked his car. Basically, security was a real pain to go through, but for once he was glad it existed, because he knew that once Meredith passed those gates, he wouldn't be able to rush through and be there for her. That was good. She had to go to Seattle and see Derek, and Max wasn't going to settle for anything else.

Seattle was unfamiliar and familiar all at once. Meredith still recognized everything, but at the same time it felt like everything had changed in the past four years. What if Derek wasn't waiting for her? What if Max had been terribly wrong?

She checked into her hotel which was located barely five minutes away from the hospital. She couldn't figure out if that was a good or bad thing—it was close for her to run to and hide if needed, but also close for her to be found quickly.

She felt like she needed to call Max so he could talk her into staying before she talked herself out of it, but she was supposed to be stepping foot back into SGMW in a few minutes. She didn't have any time left to sit there in her hotel and feel sorry for herself. She'd waited years wondering if Derek still loved her, and now she actually had to find out. The hardest part was knowing that if he didn't, it was because she'd been the one to walk away in the first place.

It was all on her.

Meredith got in her rental car and pulled out of the parking lot. The five minute drive wasn't anywhere near long enough for her to take a deep breath, pull herself together, and prepare to see Derek Shepherd after four years.

She felt distinctly out of place as she made her way through the walls of Seattle Grace Mercy West. The hospital had been her home since she was a little girl, but one failed relationship with Derek and she felt like she didn't belong anymore. He was the neuro god here. And who was she? She was the girl who'd fallen in love with him, the intern who'd slept with the attending, but ditched because she had never been good with intimacy.

And she still wasn't. She was scared, terrified even, and she couldn't see him or face him.

It was easier to blend into the crowd of people walking around the hospital because of her lack of scrubs and a lab coat. But when she was finally making her way across the bridge toward the Chief's office, her stomach felt like it was flipping, her clothing standing out among the blue scrub-wearing doctors.

"You just have to talk to the Chief, and then you can sit down and breathe." She was talking quietly to herself as she watched her feet, careful not to trip over her shoes and embarrass herself—people would be talking the minute she started falling to the ground. "Did you hear? Meredith Grey is back. The one that broke Derek Shepherd. Ellis Grey's daughter? I saw her trip on the bridge. That girl could never get her act together."

She began to relax the closer she got to Dr. Webber's office, slowly convincing herself that it would be okay. She wasn't back to stay. She was just here to get a heart; maybe she wouldn't see Derek or anyone else at all. The Chief's office still looked the same as Meredith glanced through the large glass windows to see him sitting at his desk, that same amount of paperwork still stacked around him, the couch in the corner. Despite everything that had happened when she left, despite how fervently Richard had begged her to stay, and despite how Meredith had hurt him by leaving, she still smiled to see him sitting there. She was glad he was still the Chief.

She turned from looking into his office to focus back on where she was headed, the double doors which were almost always propped open just a couple yards away. And then the dark curls of an attending dressed in navy blue turned the corner in front of her, making Meredith stop abruptly, her sudden halt creating a disruption in the steady flow of medical personnel. Derek looked up from the charts in his hand at the way traffic had changed its direction, his blue eyes meeting another set of blue that took him back to that summer's day almost six years ago.

And she wasn't a figment of his imagination, and he wasn't part of a dream she was having.

They were both right there. A couple yards away from each other. Close enough to figure out that regardless of the past four years, this was real. They were both in Seattle again; maybe they could pick up right where they left off.

Derek's face displayed his emotions so clearly that Meredith almost flinched. He wore an expression of confusion that mirrored the hurt and pain and sadness and disbelief he'd been put through since Meredith walked away. But he was so confused. His brain was telling him that she was there in front of him, but he didn't so much as smile. He couldn't understand why she was standing in front of him when she was supposed to be somewhere else than here, and the uncertainty was making him question everything.

Meredith held her breath as she searched Derek's face with anticipation, impossibly trying to read what he was feeling. And then when he continued to wear nothing but confusion, she turned around quickly on her heel, and walked away.