PS: Please, Don't Disown Me

by aej325

"And then Rose was muttering, 'Oh God' for a whole different reason than before. The door to the Room of Requirement was open. They were practically naked. And there stood her Uncle Neville." A story in which Rose and Scorpius are discovered in an compromising situation, and forced to write letters home explaining.

7. HOWLER

Title: PS - Please, Don't Disown Me

Disclaimer: I always seem to forget this... I. Do. Not. Own. Harry. Potter. *tear*

A/N: I'm sooo sorry for the all caps. I personally hate when people write like that - it feels like you're being screamed at, y'know?
J.K. Rowling wrote Molly's howler this way, so I figured I would too.

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PS - Please, Don't Disown Me

Chapter VII

At Saturday morning's breakfast, amongst her peers, Rose Weasley received - and ignored - a Howler.
The result is as following:

-BLOODY BUGGERING HELL! HOW DO YOU WORK THIS 'MIONE?
NO, I'VE NEVER SENT ONE OF THESE BLOODY THINGS.
OUR CHILDREN ARE GENERALLY WELL BEHAVED. I - HUH?

WHAT'S A RECORDER?
WELL I DON'T KNOW HOW TO WORK A STUPID MUGGLE RECORDER.
OI! SORRY! NO NEED TO TOSS YOUR BLOODY WAND AT ME.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN I JUST HAVE TO SPEAK INTO IT? SPEAK IN WHAT?

THE LETTER? WHY?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S ALREADY GOING?
DAMMIT 'MIONE... WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT BEFORE... BLOODY WOMAN...

-ROSE JEANETTE WEASLEY! HOW COULD YOU?

THE ROOM OF REQUIREMENT WITH A BOY?
IN A "C-C-COMP-COMPROMISING POSITION?"
AND NOT DRESSED?
NOT DRESSED?
WITH A BOY?

A BOY WITH THE NAME OF MALFOY?
A MALFOY ROSIE? A MALFOY! YOU - YOU - YOU... WHYYYY? WHY ROSIE?
I DID NOT BRING YOU UP TO - TO ENJOY... COMPANY WITH... TRAITORS. I DID NOT BRING YOU UP TO ENJOY COMPANY WITH M-M-M... PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT YOU GENDER!

I...

YOUR MOTHER...

WE WILL HAVE A TALK WITH YOU ROSE.
YOU... YOU ARE IN SOO MUCH TROUBLE YOU LITTLE... YOU LITTLE DEVIL CHILD.

AND - AND - AND, HUGO, HUGO SAYS THAT - THAT - MALFOY - YOU - TOGETHER - PREGNANT.

PREGNANT?

AND MA-MA-MA-MARRIAGE? YOU, HIM, NO. PPFFF. GAH. MARRIAGE? BAD!

DON'T YOU EVER, EVER, EVER, TALK TO... HIM AGAIN. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME ROSIE? NO MORE TALKING TO BOYS! NO MORE!
YOU MAY TALK TO YOUR BROTHER... AND JAMES... AND ALBUS... AND YOUR OTHER COUSINS... AND YOUR TEACHERS... BUT!

THAT.
IS.
ALL.

NO MORE. NO MORE BOYS.

BOYS ARE BAD. NO MORE, ROSIE. NO MORE-EENHHH! 'MIONE, WHAT THE BLOODY HELL. LE'GO OF MY EAR!

'MIONE! OWW-

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Bahahahaha, I hope that was as humorous to y'all as it was to me.
And on the down side, I most likely won't be posting any long letters in the next week. I've got an eight page essay to write. Bahhh. (Again, please ignore my incessant whining.) Haha.

Reviews are always loved and cherished. ;D