Summary: What might have been had Harry not gone to the Dursley's all those years ago, but instead been raised as a wizard.
Disclaimer: I do not own them, I just play with them.
A/N: This fic is AU, not canon. For this fic's purposes Voldemort will not stay near death.
Chapter 18 ( I Want to go Home)
The next morning dawned and Severus woke, pulling the still-sleepy Harry from the bed and ushering him towards the bathroom to wash up. Severus went to the kitchen and sat at the table to eat, and it was not long before Harry emerged wearing a green shirt and a pair of pants. His hair was uncombed, and there were remnants of dried toothpaste on the corner of his mouth. Usually Severus would have chuckled at the sight, but his stomach was already turning flips. Taking Harry by the hand, he led him back to the bathroom, combed his unruly hair, and wiped his face again.
When Severus appeared back in the kitchen and sat down, there was a steaming stack of pancakes on his plate.
"Lucy?" he said, turning his head toward the house elf, who was busy wiping up the counter.
"I thought I asked you just for coffee this morning?"
"Sir did ask me for coffee, but sir needs something to eat, so Lucy made sir pancakes."
Severus normally would have argued the point, but when he glanced over at Harry, he could see the boy pushing his own food around his plate. Picking up his fork, Severus brought a bite of food to his mouth and instantly regretted it. He was worried about letting Harry go and his worry had his stomach churning to the point of being sick.
"Nerves, it's just nerves," he told himself, but he pushed the plate away after only two bites and saw Harry do the same.
"Harry, are you ready to go? The Weasleys are expecting you at ten."
Harry gulped down the swallow of juice he had taken and stared blankly at Severus. His eyes showed fear, but he said nothing. Severus would have given anything for Harry to scream he wasn't going, that he was staying home with his dad, but Harry uttered not a sound.
Grabbing Harry's overnight bag that Lucy had packed, Severus walked over to the floo and stepped in. He motioned for Harry to join him, and Harry shuffled his feet inside the fireplace.
As the fireplace grates whizzed past Severus' stomach lurched. He wanted to maim the wizard who had thought up the idea of traveling by floo. It had never set right with him, always bringing him to the point of losing his meal. He was very happy when the Weasley's grate popped up, and he grabbed Harry by the collar and stepped out.
"Severus, so good to see you looking well," Arthur Weasley said, shaking Severus' hand. "This must be Harry, who we have heard so much about."
Harry said nothing, his eyes riveted to the five faces staring back at him. They looked harmless enough, especially the one boy Harry's size, but Harry had not released his grip on his father's hand yet. Before his mind adjusted to the first five, two more faces joined the others, two identical faces.
Severus knelt down in front of Harry, handing him his overnight bag. "I am just a floo away should you need me. Do you know how to get back?"
Harry rolled his eyes and nodded his head, but said nothing. His grip on Severus' hand was tightening.
"He will be fine, Severus; I will see to it. Come, dear, you look absolutely famished. Let me fix you a spot of breakfast, put some meat on those bones," Molly said, taking Harry by his hand and leading him away to the kitchen.
Severus just stood there, making no move towards the floo. He wanted to run to Harry, to tell him that he didn't have to stay and that if he never spoke again it would be all right with him, but Severus knew that was not going to do Harry any good. Telling Arthur he would be at home all night should he be needed, Severus then stepped into the floo, giving one last look at Harry as he was seated at the table.
Harry sat down, his stomach rumbling, but he did not wish to eat with so many people staring at him.
"Is it true? Are you Harry Potter?" Fred asked, his mouth full of eggs. A smack to his head sent the eggs flying out over Percy's plate.
"Fred Weasley, how dare you," Molly chided. "Eat up, Harry, dear."
Harry didn't want to eat -- he wanted to run home as fast as he could, where there was no one staring at him -- but he could not deny the smell of the freshly scrambled eggs and sausage had his mouth watering. He took a bite and found they tasted as good as they smelled, and soon his plate was as empty as Ron's. He was full, but he watched in horror as Ron devoured another plate of eggs and two pieces of toast.
"Why don't you go and show Harry around the house," Molly said, pointing the spatula she was washing, "and no funny business from any of you."
Percy went off and stuck his nose in a book in the sitting room, and Charlie and Bill went outside to degnome the garden. That left Harry with Ron and the twins, Fred and George, since Ginny was helping her mother.
"So, mate, wanna play a game or something? Dad has been teaching me how to play chess."
Harry sat down while Ron explained chess and then found himself being beaten four times. The fun of the game ended when Ron declared he had won again, and Harry stood up, wandering over to the mantle to stare at the pictures.
"You sure don't talk, do you? Mum said you didn't, but I thought she was only fooling us." Harry's whole body tensed up from these words, until Ron placed his hand on his shoulder.
"That's fine with me, though, usually no one hears me, either, over Fred and George making so much noise. Come on, how about we go and watch them play Quidditch?"
Harry had heard of Quidditch before and couldn't wait until he was older so he could play too. He once had asked his father if he could have a broom, but Severus had told him he was too little.
When they walked out into the backyard, they found Charlie and Bill flinging gnomes around by their feet and over the fence. Harry thought it looked funny and even laughed, despite his best efforts not to. He didn't get to watch long because Ron was pulling him along by the shirt towards what Harry thought was one of the best things he had ever seen: Fred and George were on brooms, flying at least twenty feet off the ground. When they spotted Harry and Ron coming towards them, they landed and walked over.
"Glad to see you came outside, Harry."
George looked at Ron with raised eyebrows when Harry said nothing.
"Ever ridden a broom, Harry?" George asked. Harry shook his head no, and George snickered. "We have been riding for at least a year. Mom wouldn't let us get a proper size brooms yet, says we would break a limb, but she lets us fly about on these," he said, pointing to the broom slung over his shoulder.
"All you have to do is say up and the broom will go right into your hand, mount up and you can take off," Fred replied, handing Harry his broom.
Harry wanted more than anything to ride the broom and, in the end, after ten minutes of staring at it, he spoke the word.
"Up!" he said, rather more forcefully than needed.
The broom shot straight into his hand, and Harry mounted it just like Fred had showed him. He was surprised when it began to lift off the ground, but he was more surprised that he loved the feeling. It was better than anything he could have imagined. He flew past the twins and over the fence, where Charlie had to duck to keep from being hit. He flew for a long time, enjoying the wind in his face and the thought of being free, until Fred called him back over.
"Your a natural, Harry," he said, patting Harry on the back.
"Never seen anyone take to a broom like that before, you'll be Quidditch captain someday," George added.
The boys took turns riding the broom all afternoon, until Molly called them in for dinner. Everyone seemed famished, and Harry did not have to be told to eat this time. He ate everything on his plate and then sat back quite content. He was happy, but yet feeling a little bit tired.
"Why don't you boys go and settle Harry in. He can sleep with Ron tonight."
Ron led Harry up a winding staircase and opened the door to his room. Earlier Molly had charmed the bed into two beds, both with the blazing orange duvets with the words Chuddley Cannons on it.
"This is my room. It is the smallest, but I like it, because it's mine and I don't have to share with Fred and George. I slept in their room once when I got scared, and they set my flannels on fire by accident."
Harry sat down on the bed that his bag was sitting on and stared around the room. There were posters on the wall of Quidditch players flying around and a banner for Hogwarts that said Gryffindor. He thought it was a very nice room.
Ron started gabbing away and didn't even stop when Harry stepped in the bathroom to change clothes. He was still talking when Harry sat back down on the bed.
"You know I always thought Snape was a Death Eater, but I guess since he is your dad, he isn't."
Ron didn't notice Harry's grip on the sheets tighten, or the look of panic cross his face. Harry remembered the meeting all to well. He remembered the words of how he would make a fine Death Eater someday, of how it was destined to happen because he was pureblooded. Harry didn't hear whatever Ron said next, as his mind was whirling with the horrific things he had seen that night, but his ears perked up with the words "pure blood."
"See, we are pure blood wizards, too, but mum and dad said they would rather die than join forces with him. Never had any family member in anything other than Gryffindor since Gran was around. Mum said it was a shame that people raised their kids to think they had to become Death Eaters.
Harry fought back the bile in his throat and opened his mouth. It was dry from non use, so the words came out almost in a croak. "Just because you are pure blood doesn't mean you have to join forces with Voldemort?"
"Gah! Don't say his name, Harry. It's like an omen, you know."
Harry sat back on the bed. His mind really was racing. He had thought that because Severus had to be a Death Eater, he did too. Severus explained to him a long time ago about being a spy for Dumbledore, but Harry had seen first hand what Severus had to go through. He didn't want it, he never had, and he had been scared since that night. Little did he know Severus was home right now pacing the floors with worry.
"Would sir like a glass of warm milk to calm him before bed?"
Severus looked up from in front of the fireplace where he had been pacing back and forth for over an hour. "I am fine, Lucy. I think I will retire to my room for the night. It is quite late, and I wish to be up early to go and get Harry."
Lucy boldly walked over to where Severus was, blocking his path to his room. "Lucy knows sir is worried, she can see it in Master Snape's face. He will talk again soon, Lucy just knows he will."
Severus sighed deeply. "Perhaps you are right. I will achieve nothing worrying about it. Goodnight, Lucy," Severus said, stepping past the house elf and going to his room.
Once there, Severus got into his nightclothes and sat down on the bed. He wanted to relax, but he couldn't. His mind raced with thoughts of Harry. It was his fault Harry was not speaking, his fault the child had no joy in him now. He berated himself silently, until his head began to throb. He thought about getting up for a potion to ease it off, but knew it was only from stress. Severus laid back down, hoping morning would hurry up and come. The clock beside him read only eleven, and he knew it would be many more hours until Harry would be back home. Figuring the faster he fell asleep, the faster Harry would be home, Severus closed his eyes.
Molly had come in, told the boys it was past time for sleeping, and spelled all the lights in the room out. It didn't really matter, for the moonlight streaming through the window lit up the room quite nicely. The last explosion from Fred's and George's room had been heard well over an hour ago, and Ron looked as if he were getting sleepy. Harry knew he had to ask now, before Ron fell asleep.
"Ron, if someone's parent were a Death Eater would it mean they had to be a Death Eater too? I thought all pureblooded wizards had to be one."
"Who told you that load of rubbish?" Ron said from his bed. "Mum and Dad would disown me if I even thought of becoming a follower of You- Know-Who. Look, Harry, just because someone's parents are off their rocker, doesn't mean they have to be. Of course no one has to be a Death Eater, pureblood or not; we are purebloods and you don't see us out killing Muggles, do you? Look, I am tired, so I am going to sleep. You should too. Mum calls us early for breakfast."
Harry's face lit up with the knowledge of what Ron had just told him. For months now he thought he had to join Voldemort, and now he knew he didn't. Everything would be fine now. Clutching his stuffed dragon, Harry jumped out of his bed. He didn't heed the yells of Ron, wondering where he was going. He knew where he was going, back home to tell his Dad the news.
The dark staircase, which would have frightened him before, didn't bother Harry at all as he stumbled down it. He ran past the kitchen and didn't stop until his little feet were standing in front of the fireplace. The pot of floo powder was up high, and Harry was quite short. Even on his tiptoes, he couldn't reach it. Harry began to cry quietly. He wanted his Dad. He wanted to tell Severus that he was okay now, that he understood. It wasn't until he felt Molly's hand on his shoulder that he looked up.
"You want to go home, don't you, Harry?" she said, softly stroking his hair.
Harry could see that Ron had woken his Mum, probably after he had bolted from the room. He didn't want to hurt Ron's feelings, but he wanted to go home.
"I want my Dad," Harry sniffled out.
"Come dear let us get you dressed, then I will take you home," Molly said.
"No, I want to go now, please. I really like it here, but I have to tell Dad something. Maybe Ron could come over soon and spend the night with me."
"Very well," Molly said, ushering Harry inside the fireplace.
Harry glanced over at Ron and could see his eyes already glazing over with sleep. He saw Mr. Weasley come over and tell Ron to get back to bed, and Ron turned to go, but stopped.
"See you, Harry," he said, waving as he walked away.
"Snape Manor," Molly said, after tossing the floo powder in, and soon Harry was whirling past grate after grate.
Harry hoped he was stepping out fast enough, and when he saw the familiar face of Lucy he knew he was home. He didn't stop to say hello, or even explain why he was home. He ran down the hall towards his father's room. Harry burst through the door, which brought Severus sitting straight up in his bed, wand at the ready.
"Dad, I don't have to become a Death Eater, Ron said so!" Harry yelled, bounding onto the bed.
Severus was in shock. He had woken up not only to a ruckus and his door being flung open so hard it clanged on the hinges, but now before him was Harry, tears drying on his face, talking rapidly. Wait... talking? Harry was talking!
Severus flung his arms around Harry, the sound of his voice filling Severus' ears. It was the best sound in the whole world to him. He sat while Harry explained very fast what Ron had told him, and then looked at Harry with big eyes. After Harry ran out of breath and finally stopped, Severus spoke. "This is what has been bothering you? This is why you stopped talking?"
Harry nodded his head in affirmation.
"Why?" Severus questioned. "Why didn't you come and tell me?"
Harry stammered, his voice barely above a whisper, "I thought you would be angry. I don't ever want to join Voldemort. He is mean and hurts people; he hurts you, Daddy."
Severus hung his head in shame for what he had done to the child. He knew these were his own issues and should not have been placed on one so young. "Harry, I am sorry I ever took you there. It was my fault for thinking he would leave you in peace afterwards. I made a decision, a very bad one long ago; the same one you will have to make someday, I fear. I am confident you will make the right one, whereas I chose poorly. You never have to go back there again."
Harry clung to his father, his palms twisting his nightshirt into a ball. "I don't want you to go back, Daddy. He hurts people; he'll hurt you."
Severus pulled Harry's chin up to meet his gaze. "I go for you, Harry, so that I can give information to save people. I will make this promise: I will never leave you willingly. It would take all the dragons in the world to take me away from you."
Harry hugged his father and led him away by the hand. Severus wondered where the child was leading him, until Harry pushed him down in a chair in the kitchen. Lucy was there even before Harry could call for her. Harry went over and whispered into her ear and soon the table was filled full of eggs and sausages and a lovely stack of steaming pancakes
"You didn't eat breakfast this morning, Daddy, and I know you are hungry; I can hear your stomach talking."
The room was so silent you could hear a pin drop, until Severus burst out laughing so loudly he almost fell out of the chair.
"What is so funny?" Harry asked.
"You spend a few hours with Molly Weasley and already you are trying to feed me. That woman has been trying to fatten me up for years."
Harry had to laugh too, as he had never seen his father laugh so hard that tears ran down his face. That night, even though it was really one in the morning, they sat at the table, just father and son, and ate a lovely breakfast.
A/N: See you next Thursday with Chapter 19 (More than the Moon and Stars)