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Santana hugged Brittany closely, lying her head in the perfect crevice between her firm shoulder and soft neck. She took in deep breaths, filling her body with Brittany. Brittany unclipped Santana's name tag and unsheathed Santana from her work jacket, laying them on the table behind her, before circling her arms around the slim waist.
"I missed you," Santana said, clinging tighter to Brittany, unwilling to let go.
"I missed you." Brittany said in return. She let her head fall lazily, her nose grazing the soft strand's of Santana's hair. She pressed her lips firmly to the Latina's hairline, where a few soft curls grew no more than a couple of inches. Santana hated them. She called them her 'baby curls' and let the curtain of her hair cover them. But, Brittany searched them out, wrapping them around her finger, once, maybe twice. She loved that they framed her face, soft and kind. Never overpowering.
"Are you okay, San?" Brittany asked, kissing her softly. Once, twice, repeatedly to the same rhythm as her fingers twirling around Santana's hair.
"I was thinking about you today."
Brittany raised an eyebrow cheekily, "Oh yeah."
Santana chuckled without heart. It wasn't entirely unrealistic. It always surprised Santana how easily she could find Brittany in everything. The pink hue of the chemical she was using was the same one that spread over Brittany just after her release, like dye in water, sprawling to all ends until the cream of her skin is covered. The flower on her coworker's broach matched the one in Brittany's hair when she proposed to her. Never more happy she had hugged Brittany close until the only thing she felt was the bubble around her, brimming with the intoxicating scent of rose and Brittany. They remained in their tight embrace until the waiter arrived with a high priced check, smiling to himself. And they had never made more tender, gentler love than they had that night. Staring into the microscope she sees their tangled legs, caramel and milk, not the twisting of genetic material. She sees their love, mixed and woven together until all that is left is purity, softness, kindness, lust. Care and attraction. Unending want and need. Blissful content.
Santana pulled herself out of her reverie, looking deep into Brittany's blue eyes. Brittany squeezed her, urging her on.
"I see all these cases. These murder cases and these deaths," Santana begins shakily, her fingers searching for the comfort of Brittany's warm skin beneath the hem of her shirt. She slides her fingers under cotton and onto unyielding muscles. "And sometimes there is no reason, there's no explanation. And if there's no reason, then I could lose you or the girls. I could try my hardest, and love you my hardest and lose-"
" They always say it hurts until it hurts a little less." Brittany countered. Santana was surprised, upset that she was only being reaffirmed and not appeased. She clung tighter to Brittany, hands meshing with Brittany's back.
"How could it hurt any less?" Brittany continued, "How could it ever hurt any less to not have you or Spencer, or Sutton? How could it not hurt endlessly and agonizingly? And that hurt, it just spirals in my head." Santana looked up sadly, tears leaving dark and menacing tracks down her cheeks.
"And then I think: I just missed a second. I just missed something beautiful, like kissing you or hugging the girls. So, I hold your hand, tighter and kiss you longer. I stare into your beautiful eyes, Santana and watch the way that your thumb presses soft circles into my skin whenever we make love."
"But it's not enough." Santana cried burrowing deeper.
"It's never going to be enough, baby. We are always going to want more. So we give each other more, and we work from there." Brittany held Santana tight to her, letting all of their emotions come to a momentary rest before they rejoined the girls.
Brittany spoke first, "The girls want to play a board game, are you in?"
"Yeah," Santana spoke, using her whole hand to swipe, roughly at the tears on her face. Brittany replaced the tan fingers quickly, with her lips. Each kiss was healing and loving, and the girls smiled shyly at each other. "We should plan their birthday too."
"Sorry, Spencer" Brittany sang as she brought the plastic base of her playing piece against that of Spencer's.
Spencer looked hurt for a moment before using her clumsy fingers to pick up the scattered toy. She pushed off her knees and walked over to her mother, bending her head down and pecking her mother's cheek. She looked at Brittany with wide and pleading eyes.
"Now sorry?" She asked hopefully.
"Yes," Brittany laughed, pulling Spencer to the ground to tickle and kiss her ,"cheater."
"Nice try, bee." Santana added from where she lay on her side across the board, head propped up in her hand, Sutton leaning back against her legs.
"Don't teach her that." Brittany chastised half heartedly.
"Okay, queen of the pout." Santana shot back as she stuck her tongue out at Brittany, eliciting the same from her. She shifted her leg to softly bump Sutton, indicating it was her turn.
"Girls, what do you want to do for your birthday party?" Brittany asked as Sutton uncrossed her legs and left the warmth of her mother to roll the die and move her piece.
"Dinosaurs." Sutton said as she shifted away from the board, draping her body over Santana's in the haphazard, lazy, way kids seem to do.
Santana face twitched to the side in surprise, "Dinosaurs?"
"We learned in school." Sutton clarified her chin digging into Santana's hip with each syllable she spoke. This time Santana relished in it, hoping her muscles would remember the feeling, forever.
"Can I have Barbie?" Spencer asked.
"Barbie and dinosaurs, we can do that." Brittany answered, smiling.
"Is that dinosaur eating Barbie?" Quinn asked as she pushed open the gate into Santana and Brittany's backyard.
"We were a little tired and goofy when we were decorating last night." Santana answered, eyeing the cardboard, loosely stuck to the wooden fence. She had her arm loosely around Brittany, smiling back at her, remembering the fun they had.
"We were suddenly five again." Brittany chuckled, leaning into Santana.
"Speaking of, where are the cuties?"
"Interrogating Kurt's new boyfriend." Santana gestured, pointing back to where the two men stood, slightly intimidated by the children. Quinn quickly strode over, already laughing at her spunky nieces.
"Do you kiss?" Sutton asked, eyeing the men. Kurt's new boyfriend, Max, looked uncomfortable but Kurt answered honestly, already used to the Lopez-Pierce charm.
"Yes, you crazy."
"Uncle Kurt, does he like Barbie?" Spencer asked cautiously eyeing Max.
"Loves her."
Santana and Brittany watched their daughters for most of the party, partly entranced and in love, and partly engraining their soft, baby faces into their minds for a lifetime.