Everything Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer
The great beta switch of 2011…I have to apologize to everyone who is following my stories. After 40+ chapters of writing, I found myself having to make corrections. I have to admit, I was waiting for it. It was bound to happen sooner or later. Thankfully it wasn't the writing part that needed tweaking, it was the punctuation. You see, it all started with what I affectionately call 'the great beta switch of 2011'. Not only did I catch Lola in the midst of her packing for Honduras…Oh, yes, right on the heels of her California trip is her Honduras trip, so I am sure she had other things on her mind and I go and dump chapter 10 in her computer. So, where Lola and I missed it, my new Validation Beta (yes, I also got a new Validation beta at Twilighted), Strider caught it. Needless to say, Lo has NO computer access in Honduras (where she is part of a great group installing a water well for a community), so I tweeted, begged, and pleaded for a new beta and was pointed to the wonderful staff at Sparkly Red Pen. So, this chapter is dedicated to the following betas, all of whom have had a hand in its posting (finally)…casket4mytears, strider, latinalola, and J and D at Sparkly Pen. With 5 betas on the case, I hope it lives up to everyone's expectations. Thank you very much for sticking with me.
Mick
Chapter 10 - No Such Thing As A Black Swan
As soon as brunch was over,Bella attempted to clean her messy daughter by the kitchen sink. Tansy appeared clean but one sniff told Bella otherwise and she couldn't help but wrinkle up her nose.
"Ugh, she still stinks like peach juice and sour milk. I think I need to give her a real bath." Bella said the words to the only ones left in the kitchen, Edward and Esme and now Carlisle as he joined them after his morning rounds at the hospital.
"That's fine, Bella, why don't you use the bathroom upstairs? Edward and Carlisle can help me clean up down here." Esme shooed Bella out of the kitchen letting her know that there was no room for discussion. "Ask Rose if you need to borrow anything."
As she reached the top of the stairs, Bella hesitated. Holding Tansy, she stopped in front of Edward's bedroom door before actually entering it. She walked by it many times, but this was the first time that she'd be in it for any length of time. As the logistics started to hit her, she realized that she should have brought more of Tansy's stuff with her. According to Edward, they would have Tansy in the bed between them. She supposed she could ask Rose for a playpen or something but the way Edward left her feeling these days, it was better for both of them if her daughter safely lay between them.
She walked toward the small pile of bags on the chair and picked up the one that held Tansy's clothes. Balancing her daughter carefully, she pulled out a towel to wrap her in. After undressing her smelly child, she swaddled her in the towel before walking over toward the bathroom door. She knocked softly and was rewarded with a soft 'come in' from the closed door.
"Oh, Rose, I'm sorry." Bella was unsure if she should leave the bathroom or not. Rose sat on the closed toilet seat holding Emily to her exposed breast while Ethan happily splashed in a bath tub seat placed inside the bigger tub.
"No, it's perfectly fine, Bella, please come in and join us. I thought I'd be able to clean them before their feeding. Turns out, my timing is a bit skewed. After awhile, it just starts to hurt if I don't get to one of them quick enough." Rose gently smoothed down Emily's hair as she fed her. "Plus, I'm tired of ruining all of my good shirts!" Rose moved her other arm gently to not disturb the baby; Bella noticed there was two big wet stains on the front of her blouse. She couldn't help but laugh a little with Rose.
"I never thought of it that way. I admit I was jealous when I first saw you feeding them. I tried with Tansy. She latched on beautifully but once we figured out she had reflux, it is just easier to feed her through a tube. And especially with the medications she is on." Bella switched Tansy into her other arm, accepting Rose's offer to sit down on the edge of the tub and keep her company.
"Rose, when was the last time you took the twins to the doctor?" Bella looked over at chunky Ethan, just hanging out in the bathtub.
"On Wednesday, for their three month checkup. It really should have been sooner. I waited because they both had little colds and wouldn't be able to get their shots. Why?" Rose looked at Bella and followed her gaze to Ethan.
"How much do they weigh, any idea?" Bella couldn't keep the sadness from creeping into her voice.
"Oh, no you don't, Bella Swan. You are not getting sucked up into that. I'll tell you this much, because it's obvious. They are both bigger than Tansy. No more questions. Why don't you just put Tansy into Emily's bathtub ring next to Ethan? That way you won't have to wait until my princess here is done eating and finished with her bath." Rose was trying to be helpful.
Bella nodded and smiled as Ethan looked up at her and laughed. As she took the towel off and lowered Tansy into the tub seat, Ethan stopped splashing and lay back in his little seat. Usually an enthusiastic bath-taker, his calmness concerned Rose. She peeked around Bella at Ethan.
"Huh, usually he splashes like crazy, even when Emily is in there. It's nice that he doesn't splash her. I worried about that after I told you to put her in. It's like putting an angelfish in with a shark." Rose and Bella laughed as Tansy tried to turn away from Ethan.
"That's right,Tansy, you good girl. She's trying to be all modest in front of him." Bella could barely keep a grip on the slippery girl. "This is unusual for her,too. Usually she's very calm in the water and she's never this squirmy. C'mon,Tans, you're going to tire yourself out."
Bella pleaded with her daughter, then gave up and finally just turned the seat around so it was facing opposite of Ethan. "Sorry, big guy, but a girl's gotta have her privacy. You're never too young to learn that, right Rose?"
Rose and Bella were crying from laughing so hard. Ethan's face looked so sad; a mirror image of Emmett's when he was scolded. The baby looked so rejected. Flopping forward slightly, he hunched over in his seat as if to say 'what did I do', a perfect Emmett image.
"What is so funny in here?" Alice and Jasper walked in seeing Ethan in the tub with Bella holding Tansy in there.
"Oh my God, you shrunk Emmett!" Jasper laughed as he pulled out his phone to take a picture.
"I've seen that look before, too. Geez, it's like bad childhood memories all over again. Don't worry,Tansy, I never liked taking a bath with Emmett when I was little either." Edward laughed as he joined the small group gathering in the bathroom.
"Oh my, I'm gonna have to pee! I haven't laughed this hard in so long." Rose said, wiping her tears with one arm as Esme and Carlisle came running into the now crowded bathroom.
"Is everything alright in here?" A worried Esme looked over at Rose for reassurance as Carlisle started laughing while looking at the tub.
"They're fine Esme; I believe Ethan has just had his first rejection." Carlisle put his hand up to his face to stop his laughter as everyone in the now crowded bathroom erupted into fits again.
Esme began joining in as she looked past everyone and saw Tansy, calm now that she had her back turned to Ethan, playing happily in the water by herself with a grumpy looking Ethan right behind her. Just then, the last family membernot includedwalked into the bathroom to see what was going on.
"What's going on?" Emmett took one look into the tub and swore loudly, earning a glare from Esme. "I've been cloned!"
Bella rocked back on her heels as she collapsed on the bathroom floor, grateful for the plush rug in front of the tub. It seemed to her that all the excitement in the bathroom may have made Tansy get pretty excited and she began breathing more heavy than Bella would have liked. Not wanting to be the buzz kill, she quickly washed and rinsed her daughter, grateful that Emily was done nursing and Rose now needed to finish up her bath.
As the excitement settled down, Bella became overprotective of Tansy. She held her daughter close while stepping into Edward's bedroom, leaving the crowd in the bathroom. She knew she should have kept her calmer, but she loved the normalcy of being wrapped up in Edward's family and just being normal. Edward came up behind her as she set Tansy on the bed. He held a diaper out to her then left the room. Bella wasn't sure if he was being observant or if he just didn't want Tansy to wet his bed. In any case, she took it gratefully as she asked Edward to get his father.
Carlisle entered the room glancing at Bella and her daughter.
"Carlisle, do you have your stethoscope handy? Would you mind terribly if I asked you to listen to her lungs to make sure they are clear? I don't want to worry everyone but I think she may have overdone it in the tub. I just want to make sure she's not getting sick." Bella put on a dry diaper and wrapped Tansy in the towel as she picked her up.
"Well, I am no expert, oh wait, yes I am." Carlisle laughed easily at his own joke, trying to put Bella at ease.
"I'll get my bag and come back up in a few minutes; less alarm to everyone if no one else sees." As Carlisle left the room,Bella put her head down to try to listen to Tansy's chest. She was greeted by Tansy's fists flailing into her hair and pulling at it wildly.
"Oh my word, you sure are getting strong. That actually hurts you little monster! I'll show you to pull mommy's hair." Bella blew raspberries onto Tansy's chest and once she started laughing, the baby let go of her hair as she giggled, and wheezed, showing Bella that she was slightly out of breath.
As Bella smoothed her hair away from her face and straightened up, she noticed that Tansy was arching her back and kicking her legs frantically. She scooped her up immediately, not wanting her to continue to exert herself so much. She placed the baby on her shoulder and was calmly walking her around Edward's bedroom, which is how Edward found them when he walked in five minutes later.
"Is everything alright?" He crossed immediately to Bella placing his hand on her back in a small, comforting gesture.
Bella nodded to let Edward know that everything was alright as Tansy turned her head to the sound of his voice. With her daughter tucked almost directly under her chin, Bella didn't see the exchange between the two of them. Tansy smiled at Edward as she jammed her thumb into her mouth. Edward placed his other hand on Tansy's back and marveled as the baby's pretty brown eyes fluttered closed.
"She's so beautiful,Bella." Edward couldn't help but grin and touch Tansy's freshly washed wispy waves. If it was possible, her baby fine hair felt even softer to him than before. Edward shook his head and laughed lightly as it hit him.
"What is it?" Bella asked softly as she drew back from him slightly, careful not to leave his touch completely.
"I'm in love again." Edward said simply as he stared at her daughter in deep concentration.
"Why do I get the feeling that you aren't talking about me?" Bella laughed lightly and batted her eyelashes before smiling and kissing him. Picking up on his words immediately, words she knew he meant with her and again with her daughter. "Edward, I've fallen in love again, too." Bella whispered, not wanting to break the strange spell that came over the trio.
She knew that Edward understood her unspoken explanation as well as she did his. Her first time was with Jacob; her second time was with him. Just as he was about to lean over to kiss her back, Carlisle walked in.
"I'm sorry Bella, Esme asked me to get something…" Carlisle stopped when he looked over at the couple cradling Bella's daughter between them.
"Good timing,Dad." Edward smiled at Bella, their faces only a few inches apart, their eyes not breaking contact.
Bella broke the connection first. "I asked Carlisle to check Tansy. I don't want to risk her getting sick when we are so close to fixing her."
Bella moved to place her daughter on the bed before kneeling at the side so to keep her hand oh the squirming infant. Edward moved to the farther side of Bella, just wanting to stay close and not get in the way. Carlisle had his stethoscope in hand as he approached the bed and Bella noticed that he was rubbing the metal end between his palms in an effort to warm it up. She was touched by his concern and smiled at him as she wished that his specialty was pediatric cardiology. As he put the earpieces up to his ears, he held the opposite end out to Bella.
"Breathe on it…for luck." Bella did as she was told and once satisfied it was warm enough, Carlisle put the earpieces into his ears and leaned over to listen. He moved the bell end around her upper chest then flipped her over onto her tummy so he could repeat the movements on her back. He took his earpieces out after briefly checking both sides. "Bella, have you ever been taught what chest sounds to check for?" Carlisle looked over at her.
"No, I usually take the expert's word for it." Bella got a smile in return for her inside joke with Carlisle. Taking an alcohol swab from his bag, Carlisle wiped down the earpieces. He offered them to Bella who managed to give him a panicked look.
"You're not going to hurt her." Carlisle encouraged as she took them and slowly held them up to her ears. She followed Carlisle's example by offering the opposite end to Edward.
"For luck?" She asked, handing it out to him. She blinked away her tears as Edward kissed the metal circle.
"For love." He whispered softly, knowing that Bella would hear it echo into the earpieces.
Carlisle, satisfied that Bella had them in her ears properly, held his hand over hers as she moved it from place to place on her daughter's chest and back. Carlisle took one earpiece out of her ear to talk to her.
"This is what a normal chest sounds like Bella. There's no congestion in her lungs; just a clear heartbeat, although slower than a normal pediatric heartbeat. Memorize her sounds Bella, this is the easiest way to tell if something is wrong.
If her chest is this clear, she's fine. You should hear nothing except a clear beat. Anything otherwise and you should be concerned." Carlisle took back the stethoscope from Bella and cleaned it thoroughly with a few more alcohol wipes. "If at any time this weekend you want to use my bag, or want me or Edward even, to check for you, my bag is always in the hallway. Just grab it and if you think you want me to check, have someone come find me. But first,grab the bag and check yourself. Do not waste time trying to find an expert, okay?" Carlisle hugged Bella as she thanked him. "I'll see you two, or rather, the three of you, later."
The three of them glanced down at Tansy who had now closed her eyes and was obviously fighting a losing battle with Mr. Sandman as she lay on Edward's bed. Once Carlisle left the room, Bella launched herself into Edward's arms.
"Edward, that was the sweetest thing I have ever seen." Bella's eyes filled with unshed tears as she remembered Edward kissing the stethoscope in an effort to warm it up.
"Bella, please do not cry right now, I am emotionally unstable. I told you I need to make up the peach incident to her somehow." Smiling, Edward looked straight into her eyes. "I'm so in love with you, it's driving me crazy that you are going to be here tonight and I can't even touch you because I don't want to hurt you.
I know you loved Jacob and that you would still be trying to make things between the two of you work out if he didn't leave. But know this Bella, he is gone. Once you are finished healing and once Tansy is finished healing, I am going to be there for you, for both of you, forever. For now, I am just going to have to deal." Edward leaned over to give her a kiss and instead growled as Alice's laugh came from the doorway. Edward and Bella looked over at Alice and Jasper standing in the doorway.
"You two do realize that you have an audience,right? And before you get mad at me, look over at your bed,Edward." Alice leaned into Jasper as they laughed softly together.
Bella and Edward looked over at his bed. There on her back, waiting patiently for her turn, Bella's daughter lay with her cheek pressed up against the soft comforter. She had her thumb jammed into her mouth, and they could just make out a smile behind her hand as she stared at them with her beautiful brown eyes.
"What a little spy! She had her eyes closed not five seconds ago! I had Carlisle checking her." Bella said as an explanation. "She's taking after your sneaky ways Alice."
Turning, Bella scooped up Tansy and moved to sit on the chair in the corner of the room. She reached down to the diaper bag at her feet and pulled out a small outfit to put on her.
"How does naptime sound?" Bella tried to make it sound more exciting than it was, but she knew that with the bath and all the excitement it would probably be a good thing for Tansy to rest.
Edward leaned casually over the bed and started arranging the pillows in the middle. He formed a large square before looking over at Bella.
"Do you think she'll roll much?" He asked her seriously.
"Are you sure your parents won't mind us sleeping in your bedroom with you?" Bella asked uncertainly earning a snicker from Jasper and Alice.
"Bella, if they would have minded, do you think Alice would be hanging out in my pajama top? Please. As long as everything is consensual they aren't going to mind." Jasper reached over and made a grab for Alice before she could get to the chair where Bella sat.
"I just don't want to give anyone the wrong impression about us. I know your mother would love it, but I don't want anyone to get their hopes up that we may be leading toward something else right now." Standing with her daughter she walked to the bed before gently placing her down, already half asleep.
"I think my whole family would love it,honestly. It would give them something to hope for." Edward came up behind Bella and put his arms around her waist as he rested his chin on her shoulder.
Noticing that they were now alone in the room, Jasper and Alice having left without a word, Edward leaned closer to Bella's neck and kissed her softly before pulling her backward out of the room. Only Bella's tug made him stop and he watched with a smiled as she dug around in the diaper bag to pull out the baby monitor to set it up while they were downstairs helping Esme with dinner.
The rest of Saturday passed in a blur. Before Bella knew it, she was facing a family game night with Edward's family. She hated the fact that their weekend was slipping away so quicklyand she found it hard to concentrate on playing. She didn't want the weekend to end.
She looked over to where Jasper was holding Tansy on his lap. The way he was trying to keep her in a sitting position while supporting her wobbly head and arms made Bella smile. Every so often he would run a hand through her baby soft curls to draw them away from where they flopped onto her forehead. Bella smiled again at her next thought.
Jasper would make such a good daddy, so attentive. Straightening up, she glanced over to Alice who was staring at him adoringly. She had obviously caught the gesture as well. Bella couldn't be happier for her friend, Alice deserved some happiness and by all accounts, Jasper now made that his mission in life.
Breaking her gaze away from Alice, Bella's next gaze was at Edward. He was sitting next to her looking slightly uncomfortable as he held a very active Ethan on his lap. Bella smiled to herself, not wanting to break the spell and really not paying attention to the card game in front of them anyway. She threw a few cards into a pile and figured she must have done something right because Emmett was now taking a turn.
"Switch!" Rose called out and everyone passed the baby they were holding to the person next to them. Edward quickly handed Ethan over to Bella.
"Whoa, this is different. I hardly ever get to hold Ethan." Bella laughed as he launched himself up and down on her lap, trying out his chubby legs.
"It's different than holding Tansy or even Emily,isn't it? He's a squirmy one and just won't sit still. He's a whole lotta baby!" Rose laughed as she watched Bella try to keep a rein in on Ethan.
Bella lifted him up by his armpits allowing him to try to stand in her lap. This seemed to do the trick as he stopped squirming and let his chubby legs support him a bit before they collapsed. He went from one foot to the other and then tried to use Bella as a springboard for jumping. Once he settled in, he just stood in front of her, perfectly content to just try out his legs.
"Okay, I guess I'm out the next hand. You guys play around me, not that I was paying attention to the game anyway. He just wants to be in the middle of everything. He's so nosy." Bella laughed at Tansy's expression when she looked over at her holding Ethan on her lap.
"I wish I could read babies minds to know what they are thinking. Right now, Tansy doesn't look happy that I'm holding you,Ethan." With perfect timing that would have put even Emmett to shame, Ethan blew raspberries across the table. Bella looked over to the quieter side of the table where Carlisle was holding Emily. She watched as Emily grabbed for the cards that Carlisle was holding out in front of her.
"No, no sweetheart, we keep those, here, let's get rid of this and which one do you think we should keep?" Carlisle was seriously letting his granddaughter play his hand. Rose laughed as Carlisle took Emily's opinion and ditched the card she grabbed for. "The little lady says get rid of it, we get rid of it. Give us two cards Emmett." Carlisle reached for the cards from Emmett, adding them to the ones in his hand.
The hand went around and Carlisle kept consulting Emily's advice on the cards all while talking to her softly through the different hands. When everyone showed their hands, Carlisle laid his down in front of Emily "See Emily, this is the straight flush I was telling you about; all five cards have to be in order and they all have to be in the same suit. Nine-ten-jack-queen-and king." Emily looked smug and Carlisle reached over for a sip of his beer as he noticed everyone around him staring with their jaws dropped open. "What? We won?" He set his beer down and high-fived his baby granddaughter.
"Definite baby switch!" Called a losing Emmett as he tossed the rest of the deck he held onto the table. Everyone laughed but no one made an effort to switch babies. The next hand was never dealt either as everyone just sat around the table talking.
Bella couldn't remember feeling so relaxed or involved in a group. Everyone was just having fun hanging out. Drinking a little just enough to relax, but not to become belligerent, like some of the regulars at the bar. Talking just enough to joke, but not so much to make fun of each other, at least not seriously.
"So, what are our plans for tomorrow? I hope the weather clears up, but we should have a backup plan in case we get stuck indoors." Alice was making faces at Tansy across the table as she spoke.
"I say cookout,no matter what. Carlisle doesn't mind grilling with an umbrella,do you dear?" Esme looked over at him lovingly.
"Been there, done that." Carlisle said,nodding his agreement.
"What do we cook for said cookout? How about not burgers and dogs – we are going to start turning into them, it seems like we have them so often." Rose complained.
"What about shish-kebabs? We have plenty of vegetables leftover from um, dinner." Bella almost said farmer market before she caught Edward's glare that clearly said 'don't go there', knowing it might set off Esme again.
"Sign me up for more spaghetti squash,Bells. Are you sure that was healthy? I could eat that shit every single day." Emmett nodded approvingly at Bella as he said it.
"It was just a squash microwaved and after you scoop out the insides you add salsa on top. You could use ketchup or spaghetti sauce, but salsa is better for you and adds fewer calories." Bella playfully patted her barely rounded belly.
"How did you get so interested in cooking,Bella? The only things I can cook are opened using a can opener." Rosalie laughed.
"Well, growing up, if I didn't cook, I didn't eat. Believe me there was a lot of trial and error. I spent almost an entire year with Renee eating nothing more than beans on toast. It was just a job that became a hobby. I enjoy it now, but as a kid, I hated having the responsibility dumped on me.
Okay, I agree with Emmett now, definite baby switch – Ethan knows how to wear a person out!" Bella handed Ethan off to his daddy and put her arms in front of her.
Strangely enough, in the moment of silence that followed her statement, Bella glanced around seeing that no one needed to just fill the room with mindless chatter. Everyone was sitting quietly and just enjoying each other's company. Of course it didn't last long once Edward cleared his throat.
"By the way,everyone, the fundraiser at the bar is May 30th." Edward announced, glancing around the table to make sure everyone heard him.
"Oh yeah, Seth has everything ready to go except the fliers. Not that we really need them, it's mostly word of mouth but he still wants to put some up. But believe me please when I say you do not have to go.
"Rose, I know the babies can't be in the bar section, but if you want to bring them with, I will be keeping Tansy in the attached restaurant section – kids are allowed there. It's going to be $25 a person to eat and drink. Seth is setting up some sort of raffle. But he's not really telling me a lot of the specifics. I don't think he really wants me involved." Bella looked guilty.
"Why wouldn't he?" Jasper asked as he looked at Alice just in case Bella decided to go her normal route and either sugar coat something or else ignore it completely.
"Well, you know he's a distant cousin of Jacob's. I think maybe he, and maybe even some of his family members, feel guilty about Jacob not wanting to be involved in Tansy's life. But being honest, none of them,
save for Seth himself, have really done anything about it either. They've never contacted me to see how she is and I don't even know if they speak to him. As far as I know, Seth is feeding his relatives information, not Jacob." Bella finished lamely. "I wonder if any of them will show up at the bar?" Edward noticed that she looked worried.
"Who cares? We'll be there for her,Bella. And for you too if you need us. That's my future daughter-in-…OW, Rosie, stop hitting me upside the head!" Emmett managed to look hurt.
"Em, remember the little talk we had about your internal filter? Think it,
but don't say it, okay? You're putting a big responsibility on their shoulders. Just let it happen naturally Hon, they're still babies." Rose leaned over and kissed her husband.
Clearing his throat to cover up Emmett's faux pas, Carlisle addressed Bella.
"Bella, I don't have to work the rest of this weekend, but as soon as you get the fliers from Seth, I'll put up a few at the hospital if that's alright with you?" Carlisle looked over at Bella.
"Thanks Carlisle, that'd be great. Esme, as much as I'd love to give you a few, I'm afraid that having some of the people I use to work with would be awkward for me. I wouldn't mind you mentioning it to a few people, but I'd hate for anyone to think I was asking for their help, which is exactly what I am doing, but do you understand why I would rather you not take any to work?" Bella looked anxiously at Esme, not wanting to upset her, but hoping she realized that although neither woman worked directly for Victoria, they did share the same professional circle.
"Of course I understand,Bella. I'll mention it naturally, but I agree with you. I'll write down the information as soon as you give it to Carlisle and I'll mention it to those I see fit. Thank you for talking to me about it,dear." Esme looked deep in thought.
"On another thought, Edward agreed to babysit Tansy on Tuesday so I could finish the room. I'll be in there all day, but I don't want any interruptions. I'll need to really work hard at it to finish, but I am determined to get it done. I apologize for it being dragged out this long but I have had a few distractions." Bella looked meaningfully around the table at everyone.
"Actually, I thought it went pretty quickly. I haven't seen it recently, but I'm told only great things about it. I've seen Esme work on projects for months on end." Carlisle smiled at his wife.
"By the way, Carlisle, thanks for giving me Jenks number. I hope to be free of all the legal issues before the fundraiser. He seemed to think it wouldn't be a problem. I don't know how to repay you for that, but I'll think of something." Bella looked over at Carlisle gratefully.
"That's where you're wrong Bella. You're welcome, and we will leave it at that. There is no need for you to repay anything. In fact, after your phone call last night, I took the liberty of contacting him. I hope you don't feel like I am intruding on your case but we both agreed that if he can't get it through the system fast enough that we would talk to a judge we both know and push it through. The sooner Jacob Black is gone from your life, the better." Carlisle nonchalantly looked over at Bella to take in her surprise.
"Carlisle! You've done enough for me already! I feel so guilty accepting help like this." Bella begin to turn red and suddenly her mind became a jumble of emotions.
"That's nonsense. I had one issue that I feel strongly about and I took the liberty to correct it as I see fit. With Tansy's surgery coming up so fast it would be best if Jacob had no say whatsoever in her medical care. Think about it Bella, please. I have seen too many of these issues to just sit by and let one happen so close to my own home. I have seen parents that are in love and still together fighting over their children's care. The last thing anyone needs right now is someone who isn't involved in your daughter's life making decisions for her. I acted on it strictly from a medical standpoint and Mr. Jenks agreed with me." Carlisle hid his face behind his beer.
Bella stopped her rant before she even started. Carlisle was right, of course. She never thought for a moment about anyone else having a right to her daughter's care. The thought of Jacob now showing up and demanding that she stop her daughter's care frightened her and she was once again grateful for the Cullen family's involvement. She looked at Alice as she held Tansy and couldn't help but smile in relief as she realized that her daughter was safe.
"I never gave that a thought. Carlisle! Thank you so much!" Bella knocked over her chair as she scooted around the table to launch herself at Carlisle. She drew him into a big hug before she walked over to Alice and reached for Tansy.
As she walked carefully over to her seat, Edward reached out to grab her. He drew them both onto his lap as he kissed her gently on her cheek in front of everyone.
"Tansy Elizabeth Swan." Bella almost whispered the name, the realization that she would be changing her name hitting her full force as she remembered Carlisle's warning. "You are Tansy Elizabeth Swan." Bella smiled at her daughter as she nestled herself back against Edward's chest. "You know, it fits her better. This is Tansy Elizabeth Swan!" She said again, getting everyone's attention and saying the name, as if introducing her to them for the first time.
Edward leaned into Bella's neck and kissed her softly. "When this is all over for you sweetheart, you will both be Cullens." He said quietly for only her to hear.
Bella shivered and allowed herself a moment of daydream as she thought to the future. Would she be changing her daughter's name to Cullen one day? She felt so flustered by the thought that she broke away from Edward's embrace, afraid he might somehow hear her little fantasy. She settled back on her own chair and leaned over to give Edward a reassuring kiss.
"Getting back to the fundraiser," Alice clearly wanted to break up the knot of tension that had filled the room, "did you return Seth's call yet?"
"Not yet. I guess I should since the date is right around the corner." Bella made a show of checking her pockets for her phone before coming up empty. Alice slid her own phone to her across the table. "Use my phone,
Bella." Bella picked up the phone and scrolled through the contacts until she found Seth's number, knowing it would be stored there.
"Yo, Al. Everything alright?" Seth asked as he answered the phone.
"Hi Seth, its actually me, Bella, not Alice. I am just using her phone. I was just wondering if you made out the fliers yet?" Smiling, Bella put the phone on speaker and placed it on the table after she saw everyone gesture encouragingly around the table.
"Uh, hang on a sec." There was a moment of silence before muffled voices came through the phone. Everyone looked around as they wondered what was going on that Seth couldn't talk. "Sorry about that. As a matter of fact, no. I have them made up but not printed yet. I'm going to the 24 hour printing place on my way home tonight. Unless I can con one of the deadbeats here to do it."
Knowing a few of the regulars at the bar had Bella and Alice snickering at the thought.
"Well, I'm glad you didn't print them off yet. Um, here's the thing. By the time this takes place, Tansy's name will be legally changed to Swan, so I was just thinking that to avoid confus…" Bella didn't finish as she heard someone yell in the background.
"What the fuck, Isabella, take me off the goddamn speaker phone now!" A gruff voice snarled into the phone.
Bella fell back into her chair as she clutched her daughter tightly. She felt as if she had been physically slapped. She hadn't heard Jacob's voice in so long, she felt physically sick. She looked down at her daughter, to see if there was any acknowledgement in her eyes that her daddy was on the phone, but there was none. Bella glanced around Edward's family, embarrassed for herself as she took in their expressions. Edward looked as if he might eat the phone itself. Bella picked it up as if it were a snake.
"Hello Jacob." She said his name quietly, her tears fell and she couldn't stop them as he continued yelling at her on the phone. She fell back into the helpless mess she was when he first left her in the hospital. She had taken everything he had dished out to her since then. He was always the one calling the shots and seemed to always have the ball in his court as he did so.
Bella lifted Tansy with one arm and gestured toward Alice, indicating that she should take her. Once she had her other hand free, Bella placed it over her mouth, hoping her soon to be ex husband wouldn't hear her cry into the phone. Bella thought she would collapse when she felt Edward's arms come around her. As she started to sit up straighter, she found her inner strength and cut him off. Her sadness gradually gave way to her anger as she cut Jake off.
"You listen to me, Jacob Black. This whole mess with her name and life is your idea. No, it wasn't anyone's business at the bar, but Seth is trying to help me and Tansy. So what? I honestly don't care how you feel; your first time back in town and you visit a bar, rather than to see your own daughter? It's the truth. I just received those papers yesterday; you need to talk to your lawyer,Jacob. It's not their business and I am sorry if that's how you feel, but like it or not, I still live in this town and they want to help, so I am going to let them. Just remember that this whole mess stems from your decisions. I'm hanging up now, Jacob." Bella closed the phone and put her head down on the tabletop, relishing in cool comfort against her cheek. She closed her eyes, begging the tears to stop before she felt even more foolish in front of Edward's family.
"We're here for you, Bella." Edward rubbed Bella's back soothingly.
Bella just nodded, her cheek stuck to the tabletop by the wetness of her tears. She wouldn't have thought it of Jacob in a million years, but it seemed as though Carlisle verbalizing the words may have made Bella's worst fear come true. Jacob, as her daughter's legal parent, did have a say in Tansy's medical care. She shuddered at the thought of Jacob pulling the strings in her life, making her and Tansy both dance to his tune. Then Carlisle's voice returned in her head. Making her realize what she needed to do.
Picking up her head, Bella's first glance was in Carlisle's direction. "Thank you Carlisle, for thinking of me. I think if it's no trouble, I'll be speaking to Jenks this week and seeing what can be done as soon as possible." At Carlisle's nod of acknowledgement, Bella turned to face Edward. "And thank you for not saying 'it's going to be okay, Bella'. I know it will be in the future, but right now this just sucks. It helps to know that I have people on my side."
As Bella's glance went around the table, she caught everyone nodding in agreement and where her eyes held sadness, their eyes all reflected a fight. Emmett himself looked like he wanted to just pound on something.
"After that call, I feel like going to a certain bar and taking care of some business." Emmett's fury showed through his features, flaring nostrils and wild eyes. Bella smiled sadly at the big bear of a man, wanting so desperately to help a child that was not even his own flesh and blood.
"Emmett, we have to do this Bella's way. Carlisle is right. The first person we all need to think of is Tansy and her medical care." Edward smiled weakly at his brother. "We do this Bella's way."
Edward scooted his chair back and turned it slightly sideways before pulling Bella onto his lap.
"Thanks, Emmett. Believe me, there are times when I wish I could get to Jacob in a dark alley. It wouldn't solve any of Tansy's problems, but it sure would help me feel better." Bella reached for the tissue box Esme was sliding her across the table before she settled against Edward's chest. "I know you all only heard half of the conversation, but the other half was basically Jacob yelling at me for involving the guys from the bar. I didn't know he'd be there. Why would Seth give him the phone?"
"More likely that Seth had you on speaker also and he probably took it from him. Bella, are you alright?" Alice looked very concerned as she handed Tansy over to Jasper and came to Bella's side, kneeling as she pet her head like she was comforting a dog.
"I'm fine, Al. Remind me to never use speaker phone again though. It just hurts. I don't care for myself, but not once, not even one time did he acknowledge her or ask how she is doing. Not once. He yelled about the fundraiser, about Seth and the other guys wanting to help. It just hurts! This is a child we created together. How could he turn something so beautiful into something so ugly?" Bella cried harder as she leaned into Alice's arms and Edward tightened his grip around her waist, not wanting to let her go just yet. When Alice's phone vibrated on the table it was Edward that reached for it first, everyone let him.
"Hello?" Edward's voice sounded harsh. "Hello Seth, this is Edward Cullen. Bella and Alice came over for dinner with my family. Hold on I'll ask her if she feels like talking right now, she's pretty upset." Edward held out the phone to Bella, holding down the mute button. "I didn't want to give him any more ammunition that Jacob might pick up on. I just told him dinner. There's no reason for them to know that you're staying over, but I think you can trust Seth."
Nodding, Bella sloppily wiped her eyes with her hands and straightened up from her slump into Alice's small body. "Hello,Seth. I'll talk as long as he is gone. I didn't realize that Jacob didn't tell anyone else what his intentions were. I received word of it from a lawyer just yesterday. I thought for sure he would mention it to someone there. I didn't realize that he stopped talking to everyone. Listen Seth, I had no intention of changing her name but it was part of the paperwork I received in the mail." Bella's voice caught in her throat. "Yeah, maybe that's better. Her first name's not common enough to be confusing to anyone that matters. No, don't do that, it sounds silly. Come on Seth, Black-Swan? It sounds grotesque and people will think we're trying to rip off the Natalie Portman movie. Just use her first name, that's fine. Thanks Seth, I appreciate everything you've done this far, you've been a great friend. Good night." Bella clicked the phone shut before looking at everyone.
"What was it, Bella?" Alice took Bella's empty seat next to her.
"He called from the office in back – Jacob's not allowed back there so I don't think he overheard anything more. Jake apparently made them all think it was all my doing, changing her name to Swan and wanting the divorce. Ridiculous because I just found out about it myself. He is barely talking to anyone there and keeps avoiding everyone. C'est la vie." Bella shrugged as if she didn't care and took a cleansing breath. "I told Seth to just use the name Tansy on the flier though, no last name."
"Good thinking Bella. It'll just confuse her. She'll be a Swan. A beautiful, graceful one. None of this Black or Black-Swan stuff." Alice made a face like she had swallowed a lemon, causing a slight murmur of laughter around the table.
"There's no such thing, you know." Edward drew Bella back against his chest and waited for someone to take his bait, and ask the next question. Esme unknowingly walked right into it.
"No such thing as what, dear?" Esme asked as she stood and began clearing the table of cards.
Edward shifted Bella on his lap to face him before he said it, wanting the impact of his words to fully hit her. "There's no such thing as a black swan." He said meaningfully as he gazed into Bella's eyes.
Bella's body reacted immediately as her brain comprehended Edward's words. Viciously she attacked his lips, not caring who was in the room with them. She felt an overwhelming need to belong to someone and if Edward was willing to claim her then she was going to be his. She was no longer a Swan, hadn't been since she married Jake. But now she no longer considered herself a Black either. Technically, she knew she was still a Black, but that was just semantics. With no real identity, she felt completely lost and began losing herself in Edward's kiss as it claimed her, grounded her, owned her.
She gasped for air before continuing the kiss again. She felt Edward's hands tangle in her hair as their mouths danced around each other, never feeling completely satisfied. She placed her arms around his shoulders and drew him in as close as possible without suffocating him and Edward knew the minute their lips connected that she was his. She stood and pulled him up to stand with her before saying good night to everyone. She briefly hugged and kissed Alice before collecting her daughter from Jasper and leading the way to Edward's bedroom.
As Bella sat in the armchair in Edward's room, she held her daughter tightly while talking. After their display of affection in the dining room, the group had broken up and decided it was time for everyone to go to bed. Bella blushed at the thought of what everyone else might be doing in their rooms. Chances were more than likely that she and Edward would be the only ones abstaining from sex that night.
Edward moved from where he sat on the bed and climbed behind Bella onto the back of the armchair. He tucked his legs down at her sides as his hands found her shoulders and he began easing the tension. She winced before moaning appreciatively at his touch.
"The thing is, I can barely even think straight these days. Just when I start thinking about myself and realizing that I deserve so much more, I hear Tansy cry, or my alarm goes off to remind me to medicate her, or I get an alert that she has a doctor appointment coming up. Then I feel so horrible because I realize that this is what I wanted. I've got her, but the doubt always seems to creep back in – did I make the right decision? Am I being selfish?" Bella leaned backward into Edward's embrace. He caught her easily, knowing that she wasn't looking for confirmation; she just needed to say things out loud.
"Lean on me whenever you need, Bella. I will be there to catch you. Only time will let you realize that." Edward leaned down and kissed the top of Bella's head.
Bella's body betrayed her as she leaned back into the chair and between Edward's legs. She was aware of the back of her head connecting with something that was definitely not part of the soft cushioned chair and bit both her lips to stop from laughing as Edward gave a small yelp. She stared straight ahead, afraid to move or make a sound. She was even more afraid to know exactly what part of Edward Cullen's anatomy the back of her head hit. She whispered an embarrassed 'I'm sorry' before scooting herself forward and off the chair altogether.
Clearing his throat, Edward followed Bella off the chair and stood with her in the center of his bedroom. "Maybe we should put her to bed?" Edward whispered softly as he embraced both of them together.
"Yeah." Bella responded breathlessly. She knew that nothing could happen between them tonight but it didn't stop her brain from sending her body conflicting signals. It was too soon, but he was so thoughtful. They had no protection, but he was so handsome. She had to think of Tansy first and foremost, but Edward was always there to help take care of her daughter too. She gave her fuzzy head a shake and decided to just get on with it. Then clarified the even fuzzier meaning with an added 'to sleep Bella, just get to sleep'.
"So, do you think she'll have enough room to roll around?" Edward asked as he led them toward his bed.
"She doesn't move around too much so she should be fine." Bella realized that she had a bigger problem to worry about than her daughter. "So, uh, you'll be sleeping in here with us?"
"Is that alright?" Edward asked her with his eyes darkening. He'd just assumed they would be in the same room. "I could sleep in the guest bedroom, I suppose. I'm sure Alice isn't using it."
"No." Bella was quick to veto that idea. She wanted him right here with her. "I just think I should warn you that I'm a pretty light sleeper as far as Tansy is concerned. I mean, we didn't sleep much last night at my place since we stayed up most of the night talking. But usually I hear a small noise and I am awake. See, I…um, have a tendency to, kind of talk. In my sleep. A lot." Bella turned from pale to deep crimson in a matter of seconds as she finished her explanation.
"I'm usually a deep sleeper. I am so tired from work I just sleep through everything. It shouldn't be a problem. For me, anyway. Unless you're worried about something else?" Edward looked amused.
"Well, if you should, hear something that might not sound right, could you please ignore it? I don't really have any control over what I may talk about while I am sleeping. Alice thinks it's funny, she even spent almost an entire night recording me. I made out a complete to do list and had a session with a client about not using too much chintz in a room. I also had a phone conversation with Renee and with my old boss. Just in case you hear something that doesn't sound right? I'm apologizing in advance." Bella lay Tansy down in the middle of the pillows before reaching for her own overnight bag.
"All is forgiven ahead of time. Are you sure this is going to be okay?" Edward, ever the gentleman, gave her another opportunity to back out but was grateful when she agreed it was fine. Edward reached into his dresser and pulled out a pair of pajama bottoms and a t-shirt. "If you want to change in here, I'll go change in the bathroom."
"Okay, I'll stay here and use the bathroom after you." Bella nodded her head in approval.
"I'll lock the door on the other side then. If Emmett knows his side is locked he won't just barge in on you – one of the many problems of sharing a bathroom." Edward laughed as he locked the door.
After Bella changed into her pajama bottoms and tank top, she turned the lamp on in the corner near the armchair and killed the bright overhead light. Her daughter only slightly fidgeted in the bed and she thought maybe if the overhead light wasn't so harsh that it might help her sleep.
Once Edward came back into the room, she went to brush her teeth. She could hear Tansy start to whine and all too soon it became an all out cry. Bella finished scrubbing her teeth quickly and joined Edward back in his bedroom. She found Edward sitting on the bed, moving his hand in slow circles on Tansy's back while softly humming to her.
"Nothing is familiar, I'm afraid. She's never slept anywhere other than her crib at home or a hospital bed – and usually when she's there she's drugged so she doesn't know the difference. I'm sorry, Edward; I'll go sit with her in the other room so you can get some sleep. I don't want her to keep you awake or disturb your whole family." Bella scooped up her daughter and went to reach for the baby blanket that she had draped over the foot board of the bed.
"Bella, tomorrow is Sunday, it's Mother's Day. No one is working this weekend. Just sit with her here and maybe she'll settle in." Edward came over and took both of them into his arms. "Bella, you know why I fell for you?"
Bella stared dumbfounded into Edward's eyes. She reprocessed his words, giving her mind time to catch up and afraid that she misunderstood him among her daughter's noise.
"You always put everyone before yourself. With you, what I see is what I get. You have no false pretenses, no games. You don't realize it, but from a man's perspective, that's very sexy. To know that you're not hiding behind anything or making yourself into something you're really not. You're completely comfortable in your own skin and you make no excuses for it." Edward placed one arm under Bella's, helping support her daughter as he reached the other around her. The three of them rocked slowly for a few minutes until they were sure that Tansy was asleep.
"Maybe we should try laying her in the bed again?" Bella whispered.
"On the count of three, follow my lead, okay?" Edward nodded his head toward the bed.
Silently mouthing the words, he counted to three and they moved as one, placing Tansy directly in the middle. The baby promptly jammed her thumb into her mouth and began to slowly suck.
"If she's sucking her thumb, she should be good for the night." Bella laughed lightly and turned to Edward as she tried to smother her yawn. "Want to finish this dance?"
"I'd love to." Edward took her into his arms and they pressed together close. After moving together for a few minutes, Edward led her over to the chair, not wanting to disturb the baby. He pulled her down into his lap and rubbed her back gently as he pulled her close for a kiss.
Bella kissed Edward back eagerly. She couldn't deny how attracted to him she was. It was just the feeling of being loved, of being needed for something. Sure, Tansy needed her, but it was for basic needs and survival. Edward didn't really need her at all. But he wanted her. He wanted her enough that it didn't matter to him that she was technically still married, or that her daughter with another man was asleep across the room. Bella pushed all these thoughts out of her mind as she and Edward continued kissing and exploring one another's body.
"Bella, are you sure about this?" Edward whispered the words as he reluctantly pulled away. "I'll tell you right now that I will not sleep with you tonight, but I can control myself enough to know that right now, I just want to be close to you. Are you comfortable with this, for now?" He asked her, almost pleading with her to let him continue kissing.
Bella searched into his eyes for something she thought she saw flicker in there. Yup, there is was again – desire. He wanted her; bad enough that he was willing to wait for her. She let all thoughts of reason go and threw out all her doubts and caution away as she leaned into him and whispered to him.
"Shut up and kiss me goodnight, Edward." As he tightened his grip around her he pulled her into his lap and turned her so that she was lying across him with her legs dangling over the arm of the chair. This is how Alice and Jasper found them the next morning.
"Wow, Jasper. I may be bigger than Tansy, but at least I don't take up the whole bed!" Alice's too cheerful voice had Bella squeezing her eyes closed in a useless attempt to make her go away.
"Go away, Alice. Come back in the morning." Yawning, Bella turned her head back into Edward's shoulder as he gripped her tighter on his lap.
Jasper's laugh caused both Edward and Bella to groan as he obviously went to pick up Tansy.
"Come here, munchkin. Wow, you kicked both adults out of the bed with you last night. I'm impressed, little one." Jasper reached over and handed Tansy to Alice who had already picked out her outfit for the day. He walked over to where Bella and Edward still slept curled up in the armchair. "Wake up, you two. We are stealing Tansy for a while so if you want to stretch out on the bed for a bit, feel free. Who would have thought that a tiny little baby would kick two grown adults out of a queen size bed?"
"Come on Jazz, let's leave the lovebirds in peace. You two can join us whenever you're ready. Bella, I'm taking the diaper bag so I can give her the meds. Oh hell, you two aren't even listening to us." Alice pouted as she and Jasper left with Tansy curled up on her shoulder.
"Are they gone yet?" Edward asked, shifting Bella more comfortably on his lap.
Bella opened one eye before responding. "Yeah, but that was so wrong. I should have woken up. I feel horrible. I just knew it was Alice, and I know when I am at home if Alice gets her in the morning it's okay. I don't usually sleep this sound but we barely slept on Friday and yesterday seems like it flew by." Bella slowly stood up stretching as she looked longingly at the barely touched bed..
Edward put his hands out in front of himself and then rested them on his knees as he stayed sitting in the chair. "I don't know about you, but I can't remember the last time I slept that soundly. Speaking of sounds, though, you do make a great conversationalist when you are asleep. I was only awake for a little bit after you fell asleep but it was long enough to understand what you were talking about." Edward appeared amused.
"Oh no, what did I say?" Bella asked, flopping down on the bed as she covered her face with her hands.
"I'm not sure, but I think you were talking to Alice. I know you mentioned my name a time or two. Maybe a list of some sort – that part was mumbled." Edward stood and walked over to the bed then crawled in beside her. He scooted her over slightly and drew her against him, seeking the warmth from her body.
"It figures. I don't know how I get any actual sleep. I seem to get more work done when I'm asleep than when I'm awake." Bella unconsciously shifted her weight.
"Bella, please. I have self-control but it will only take me so far and when you move that way against me, well, I should say the more you move against me, the less self-control I'm willing to use." Edward leaned forward kissing her neck gently as he brushed her hair away.
"It's funny you should mention control, because lately I've been feeling very out of control." Bella sighed as she took in a deep breath. Sitting up suddenly as realization hit her. "I better get up and downstairs before Alice and Jasper tell everyone that they caught…" Bella didn't have a chance to finish before Edward interrupted her.
"Caught us what? Kissing? Sleeping in a chair? Come on Bella, we were fully clothed and there would be nothing wrong with it even if it were Carlisle and Esme that walked in. There was nothing wrong with what happened last night." Edward reached over and touched her arm gently.
"No, there wasn't and I'm not going to feel guilty about it. But I can guarantee that Alice will see nothing wrong with embellishing it a little either. By the time we get dressed and downstairs she will have us laying around smoking an after sex cigarette." Bella finished her rant then crawled over Edward to get out of the bed.
As she picked her clothes out from her overnight bag, Bella thought back to the night before and how much Jacob had rattled her cage. If her daughter's illness had taught her anything, it was to live each day as it came and not hold on to things that didn't matter. Jacob not wanting them, while it did hurt, really didn't matter anymore. Not when she had an entire family willing to step in and accept her just as she was.
Glancing back at the bed, Bella noticed that Edward never left. He lay on his side watching her, his head propped up on his arm. Seeing him smile at her for no reason at all gave her hope that the day was going to be better than the night before and she couldn't help but smile in return.