Disclaimer: As always I do not own anything Supernatural related! Kripke owns all!
AN: Sorry for the long wait, I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint!
Becky's eyes opened slowly as the first rays of sunlight came in through the window. She moaned and went to roll over to block the sun from her face. The pain in her side immediately reminded her of her surroundings. She had been kidnapped, tortured and was recovering at a safe house with the Winchesters. She closed her eyes and grimaced at the memories that came flooding back to her. She sat up slowly and wiggled her toes around before placing them on the cold hard wood floors of her bedroom for the past two weeks. Two weeks she has been cooped up inside of the old Montana house and cabin fever has official sat in three days ago. Despite all her begging Sam and Dean refused to let her go into town for the weekly supply run. She opened the door and walked into the living room and sat on the old red couch next to Dean.
"Morning Becks." Dean said casually.
"Morning." Becky stretched her legs out on the old coffee table and covered her bare legs with a blanket. She groaned slightly when she tried to shift her position. She was able to pretty much do everything on her own again but the pain had only faded from an excruciating 10 to a more bearable 6. Dean and she had fallen into a pretty normal routine, and despite the fact that he pretty much despised her he found himself getting used to her.
"Need some pills?" He asked after swallowing a mouthful of a twinky.
"Yeah, and the whiskey. Bring the whiskey." Becky replied.
Dean snorted and handed her the whiskey bottle. "Like I don't have the whiskey already out." He stood up and grabbed the medicine bottle of the kitchen counter and tossed it to Becky.
"Thanks Dean." She said nicely. "Where is Sam?"
"Still sleeping. Twinky?" Dean offered her the other one in the pack.
"Mhmm, breakfast of champs." She said sarcastically. She ate the twinky and took two vicodin, washing it all down with a nice shot of whiskey. "So, I was thinking before Sam wakes up we could talk."
Dean muted the tv and waited for her to continue. "I think its time I go home. I mean you guys have been more than amazing taking care of me for the past two weeks, and I know I didn't deserve it. So for that I'm eternally grateful but I should leave."
"Why the sudden urge to leave? And more importantly you know you and me have squashed our drama. As far as i'm concerned we started over with a clean slate, and Sam...well you know he's not mad anymore."
Becky felt the tears rush to her eyes. "Dean, I thought you'd be jumping at the chance to get me outta your space."
"Well at first yeah, but its nice to have a drinking buddy." Dean teased back grabbing the bottle from her hands. "Look, I think you should stay til you're able to get around better. Sure you can walk the 20 feet from your room to the couch but no way in hell you can even make it up the stairs to your apartment."
"Thats all true but come one Dean! You and Sam don't stop cause you're banged up."
"Yeah, but you're not a hunter. Me and Sam have been trained our whole lives practically to deal with this stuff, you haven't. You need to heal and take it slow. Plus I think sam might be butt hurt you want to leave."
Becky closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Well thats why I wanted to talk to you without him. I'm gonna need you on my side, which ironically i didn't think would take much convincing."
"Well you are shit outta luck, Rosen. I can't believe I'm saying this but you're not leaving."
Sam smiled as he listened to his brother and Becky talk for the past few minutes. He's heart started beating faster when he first heard Becky say she wanted to leave but felt instantly better when Dean pretty much shut her down. Over the past two weeks he has gotten to know Becky better, and he had to admit the thought of her leaving never crossed his mind until he heard her mutter it to Dean. He made his presence known by 'accidentally' running into the doorway.
"Sammy, rise and shine!" Dean said loudly.
"Dude, I'm already awake." Sam said as he walked over to the couch. Becky started to scout over so he could sit down when Dean stopped her. "Its cool Becks, I'm heading out for a bit. There might be a case a few towns over and I'm gonna check on it. Sammy, I'll call ya when I find anything out." He stood up and put on his signature brown leather jacket and grabbed the keys to the blue dodge, and walked out the door. Sam sat down next to Becky and smiled at her.
"How do you feel today?"
Becky shrugged her shoulders and gave him a small smile. "I'm okay, been worse, been better."
"Listen Becky, I overheard what you and Dean were talking about and I gotta agree with my brother. I don't think it's a great idea for you to be alone in your apartment."
"I just...ohhh, its not that I want to leave Sam. I just thought it was time to put on my big girl panties and fend for myself. You and Dean have cases to be on, and I know you have got to be sick of seeing me."
Sam shot her his puppy dog eyes. "Becky, its not like that. We don't mind having you here."
"How is that possible? I mean after what I did to you? God, Sam I am so sorry. I think about what I did everyday and it makes me sick to my stomach. I was so concerned with my needs, no not needs. My wants that I kidnapped you, and trust me after what happened to me...I'm just so sorry." Becky fought as hard as she could to keep the tears from escaping her eyes, but when Sam took her hand into his they feel on their own accord.
"Don't cry Becky, I know how sorry you are. You have told me everyday since you've been with us. I get it."
"No, you don't get it. You've never done something so awful to someone."
"You serious? Don't you remember the whole demon blood addiction, not to mention the whole 18 months I was walking around soulless? I tried to kill Bobby." Sam said softly.
Becky's eyes went wide and shook her head. "No, that wasn't you. You didn't have a soul and that doesn't count. You would never hurt someone if you were in the right mind frame. My crime was premeditated, I planned it out to a T. I got the elixir, went to Vegas knowing you would be there and waited for you. I'm a predator." Becky squeaked out the last part quietly.
Sam chuckled at her admission. "Predator? Really Becky? Stalker maybe but predator is really pushing it."
"I was just so lonely. And I thought if I could just get you to see me, for who I really am you'd realize that I could make you happy. Cause you make me so happy Sam. I just really wanted you."
Sam smiled at the confession. "I know, man when I was a kid I was so in love with Danielle Fishel I would have sold Dean to have her."
"The girl from Boy Meets World? Topanga? Really?" Becky asked.
Sam's eyebrows raised up. "Well yeah, I thought she was the most beautiful girl. Anyways the point is I can understand how you can get wrapped up in wanting to be with someone really bad. Up until two years ago you didn't even know I was a real person, I was a fantasy."
"You were my possibility, my dream man. But I know that is never going to happen. I know you don't feel that way about me, and I know you will never feel that way about me. Plus I mean hindsight and all I'm really glad we didn't...umm" Becky's cheeks turned pink as she continued. "You know do it, cause one that would be rape and two I probably would have died in the damn basement. You know cause every girl you sleep with dies." Becky said matter o factly.
"That's what I keep hearing, just so you know there are plenty of women I've had sex with and aren't dead."
"Sure there are Sammy."
"Hey, I'm serious!"
"Uh huh. I believe that you believe that."
Sam shot her an evil look. "You are hanging out with Dean way to much, he's starting to rub off on you I think."
"If only I was a Dean girl, I could have skipped all the druggin' and got straight to the fuckin'" Becky said and immediately covered her mouth with her hand, stopping herself from saying anything else.
"What's the suppose to mean?"
"Nothing, forgot I said that. Its all the booze and pills."
"Seriously?"
Becky let out a long breath and turned her body more towards Sam. "Okay, so I'm not like supermodel hot or even conventionally pretty but with Dean it's so simple. All I would have needed to do was bring him a homemade apple pie and tell him I was very bendy and poof I would have gotten him into my bed, or maybe the backseat of the Impala."
"I think you are very pretty Becky. Very girl next door." Sam said softly.
"That's sweet of you, but honestly if I was so very pretty I wouldn't of had to drug you into being with me."
Sam ran his hand through his long hair and sighed. "Becky it isn't like that. You're a good girl, a sweet girl. a very beautiful girl but I'm not on the market. The life I lead...well it doesn't allow for the things like a relationship, and you say if you were a Dean girl you would have just hopped into bed with him. I call bullshit because we were married and we didn't even get close to having sex. You're a good girl Becky, good girls can't just have unattached sex."
"Well you deserve more than just unattached sex too, you deserve someone who will love you even though it would be so hard to be with you. You're always on the road, knowing that everyday you could die, it would be so hard to love you. But you so deserve it and you once told me I would find the right guy and now I'm telling you, you will find that perfect girl for yourself. I'm just sorry more than anything I'm not good enough to be her." Becky said as tears filled her eyes, she stood up and walked into her room leaving a stunned Sam alone on the couch. Sam quickly stood up and followed after her, opening her door slowly he saw her sitting on the edge of her bed hugging a pillow.
"Becky...there is nothing wrong with you."
"Then why can't we be together? Why can't you just fucking love me?" Becky shouted.
"I don't know."
"What is it about me you dislike? I'm I not tall enough?"
Sam knelt down in front of her. "You're plenty tall, short girls are great."
"So its really just me? Its cause I'm such a loser."
"You aren't a loser, Becky you don't want to be with me. You have it all made up in your mind that it would be this great romantic story or something. Didn't getting torture teach you that this life isn't meant for you? Being with me would be a curse, danger would always be around the corner and one day you'd get yourself killed. Hell one day I'm going to get myself killed. Being a hunter my life expectancy really blows."
"Even if it meant I would die in some god awful way it would never be a curse to know what it feels like to have you. For you to love me would be a blessing. You are a hero, and real life hero and I would never regret having your love." Becky raised her chin and smiled. "You aren't a curse Sam Winchester."
Sam was at a loss for words, he was staring into Becky's eyes and the sudden urge to kiss her kicked into high gear. "Tell that to all my ex's." Sam offered sheepishly.
"Oh, that's all just bad luck. And some very careful scheming from some demons." Becky said pointedly. "And Madison was a werewolf and Ruby was a demon so they don't even count."
Sam laughed and tucked a stray piece of hair behind Becky's ear. "That's true." His palm grazed the side of her face and she bit her lower lip from the contact. Suddenly he was pulling her towards him and his lips touched hers in a soft and tender first, non-elixir induced kiss.
TBC...Hope you liked it! I know i'm cruel for leaving off with the kiss, but i'm a review addict so maybe i can update before monday!