The updates are coming so rapidly (for me at least) lol. Actually I've been feeling really depressed because I feel like my story is not good enough in terms of writing. I want to do better grammatically so that I can become a better writer. I got some horrible grades the other day-FAILING grades and that is something for me. I've actually only failed Art and that was because of a shitty teacher. I failed a Math End of term exam but that was because I was talking to myself by accident (I do that!) and they thought I was cheating. But a literature grade? Failing? I was like so fucking surprised and depressed. My mom was like so disappointed but as we were leaving the school we saw a bunch of other children and their parents saying that their grades had to be wrong. So I was like: OMG! This happened last year too! Maybe it happened for me! So my mom is checking that up. lol I think I'm blogging now.

Anyways, I realized that its hard for me to utilize my full potential for writing because I'm really good a descriptive writing but I just need a situation and most of the stuff your reading is made up as I type: P So give me advice on how to be a better writer and here are my replies to some reviews. Not all so please forgive me but there are some that I just don't really know how to reply to: P

Ashlin Raine: In my mind: I have this hilarious vision of Snape finding out due to some embarrassing situation and Harry running around in chibi-form screaming OH NOOOOOEEESSSS.

LIGHTNSHADOWS: I can't really answer all those questions yet but I'm glad to know that I have fulfilled my job of keeping you 'hanging'! I'm not really sure if anyone else has noticed but I have an issue in which I cannot write in a third person point of view and so I always manipulate the character narrating into someone like me. I'm trying to stop it because it's not a good tendency but I like the idea of Harry having tons of little secrets!

mrspotter16: I'm trying to make them longer…really I am!

GeneveRashkae: I hope you don't mind that he is OOC. Actually I'm not even sure if he is acting OOC! Lol

Disclaimer: My name is WHAT? My name is who? My name is NOT J.K Rowling…or Slim Shady…or is it?

Chapter 4 – Meet Brendan

When I came to, I was inside the hospital wing and the sunlight was seeping through the window curtains. Immediately I groaned, my head was spinning and the white walls and medical smell was NOT helping. I reached around, grabbing at the soft sheets below me before realizing that my glasses were on the desk next to me. I heard a silky chuckle and my eyes snapped open but everything was hazy until my glasses were handed to me.

Ron, Hermione and Snape were sitting down on the left side of me but they were all looking at the man on the right side of me. His brown and blonde highlighted hair and his hazy green eyes were the first facial features that caught my attention. They fit so perfectly on his slightly rounded face and his tall masculine body. I could smell smoke faintly and it was only then that I focused on his pink curved lips that quickly pulled in a silver lip ring only to release it again. He hadn't changed at all.

"Brendan," I breathed. We hadn't broken up to say really, but after Brendan moved to the states we stopped talking. It hadn't bothered me since I had found my affections for Snape unbearable at the time. The lack of conversation gave me a chance to breath.

"What's up shorty?" he asked in a voice almost as silky as Snape's.

"C-C-Ceiling," I said adding a nervous chuckle at the end. I have always answered his questions like that.

"Aren't you going to introduce me?" he said slowly, looking pointedly towards my friends.

"O-oh Yeah. Umm… Guys this is Brendan. Brendan this is Hermione, Ron and…" I paused thinking about whether I should introduce him as Professor Snape or as James Snake.

"James. My name is James," Snape said stiffly. His onyx eyes were narrowed slightly and there was a small flash of annoyance in them.

"Oh…I see," he said in that knowing voice. Hopefully he didn't see anything! The last thing I wanted was some stupid love triangle!

"Of course you do Brendan, you're not blind!" I said chuckling. I ended up couching and reached over for some water but instead Brendan held it out to me, helping me swallow it down.

"Hey guys. Could you give us a second?" I asked after I had finished drinking.

I saw the look on Ron's face but dismissed it saying that I would tell them later. Once everyone had left I turned to Brendan and gave him a bear hug.

"It's been ages since I've seen you!" I wanted to sound angry and betrayed but I could only feel relieved and happy and the feelings scared me.

I didn't love Brendan anymore. I couldn't! What Brendan and I had; that was special but that was all it was! We were just two boys trying things out and testing the waters. All I was worried about was if Brendan didn't think the same as I did.

"Hey, Harry. Let's start over. I'm not saying to ignore what we did but-" Brendan started, immediately dismissing my anxiety.
"Yeah I got it. What we were is just that. A 'were' and a 'was'. Not a 'now' and 'forever'," I said smiling at him.

It took a while but he grinned back and I fell back down on the bed. So now, we were JUST friends. I didn't need to feel like I was cheating on Sever-Snape. If I started to call his first name, which was an intimate gesture, the pain would increase ten-fold every time I heard him insult me.

"What's wrong short stuff?" Brendan asked.

I tried to ignore it and squash my urge to tell him everything but I realized that this was Brendan. We WERE lovers. We knew everything about the other. He had four years of experience on me and I was closer as a friend with him than with Ron or Hermione. I had only told them the basics: I like Snape but Snape hates me. They gave me support and I was extremely grateful for it but when it came to stuff like this, I needed advice and comfort. Brendan was the perfect person for that.

I broke down and told him everything, all the while staring up at the white ceiling as I went through my every thought and emotion.

After my talk session with Brendan, who had told me that the only thing I could do was to tell him, I headed back to the Gryffindor tower with my heart less heavy but my head an aching, swirling mess.

I felt Ron and Hermione run into me as soon as I entered the common room, bombarding me with questions. I told them to wait while I took a seat by the fireplace, resting my eyes and head for a few minutes before opening them to see Ron, Hermione and Snape in front of me. I didn't mind having Snape there, but at the moment I couldn't exactly tell them about the conversation I had with Brendan about Snape. I would tell Ron later who would tell Hermione and then everything would work out. So with a heavy sigh I told them.

"Brendan was my ex boyfriend who moved away and it's been ages since I've seen him. It was nothing really and before you ask, no, we are not a couple anymore. Just…friends," I paused on the last word like the feel of it on my tongue.

I had always referred to Ron and Hermione as my friends but I just felt sort of proud to call Brendan my friend. Almost as proud as I was when I had called him my lover. I suppose Brendan was like my brother in a sense. A twin. With that in my mind, the thought of the Weasly twins having a go at each other made me shift in my seat, uncomfortable and to my great horror, slightly aroused! Having Snape at my side was no help but I managed to focus on mental picture of Dumbledore naked. Then I found myself having to telling myself that it was just a picture and not a scary monster. Not only had my dick gone flaccid but also my mind was thoroughly worn out!

"Ex-Boyfriend?" Ron asked, mouth agape. Hermione continued, "You never told us!" she said, hurt.

"I'm sorry guys but it was a really personal thing and you know that back then I was more of the silent type!" I defended myself.

Ron and 'Mione both stared at me; blue eyes wide and brown eyes angry. Eventually they both sighed and relaxed before Hermione set her back straight, giving me a piercing stare.

"Did you tell him about your…new…interest?"

Could she be less subtle? I didn't even bother to hide my groan as I sat back thoroughly embarrassed with Snape sitting there, hearing everything!

'Yes," I said through gritted teeth.

"Good! Did he tell you why he's here?" she asked, dropping the subject.

My eyebrows furrowed. Why hadn't I asked him that? Wait! Why didn't he tell me why? "Probably because you didn't ask him you idiot!" a voice in my head hissed.

I opened my mouth to ask but Snape interrupted me to explain.

"He's the new potion's teacher and Horac- Professor Slughorn is the new Defense teacher," he said in a monotone voice before continuing to read his book.

"Oh…" I said lamely.

"Come on Harry, let's go eat!" Hermione said smiling as she got up.

"Alright," I agreed getting up, "Sna- James, are you coming?" I asked.

He nodded stiffly and got up, following us to the great hall. Dumbledore made the announcement of the new teachers. It was late because they had not arrived the day before.

I stared at Brendan and when he caught my eyes he chuckled visibly and held up noodles held together by chopsticks, smirking at me before eating his dinner. He always did like noodles.

Snape got up suddenly, excusing himself quickly and disappearing from my view. I stayed awhile before excusing myself too. Ron gave me a 'thumbs up' while Hermione just smiled at me knowingly. I rolled my eyes and headed after him.

He had already gone into the common room, changed and sat down in the bed opposite to mine.

"Umm…Snape? Are you alright?" I asked, trying to sound casual.

"Brilliant," he replied bitterly.

My curiosity welled and I had to force myself back from asking the question that would give me hope: Are you jealous?

As I took a shower, letting the hot, flowing water, course down my Quidditich toned body, I only told myself how arrogant I was. He probably just thought that the Chosen one had found an ally in the Professors and that it would go to my head. It would be odd, having my ex-lover and now close friend teaching me but it was something I could dwell on later. It didn't help to have both a heavy heart and head.
I slid down, turning the water off as I sat on the wet floor.

I truly wasn't even worth taking up Severus Snape's thoughts.

The next day went by quickly. Transfiguration was all right and I found myself laughing at Snape's comments. Apparently he didn't like transfiguration, nor was he good at it. His mumbled curses kept me going throughout the lesson and I almost got down on my knees to thank McGonagall when she old me to help Snape out.

I held his hand and taught him the proper way to turn a guinea pig into a chimera. I snickered the entire time listening to Snape go on about potions that could make a better looking animal.

After Transfiguration, we had Potions. It was even more hilarious watching Snape complain about Brendan. It was funny because he couldn't think of a proper insult and had to resort to childish petulance. I knew Brendan could hear because he chuckled every time he walked pass our table.

After the class was finished, Brendan asked me to stay back.

"What's up Brendan?" I asked before quickly correcting myself with a smirk, "I mean Professor Matthews," I said sniggering.

"Shut up shorty!" he said, laughing slightly.

I took a seat on his desk, ignoring his glare as I shot him a look that said, "Okay, you can talk…now." He rolled his eyes at my audacity before simply asking me to meet him after dinner. I nodded and left after a quick goodbye. I was STARVING!

I headed to the Great Hall, intent on spending the entire lunch mainly on eating and only faintly on talking. A boy with a messy mop of platinum blonde hair stopped me and I only raised an eyebrow.

"Is there something you want Malfoy?"

"First of all, call me Draco," he said dismissively. He looked like he had been running to get me. My eyes narrowed to slits as I took a step back from him, my hands fisting around my wand.

"Why?"

"You're hanging around with my godfather and I haven't even heard one-fucking-complaint!" he growled out.

"What the-" I started.

"No listen, it's not that I have to ask you about. Do not laugh Potter or I will break your wand…both of them!" he threatened.

"Yes…you were saying?" I waited for him to continue.

"I- I'm in- in love with Professor Matthews,"

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