Chapter 5

The day had been busy for Lucas, but well worth it. He had prepared a simple but romantic anniversary dinner at home for Peyton. While Peyton rested much of the day in bed, Lucas had dropped Aiden off at his mom's and then picked up the groceries he needed for the dinner he was going to prepare. Lucas had been so excited about the day that he had forgotten to pick up Peyton's favorite dessert from the café but a quick phone call to Nathan remedied the problem as the younger brother delivered the chocolate mousse cake, just as Lucas was taking the lasagna out of the oven.

The evening was perfect. The two lovers took their time, enjoying a quiet meal while they reminisced their long and sometimes complicated past. After a bit of dessert, Peyton had suddenly become tired but couldn't turn down a dance with her husband when he offered his arm. In his arms she felt safe and loved. She closed her eyes and rested her head against his chest, letting him sway her along with their song.

The flames in the candles that were lit throughout the room emitted a romantic afterglow as they danced just above the melted wax. Lucas continued to hold her against him. His eyes closed and his chin gently resting on top of the cloth cap that covered her bald head. As they danced he could feel her body leaning on him tiredly for more support and he knew that she was growing tired. Lucas pulled away, just enough to give her a quick kiss on the forehead. He gave her smile before he swiftly scooped her up into his arms and carried her over to the couch.

On the couch, they laid side by side with her head resting on his chest. Her body was tired, but she didn't want to sleep.

"What are you thinking about?" she quietly asked him.

Lucas chuckled to himself, "Do you remember the Christmas I wasn't invited to the cabin?"

Peyton was surprised and wondered why he thought about that time. But she did remember.

Flashback

Nothing but a vast whiteness could be seen on the road ahead of her. The trees and roads were covered with the blustering snow. It had been snowing nonstop since early that morning and seemed to be getting worse by the minute. Lucky for that lone black Escalade driving along the unplowed road, it didn't have much further to go. Driving cautiously, it seemed to maneuver through the snow and ice covered road with ease.

The windshield wipers were wiping as fast and furiously as the snow fell. The road ahead of her was barely visible. The car slowed as she kept her eye out for two old lampposts that marked her final destination. It had been years since she had been to the log cabin, but she remembered the lampposts as they were the only objects that weren't made by Mother Nature.

It had been almost four hours since she left her home in Charlotte, N.C. when she finally spotted the lampposts. The twenty year old smiled excitedly as the black SUV safely turned between the two lampposts and headed up the curving driveway toward the two story log cabin that was tucked behind a small forest of pine trees.

The snow covered truck parked out in front of the cabin let Peyton Sawyer know that she wasn't the first to arrive. She was spending Christmas with Nathan and Haley. They hadn't seen each other since she moved out of Tree Hill three months ago.

Spending a Christmas weekend at the cabin had become a tradition for old Tree Hill gang ever since Ellie had invited them up there. But this year was different; Rachel and Brooke were spending Christmas in California; Karen and Keith were out of town; Larry was at sea; and Lucas who was now her ex, wasn't invited. So only three of them would keep the tradition and this year, it was the way Peyton wanted it.

Two weeks earlier

"Haley, if he shows up, then I'm leaving. I don't want him there,"

"Peyton…its tradition," Haley sighed into the phone.

"Well, we're starting a new tradition – one that doesn't involve Lucas,"

"Just give him a chance,"

"Give him a chance…right…since when did you switch sides?"

"I didn't. I'm still Switzerland here…I'm neutral remember? Peyton, I still think that he's a stupid jackass, but he's been my best friend for years. I can't tell him he can't come,"

"Then, I'm sorry…I can't go,"

"Peyton, come on…"

"No, Haley. I can't. I can't see him again…ever. It just hurts too much. Why do you think I left?" Peyton paused. The last thing she wanted to do was to ruin their holidays as well, "Look, just go have fun at the cabin. My dad should be home in a couple of days anyways,"

"I thought you said your dad wasn't coming home," When Peyton didn't answer, Haley knew that Peyton was going to spend the holidays alone in a new town, "Peyt, just meet us at the cabin. I'll talk to Lucas,"

End Two Weeks Earlier

Blinded by the falling snow, Peyton slowly made her way to the front door as cold winds danced around her. Peyton set her small suitcase and bag of art supplies down as she stood in front of the door. Excited to see her old friends again, she knocked loudly.

She was busy dusting off the snow that had quickly accumulated on her when the door opened. Peyton looked up and finally saw him. Her mouth dropped in shock while her eyes blinked as she barely recognized the man standing in front of her.

It had been three months since she last saw him. His hair was a bit long and unkempt, like it had been in high school. A fully grown beard covered his face. From a distance she probably wouldn't have recognized him. But one look at his eyes and she knew it was him. His eyes never changed – always able to make her heart skip a beat every time she let her guard down. And for a brief moment it was.

"Hey," he softly greeted. Lucas suddenly saw her brow narrow at him. Immediately he knew her walls were back up.

"What are you doing here?" she asked bitterly.

He took a deep breath and was about to explain when Peyton's cell phone went off. Lucas watched the blonde fumble through her pockets for phone. Her blonde hair was longer, which now came down to her shoulders and like always, each curl was perfect but she was still the same Peyton Sawyer he had always known and had always loved.

The screen on her cell read "Haley Scott". With a tilt of her head and another glare at Lucas, Peyton seethed, "Excuse me, but I have a little yelling to do,"

Peyton pushed past Lucas and let herself into the cabin. Lucas let out a sigh before bending down to pick up her belongings.

"Tell me exactly why you're not here so I can kick your ass," Peyton greeted Haley on the phone.

"Oh…he's there isn't he?" Haley bit nervously on her lip and threw a look at her husband who was driving.

"Hmmm...what do you think? How could you not tell me, Haley?"

"Cause I didn't even know. I just found out," Haley tried to explain, "Lucas called Nathan the other day and told him that he was coming to Tree Hill for Christmas but since we were going to the chalet, Lucas would spend the Holidays alone,"

"Well what about Karen and Keith?"

"They went to Colorado,"

"Why couldn't Lucas go with them?"

"Umm…it was kinda for their anniversary…"

"So…Lucas is a big boy. I'm sure he sleep in a room by himself…"

"Peyton…He was going to spend Christmas alone. Nathan couldn't let him do that and honestly…I have to agree," Haley softly admitted, "Look I know things between the two of you is hard but I know you wouldn't want him spending Christmas alone either,"

Haley heard Peyton sigh in the phone. She knew she was right.

"When are you getting here?" Peyton started to give in.

"Nathan, where are we right now?"

"About two hours away," Nathan guessed.

"Peyt, we're about two hours away…maybe three. It's coming down pretty hard,"

"Yeah…you guys be careful out there," Peyton said sincerely.

"You gonna be ok?"

"Yea…I think I'll just stay up here till you guys get here,"

"Peyton…it won't kill you to talk to him a bit,"

"Hey, he's here and he won't be alone for Christmas but that doesn't mean that I have to talk to him," Peyton said firmly. It wasn't that she didn't want to talk to Lucas, it was that she couldn't. Seeing him again tore at her still aching heart. It was still even painful thinking about the good memories they shared and knowing that there wouldn't be anymore.

Downstairs Lucas was busying cleaning out the ashes from the fireplace. He never really knew how to start a fire until Peyton taught him how on that very same fireplace.

Lucas smiled at the memory that had re-kindled their relationship. Since then, they had been happy for three years, but just like that it was all gone. Lucas dumped the last of the ashes in the garbage. He tried to dust off the ashes from his hands, but it only smeared the black soot. It seemed so much easier watching Peyton do it. He wiped the sweat off his brow with the back of his hand, leaving a black smudge across his forehead.

"What do you think you're doing?" Peyton suddenly appeared at the doorway.

"Trying to get a fire going?" he was even questioning his own actions.

"No, all my stuff…" she pointed at her belongings that she didn't bring into the cabin, "you went into my car?"

Lucas looked over his shoulder to see Peyton standing beside her stuff. When he saw her art bag, he knew her easel and canvases weren't far behind. While she was upstairs, Lucas had gone into her rented SUV to get the rest of her stuff.

He shrugged and went back to tend to his ashes, "You're welcome,"

"Whatever…you know what? Just stay out of my stuff and out my way this week…in fact…"

"…just stay out of your life," Lucas finished for her. Unfortunately for him, he was all too familiar with those six words. It was actually seven words, but he omitted the expletive that she had used. They were also the last words she had said to him.

He stood up and faced her, but kept his eyes down on the floor. "I know…and I know you don't want me here either," his voice was soft I'll stay away from you if that's what you want…but can you at least help me start the fire?"

End Flashback

"It was the worst time of my life. Letting you go was the biggest mistake of my life," he admitted, "But that night was one of my best nights in my life,"

"Yeah…well we did a lot of things that night," she remembered.

Lucas laughed. "Yeah we did…But it was also the night I decided to ask you to marry me, you know,"

Peyton smiled as she listened to his soft and soothing voice as he finished telling his side of the story.

Flashback

Night had fallen and the younger Scott family still hadn't arrived. The snow outside was still blistering down. As the fire flamed from across the room, Lucas stood by the window. His head leaned against the cool glass while his eyes stared at the wooden stairs the led upstairs to where she was. He was hoping Peyton would come back down. Soon enough, Lucas heard the stairs creak and couldn't help but smile. Lucas quickly composed himself and repressed his smile as he averted his eyes out the window.

As she made her way down the stairs, the smell of the burning wood enveloped her senses. There seemed to be something about the combination of the smell of the hickory, the sounds of the cracking wood and the sight of the glowing fire that constantly reminded her of the past.

When she stepped off the last step, her eyes almost immediately fell on him. The cabin was dark but the light from the fireplace casted enough light on him to illuminate his face. Peyton couldn't help but notice the difference. The scruffy beard that once covered much of his face was now gone. A part of her sensed that he had done it for her; Peyton didn't like the full-grown beard on him. She had always joked that it was like kissing a shaggy dog. Regardless of what she thought, Peyton continued to stare at him for a second longer then she wanted to. She couldn't help it. Peyton had missed him.

From the corner of his eyes, he watched her as she made her way to the kitchen, which was adjacent to where he was standing. Suddenly, Peyton took a deep breath, which made him smile. She had picked up on another scent – his aftershave. The masculine scent of lavender and jasmine mixed with musk and sandalwood made up his Cool Water cologne; it was also her favorite and often times it put her in a different mood. Regardless of what she was thinking, she crossed the room to the kitchen in silence. Lucas missed her dearly.

Peyton was curled up on the couch with her legs pulled in. A white crochet blanket covered her legs. She slowly sipped on her hot cocoa as she watched the fire. Lucas watched her from across the room. He didn't move from his post since Peyton came down from her room. The last thing he wanted to do was to frighten her but her being in the same room with him had to mean something. Either she was tired of sitting in the bedroom alone or she was ready to talk. In either case, she was there.

Cautiously, Lucas made his way towards the couch, "Nate called. He said the roads are closed and they're staying over night in a motel," he broke the ice as he sat down on the couch.

An icy glare thrown at him told him that he had sat down too close to her. Hesitantly he scooted away, giving her some space back. Satisfied with the distance, she took another sip from her mug and turned her attention back to the glowing flames.

"I take you're still not talking to me,"

Silence.

"Well, good. Cause there's a few things I need to say. I screwed up. Simple as that and I'm sorry for everything I did and didn't do. I should have been there for you. I should have fought harder for you…I shouldn't have let you go,"

As he spoke, he inched closer. He could see tears that she refused to let go glisten in her eyes. Peyton wrapped the blanket around her tighter as she could feel him tearing down her walls.

"Peyton, I want to fix this…I miss waking up next to you. I miss washing the lipstick off your coffee cup…I even miss you hitting me in your sleep. I miss you, Peyton,"

Lucas rolled off the couch and kneeled down in front of her. He took her hands in his. With his eyes still on hers, he brought them up to his lips and kissed them. He then placed her hands on his cleaning shaven cheek. At the risk of moving to quickly, he leaned closer until his forehead rested on hers.

"I'll fight forever if I have to just to get it back…tell me what I have to do to get it all back…to get you back," he whispered.

"No more beards," she gave in.

Lucas nodded, "Done. What else?"

"Kiss me," she whispered back.

A happy grin escaped his lip before he obeyed her.

He barely slept at all that night. Most of the night was spent laying by the fire in each other's arms. Occasionally they would interlock hands and play with each other's fingers. Stolen kisses were also shared just because they could.

"Morning," he said happily.

"Morning," she replied with a yawn. "How long have you been up?"

"All night…I was too excited too sleep,"

"Still?" she giggled as her hand grazed his thigh, "Even after last night?"

He laughed, "Hey. I'm trying to make up for lost time," he joked, "Seriously, I couldn't sleep because I was afraid that this would all just be a dream,"

Peyton leaned up and gave him a kiss, "It's not a dream," she assured him.

End Flashback

"The moment you took me back, I knew I couldn't lose you again…" his voice trailed off. Lucas shut his eyes tight trying to fight the reality that was flooding back into their once perfect world. He began to worry when she didn't say a word. Lucas looked down at her and saw that she had fallen asleep.

Peyton's breathing was deep and regular. Her body was tired and desperately needed some rest. Along with the new cancer treatment her body was just too tired to fight the mutating cells. After carrying his wife to their bed, Lucas sat on the edge of the bed and watched her sleep peacefully. Even without her gorgeous blonde curls, she was the most beautiful person in the world.

Throughout the whole treatment, Lucas had been the strong one. Between taking care of the house, Aiden and Peyton, Lucas didn't seem to have the time to process what was really happening.

His hand caressed her cheek. He noted the dark circles under her eyes. Her skin was paler then usual. It was beginning to hit him like a ton of bricks. Lucas quickly withdrew his hand as tears began to well in his eyes. As fast as he could, without disturbing her slumber, he left the room.

Although the drive was short, he didn't remember how he got there. He just found himself standing in front of the familiar door. The porch light suddenly flickered on, startling a moth that had found a resting place on the fixture. With caution, the door slowly opened. When she finally saw who was pounding on the door so late at night, she quickly swung it open.

"Mom…" he choked out.

Almost immediately, the six foot man collapsed into the arms of the five foot four woman, nearly knocking her over. But with a mother's strength, she remained upright, holding her son who was crying uncontrollably on her shoulder. It was the first time Lucas had finally broken down since Peyton had told him about the cancer.

Karen's tired eyes opened with worry and sadness. He continued to lean on his mother his legs began to weaken beneath him. When she couldn't hold him up any longer, she carefully slid down onto the floor beside him.

"I…I can't lose her, mom," he muffled out through his tears. "It's not fair…"

"Shhhhh…I know, I know," Karen hushed him. She gently rubbed his back, trying to console him. She wished that there was more that she could say, more that she could to help her son and daughter-in-law.

A/N: Alright, so this chapter ended up being a lot longer then I intended it to be. It's actually longer but I made some changes but I"m sure you guys know what's going to happen next. Hope you're still reading this fic.