A/N: I own nothing except the vet and the kitten. A munchkin is a breed of cat.
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Kensi was nervous. She knew she had to tell Deeks why she'd been so moody and hard to get along with, but she was not looking forward to it. If it wasn't for Derry playing at her feet she would be up pacing, waiting on Deeks to get there. She regreted deciding to order chinese since she could use something to do with her hands. She tried playing with the kitten, and it helped, but she was still jumpy.
Deeks pulled up outside Kensi's apartment and took a deep breath. He knows Kensi doesn't like talking about herself, or her feelings, so he's not sure how tonight's gonna go. One thing he hopes will put Kensi in a better mood is he brought burgers, beer, and a toy mouse for the kitten. He prefers dogs to cats but the one he rescued is a cute one. Kensi heard Deeks pull up, and braced herself. She was as ready as she was gonna be to spill her guts. She just hoped Deeks wouldn't make too much fun of her.
"Come in!" Kensi hollered and let Deeks know it was ok to come in while she hunted the take out menu she'd chosen. She was surprised to see the kitten come prancing into the kitchen in front of Deeks, who was carrying beer and food. "You didn't need to stop and get something, Deeks", Kensi told him. "I know how you are when you're hungry, and I figured tonight was gonna to be rough anyway", Deeks replied. "Besides, it's just beer and burgers, and a little something for the munchkin." When he pulled the catnip mouse out, the kitten went wild, rubbing his ankle and meowing loudly. Deeks laid the mouse down on the floor and the kitten immediately started batting it around and chasing it.
"Cute kitten", Deeks commented. "What did you name him?" Kensi glanced at him and said "She is named Derry. Since she's a little pistol, I named her after one. The vet says she's in good shape for as long as she's been on her own. She's a tuxedo munchkin." Deeks guessed she is called a tuxedo because she looks like she is wearing a tux, she's all black except for under her chin and her chest, which is white.
Kensi took a deep breath and started talking. She would rather do anything except have the conversation she was about to have. "Deeks, I want to explain why I've been so bitchy lately." Deeks stopped playing with Derry and gave Kensi his attention. "I've been lied to so much, and left by people who said they were there for me, that it bothered me that you had to kiss Nicole on that assignment. What if you decided you didn't want to be an NCIS agent anymore and wanted to go back to being LAPD? I don't want to have to break in a new partner." Kensi didn't want to admit her feelings went far deeper than partnership for Deeks. Given her past romances, she didn't trust herself or her feelings, much less anyone else.
Deeks sensed the idea of him going back to LAPD wasn't the whole problem, but he had no idea how to break the wall Kensi had erected around her emotions. He started by telling her "Kens, I will never want to go back to LAPD. Why would I want to go back to the people who treat me bad, when I can stay here and be punched by you?" Kensi rolled her eyes, but he saw her relax a little. He was encouraged to sit a little closer to her on the couch, on the pretext of petting Derry, who had gotten tired of playing with the mouse and had jumped up on the couch beside Kensi to take a nap. Derry raised her head, purred louder, and leaned into Deeks' hand.
Kensi waited for Deeks to finish paying attention to the kitten before she spoke. "Deeks, you don't understand what it did to me when Jack left. I thought he was the one who would love me forever, and he didn't. If I couldn't make him stay when I treated him like a king, what hope do I have with someone that I treat bad? I haven't always treated you the best, but it would devastate me if you left." Kensi abruptly realized what she'd said and tried to backtrack. "I mean, who else would I be able to train to do what I want so quickly?" Even though she tried to cover it up, Deeks saw how flustered she was under her sarcasm. He said "Princess, you couldn't get rid of me if you tried. I want to be your partner. I like knowing I have your back, and that you have mine. Who else would put up with me being so goofy, but know that I can get the job done?" Deeks knew he was taking his life into his own hands, but he slid even closer to Kensi on the couch. He lifted Derry and put her on his lap, and put his hand on Kensi's shoulder. When Kensi didn't give him the evil glare or punch him, he slid his arm around her and pulled her into his body. "Kensi, I don't know how else to tell you, you mean everything to me. If all we can ever be is partners, I'm good with that. Would I like to be more? You bet. But if not, I'll take being partners."
Kensi relaxed into Deeks and started petting the kitten. "Would you like to watch a movie? I have Grown Ups, The Vow, or the new Footloose. Or we can always watch Titanic again." she said with a grin. Deeks made his choice, and she went in the kitchen to make some mircowave popcorn. When she got back into the living room, she found Deeks and Derry streched out on the couch, Derry under Deeks' chin. She laid down beside Deeks and started watching the movie. She was just glad the evening went better than she had thought it would.
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A/N: Sorry for the delay. It's been a rough couple of weeks. Thanks to everybody who reviewed, and as always, my husband for all the support.