Eli arrived home around six in the evening to see Clare and Cece were baking cookies in the kitchen. "Mmmm, something smells great which must mean Cece wasn't allowed to touch anything here.", Eli joked as he took a chocolate chip cookie from a Santa plate and munched on it.
Cece lightly slapped Eli on the back of his head when she passed by. "You know I'm an amazing cook. I made dinner last night, and I recall having to remind you not to inhale the food." Clare loved listening to the lively banter that all of the family members participated in routinely.
"I was kidding. No worries, you're still an awesome cook, aside from that cup cake incident last Christmas." Eli watched his mom blush slightly as she remembered the scorch marks that run up the wall above the oven for months after the "incident" before they could be repaired.
"One time I want to watch "A Christmas Story", and I asked you to watch them!"
"You yelled up to my room after forgetting I had gone with Bullfrog to the station, so you can't turn this around on me." Eli popped the last piece of cookie into his mouth and smirked at his mom before turning to Clare. "Doctor's appointment next week, right?"
Clare was just setting the tray of cookie dough in the oven when Eli spoke to her. "Yep, Dr. Lein said it should be a shorter trip, since all we're doing is a check up." Clare wished she could skip over this month, because next month she would be able to know the genders. It was bittersweet though, because Eli would be leaving for university at the beginning of August.
"Sounds good. I'm going to shower before dinner. Bullfrog thought it would be funny to make me carry all of the new cases of music upstairs to be sorted which I also had to do. Your husband is a sadist." Eli had been working at the station for nearly a year to make some extra money, and he had made quite a bit, since he had hardly spent any. At first he wasn't sure what he would use it for aside from meals, since his scholarship paid for his college education completely, but he had recently thought of a use for his extra money. "Oh yeah, Cece, I forgot to tell you that I got the job in New York."
Cece smiled proudly at Eli and said, "That's great, baby boy. I know you'll do well there."
Clare was officially confused. "What job? Aren't you going to NYU?"
Eli couldn't believe he had forgotten to tell her, although he had sent in the application before rekindling his friendship with Clare. "I am, but I have a part time job as an editor at a news paper, so I can make some money while in school."
"Oh, congratulations! That's an amazing opportunity and a good learning experience.", she said giving him a hug. She was blushing when they broke apart, because Cece had made an "aw" sound, and Clare was sure she had heard "here comes the bride" being hummed. Eli laughed at his mom and left to take a shower while Cece cleared some space to start that night's dinner. That night they ate without Bullfrog, because he was working late at the station to add some last minute entries to the music list for the next day.
A few nights later Eli and Clare were sleeping when something woke Clare from her slumber. She looked around to see if there was any indication as to what had woken her in the room, and then it happened. Her eyes widened as she felt like there was popcorn popping in her belly. Was she hungry? It stopped, and she waited. "Hey, babies. If that's you, keep going?", she whispered to her twins. Clare waited for what felt like hours and had almost given up, when she felt a quick jab from inside her belly. She rolled over quickly. "Eli, Eli!"
"Hmm.", he called. He was barely awake but registered Clare's next words very clearly.
"They're kicking!" She took his hand and laid it on her belly where one or both of the babies decided to somersault beneath his hand.
Eli stared at her belly in quiet amazement. It was an odd sensation feeling the babies squirm around from inside Clare. "Wow, that's pretty cool." He smiled when he felt another kick from one of the babies agreeing with him.
Clare breathed out a little laugh. "Yeah, I think they recognize you. I love this, it's the most prefect feeling ever; so much better than the morning sickness was." They stayed awake for a little while longer until the babies settled down. After that Eli and Clare lay back down with smiles on each of their faces.
The babies didn't move much for some time after the first night. Clare had called the doctor to make sure that was normal and was assured that it was perfectly for normal for the babies to be running a marathon one day and not doing anything the next day. Cece and Bullfrog had each felt the baby move, but their responses were a bit different. Cece had said, "Aw, I miss feeling Eli kicking around inside me, although now I think it was him practicing writing or something." while Bullfrog had said, "That's freaky, like an alien getting ready to hatch.", but Clare was happy to share the moment with both of them, because they had become somewhat like her surrogate family at that point.
July 20
Clare and Eli were sitting in an exam room again awaiting Dr. Lein's arrival. He entered the room and began the usual routine of greetings, questions, and concerns. He measured Clare's abdomen again and deemed everything normal. Mindy entered the room and began the ultrasound. "I guess I don't need to keep reminding you that the gel will be cold.", she laughed as she squeezed some out onto Clare's belly. The twins appeared on the screen and the swooshing sounds filled the room. Clare knew that no sound could ever compare with that, and Eli felt the same way.
The doctor stared intently at the screen and watched the figures moving around. Clare was beginning to worry when he didn't say anything. "Are they okay?" She didn't even attempt to hide her worry as she stared at the doctor imploringly.
He looked at her with a calming smile. "Everything's fine. I see four arms, four legs, and ten fingers and toes for each. Sometimes at this stage you can see the gender, but your babies are being shy. This month their movements should become more frequent, so maybe by out next appointment they will have shifted enough to see what you're having." Clare was relieved that everything was okay and excited that the twins would be moving more often than they had been. Eli squeezed her hand, and the doctor made another appointment for the next month after asking a few more questions and assuring Clare again that the babies were doing very well.
Clare and Eli were eating lunch after returning from the appointment, but Clare was only picking at her food. Eli noticed this and intervened carefully. "You alright?"
Clare looked up from where she had been in her own world and replied with, "Hm? Oh, I'm fine." before going back to picking apart her helpless food.
"Well I don't know what your sandwich did to deserve that kind of torture then." He knew pointing out that Clare wasn't happy would only make her deny the unhappiness more forcefully than the first time, so he indirectly said it, knowing she wanted to talk about whatever it was.
She smiled sadly looking at the bits of sandwich scattered around her plate and sighed. "It didn't do anything. I've been thinking about how I'm over halfway through my pregnancy, and I never told my dad. He hasn't called me or anything, but I think I should tell him; he's going to be a grand father after all."
She looked at Eli for his opinion. "He's your father, so I agree that you should at least tell him your pregnant with his grand children. Maybe he'll offer to help you, if you tell him about what happened with your mom."
Clare thought about the scenario but didn't want his help. "I don't want it. He hasn't been there for me, so he probably won't offer anyway. If he does, I don't want it." She didn't want to take her dad's money after he had practically forgotten about her in favor of his new family, new kids. "Should I call him now?" She sounded nervous but determined.
Eli considered the little stress she was under and figured it couldn't hurt to get past this milestone. "If you don't do it now, you'll worry about it until you do. Why prolong it?"
Clare smiled and took her cellphone from her pocket. She took a deep breath and dialed the familiar numbers of her dad's phone. A female voice answered. "Hello?", the young voice said. His step kids were too young to answer phones, so this must be his new wife or fiance or whatever she was.
"Hi, this is Clare. Is my dad there?" She had met the woman once, and she was friendly enough, but Clare was not in the mood to make small talk.
She heard the woman call her dad's name and an exchange of words through the phone before her dad spoke into the phone confusedly. "Clare?" He sounded surprised, but there was no trace of happiness in his surprise, just curiosity.
"Hi, dad. I wanted to tell you something." She was stalling, because this was big news to hear over the phone.
She was about to continue with her news, but Randal interrupted her. "About the pregnancy? Yeah, your mom called when she found out and said something about you leaving the house for a while. I had meant to call and check up on you, but things are a little hectic around and it slipped my mind. Sorry, Clare-Bear." He sounded distracted, and Clare was annoyed that she couldn't even get his attention for this.
He acted like his teenage daughter being pregnant in high school was something trivial that he couldn't be expected to remember, and Clare wished she had never thought of giving him the courtesy of a call or ever wanted to tell him about the twins. "It just slipped your mind that I got pregnant?"
He sighed on the other end of the line and seemed annoyed by having his answer repeated to him but answered anyway. "I'm very busy with work and the kids, so-"
"The kids? I'm your kid, you know the biological one that's actually related to you instead of being related to your bank account? Did you forget about the family you left behind, so you could relive your youth with some woman half your age?" Tears leaked from her eyes, and she clutched the phone tightly out of anger and hurt.
"Now you don't need to talk about my family like that. I haven't forgotten you, but it's not easy to find time to do everything and some things slip my mind. You can't expect me to remember every single thing I hear, sweetie. Do you need help with something or need a place to stay for a little while?"
Clare released a short bitter laugh. ""I don't want your money, and I don't want to stay with you for a week while listening to you constantly talk about how the condo's too small for the one extra person sleeping on the couch or ask when I'm going back to mom, so you don't have to deal with me. Keep your money, and keep your new family!", she screamed at Randal. She was so angry that she hung before he had a chance to answer her enraged words and silent accusations and insults to his parenting ability. She was so angry that her father had talked about her like she was something he had to write in a planner to remember.
"Hey, you okay?" Eli was sure he was asking her that way too often, but it seemed necessary in that moment. He watched her shake with sobs and wanted to punch her father in the face for making her feel this way after all that she had already been through. She shouldn't have to overcome her father like he was some obstacle or barrier she had to break through in order to finally be happy.
Clare sniffed and loosened her grip a little on the phone. "He said mom told him, and he would've called, but he was busy with work and his kids. It slipped his mind, apparently" She sounded so angry and bitter as the acidic words passed her lips, and Eli knew she must be seething with all of the anger and resentment she had bottled up from her father's actions and words.
Eli pulled her into a hug and rubbed her back while she cried into his chest. "He's an idiot if he thinks any step kids could compare with you. He doesn't deserve you, and I'll tattoo it on my forehead if you need to see it every day to believe it or be reminded" He smiled a bit at coaxing a laugh out of her. Eli had been planned on asking Clare something important and slightly life changing but chose to postpone the conversation for when she was thinking more clearly.
The rest of that day was spent with Eli cheering Clare up and making her laugh as many times as he could or hugging her when she received a "we need to talk" text from her father, referring to the way she spoke to him and about his family. Eventually Eli took her phone and turned it off before throwing it across the room. She should have been angry that he may have broken her phone, but he was the only person she wanted to talk to right then, so she only laughed and watched "The Notebook" with him for the third time that day.
Almost a week later Clare's phone, which hadn't broken upon impact, rang. Clare didn't recognize the number but answered it anyway. "Hello?", she said into the phone speaker.
"Clare?", the timid voice asked from the other line.
"Tori, how are you?" Clare had recognized the young girl's voice right away and hoped she was calling with good news.
She heard Tori's smile in her answer. "Good, really good. I talked to my mom, and she agreed that the baby shouldn't suffer because of my mistake. She's letting my do the adoption. We went to the agency today, and I'm going to look through all these files for a family I like. There are so many people who want kids, and I get to help one of them." She sounded scared but happy.
"That's really great. I'm glad your mom listened, but what about your boy friend?"
Tori sighed a little, and Clare wondered if she had said the wrong thing. "He yelled a lot and left, but I'm glad he did. I'd rather find out what kind of father he is now instead of later, because he wouldn't even hear me out."
Clare was glad Tori had taken everything so well. "I know that must have been hard to deal with for you, but you'll do better without him trying to change your mind for you."
"What you said to me really helped, and I just wanted to make sure you know that you were right. I would have regretted the abortion as soon as it was done or sooner, and I'm not sure how I would have handled that kind of guilt and pain, so thank you. So much."
Clare was almost crying at how sweet Tori's words were, and she realized there was only one other thing she could give the girl. "You inspired me too, with your courage and going back to face your mom and boy friend alone, so if one of my babies is a girl, I'm naming her after you. I hope she's as brave and amazing as you."
Clare had heard Tori's gasp at the information. "Thank you for everything, and is that offer to call anytime still open if I need to talk to you?"
"Day or night.", Clare said with confidence.
July 30
Eli had been putting off this conversation long enough. He had to leave soon, so he had to talk with Clare about this now or give up on it ever happening. Clare was at one of her birth education classes that she had been attending at the hospital, so she would know what to expect in the next few months and for labor. Eli was pacing back and forth in his bedroom, trying to think of how he wanted to do this or introduce the conversation, when he heard the front door open and close. Time was up; he ran his hands through his hair and breathed in. "Eli, I'm back." Clare had opted on going to her classes alone, since Eli would be at university when the twins would be born and would be of little help from that far away.
"Hey, can you come up here for a second?" His voice sounded nervous and strained, and he faltered towards the end. He wiped his sweaty hands on his black skinny jeans and heard Clare walking up the steps to his room.
She entered with an inquisitive expression adorning her face. "What's up? You sound kind of weird; are you alright?" She watched him take a breath and wipe his hands on his jeans again.
Eli was almost certain that he had never been this nervous in his whole life. "Um- yeah, I wanted to talk to you about something important." His voice stayed steady when he spoke that time. Clare waited for him to continue. "Have you considered home schooling for next year?", he asked avoiding the topic he wanted to get to.
"Maybe, but why?" Clare didn't understand why this was coming up now or how it was under the "important" category.
"I just think it could be better, because you could get more work done before the babies are born and graduate early. After they're born, you're going to be so busy, and school will be easier if you can schedule your school work around the twins instead of the other way around. You can also sleep more if you're far enough ahead to only work a little each day."
Clare thought about this, and it made more sense than going back to Degrassi. After two months of turning into a blimp she didn't really want to see anyone there again soon. "I guess that could work, and it would be easier than going to school all day, especially after the twins are born. Also, I would miss a lot of school anyway after they're born."
Eli smiled and continued. "Good, That's a good start, so this will be a little easier." He suddenly found the ground more interesting then before.
Clare was confused again. She was trying to figure out what Eli was talking about but had no idea. "Eli, are you talking about it being easier to raise the babies? You won't even be here for that.", she reminded him gently. She couldn't hide the sadness in her voice when she admitted out loud that Eli would be gone soon.
"I'm leaving in week, since school starts in mid August, so I wanted to ask you now in person. I couldn't wait much longer, but I kept chickening out, and you and I have both been busy with the birth classes and working at the station. I wanted to make sure we would have enough time to talk, but I guess the time crunch kind of forced it to happen now." He was rambling more to himself than her as he tried to work up the courage to ask the question he desperately wanted an answer to. He hadn't realized that he was pacing again.
Clare was having a difficult time following what Eli was saying, because most of it was making her more confused the longer he spoke. His train of thought was moving at a hundred miles per hour, and Clare couldn't keep up with what he was thinking or half muttering. "Eli!", she called to get his attention. He looked up, and she continued. "What are you talking about? I'm so confused."
"Come to New York with me."