J.K. Rowling owns HP. I own OC and the plot. thanks :)

Alone No More

CHAPTER FOUR: dark mark

"You and I are not what we wish to be."

4

The Dark Mark glared angrily up at him from her smooth, pale forearm. Snape could see the redness and irritation around the edges of the mark. It rippled slightly giving the illusion that the snake was alive. He debated whether to touch her or not. Before he decided against it, he tenderly took her arm in his hands, slowly gliding his fingers soothingly over the mark. Wincing slightly at the chill of his fingers, Lumora stared at him in wonder, she couldn't believe that he was touching her like this. He began to think of possible potions that would help heal the mark faster when he must have hit a sensitive spot because she hissed and yanked her arm away. Turning away from him, she unrolled her sleeve, redoing to security buttons all the way to frilly cuff at her wrist. She also allowed her hair and eyes to return to their natural state.

Snape moved to stand behind her, reaching around her waist to her arm again. She whirled to snarl in his face, "DO NOT TOUCH ME." A shadow crossed his face as he let go of her arm. Suddenly she realized that she had hurt him. Her eyes widened, losing their anger. Tears of frustration welled up in her eyes and she hid her face in her hands. Snape stood in front of the guarded, self-reliant woman that had dutifully given herself to the cause of the greater good. He once entertained the idea of a female spy for the Order. He recalled Remus and Sirius discussing the possibility, but when Snape put in Nymphadora's name for consideration, the discussion of a second spy had ceased.

"I am sorry." Snape spoke, causing Lumora to jump at the sound. His voice was velvet in the now dark room. Only a few candles remained lit at her desk. When she removed her hands from her face, she gave a small sniffle. She stared at him, unsure of what to do. She was a little confused as to what exactly he was sorry for. She first thought that maybe he was sorry for hurting her. But maybe he was really sorry that she was a spy for the Order just like him. "I am a spy for the Order. You probably did not recognize me as I change my appearance when I go to meetings. I consulted with Sirius, Remus and Dumbledore about that and they all agreed that fact that I can "hide in plain sight" would appeal to Voldemort." Snape merely nodded. Her voice softened as she continued, "I am glad to see you are doing better Professor, Voldemort was most unmerciful last week. For that I am sorry."

He returned her gaze cooly, letting his brow furrow together in confusion. He was unsure of whether to take her apology seriously. He did not want her pity. Pity never did anyone any good. "I am also sorry for refusing your offer of help. Please forgive me." Lumora whispered, beginning to unbutton the buttons on her left sleeve again. Snape stepped forward, stilling her movements with his hands. He took her right hand in his and continued to hold her arm in his other. He pushed the sleeve up gently, smoothing his thumb soothingly over the mark, this time painfully aware of its tenderness. It was as if his heart was taking control of his actions. Usually he would have spat in the face of someone needing his help, sending them off to Poppy and the like. This time was different. They had hardly spent a day together and yet something inside of his cold, icy heart began to thaw.

"I have a potion that will calm the irritation and swelling." Snape spoke softly before murmuring a calming charm over the wound.

Lumora Ollivander stared at the Potions Master as if he had just sprouted two heads. His reputation preceded him very strongly. She had been told over and over that he was cold, heartless, void of any tenderness. Yet here he stood, tending to her arm as if she was a wounded child. Maybe that was how he saw her. She was, after all, only twenty-two years old. A life filled with violence and darkness had caused her to mature beyond those mere twenty-two years. She guessed him to be at the most thirty-five. She reckoned that he had seen just as much and more violence than she had.

"May I come see you for that in the morning?" Lumora asked, desperate to get away from him so she could catch her breath and clear her head. Snape began re-buttoning her sleeve to conceal the mark, keeping his gaze down at her wrist. He then looked up to meet her questioning eyes.

"Certainly." He answered before he could stop himself. His eyes were no longer cold and piercing, but soft orbs of black. Instead of giving her arm back he pulled her closer to him, wrapping his arms around her. Lumora could feel his warm breath on her temple above her ear. Severus Snape found himself unsure what to do as he held Lumora Ollivander close to him. The urge to protect her, shield her from the Dark Lord's vengeance overwhelmed him. IHe was not sure where this sudden urge of compassion was coming from. Ugh. Compassion, the word even had a bad taste in his mind, let alone his mouth.

"Professor Snape, I must talk to Professor McGonagall before I turn in for the night." Lumora spoke not wanting to allow herself any opportunity to fall to the tempting man before her. She moved her head to look up into his eyes. He smoothed a stray curl behind her ear and released her. "I'm supposed to meet with her at nine, She wanted me to discuss with me about the possibility of my becoming a referee for quidditch next term." Lumora glanced at the clock on the wall, eight fifty-five. If she did not hurry she was going to be late. Quickly she grabbed her cloak and threw it over her arm, staring at him again.

Snape stood there watching her check the clock and stare back at him. He could see that she didn't want him to think she was rushing away from him. Foolery, Why did he care if she cared if he thought she was rushing away from him? As flattering as it was to have her care about his opinion, he didn't need her pity. He gave a slight nod of his head, "I will see you in my lab in the morning." Lumora nodded, biting her lip. Then she turned away from him and rushed down the aisle and was gone.

Snape continued to stare at the empty doorway, only to find it not empty anymore. Lumora stood in the doorway, her hands braced beside her against the frame. Her hair streaming back from her face, an air of uncertainty dwelled in her eyes. "Good night," she said softly, then before he could reply the doorway was empty again.

Severus lay in bed that night, staring up at the ceiling. Every time he closed his eyes, her piercing violet stare took his breath away. He groaned with frustration at the entire stomach turning situation and his own reaction to her charms. She seemed just as reluctant as he was to let anyone get close to her. He had only ever felt extremely attracted to one other woman.

Lily Potter was a beautiful, gifted witch. She had chosen to be his friend, but ignore his desire for more. After the name calling incident, their friendship she had chosen the infuriating Potter over him. For that he vowed never to give his heart away. Lumora Ollivander was a woman of great power and beauty. Her beauty was far beyond skin deep. Dumbledore only admired people who were genuine, loyal to a fault and completely selfless. It did not escape Snape that he had claimed that his admiration had increased greatly at the revelation of Lumora's Animagus this evening. Usually Dumbledore trusted the right people. Usually.

After all, the Order trusted her to spy for them. He could see now why he had been left out of the decision. He would have refused it. He felt threatened by the thought of someone sharing his lonely burden. Now he was shocked that he was considering the idea had merit.

He could still see the look in her eyes when she apologized for Voldemort's mistreatment. It was as if she was apologizing for not being strong enough to protect him. The sincerity of her words was heart wrenching. "Foolish girl," He spat into the dark, cold room, his voice reverberating off the stone walls. He turned over once more to face the wall. Telling himself that she was just a foolish, optimistic girl almost made sleep possible, almost.

Lumora quietly made her way up to her room in Gryffindor tower. Minerva had only taken a few moments to explain to her that her Animagus was a gift and that she should use it for the benefit of the students. Strange that her Animagus was valid in regulating the game but completely invalid for playing it, oh the irony. *sigh*

After shedding her heavy cloak and boots she gladly went to the bathroom to take a hot shower. Letting the steam envelope her senses, Lumora allowed herself to picture Professor Snape. She could smell his sweet, spicy, earthy scent as it swirled around her. The sheer strength in his arms as he had pushed her against the door made her groan with pleasure. How often she had thought herself too strong, too masculine to have been dominated like that. She got out of the shower and made final preparations for sleep.

Something kept tugging in the back of her mind at the thought of Professor Snape. She knew that she could trust him, he was, after all, a double agent spy for the Order just like her. He had been at this position for a while, and he had issues with matters of the heart. It seemed like Dumbledore had more in mind than just giving her the perfect cover as a teacher while at Hogwarts. Maybe he was concerned that Snape needed someone to come along side him and carry the burden of this cruel double life. She already felt desolate, hurt and completely alone, and she had only been doing this for a couple of weeks! She couldn't imagine the multitude of pain and anguish that Snape's tenure had brought him.

Just before she drifted off to sleep she heard a tapping at her window. Reluctantly she got out of the cozy warmth of the covers and opened the window. A midnight black raven swooped into her chambers, nearly startling a sleeping Elliott and his mistress to death. The raven cawed loudly, the noise echoing in the stone room. Lumora noticed a roll of parchment tied to its leg. Careful not to startle the bird, she crept forward, cooing to it softly. "Hey there big fella, you sure are handsome. Do you have a message from master for me?" She slowly took the message and unrolled it, waving her hand to light the lamp over her head.

Professor Ollivander,

It seems you at least some sense about you for allowing me to help with the dueling club and with your arm. The potion will be ready at 8 o'clock,

Severus Snape

PS Horace is a loyal but detestable bird

The raven cawed softly as if in acknowledgement of his master's warning as she put down the paper. She quickly went to her desk and grabbed a small piece of parchment and a quill.

Lumora reviewed her hastily scrawled note. Before she could erase the "PS" she quickly rolled the reply and tied it to Horace's leg. Horace gave a final squawk as he sailed out the open window. Lumora returned to her bed, waving her hand to extinguish the lamp and close the window.

Horace sailed back into his master's chambers and cawed softly. Severus walked over to the birds perch and quickly unrolled the message.

Professor Snape,

I am grateful of your approval for the dueling club. As I said before, the students and I will benefit greatly from your presence. I will be there at eight for the potion. Thank you.

Lumora

PS Horace is a fine bird, all I had to do was tell him he had beautiful eyes, just like his master.

The ice around his heart began to crack. He could feel the walls that he had erected to keep people out and himself safe begin to crumble slightly. Maybe for once in his life, Severus would have to trust letting someone else take possession of his heart.

Dearest Readers,

Thank you for reading :) please review and let me know what you think! Up next is "potion."

xoxo

Lumora The White