AN: I do exist! This semester of school has literally been kicking my can. But, I have been writing, and now that the Holiday break is here- I can get crack-a-lackin. Thank you for all being patient and Happy Holidays!

Side Note- This chapter….I wasn't quite sure where it was going…till it got there. Oh, well- at least it's done. I've looked through it enough times that I got a little 'burned out' on it. So it's finished.

Thoughts on it or the story in general? Review!

Disclaimer: I wouldn't mind receiving a little Kenshin for Christmas…but besides my fictional writing I have none of my own to give.

Caged

Chapter 5

Explosive Reactions

Kaoru shifted lethargically, stretching her hands above her head while stifling back a deep yawn. She glanced at the large wood framed mirror in front of her, noting the tired reflection that stared back with scrutiny. Her eyes seemed bright and unfocused and beneath her drooping lids the dark circles had grown. She picked up the brush lying askew on the matching vanity and slowly brought it through her hair. Freshly washed, the strands hung in a murky wet curtain around her face. It was late morning, the heavy drapes blocking the light that shone outside the windows. Lamps instead were lit, casting deep and bleak shadows over the furniture. The room from top to bottom was the same as it was every morning, every nook and cranny identical. The atmosphere was one of gloominess, and it was one that she was well acquainted with.

She had kicked her maids out that morning as soon as she was able. Three new ones, they'd arrived in a nervous flurry with their noses wrinkled and heavy frowns on their faces. All only a few years older than her, she'd watched them study her with unabashed curiosity. No one liked being rotated to work with Kaoru, but the younger ones seemed to enjoy staring at her in some sort of sick fascination. They had twittered and teetered around her, every touch and glance seeming to make them visibly more ill. Kaoru had done both her and them a favor in asking them to exit. She wasn't in the mood to try and handle people, and she knew they'd rather clean out ancient chamber pots than be near her.

Their annoying actions had made the morning even more unbearable. Sleep had been rough for her last night, nightmares coming and going as she'd twisted and turned. It had set an awful tone for the day- waking up covered in sweat and breathing heavily. She'd hoped that they were done, that she'd be free until next time, but last night had been a clear indication that she was wrong.

Chillness permeated from the stone walls and floor. The thin rug beneath her stool was not nearly thick enough to ward of the cold beneath, and her toes curled in an effort to escape the temperature. She adjusted the wool shawl on her shoulders, stubbornly fighting the urge to slide her dress on over her shift. Kaoru didn't think it was too much to want the room warmed to a livable state, but didn't want to bother Aoshi with the small inconvenience. And she would rather crawl over hot coals then ask Yumi. Sighing, Kaoru tugged a bit more on the warmth covering her shoulders and then glanced behind her. The dress she'd had the maids pull out lay unfolded on her bed, the black material nearly invisible against a matching bed quilt. It was one of her more comfortable gowns, easy to slip on, and loose enough for free movement and breathing. And although she hated the color, it did have a pretty velvet ribbon sewn into the neckline and hem.

The neckline was eye-catching too. It was her only dress that scooped just enough to show off her collar bone and neck. When Kaoru had first received it, she'd been discouraged. Yumi had purposefully made it for one reason. To taunt her. The marks on her neck were more than obvious when she wore the gown. Black, ugly, and practically obscene in her opinion, she didn't know then how she could ever wear the dress.

Now she pulled out a thickly trimmed black ribbon that Aoshi had given her last year on the day of her birth. Not that he'd ever admitted to giving it to her, but she'd seen the plain package on her bed and known it was from him. No one else had even acknowledged that such an abomination had been given birth to. Like she had somehow magically appeared on Yumi's doorstep and begged to be caged. Kaoru shut her eyes, and wished the thoughts away. Pulling her hair over her shoulder, she tied the ribbon around her neck and successfully hid the marks. It was charming, and coupled with the dress she almost felt attractive.

The thought made her start, and ignoring the ribbon, she picked up the brush and pulled it quickly through her hair in retaliation. She let herself wince at the pain that cut through her fuzzy mind. The faint blush on her cheeks grew, and as it spread so did her self loathing. She was being stupid. She looked back at the dress lying innocently on her bed, and then back to her reflection. These last couple of days she'd been stupid. Like it mattered how she looked. Like anyone would notice. Like she wanted someone to notice. And it had all started so innocently. Kaoru knew that if she just had better resolve, if she was just stronger, she'd be able to turn away and end this growing fascination. But every time she tried to go somewhere else, every bone in her body protested. Some part of her was certain that she'd see him if she went back to that worn room. A part of her that she shied away from would start and stutter with just the thought of seeing him.

She was still frightened of course, a stranger made her wary and nervous. Her past experiences had taught her enough that she knew to be careful. But never had Kaoru ever thought she'd experience what she had that lazy afternoon. When she'd opened her eyes after napping and he'd been there, she'd nearly forgotten how to breathe. The light from the window had lit his hair on fire, creating a blazing halo that made him supernatural in appearance. His stature was not large, but the great strength and power he possessed was evident in every line of his body. Kaoru had been awed, originally certain that he was some sort of sick hallucination she'd thought up. He'd dripped sex appeal, and every line in her body had gone taut and still. She'd felt vulnerable, soft, and undeniably female next to him.

Then he'd smiled and spoken, and the wonder had been overwhelmed with a heart stopping fear. Something about him was familiar; something about him tugged at her in a way that made Kaoru uncertain and uneasy. Even thinking of him now made her feel safe, and she knew undoubtedly that she should be feeling something else entirely. She had been alone with a stranger-an unknown man that could mock her or physically harm her with little to no resistance. Kaoru could not fight; she could not scream for help or beg for mercy. A fine sheen of sweat had broken across her brow and pooled at her back and breasts. Her heart beat had sounded loudly in her ears and she'd wished desperately that her brother might appear.

Aoshi was her buffer for the outside world, keeping her out of and protecting her from all trouble. After so many years of having him by her side, facing the unknown without him was terrifying. She'd felt faint, then dizzy, ready for this stranger to scowl or draw back his fist. And part of her had actually hoped that he would. Something inside of her that had been slowly growing wanted this weary and rough existence to end. She'd recognized the fact that Aoshi was there for her, that he had given up everything for her. If only she could disappear, if only she could end it- then he would be able to go and do whatever it was that he wanted. The man had not drawn back his fist though, had not taken out a sharp dagger. Instead, he'd smiled hesitantly.

She hadn't known then what sort of action she should take. The grin on his face had made the man, if possible, even more gorgeous. His good nature had rolled off of him in waves and had lapped lazily at her skin. Being near him had simply felt good. She'd wanted to reach out and touch him. She'd wanted to feel her bare skin sliding against his.

Kaoru still shivered just thinking about such a contact. It had been years since anyone had approached her without malice oozing like a sick festering wound. Had it been some sort of test from Yumi? Had this seemingly perfect person been nothing more than a concoction from her tormentor? And although there was something strikingly familiar about him, she knew without a doubt that she'd never seen him around the grounds. She would have remembered him. With his hair that was like flame, eyes that seemed to flicker in color, and a body that was both toned and tanned- he had to be the most attractive man she'd ever observed.

Kaoru's heart skipped at the memory, and she glanced away from the reflective image. It was embarrassing that she was so focused on someone that thought so little of her. While she'd trembled, shook, and forced a rusty curtsy out of herself, he'd seemed remarkable comfortable alone with her. Alone with a woman who wore all black and didn't say a word back when he spoke.

But that night she hadn't had nightmares, that night she'd dreamt of him sitting next to her reading. The dream had been eerily similar to real life, the sun, the book, the uncomfortable silence that grew a bit less tense with time. She'd read next to him in her dream, watched him from the corner of her eye, and woke up more curious than ever. Would she ever see him again? Did she want to see him again? A good part of her had squirmed at the thought of once again putting herself into such a vulnerable position. Without Aoshi by her side, she was easily killed. A flick of the wrist, a twist of a dagger, even a sharp blow to the chest could probably end her life. Her brother had told her and told her how cautious she needed to be. She'd walked through the next day in a haze, sure that the day before she'd over imagined things.

Yes, there had been a man in the room with her that hadn't been Aoshi. Yes, he'd been kind, handsome, and unassuming. But that didn't necessarily mean anything. When she was younger, Kaoru would have said fate was intervening for her. Because she couldn't go out and find Prince Charming, he would come for her. He would be dashing, resilient, and with flowery phrases and gentle hands carry her off into the sunset. That dream though had ended a long time ago. There were no princes waiting in the wings for "Lady Death," no surprising turn of fortune just over the horizon. Her fate had been altered once when she was a child- and it would forever remain on the downward path it had taken. She'd kept those thoughts throughout the day after meeting him. Kaoru did not get lucky breaks…not ever.

Aoshi had been quiet that day too, and her attention had forced itself from the red haired man. She'd told herself that it was a one time experience and that was that. She should remain focused on things that really mattered. Like her brother. The day after her meeting with the red haired man, Aoshi was called to another meeting with Yumi. Kaoru had taken solace once more in the bedraggled library and an equally dilapidated book. She'd tried to concentrate on the words, but fatigue had won out for the second day in a row. The sleep had been deep for a nap, and even now she was thankful that the rest had been nightmare free. Kaoru had come back slowly this time, a hazy feeling hanging in her head from the slumber. She'd turned on her side determined to pull herself out of her exhaustion when the feeling of being watched washed over her

Scanning quickly, she'd been terrified of who it could possibly be. Standing near the closest bookcase, the person paid her no attention. When she recognized him, one sort of tension left her while another one flooded in. It was the same mane of hair she'd seen the day before, his back to her as he flipped through a book. The sun wasn't as strong as it had been, but his hair still glittered and gleamed. All the courage she thought she had abruptly disappeared. Doubts ran through her mind and her hand had unconsciously moved to cover her fluttering midsection.

He'd turned towards her then a bit awkwardly, and apologized for bothering her again. Once more she hadn't known what to do; once again she'd searched her mind for some way to escape. He'd grinned and sat down next to her, opening a book as he did so. She had stayed, and like last time the strain in the room had been so thick she'd been surprised she could draw breath. He'd remained for much longer this time, and Kaoru had tried frantically to look at anything but him.

Unfortunately, that day all she could concentrate on were his hands. They'd tease just the edge of her vision, long strong fingers covered in calluses and small scars. The nails were clean, something that she usually saw only on her brother or herself. He'd held the book carefully, each page turn meticulous enough not to tear or damage the fragile material. The action showed a caring and concern she hadn't observed in a long time. And it had made her start to wonder. Just what sort of man was he? He who was kind to the mute and gentle with fragile books despite his strength?

And the thoughts that had followed made her even more uneasy. How would his hands feel running through her hair? How would they feel stroking her arm or her leg?

He'd left shortly after, once again apologizing for having to leave. The next day though he'd gotten there even before she. And again they'd sat in silence, Kaoru not so certain anymore of what to think. If before the room had been filled with anxiety, she could now feel it being replaced with something of a different sort. The atmosphere was one that she did not recognize, but it hummed just beneath her skin and made her feel nervous. If he sensed it, he didn't do anything to show it.

She'd wanted to ask him a question or two, but the realization that she couldn't had discouraged her to the point of tears. Now today, she was sickened by her own body's response. How could she ever begin to feel comfortable around him was mind numbing. And more importantly, she needed to tell her brother.

Her heart stumbled at the thought and she cursed it. Whatever inexplicable connection she thought she had with the red haired man she needed to dispel. And the first step was somehow letting her brother know. And then Aoshi would take care of it and….She didn't let the train of thought go any further. The idea of Aoshi hurting him was alarmingly disturbing. And Kaoru still did not know what Aoshi and Yumi were conversing on. He had been called away each day by Lady Yumi, torn away from her and leaving a hole in her heart where he usually was. She couldn't stand not being near him, and knew how much he hated being away from her. And as each day passed he looked more and more exhausted.

She didn't know what to do. Yumi was doing something to her brother, she could feel it deep within, and she was absolutely terrified. What action could she possibly take? None. Aoshi, trapped as she, was just as vulnerable and it killed her. She could see the tension in his frame every morning, stringing him tighter and tighter. He did so much for her, and if anything happened to him Kaoru knew she would not survive long. By someone else's hand, or even her own, without Aoshi she would undoubtedly die. He was the only thing keeping her both safe and anchored.

Throwing her brush down, Kaoru purposefully turned and stood. Roughly pulling her hair back into a loose knot on the back of her head, she secured it while pushing the stranger and her brother from her thoughts. Picking up her dress, she slid her arms into it and pulled it over her head. She did the small bit of lacing in the front while her mind turned over on itself. Yes, she would tell Aoshi. But she just couldn't bring herself to do it yet. The red haired man was hers. Their afternoons together for now were just for Kaoru, and she didn't want to share.

As she smoothed the fabric over her hips, she wondered just how long she had sat there drifting off into space. Hopefully Aoshi hadn't been waiting for long. Slipping on a pair of stockings and some soft sole shoes, she just finished when a sharp knock hit the door. A sound she knew intimately, Kaoru rushed to open the door. Aoshi stood just outside, tall, straight, and silent. The circles beneath his eyes were now matched by a great cloud of weariness that seemed to roll off him in waves. She wanted to ask what was wrong, she wanted to hurt Lady Yumi, and she needed for Aoshi to be okay. Aoshi with is dark hair falling just so, seemed to read her thoughts.

"Kaoru, don't worry"

He didn't say that it was fine, didn't say that he wasn't in pain or trouble. And Kaoru knew he wouldn't say anymore on the subject. She snapped her fingers in understanding, not knowing what else she could do. If he said he would handle it, then he would. She could do nothing but believe in him. He was all she'd had for most of her life. He stepped back, closing the door behind her, while she took off down the hallway. She wasn't sure exactly where she was going today, the monotony of her so called life stretching out before her like an endless path. There were no turns, twists, or unknown travelers to meet up with. Everyday, forever, she would do the same things.

Giving into her impulse, she turned down the passageway that led to the old library. Walking briskly, Kaoru didn't bother to glance out of the wide windows. It had snowed last night, and she knew a fresh white blanket covered the plants and buildings. Instead, she turned at the correct intersections, listening to her slightly shallow breathing. She told herself that she was going there for the books, that she didn't care at all about anybody else that might be there. That she had worn the dress for no special reason, not for the man who might see her in it. Especially not a red haired individual that was slowly becoming a part of her daily routine.

As she swiveled past the long hallway that led to the guest rooms, Kaoru stopped with a suddenness that even surprised her. Her eyes scanned backward towards who she was sure she had just seen. It was him. Standing a dozen steps down the hall, the red haired man stood talking with some other people she didn't recognize. Wearing dark breeches and a deep green tunic, the clothes looked much more similar to the ones she'd seen him in on the first day. The other days he'd been dressed much more casually. Now the clothing he wore was blindingly new and shiny- from the fastener of his hair to the tip of his leather boots. He looked wonderful, striking, and even from here she could feel that special energy coming off of him. It made a peculiar feeling well up inside of her. Why hadn't she noticed the differences in the way he dressed?

The other two he stood with were equally well-put together. The tall man to his right wore black and red, his booming voice carrying far as he added in words here and there. The only thing remotely absurd was the man's hair, which seemed so messy and spiky that it must have added at least four fingers to his height. The woman in their group though was gorgeous. With barely any effort she put the most striking of Yumi's court to shame. Wearing a deep mauve, her voice was low and rich like cocoa or coffee. The dress Kaoru had so painstakingly decided on now seemed almost ridiculous.

The red haired man turned and said something to the woman, and Kaoru felt the lingering happiness at seeing him die. She was angry. Angry that he had been so kind to her, angry at herself for feeling a connection with him, angry for being jealous of the woman receiving his attention. Desolate because it was obvious that she would never have him for herself. The far off fantasies that she hadn't even let herself acknowledge withered in pain. Laughter spilled out from them and across to where her and her brother stood, and she flinched as if the noise was a physical blow.

It was miserable, frustrating, and Kaoru knew that in a few seconds she was going to start crying. The chasm between the two of them couldn't be any larger, and at that moment she truly believed it. It was easy to pretend, so much easier than she'd thought it would be. They were laughing…something Aoshi and Kaoru hadn't done for years. Something she hadn't even thought about for years. She heard herself make a haggard breath, and brought her hand up to her chest. The noise was watery and airy, the lack of voice creating a sound that was truly awful. The sounds down the hall halted instantly, and she felt three pairs of eyes turn in her direction. It was his gaze though, assessing and considering, that pushed her over the edge. Her heart clenched and turned, and gave a final wrench.

As Kaoru took a hasty step back she saw him start down the hall quickly. She didn't want him near though, didn't think she could handle it. Her reaction was over the top, she knew that, but she couldn't stop the outpouring of emotions. He obviously had everything, he obviously needed nothing. And she had foolishly believed… she had actually wanted….Kaoru couldn't even find the strength to finish her thoughts. As her breathing grew more labored and harsh, she felt the solid weight of her brother come up behind her. His arm wrapped around her shoulders, and Aoshi pulled her back against his solid frame. Not wanting the man to see her tears, she turned into her brother's arms and hid her face in his chest. Her shoulders shook with silent cries, and her hands balled themselves into the front of Aoshi's shirt.

She sensed that the red haired man had approached, could feel his eyes on her. They burned into her back.

"Himura."

Aoshi's voice was cold and confident. It was a tone she'd never heard directed at her, one of condescension and barely contained violence.

"Kamiya."

The man whose name she hadn't even known spoke in a quiet and respectful manner. She trembled slightly at the deep timbre of his voice. It was so soothing, so wonderful. Her brother's grip on her tightened slightly, his only reaction to Himura knowing his name. It had been a long time since she had heard their last name. Kaoru didn't dare look over her shoulder, wasn't sure what the close sight would do to her already tangled emotions. She wanted to crawl in a hole and figure out what was happening to her.

"Kaoru." Her brother had leaned forward to speak softly in her ear, "Can you get back to your room alright?"

She listened to his words, but it was like hearing through water, and she was slow to comprehend. Eventually, with her head still buried in his chest, she shook her head 'no.' Realizing that he could feel the movement, she moved her head once more. The very thought of maneuvering her way back to the room was mind boggling. She could barely stand. His hand rubbed soothingly on her back, and Kaoru let Aoshi hold a bit more of her weight.

As his hand came up to gently rest on the top of her head, sounds faded and abruptly she could only hear Aoshi's heartbeat. Strong and steady beneath her ear, it calmed her own uncontrolled heart. She was so tired of fighting, so tired of being disappointed. Feeling scrapped raw inside, Kaoru shut her eyes and concentrated on the reassuring noise.

Aoshi wrapped his arm tighter around his sister and let both the calming and sound modifying spells wrap around her. She didn't fight them in any way, but rather seemed to embrace the soothing self-contained world they developed for her. He could count the number of times he'd had to use magic on his sister, and they were very few and far between. She trusted him, and he knew that her perception of spells had been damaged by Yumi. Despite his actions though, tears still wetted the front of his tunic and her hands continued to clench desperately at him. She was a wreck, and it tore him up inside. She had always been more emotional than him- especially when tired- but this was triggered by something more than just fatigue. How had he been so oblivious to what was happening to her?

He knew of course what had kept him so preoccupied. Yumi. She'd crossed a line these last few days, and he was still reeling, still fighting tooth and nail to change the situation. It was futile though. He knew it deep inside, and now he wished that he had simply accepted it earlier. If he had, then maybe he would have noticed Kaoru's odd behavior. He'd attributed her energy spurts and anxiety to the drain she had experienced. Now he knew that it was something else.

Aoshi's senses refocused on the man in front of him. Kenshin Himura. A man that didn't need any introduction, Aoshi had kept tabs on him since his arrival. Himura was a strong magic user, and was rich enough and close enough to his country's throne to have more influence in politics than almost anyone there. His kingdom was also one that was known for its powerful spell work and incantations. It was one that Aoshi hadn't thought would get involved in Yumi's petty politics. Himura was suspicious, and Aoshi had wondered what ulterior motives they might have. He almost thought it was funny that at one time he had looked at studying magic there.

Now though, it wasn't suspicious or funny. Now Aoshi was furious. He didn't know what Himura had done to his sister, but he'd sensed her come undone when she'd spotted the man. Aoshi let his magic flare out over the top of his sister's head, an easy feat considering her stature, and took in Himura and his allies. He'd felt Himura's magic, the way it had curled around Kaoru, the way it had possessively reached for her heart. His free hand unintentionally curled into a fist. How long had he been preying on his sister? And how had Himura gotten past his defenses? Aoshi knew that he was weaker magically, but he also knew that the spells had been perfect. He'd worked long enough and hard enough on them to be certain of that.

"Stay away from her Himura."

His voice was soft but forceful, and he could tell by the other two standing with Himura that he'd been heard. Their energies had vibrated fractionally, and then turned toward the man between them. Aoshi sensed Himura's magic contort then straighten, and knew that he didn't like being told what to do.

"Kamiya, I think that perhaps we did not meet under the right circumstances."

Aoshi knew an apology when he heard one, but he was too angry to care. He could read Himura, could tell that he was serious about expressing regret. It didn't matter. Himura had played with his sister, had toyed with her. She was crying now, sobbing against his chest in abject misery. And it would not happen again.

"If I even sense you near her, you will regret it."

He didn't bother with threats, he spoke only facts. If Himura approached his sister, he would kill or seriously injure Himura. It was simple as that.

"I understand what you're saying."

Himura's voice was level, but Aoshi could feel the barely restrained irritation. Aoshi didn't bother to reply to his words, simply swept his sister up into his arms and turned. She wrapped one arm around his neck, and left the other one in his shirt. Her ear continued to press itself against his chest.

"Kamiya." Aoshi stopped at Himura's calling. "I would never harm her."

Aoshi ignored the seemingly knowing comment and continued down the hallway. He knew better than to believe what anyone said. He knew from experience that no one really wanted to help them. Ever. As time went on, life slowly deteriorated into a heap of agonizing and debilitating memories. And even now, Yumi had found a new way to dig her claws in and destroy what had been the last remnants of his life. Adjusting his sister in his arms, he bit back the sudden pain the action caused in his back. He stamped down the nausea and took a deep breath. Kaoru let out a soft breath of distress, and Aoshi cradled her closer. Focusing on the one thing that kept him going, he let his magic add a slight compulsion for sleep to the spell he already had going.

Aoshi had to keep Himura away from his sister, no matter how powerful he was. He needed to hold Yumi at bay as well. The woman had grown only sicker as the years had past. And all he wanted to do was run away with his sister as fast as he could.

He put Kaoru back to bed and shut the door quietly behind him.

AN: ALL RIGHT! Chapter Five is done! Whoaaaaa….. Not going to lie- 'flowage' in this chapter is not really the way I like it. And actually…I'm actually already editing the next chapter too. It should be up by Sunday. Well, please feel free to review and have an awesome holiday!

NEXT TIME: Aoshi and Yumi spend some quality time together… Misao finally makes an appearance, and Kaoru frets.