Chapter 9-Reconciliation

It didn't take Lottie long to decide that she couldn't go back to the palace. She'd quarreled with Mama, and though she'd apologized, she still didn't feel ready to return. So, she went to the stable instead, and saddled up her horse, Jules. They walked together through the town but once they reached the bridge, Lottie gave Jules her head, and she immediately went flying through the woods. Lottie clung to Jules' rains, attempting to fight back her tears. She couldn't do it. She felt so horrible about what she'd done to both Tom and her family that she buried her face in Jules' mane and sobbed.

Jules' continued to run through obediently, but Lottie was too blinded by her tears to notice where they were going. What have I done? she thought. What have I done?

Just ruined her own life, that was all. She'd moaned about how annoying her life could be, but it truly was in the mire now. She'd yelled at her sweet mother, yelled at her friend….She was a terrible person. She berated herself over and over for her mistake, and she wished she could just rewind the entire day and do it over.

Eventually, Jules stopped, exhausted, and Lottie slid off her back. She curled up on the ground and continued to cry, not even bothering to tie up Jules. She knew she wouldn't run away. Her Jules was as loyal as horses came. Sure enough, Jules came over and started nuzzling her hair.

At least there was someone in the world who didn't hate her. Surely Mama did and now Tom too. Tears trickled down her cheeks when she thought about how she'd yelled at him. How could she have done that? He was only trying to help her, and she'd practically attacked him. She could admit now that he was even probably right about her jealously. She already felt so sorry about their fight, but she didn't know what to do. Tom was the only friend she'd ever had and she'd completely alienated him. How could he ever forgive her?

Maybe she could tell him how right he was, about everything, about her, about her family, about life. One sentence he'd said back when they first met repeated itself over and over again:

Well, don't be surprised if one day it all comes out sideways and backfires on you…..

He was right. Why was he always right? She'd shoved everything down under a placid exterior, and now…now with one stupid move all that she'd tried to hide had exploded on her, and her whole family. Why hadn't she listened to him?

Because she was angry. Because she thought her way was better. Because she didn't want to admit that she was jealous. Because she was stupid. Oh, why couldn't she have kept her mouth shut?

The one time she'd finally told the truth, it'd had blown up on her. See, she thought sourly. That was precisely why she always told lies. A small prickling told her that it wasn't that she told the truth, but rather the way she'd said it. She'd been rude. In her anger, she'd said hurtful words that she'd do anything to take back. She rolled over on her stomach and sobbed into the grass.

She didn't know how long she'd cried, but eventually she felt raindrops falling on her head and the sky was dark. She looked up, and Jules neighed softly. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "Yes, Jules, we can go home."

She didn't want to, but anything was better than staying out in the rain.

XxXxXxX

The castle was quiet when she returned, and she figured everyone was in bed. She checked her clock and shook her head. No small wonder that, it was about midnight. Lottie changed out of her wet clothes and put on dry ones, and climbed into her bed. But she couldn't sleep, and so she just lay on her bed for hours. She was just too worked up, and she replayed over and over the horrible scenes with both Tom and Mama.

What was she going to do now?

She shut her eyes. Maybe if she did, she'd think of something to do.

Hours later, she had finally thought of something and her eyes popped open. Rapunzel. Surely she must have fought with Eugene at least once. Maybe she'd know what to do. She quickly jumped off her bed, and headed for Rapunzel's room. She knew it was early, but hopefully her sister would see her.

She did, though she noticed that Rapunzel kept rubbing her eyes sleepily. "Lottie," she said in surprise. "What-…." She noticed her stricken face. "Is everything all right?"

She sniffled at her sister's kindness. "Can I talk to you?"

She opened the door wider. "Of course. Come in." Rapunzel let her in and they both settled down on her bed. "So what's on your mind, Lottie?"

With that opening, Lottie poured out the whole story. Of course, she didn't tell Rapunzel everything, such as the fact that she was jealous of her. But she said that she had quarreled with her friend, Tom, and she didn't know what to do. Rapunzel listened to her intently, saying nothing until she finished. "I think we need to go straight to the source," she said seriously.

"The source?" she repeated in confusion.

"Yes, come on," Rapunzel said. "Follow me."

Lottie followed her sister to another door and she knocked on the door. "Eugene?" she called softly. "Eugene!" Lottie frowned in confusion. They were seeing Eugene? That didn't make sense to her at all.

No sounds came from behind the door. Finally she heard footsteps, and the unbolting of the lock. A tired looking Eugene opened the door, with slightly mused up hair. "What is it, Rapunzel?" he asked wearily. "Don't you know it's only…6:30 in the morning?"

"I know, Eugene," Rapuzel said kindly. "But Lottie here has a problem."

His eyes settled on her, and she flushed. "And I can help her?" He didn't sound annoyed, but rather confused. She felt confused herself. How could he help?

"Yes!" Rapunzel exclaimed. "Tell him, Lottie."

At Rapunzel's prompting, Lottie told him the same thing that she had told Rapunzel. He listened patiently just like Rapunzel had.

"I think she should do what we do when we fight, Eugene," said Rapunzel once she had finished.

The tops of Eugene's ears turned red. "I don't think that would quite work, Blondie," he said quietly.

"Why not?" Rapunzel asked. "I love it when we kiss after a fight."

Now his cheeks were red. It was pretty amusing, but she decided to step in and help Eugene out. "I can't go up to Tom and kiss him, Rapunzel."

"Why not?"

"Because we're not in a romantic relationship," she explained. "We're just friends."

Rapunzel looked at her levelly. "Are you?"

Lottie felt off guard by her sister's question. The way she asked it made her feel like there was something so obvious about the two of them that she was a fool not to notice. Well, she would have been stupid to not notice the spark between them, but that didn't mean that they should pursue some romance. Right? She made herself answer Rapunzel. "Yes," she stammered.

"Well, I think you're being silly," she declared. "Tom sounds wonderful. You would be-…"

"Rapunzel," warned Eugene. In that moment, Lottie had never been so grateful for Eugene's presence. She felt as she were in a corral being cornered by a raging bull. She was glad he was there to ward her off.

But Rapunzel either didn't notice the warning or decided not to heed it. "You'll make a big mistake if you don't at least think about it, and-…"

Eugene's voice escalated. "Rapunzel!"

"No, it's okay," Lottie said slowly. She didn't to be the cause of tension between the two of them. "You've both given me some things to think about."

"Good," Eugene said. "And you know there's always the sure 'I'm sorry', Lottie."

I'm sorry…..Two simple words, yet so hard to say. That is, most of the time. But right now Lottie did feel so sorry that she might be able to do it. She had been wrong. "Of course. Thank you both," she said.

Rapunzel smiled. "Any time! I like helping people, don't you, Eugene?"

Eugene was in the middle of a yawn that he wasn't quite able to hide behind his hand. "Yes, of course. When it's at a decent hour, that is."

Rapunzel let out a little giggle. "Okay, Eugene, I get it. Lottie and I will go now so you can get more sleep."

Eugene muttered something that Lottie couldn't quite distinguish, and shut the door, leaving her with Rapunzel.

Her sister turned to her. "I still think Tom would be a good beau for you."

Lottie didn't know what to say to that, so she said nothing. Instead, she told her that she'd see her later at breakfast, and then set out for Tom's house. While she walked, she tried to think of what to say and she came up with an entire speech that even her tutors would have been impressed with.

Soon she reached his house and she made herself knock. Maybe it was too early, she thought. Maybe she should come back later….

Just then Tom opened the door, and her heart pounded. "Lottie." His face was unreadable, but he wasn't slamming the door in her face. That was a good sign….right?

Her speech had been perfect. Too bad she couldn't remember any of it now that she was face to face with him. "Tom," she said hesitantly. "I just…..I just…." She swallowed hard. "I just….."

His expression didn't change. "Yes?"

Her mind frantically searched for something to say. "I'm sorry," she said simply. "I'm so sorry, Tom." She desperately hoped that Eugene was right, that an 'I'm sorry' would work and he wouldn't be angry with her anymore. Besides, everything in her brilliant speech came down to those two words anyway. I'm sorry….

His expression softened and he held out his arms. She rushed into them. How did he know that a hug was exactly what she needed right now? She buried her faced in his shoulder, fighting back tears. His arms went around her, and she relished it. His hug was as comforting to her as a warm blanket in the winter and she felt rather sorry when he let go of her.

"Would you like to come in?" he asked.

"Yes please," she said softly.

He started making a pot of something, and she could only hope it was tea. She wasn't particularly fond of coffee, but she knew he was. It was one of the first things he'd told her in their "Speak" game. He turned around to look at her with a smile. "Tea okay?"

"Perfect."

He handed her cup of tea, and sat down across from her. He just looked at her and she knew that was her cue to start talking. "You were right," she admitted. "I am jealous." She prepared herself mentally for the "I told you so" that would follow.

But he didn't say that. Instead he looked at her with kindness. "Why?"

"It's just….," she said, searching for the words. "Everyone likes her. Everyone. She's bouncy, and cute, and perky..." And never depressed or grumpy like me, she thought. No wonder everyone would rather be around Rapunzel than her. She was probably as fun as the plague.

"And?" he prompted gently.

"And I just feel like everyone will always like her better than me," she confessed. "She's most likely prettier too." With her cute brown hair and huge green eyes, Rapunzel was almost the mirror image of their beautiful mother.

"I see." He was silent for a minute, and she wondered what he thinking. She was surprised at much she wanted to know, but his opinion had truly begun to matter to her. "Well," he said finally. "I don't know her personally, so I can't comment on her cuteness, perkiness, or bounciness. But there's one thing I know for sure."

"Yes?" she whispered.

He smiled. "She can't be prettier than you."

Her cheeks went hot at the compliment, yet she was undeniably pleased. He thought she was pretty! "Um, thank you."

"Sure.' He looked at her thoughtfully. "Can I be honest with you?"

Somehow she knew that he'd give her another lecture, and she prepared herself for it. But she wouldn't get upset and run away this time. She realized he was just trying to help. "Please do."

"You've got to stop comparing yourself with your sister, Lottie," he said firmly. "If you compare her great qualities with ones you don't like about yourself, you're always going to come up short. You'll always be in the shadow of her, whether you truly are or not."

He was right about that, of course. Why was he always right? "It's so hard to stop comparing," she said finally. "Especially when my sister is Rapunzel. "

"Yes?"

"And I just feel like I'm boring compared with her," she said. "I'm responsible, dependable…you can count on me."

"And that's bad?"

"No, I guess not," she admitted. Dependability really wasn't a bad thing. "But I just feel like I'm kind of…I don't know. Boring. Passive." He started laughing and she frowned. Here she was, pouring out her heart to him, and all he could do was laugh? "I'm glad I'm amusing you."

"I'm sorry-…" he said, even though he didn't sound too sorry to her. "It's just…you sure weren't boring when you yelled at me the other day. And passive you are not."

"But I usually do what people want me to do!' she protested.

"That doesn't mean you're passive," he said. "I think you need to just find your voice." He took of a sip of his coffee. "And speaking of which, I have something that I think you should do, but I don't think you're going to like it."

She probably wouldn't. "What is it?"

"You need to tell your parents how you feel," he said. "And I'd talk to your sister too."

She gaped at him, her eyes wide. "And say what exactly?" Had he lost his mind?

"Tell them that since your sister came back that you feel like they've ignored you except when they ask you to do something and that the lack of celebration on your birthday deeply hurt you."

"And my sister?"

"Tell her the truth."

XxXxXxXx

Tom's words to her echoed in Lottie's head long after he'd said them. Talk to your parents….tell the truth. She shook her head. He made it sound so easy. Yet it was very hard to do. How could she tell her parents that she was upset about all the attention that they paid to Rapunzel? Tom was crazy, that's all there was too it. But, she reminded herself, she hadn't told him that she'd been gone for eighteen years. Surely he'd understand if she didn't tell them….

On second thought, he probably would still tell to talk to them. It was the way he was. He always challenged her to do the impossible. Maybe she should. What was the worst thing could happen?

Plenty,she told herself. Plenty! Papa could grow quiet, and say that he was very disappointed in her. She cringed. That would be even worse than him yelling at her! And Mama…Mama could cry and say the same. She hated making Mama cry just as much as she hated disappointing her Papa. What could she do?

Yet she realized that she did not want to disappoint Tom either. He meant so much to her, and she knew he only had her best interests in mind. So with great trepidation, she walked to her parents' room and knocked on the door.

Papa answered, and she could see Mama stitching something in the background. "Lottie," Papa said.

"Can I come in?" she asked hesitantly. "I have something I need to tell you."

XxXxXxXx

Lottie thought later that her talk with her parents went even better than she could have hoped. They both had listened quietly, and when she'd finished both of them embraced her.

"I'm so sorry, dear," Mama had said. "I didn't know you were feeling so….underappreciated. But I hope you know how much we both love you."

Papa had agreed. "You're so dependable, Lottie, that sometimes we forget that you need us just as much as Rapunzel does."

She cried then, and they both hugged her closer telling her how much they had appreciated all she'd done in the past few months, and they hoped that she would be more honest in the future. She promised she would.

Tom had been right to tell her to do this. She already felt much better now that she'd cleared the air with her parents. Now it was time for her to talk to Rapunzel. She looked for her and found Rapunzel and Eugene sitting close together in the garden, their hands entwined. They didn't appear to be talking, but just enjoying each other's company. Clearly they were having their own private moment, and she started to walk away. She didn't want to interrupt.

But she heard Rapunzel call her. "Lottie?"

She turned to face them. Rapunzel didn't look too upset at the disturbance because she was smiling. Of course it seemed like she was always smiling, but Eugene didn't look too mad either. He gave her a small grin. "Yes," she said. "I'm sorry to bother you. I just had-…"

"You're no bother at all," said Rapunzel. "Right, Eugene?" She nudged him with her elbow when he didn't respond right away.

"Right," he said, though he sounded a little less convinced than Rapunzel did.

Rapunzel gestured to the spot next to her. "Come, sit."

Gingerly, she sat next to her sister, though she didn't miss that Eugene had let go of her hand. She wished she could tell them that it didn't bother her, but she was quiet.

"What did you want to talk about?" asked Rapunzel.

She wasn't sure how to start. Start at the beginning, she could hear Tom say in her head. "Well," she said slowly. "I have to admit something to you." Her cheeks felt hot. "It's kind of embarrassing."

"I'm listening."

"Rapunzel," she said. "I love that you're home, and I'm so glad you're my sister, but…." A huge lump settled in her throat and she looked away. "But I have to admit that I've been jealous of you and all the attention you get. I feel left out and unimportant." Tears burned at the back of her eyes, but she forced herself to continue. "And I feel so horrible for feeling this way, because you don't deserve it." Finally she couldn't hold back the tears anymore. She put her face in her hands and cried.

Soon Rapunzel's arms were around her. "Shhhh…."

"I'm…I'm sorry for being such a terrible sister," she sobbed. She felt another hand on her back, and she could only guess it was Eugene's. His kindness made her cry even harder. She'd been horrid to him too! She kept crying and crying, crying for how guilty she felt. Crying for all the times she'd been mean in the past months.

After some time, she stopped and she glanced up both of them. They each wore a concerned look on their faces. She wiped her eyes. "Thank you," she said shakily.

"Of course," said Rapunzel gently.

"It's understandable to be upset," Eugene offered. "I'm sure it's hard being an only child your whole life and then bam! You're not."

"It is…." she said, finally gaining control on her emotions again. "But I've still been beastly." Her eyes fixed on Eugene's. "Especially to you, Eugene. I'm so sorry."

He shifted in his seat. "It's okay," he said awkwardly. "I understand." Then he glanced up at Rapunzel and he grinned. "I knew I'd win you over eventually. Just like your sister."

She watched in amusement as Rapunzel playfully smacked him. "Well, you couldn't resist me either!"

He smiled good-naturedly and held out his hands. "It's true," he admitted. "You're irresistible, Blondie. "

A cute smirk made its way to her face. "It was the glowing hair in the cave, wasn't it?"

"No," he said. "I think it was the frying pan."

They looked at each other and burst out laughing at some private joke that Lottie wanted to know too.

"Okay, okay," she said. "Lottie's feeling a little left out here. Do you want to let me in on the story?"

They turned to her and smiled. "Sure!" Rapunzel said.

"But I get to tell it," he said. "I tell stories the best!"

"Fine," Rapunzel agreed.

"Well, Lottie," Eugene began dramatically. "This is the story of how I died….."

XxXxXxXx

When Lottie returned to her room later that night, she couldn't help but think about Tom. Sometimes, like right now, she was starting to believe that Rapunzel might be on to something- that maybe she did feel something for Tom that wasn't just platonic friendship. When she thought yesterday that he might hate her forever because of their fight, she wanted to curl up and die somewhere. She didn't think she could do without his friendship in her life. She needed him-needed his support and advice. He was handsome, smart, funny…wonderful. Her heart pounded whenever he touched her.

So was she in love with him?

She needed to find the answer to that question.

Before she went to sleep that night, she scribbled a note to him, thanking him for everything he did.

XxXxXxXx

That same night, Tom was thinking about Lottie too. He thought about how much he loved her-because he knew that he did. He knew that like he knew the sun would rise every morning. Sometime in between their long chats and walks, he'd fallen in love with her.

He wasn't surprised. When she'd ran into him that day a few months ago, he'd known that she was something special, and his feeling had solidified the more he got to know her. The funny thing, he thought, was that she didn't seem to be aware of it herself. She seemed only conscious of her shortcomings, never seeing her strengths as a daughter, sister, and friend. She thought her dependability made her boring, and he couldn't disagree more. Being dependable meant that you could trust that person- that they would do what was right, despite their personal feelings.

Like Lottie did.

Besides that, she always supported his writing. His family never did. They wanted him to go into the family business, and he'd have nothing of it. Being a…councilor like his father had never appealed to him, and neither did being a lord. It did to his younger brother though, and he'd quickly become the favored one. Tom didn't mind a bit. He could have all of those trappings, and so he'd left and moved here. The only thing he missed was his family's support for him.

But Lottie supported him. She thought that being a writer was amazing, and she encouraged him to write a book. He was writing one, but he wasn't sure she knew it was about her.

For the next hour or so, he wrote, lost in the world of his story. But he grew tired and after finishing a chapter, he decided to call a night. Just before Tom went to bed though, he received a note from the palace messenger. He quickly read it. It was only a few words, after all.

Dear Tom,

I did it. Thank you for everything.

-Lottie

He smiled. He was proud of her. He knew that it couldn't have been easy for her but she had done it anyway.

Just like he knew she would.