My fanfic is receiving a lot of feedback, and A few edits have been made to Chapter one from the reviews I've received. It may be worth a reread ;)
You awake with a start, eyes instantly blinded by the light shining on your face. You find yourself instinctively curling into a ball to shield yourself from the unwelcome whiteness. The gossipy cawing of birds and the delicate lapping of water invades your sensitive ears, and you groan. You feel awful. A headache pounds around your head like a hyperactive child, and even the gentle noises surrounding you cause you some significant discomfort. You're lying on what feels like a soft bed of feathers, if only slightly lumpier than one would usually experience. You shuffle slightly in discomfort, and a fragrant perfume swirls into your nostrils. It's very… pleasant. Lush and alive! You take a deep experimental whiff. Wait a moment. Grass?
It smells like grass.
You suspiciously open an eye, taking in your surroundings.
Trees. Gnarled and ugly, but somehow maintaining a beauty of some other time. They loom over you, blocking out the night time sky with thick, mossy leaves.
Mushrooms. The floor is scattered with translucent fungi, waving slowly and hypnotically in a none existent breeze
A small river is trickling with fresh looking water. What little light that is successfully penetrating the woodland floor bounces and sparkles on its surface, twinkling like sapphires.
It seems you are in some sort of untamed meadow, but that's not important. There's something far more important invading your mind and filling you with a sick sense of dread.
The river. You need to get to the river.
You clamber quickly to your feet. A mistake. Your head gives a protesting throb of pain and you wince, but stumble towards the trickling water carefully on four shaking legs.
It's difficult. The crowing of birds seems to intensify as you finally reach the river and look at the reflection that greets you.
His eyes are so bloodshot it's difficult to tell their true colour. Blue? Grey? Too early to tell.
A spiky brown mane covered in twigs and grass blades. The pony looks like he's been sleeping rough for weeks.
The pony in your reflection grimaces with confusion, unable to understand.
"Who am I?" You say out loud.
"Who am I?"
Derpy and Whooves were both dealing with the unstable flight in their own ways. Whooves had his front hooves wrapped around the Console's guardrail and was whooping happily; Derpy meanwhile, was simply letting the ship toss her around like a ragdoll, completely unfazed as she was sent crashing into several different objects ranging from a battered sofa, to an actual wall. She screamed with delight as the entire room rumbled and spun with random abandon, she grinned as Doctor Whooves was sent flying from the console after one partially violent shudder and laughed along with him as she pulled him to his hooves, only for both of them to be sent reeling again as the TARDIS's flight continued to grow ever more and more unstable.
"It's alright!" The Doctor yelled over the gasping and wheezing VWORP VWORP of the engines as he clamoured again to an upright position and resumed his losing wrestling match with the wild controls. "It's fine! She does that sometimes! It's all under control!"
Another loud boom that sent the room spinning.
"I'm fairly sure it's under control!"
"This is so much fun!" Derpy cried enthusiastically over the din of the TARDIS's flight. The Pegasus attempted to clamber off the floor and take flight, only to be tossed sideways and land in a pile of limbs and wings on the floor again.
"Almost there!" Whooves cried his dark brown mane was sticking out at all angles, giving him a distinctly mad aura as he continued to stab the controls with abandon.
"Don't stop me nooooow!" He began to sing at the top of his lungs, clinging madly to the control panel as the room's spinning began again. "I'm having such a good time! I'm having a baaaaaall!"
Another series of rumbles and groans, and Derpy found herself rolling across the floor, she grabbed on to what looked like some kind of support strut to steady herself.
"Here we go!" Doctor Whooves cried. "Hold on to your wings!"
The TARDIS came to a sudden stillness with one last almighty boom, comparable to the roar a pony would receive after awakening a Dragon from a decade long nap.
Derpy pried herself off the strut only to fall flat on her back, her wings and legs spread-eagled across the metal mesh flooring. She closed her golden eyes for a moment to regain her breath.
She heard the clop-clop of the Doctor's Whooves growing louder and found herself being pulled to her feet. She opened her eyes lazily to find his perfect blue ones staring back.
"We're here," He informed her with a sparkling grin.
"Where? Where? Where?" She asked, favouring him with her own lopsided smile.
"No idea!" Whooves replied happily, the idea seemed to fill him with the hyperactivity of a young foal.
"AHA!" Whooves shouted overloudly, turning his back on the Pegasus. "I need my arm belt! Dead useful. You can never have enough pockets, Derpy! Always carry spare!"
He turned his attention towards the control panel for a moment, and suddenly produced a small intricately detailed leather strap, with several small pouches sewn to it from a drawer hidden beneath one of the panels. With one fluid motion, the strap was wrapped around his right hoof and he was strutting across the floor towards the door, Derpy flapping eagerly behind him.
"Anything could be out those doors Derpy! We could find ourselves at the great Ice rainforests of Sabier, where the waterfalls are comprised of billions upon billions of diamonds that glisten and sparkle under the light of three blue suns!"
The Doctor started skipping towards the TARDIS door with Derpy overhead, her face gleaming with excitement.
"We might arrive at the white sand beaches of Lumonis, where the sand is like silk! Or the founding of the Crystal Kingdom! We might even be slap bang in the middle of Discord's realm of chaos, where the rain is chocolate milk and day and night last ten seconds each!"
The two were now practically charging towards the door like two eager puppies.
"But today Derpy, today! We are in…."
He threw open the TARDIS doors with a kick.
"Oh." He said.
Derpy peered out from behind the Earth Pony, and gasped at the familiar view that greeted her.
The skies were a perfect sapphire blue, the grass a bright healthy emerald. The sweet smelling air reached Derpy's nostrils and she took a deep, long sniff. Curiosity drove her on and she gently pushed the immobile Whooves out of the way with one of her wings.
"Oh." She said.
"Well this is awkward." Whooves muttered.
I've been a little bit cheeky and chopped this chapter in half since there's some big changes I want to add to the latter so it's going to take a few more days. Gotta keep the updates coming!
REVIEW TIME!
Llama Parfait – Wow! High praise indeed! Thank you for the very kind review. I'm glad to know you will be reading!
TheeBrony – More is going on with the "Doctor" than anyone realizes as the moment….
Cylon One – Thank you for two very positive reviews!
Finally, I wanted to say this: A few PM's and reviews seem to think that this story is simply going to be a ponified version of Rise of the Cybermen from series 2 of New Doctor who. It is not. And that is not my intention. The story does take some elements of Rise of the Cybermen, and the doctor who show. (How could I not?) But the story will be taking it's own journey. Doctor Whooves is NOT a Time lord Pony. No Aliens, no sonic screwdriver, no pre knowledge of the Cyberponies or the wisdom of a 900 year old time traveller. Doctor Whooves is just starting out on this journey. Even the TARDIS isn't everything that it seems on the surface...
Thanks for reading!