A/N – Thanks again to those reading & reviewing this story. I hope you continue to enjoy it. Apologies for the shortness of this chapter, but I wanted to get what was completed up by today. Chapter 5, which I have already started on, will be much longer!

Chapter 4 – My heart is in your hands

September 13th 1979

Santa Monica, California

Donna shaded her eyes against the afternoon sun as she looked out at the water. She was seated on a sun bed, in a sarong and halter neck tank top.

Jackie was wading in knee deep water in a fuchsia coloured swimsuit. She looked a million miles away.

Donna had called Mrs Forman twice in the past few days to check if Hyde was back yet. He wasn't.

'Come back and give her a chance to explain, you idiot' Donna sent a mental message to Hyde.

It had taken them a couple of days to make it across the country to California by bus. They had spent the last 3 or 4 days mostly at the beach.

They walked, swam, talked and dozed in the sun.

In the evenings, when Midge was back from work, she would take the girls out to enjoy a bit of the nightlife. Although both girls appreciated the change of scene as being good for them, they knew they were only going through the motions of having a great time.

They each were fighting their own demons.

Jackie was living with the constant thought that she had potentially wrecked her relationship with the guy who was in all probability the love of her life. And the fact that Hyde had come with a ring in his pocket to Chicago only made her cry more now for what might have been. Every day that went by without reconciliation made it less likely that they would get through this with no lasting scars.

Donna, on the other hand, thought she was closer now to understanding Eric's thinking when he took the impulsive Africa decision. She knew how much it meant to him to be a good provider. He needed to work on that goal before he took on being a husband and father.

But she missed him terribly.

And the fact that he had taken the decision without talking to her about it first still hurt a little …some days, more than a little.

She watched as Jackie walked back up the beach and sank into the sunbed next to her. When had the whiney schoolgirl who had walked into the basement with Kelso, grown into such a striking young woman? Donna wondered. Both Kelso and Hyde were fools.

Well, at least they hadn't suddenly decided to up and leave America ….or ever left Jackie standing at the altar for that matter….

Jackie interrupted her train of thought and she was actually quite grateful for that.

'Want some sun cream, Donna?'

Jackie slathered herself generously with the cream and lay back closing her eyes against the sun.

They were both in a quiet mood that day.

The previous evening they had been walking by the beach, on their way back home, when suddenly Donna had asked,

'Jackie, do you think you maybe, still have some feelings for Kelso?'

The minutes had felt like hours as Donna had waited for an answer.

Jackie Burkhart stuck for words?

She had almost thought perhaps Jackie wouldn't answer and she was going to say something else, when she got her reply,

'I love Steven, Donna.'

Donna had nodded. They could talk more about it when Jackie was ready, she had decided.

They had almost reached home when Donna spoke up again. Jackie could barely hear her, the statement was almost whispered.

'I'm still so mad at him, Jackie'

Jackie had taken only a few seconds to reply. Her voice had been kind.

'You're not mad at him, Donna. You just wish you were. And the fact that you're not mad at all scares the hell out of you…'

It was getting a bit cooler on the beach as evening approached. Jackie was dozing.

Donna decided to let her nap a short while before they headed back home. She took out some papers from her tote bag. She still hadn't read most of the stuff Eric had written for her before he left.

Donna, I know you're still upset with me about this decision. I can see it in your eyes even as you help me pack and kiss me back every time I pull you to me.

I'll try and explain myself more as I write this. But first, I need to talk to you about the one thing that still keeps me awake at night, the one thing that if only I could somehow take back and do differently, I would. I'm talking about the way I left before our wedding …

Remember how excited we were when we first set the date for the wedding. We had both been so disappointed about not being able to leave for Madison after Dad's heart attack. I loved that you stayed back for me, but guilt started nagging away at me when I saw you going to classes at the local junior college. I had to make it all up to you and soon.

Setting the date at the time made everything seem back on track again. I was thrilled about the thought of us going to Madison shortly after our wedding; introducing you to everyone we met on campus, as my wife.

But as the weeks flew by, I was starting to realise how far apart reality and day dreams were. It was becoming more and more clear that Dad and Mom were digging into their savings & that Dad wasn't going to be able to go back to a job again. He had started talking about starting a new business of some kind and I knew it would take money. I didn't want to face this Issue, right then, I think.

I was trying to pretend like everything was alright and hoping that the money for college would somehow magically appear when I asked for it.

But I think somehow you picked up on what was happening in the Forman household without me even having to say anything. Wasn't that why overnight, you abandoned your college plans? Because you knew I wouldn't be going anytime soon, even before I had worked that out …..

I saw you convince yourself that your job at the radio station was your dream job. You stopped talking about those writing courses that you had always wanted to take at University, telling yourself that you didn't really want that anymore.

But worse was still to come. Even if we had forgotten about college – only because I didn't have the funds for my admission, I still had no concrete plans for our life in Point Place or elsewhere. When we visited the Trailer park house, it was like the walls of the place crashed down on my head and I was suddenly thinking clearly.

Not only had you at first put off college for me, you were now going to forsake it semi permanently. And not only were you forsaking it for me, but all I was offering you in return was life in a rough neighbourhood within a small town that you had grown up hating.

I wished then that I had at least taken up one of those bank jobs on offer at our senior year job fair. I wished I had something more on hand right then that what I did, which was nothing.

Donna, I wasn't intending to not show up when I drove into a bar at a town whose name I don't even remember. I was going to get a few drinks for courage and come back to talk things over with you.

But the more I sat there, the more I knew what the right answer was. I needed to have more to offer you before I got down on one knee.

I was sure I had gone about things backward. And that there was only one way left now to set things right.

I was surprised at how sure I was that you would understand, that you wouldn't break up with me over the wedding being called off.

But I know I should have come back immediately and not stayed away for 2 days.

Please believe me when I say this, but there was only one thought left in my mind after I had decided about the wedding. How could I make this less painful for you?

It might have been the cheap beer that muddled my thinking right then, but it seemed obvious to me then that if I stayed away, all the anger our parents had at the 'irresponsibleness' of calling off a wedding the day before, would be directed solely at me.

I had already lived all my life with Red's less than stellar opinion of my decision making skills. I didn't want you to come into the family with a cloud over your head as well. Staying away meant that everyone would only remember me as the one who ran away, and not the two of us as being indecisive.

I'm sorry Donna, I think I'll probably be apologising to you about this when we're like 80 ….God, I hope our grandkids won't be calling me a dumbass because I left you standing alone at the church that day.

I'll make it up to you Donna, I promise…

There was more but she was crying too much to be able to continue reading. Thank god, Jackie was still asleep.

She quickly wiped the tears that had started coming down the minute she had started reading.

By the time Jackie awoke, she was ready with a smile on her face. There was a spring in her step as they walked back that day and she found Jackie's opinions on her lumberjack wardrobe funnier than usual.

1978

Point Place, Wisconsin

It was exactly a month since they had come back from California. Eric was finally through with being grounded by Red. He could drive his Cruiser again. The ban on going out in the evenings and weekends was, at last, over as well.

It was Wednesday though; he figured he would have to wait till Friday to take Donna out for an evening alone, since her school night curfew was part of her 'punishment' for running away to California, along with having to go to Catholic school.

They were on the couch in the basement, just the two of them, watching TV.

The others were just out in the driveway, shooting some hoops. They would be back in a few minutes, before 'Charlie's Angels' started.

Suddenly, Donna said 'Eric, let's go out tonight for a drive right after dinner'

'What? What about your curfew thing?'

'It's okay. I'll make something up. It can't be that hard to convince Dad that I left my books at Jackie's house or something like that ….I'll tell him you're driving me there'

'Okay' He had a goofy grin on his face. He definitely seemed happy to go along with this impromptu plan.

She smiled. ' I just felt like doing ….some stuff'

'What kinda stuff does Milady have in mind' He was leaning into her now, still with the goofy smile on his face.

So, he wanted to know right now, did he? Fine, as long as he could handle it, she thought.

'Well, I won't tell you exactly what I have in mind right now, but it goes something like this…..'

She lifted his hand and brought it to her mouth. Without breaking eye contact, she slipped the pad of his middle finger between her lips and licked it.

Her lips curved upward a little at his sharp intake of breath. The grin had completely disappeared. He looked almost mesmerised as she slipped his finger a little further into her mouth, sucking slowly and deliberately on it.

The air between them seemed to crackle.

He could feel himself start to tremble in anticipation; he was so turned on not just by what she was doing, but also by the look on her face while she was doing it.

He didn't think he could have pulled away or even looked away, even if his parents had walked in right then.

When she slid his finger slowly out, until only the tip was between her lips and then sucked it in again, he looked almost as if he were in pain.

'Donna' His voice was so low; it was heavy with arousal. The sound of it sent shivers through her; she felt an ache start in the pit of her stomach.

'It's time to watch Fez's Angels!' It was the others coming down the stairs to the basement with Fez leading the pack.

Donna reacted instantly. Dropping Eric's hand back onto his lap, she leaned back against his other arm which was slung over the back of the couch. She focussed her attention on the TV.

She could feel the tension in her boyfriend's lanky frame as he literally fought to calm himself before the others walked in. His right hand had moved up to the arm of the sofa and was tightly gripping it.

As an afterthought, she quickly leaned forward again and picked up a comic from the turntable, dropping it casually on his lap.

Then just as the others walked in, with Kelso talking about another UFO sighting, she whispered into Eric's ear, 'You taste so good ….'

She felt his hand squeeze a painful warning at her shoulder.

'Charlie's Angels' was on now. Jackie was on Hyde's lap and was probably the only one who had picked up on the sexual tension in the air when they had come in. Her eyes connected with Donna's for a second, she gave the tiniest hint of a knowing smile.

The brunette then turned her attention to the TV without a word and Donna was grateful that she hadn't taken the opportunity to burn her or Eric.

She knew she had come close to blue balling her man. But she hadn't meant to, she had been driving herself crazy thinking about 'stuff' the whole day.

There were things she hadn't been ready for yet before their break up. She knew she was ready now. Just thinking about it had built up her anticipation through the day and she had wanted to share some of that with him.

She would make it up to him tonight ….

She started counting the minutes before dinner would be over and she knew he would be counting too….