Posy leaned back in the chair of the Hovercraft. At six years old, this was kind of fun. The chair she sat in was high-backed and white with holes in the arm rests for a glass. Across from her sat Rory. At 13 years old, he was aware of what had happened and why. He knew that he would never have to attend his own Reaping day like Gale had. He knew that Prim had been killed by a bomb in the courtyard of President Snow's mansion. He'd also heard whispered conversations about Katniss blaming his older brother for it.
But Posy knew nothing. She knew there'd been a war and it had kept her oldest brother very busy for months. She knew the war was over and that they were all going to District 2 for a vacation.
"Play cards with me, Rory." She said, breaking the silence they'd been enduring since take-off. Rory shrugged.
"I'm not in the mood." Posy pouted at this. She looked around for someone else to entertain her. Vick was sound asleep in his chair, his head lolling to the side. Posy twisted in her seat, fighting the seatbelt her mother had done up for her. She couldn't see Gale or Hazelle anywhere. And no one else Posy knew was on the Hovercraft with them.
"Please Ror," she asked without whining. In the past year, Posy had grown up a lot. She didn't whine or beg anymore. She still had her brothers wrapped around her finger but she tried not to ask for too much. Rory rolled his eyes.
"Fine, but only one game." He warned. With one magic press of a button, a table sprang up between them. Rory pulled a worn pack of cards from his pocket and shuffled them. Suddenly, Posy heard Gale's voice. It was cracked and strained, as if he'd been talking for a long time. Rory leaned over to see the door Gale would come in through. Posy tried shifting in her seat to see too, but her seatbelt constrained her too much.
"There may not be much room. I want you guys to go home. To our real home." Gale was telling someone.
"What about you?" That was their mother talking. Posy heard Gale sigh.
"I've been offered this job, Mom. I'm almost 20. But the kids..." Gale must've noticed Rory eavesdropping on them because he stopped talking. Posy heard his approaching footsteps and then he was standing in front of their table.
"Wanna play cards?" She asked, looking up at him. He looked tired and heartbroken. The lines in his forehead were more pronounced and he carried himself as if it was the hardest thing to do.
"Not today Pri - I mean, Posy." He sat in the seat next to Rory, rubbing his forehead. He'd almost said Prim's name. He wasn't sure if it had been his bombs that had killed her or just an unhappy mistake. Hazelle brought him some water from a drink and food bar and rubbed his shoulder.
"We'll be okay." Turning to Rory and Posy, she pasted a smile on her face. "Are you excited to see District 2?" She asked. Posy nodded solemnly. She'd caught the hesitation in Gale's answer and it scared her to see him so torn. Even during the war when they were in District 13, he'd been excited to be a part of the cause. He'd been - dare she admit it? - happy. Obviously not to be in a war, but to be changing the future in some way.
"How much longer till we get there?" Rory asked. Hazelle looked at Gale who was staring at the abandoned deck of cards on the table, seemingly lost in their numbers and suits. She sighed quietly.
"Soon, Rory. Soon," she told him. The Hovercrafts were quick and District 2 was not far away from the Capitol. Hazelle and the kids had arrived from District 13 only a few days previously to meet Gale and the Everdeens. Posy had spent the hours there with Vick and Rory. They played every quiet game they could think of and made up a few of their own. Gale was almost always with Mrs. Everdeen and Hazelle discussing his plans. A woman named Paylor was in and out every day along with Plutarch Heavensbee. Posy recognized him as the Head Gamemaker for the 3rd Quarter Quell.
"My legs hurt. Can I get up?" Posy asked her mother. Hazelle nodded a quiet assent. Posy unbuckled her seatbelt and wandered the perimeter of the room. Soon, Hazelle was waking up Vick and offering to take the boys to get some lunch in another room. It was just Gale and Posy left. After examining every button she would never be allowed to press, Posy bounded over to Gale, resting her elbows on the arm rest of his chair.
"Gale, are you excited to see District 2?" She asked. Gale smiled at her. His smile seemed so unused, like he didn't remember how to smile at all.
"I am. It's a fresh start, right?" He tapped her on the nose, making her go cross-eyed for a second.
"What are you most excited for at home?" She asked innocently. Ever since she found out they'd be returning to District 12, Posy had been running through a list of things she'd missed the most. She missed their house, their tiny vegetable garden in the front, her friends from school, she even missed going to school.
Gale sighed. He wasn't ready to tell Posy that he wasn't going with them to Twelve.
"I don't know." He answered wearily. Posy crawled onto his lap and tucked her head underneath his chin. Gale wrapped his arms around her and rested his cheek on her head. It had been a rough couple of weeks for Gale and he'd hardly seen Posy through it all.
"Please don't be sad anymore." She said. Of course, this made Gale feel worse. It felt like he was losing everyone he loved and it was his fault. He was the reason Prim wasn't alive, he hadn't held tight enough to Katniss and now she was choosing Peeta, Finnick hadn't even made it to the Capitol Square.
"I'll try." He said quietly, although he wouldn't put much effort into it. It was hard not to be sad.
"We're all going to be okay, right?" Posy asked, her voice filled with fear of their old life. A life where her mother worked from dawn till dusk, where Gale spent every day but Sunday at the mines, a life where she had no idea what the future held or if there even was a future.
"I can promise you that we will be." Gale reassured her. "Why don't you go find Mom and get some lunch." He suggested. Posy slid off his knee and walked to the door of the big room. She turned around to see Gale slumped in the chair, his eyes closed. He might have been asleep if it hadn't been for the pained expression on his face. She wanted nothing more than to take it away, to ease the pain he was feeling. But she was six years old. She barely knew what was wrong.
"I love you Gale," She called over.
"Love you too, Po." He replied without opening his eyes.
When they arrived in District 2, Posy held tightly to her mother's hand. They'd arrived in a landing area just beside the base of one of the mountains. Posy looked up to the peak of the mountain and gulped. Everything here was much bigger compared to District 12. The mountains, the houses, even the people were enormous too little Posy.
"This way, ma'am." A man in a black suit came to lead the way out of the landing area. Hazelle followed closely behind him while Gale brought up the rear. Their things were already packed into a car that would take them to Gale's new place. As they walked towards the car, the man introduced himself as Emerson. He would be driving them to the job site where a collection of apartments had been built to house the workers.
Posy liked Emerson. He was tall and thin with blonde hair and brown eyes. He smelled like vanilla and soap, and he whistled a cheerful tune the whole way to the car.
"Are you staying with us this week?" Posy asked Emerson once everyone was buckled in. He smiled, showing her a set of white teeth.
"Sorry darlin', but I've got to be back here at the landing area after I drop you off." He explained. Posy tried to hide her disappointment, but Gale - who was sitting next to her - noticed her shoulders slump. He remembered a time when he was her favourite person to be with. It didn't seem that long ago, but maybe it was.
The apartment building was 3 stories high and had 10 rooms on each floor. Gale's was located on the second floor and was one of the larger apartments. Hazelle and Gale unloaded their suitcases from the trolley while Rory and Vick went exploring. Instead of joining her brothers, Posy sat on the couch in the living area. Gale sat down next to her, surveying his new home.
"There's 3 bedrooms here, Posy. Do you want to go fight for the best one?" Gale teased. Posy smiled at him and leaped off the couch.
"Which one is the best?" She asked. Gale shrugged.
"I don't know. I haven't seen them yet." He stood up, holding out his hand for her to take. "Let's go," together they walked through the apartment. There was one room that was noticeably bigger with a double bed and wardrobe. The other two rooms both had dressers and single beds but one had a small cot that fit under the bed. At the end of the tour, Gale asked Posy which room she wanted to stay in. She thought for a moment.
"Whichever one you want. I want to stay with you this week." She explained. Gale smiled the first real and genuine smile he had in weeks. Since they wanted to room together, Gale took their things into the bigger bedroom. Rory and Vick would take turns sleeping on the cot, while Hazelle had a room to herself for once. Posy was actually excited to go to sleep that night. Gale was nearly terrified.
He'd been having nightmares ever since the Capitol had fallen. They were slightly different every night, but they always involved Prim dying, Katniss attempting to kill him in return, or something else going wrong at the Square. He wasn't still at night anymore. He was afraid of hurting his sister.
"Good night, Posy." He said, pulling the sheets over them. He lay on his back with his hands resting on his stomach. He'd decided to stay awake that night so he wouldn't have any nightmares. It was best for both of them.
"Night, Gale." Posy rested her head on his shoulder and instinctively, Gale moved his arm to wrap it around her. "I love you." She said, her eyes closed. Gale gave the top of her head a kiss. He remembered being in Katniss's house once. It seemed like so many years ago, but it was only three. There was one bed for both Prim and Katniss to share. Gale imagined they used to sleep like him and Posy were now. It pained him to think he could hold Posy tight, but Katniss couldn't do the same for her sister. And that was mostly his fault.
With his eyes wide open, Gale waited for Posy's breath to even out and become deeper. It didn't take long for her to fall asleep peacefully, in a way Gale thought he never would. Suddenly, there was a knock on their door. Gale carefully propped himself up on his elbow while still holding onto Posy. The door opened and Hazelle stood there, looking weary and exhausted.
"She's asleep?" Hazelle asked, pointing at her daughter. Gale nodded. "I told Rory and Vick that you weren't coming home with us in a week." She said regretfully. The two boys were old enough to understand why he had to stay, but Gale couldn't imagine either of them taking it well. "Vick said he wasn't going to talk to you ever again unless you promised to come back to 12. Rory..." Hazelle paused, tears pricking her eyes. "Rory seemed relieved that we were leaving you here." This caught Gale off guard. Did even his own brother blame him for the death of Prim Everdeen?
"He'll come around. He's just trying to be brave for you -" Gale tried to explain, but Hazelle put a hand up to stop him from continuing.
"He's not trying to be brave at all. I'm sorry, Gale. He won't forgive easily. You know how stubborn he is." All of this hit Gale in the stomach like a brick. Yes, his own brother hated him for something he wasn't even sure he did. "I'm sorry." His mother repeated.
"It's not your fault. None of this is." He said, but his voice was hollow. At this point, Posy twitched in her sleep, her face contorted into a frown. Gale laid back down, hoping to settle her instead of wake her.
"She's having a nightmare. You'd better wake her up." Hazelle said kindly. She started towards the door as Gale stroked Posy's arm to get her to wake up.
"Wait." He said before Hazelle closed the door. She opened it a bit more to hear him. "Will you tell her that I'm staying here?" He asked. He heard her sigh quietly, almost inaudibly.
"That's for you to do, Gale. And not because I can't bear to repeat it again or I'm scared of having another response like Rory's. But because she needs you to tell her. You are her hero, Gale. Don't be the bad guy for her." Without another word, Hazelle shut the door carefully. Gale flicked on the light and shook Posy gently.
"Wake up, Po. It's just a nightmare." He said. Her eyes snapped open and she looked up at him. Her eyes were glassy and it took a moment for her to remember where she was. "You were having a nightmare. Are you okay now?" Gale asked. In reply, Posy nodded.
"I don't remember what happened in it." Even Gale could hear how much of a lie that was. She remembered the details, she just didn't want to repeat them. And that was okay with Gale. There were things he didn't want to repeat, too.
"Listen, Posy, there's something I have to tell you." Gale started. He hated that he had to continue. He'd almost rather not tell her, but that would break her heart and he couldn't. He sighed loudly, letting all the air in his lungs out. "You're excited to go home, right?" He asked. She nodded, her eyes finally lighting up. Home was where she belonged. "Well... I'm not going with you."
For a second, he thought Posy was going to cry or scream or punch him. She just looked at him, confused beyond confusion. "What do you mean?" She asked. Gale didn't know how to explain it to her. She was only six years old, after all. And simple answers wouldn't satisfy her anymore.
"I have a job here. Like in District 12, my job was working in the mines. And in 13, my job was with Beetee. Now, I have a job in District 2. So, I'm living here." He tried. Posy looked at him, analyzing him.
"Then I'm living here, too." She said. This made Gale feel awful.
"No, you have to go back with Mom, Rory, and Vick. You can't stay here. It's not a place for little girls." He explained. This didn't make it any better.
"But it won't be home without you. I'm excited to go home, not to District 12."
"It's the same thing, Posy. I'm staying. You're going. There's no more arguing." Suddenly in a bad mood about disappointing his sister like that, Gale turned over and pretended to fall asleep. He heard Posy lie back down.
"Gale?" Her voice was small and scared. It reminded him of the sound baby rabbits made when they realized he was going to kill them and they had no where to go. He didn't respond. "I hate you." She continued, knowing he was listening. These three small words broke Gale's heart in a way it had never been broken before. It wasn't like when Katniss kissed Peeta for the first time or when she chose Peeta over himself. It was a different kind of broken and he disliked it even more.
Over the next week, Posy avoided Gale at all costs. He went to work in the morning and came home for lunch. But Posy either said she wasn't hungry when he was there or she pretended she wasn't feeling well. In a way, she wasn't feeling well. It hurt her almost as much as it hurt Gale.
By the end of the week, it was time for Hazelle and the kids to go home - to their real home. Gale gave his mother a long hug and promised to send them money once he got paid at the end of the month. He gave Rory a hug that his brother shied away from. Vick returned the hug but said nothing, even though Gale tried to make him promise to write. And then it was Posy's turn to be hugged. He knelt down and held his arms out. Usually, Posy would run into them and never let go. Today, though, she hid behind Hazelle.
"I love you, Posy Hawthorne. Don't ever forget that." He stood up and gave his mom one last hug before she ushered the kids towards the Hovercraft. Gale watched as they walked away. Only Hazelle looked back to wave at her eldest son. Not even Posy tore her eyes away from the looming Hovercraft to see him one more time.
In a state of near depression, Gale headed back to his apartment. He was losing everyone he loved. He wondered if he would ever make it out here away from them.
Posy held her mother's hand tightly. She had thought (and for a six year old it was quite smart) that if she tried to distance herself from Gale earlier, this goodbye would be easier. And in reality, she hadn't really said goodbye. She was wrong, though. The more she distanced herself from him, the worse it made it. Because now she was leaving everything open. There was no closure. And even for a six year old, some things just need closure. A war, death, a goodbye. They all need to be final.
There is no 'maybe.'