Hello again, sorry for the long wait but I've been really bussy :( but hey, longest chapter so far. Anyway there's a short school break here now so I'll probably post a few chapters over the next days :)

Ok, enough blabbering from me and on with the chapter.

Much to John's joy Sherlock's cravings for Marmite were intense but short lived. Three jars of marmite had been consumed in just as many days (John had found Sherlock eating it with a spoon, a spoon) and then just as suddenly as it appeared it had disappeared.

In its place a craving for cottage cheese had grown, or as John referred to it, Sherlock's mission to empty all of England of cottage cheese. John had been asked to go shopping for cottage cheese in the middle of the night, during a rainstorm and in the shower.

After that John had taken it upon himself to make sure that wherever Sherlock went he would be able to eat cottage cheese if he so felt for it. This meant that there were always at least one package in the fridge at all times, that John always carried a spoon and enough money for a package and he had even gone to the lengths to call Lestrade and telll him that before calling in Sherlock there had to be cottage cheese available and if not, Lestrade could take care of a raging Sherlock.

Sherlock had of course had other cravings as well, among these orange peel and pickles but the cottage cheese were the only recurring one, which had begun to show on Sherlock.

Now that he had entered the second trimester the babies were really showing. John had been surprised at first about how early Sherlock was showing but after a somewhat worried phonecall to their doctor he had been told that Sherlock didn't show any more than any other woman carrying twins, it was just that men and women are shaped somewhat differently and that this created the illusion of Sherlock being bigger than he should in this stadium.

And it was the issue of Sherlock being somewhat bigger than he was used to that would disturb John's lovely sitting-in-the-quiet-for-once-flat-enjoying-a-very-nice-cuppa moment.

"John!" Sherlock shouted from their room, his voice pitched a little higher than usual. John pretended he hadn't heard, sipping slowly on his tea.

"John!" Came the same cry again, this time a little panicked. This time John rose to his feet and made his way to the bedroom, hoping that Sherlock wouldn't throw some kind of tantrum. His mood swings had almost disappeared now that he's entered the second trimester but there were still some times when John could practically see Sherlock lose control over his feelings, something John went to great lengths to prevent.

When he entered the bedroom he found Sherlock laying flat on his back on their bed, his chest bare but his legs clad in a pair of black trousers. With Sherlock laying like this he could clearly see the baby bump and the bump in question was probably the reason to why his trousers were still unbuttoned, and why he sounded so panicked.

"They won't zip up John." He mumbled, clearly indicating the trousers. John had to really control himself to not roll his eyes. Of course they wouldn't zip up, Sherlock's clothes were usually like a second skin on him, there was no way on earth he would ever get into those clothes with twins growing inside him, and not to forget the two pounds he had gained from cottage cheese eating alone.

"Can I ask why you feel the need to dress this nicely all of sudden when you've been quite happy with practically living in your pyjama bottoms for the last month."

"Lestrade called." Sherlock answered with a sigh, waving vaguely with his hand at what John assumed was his phone.

"Case?"

Sherlock didn't grant John's question with an answer, instead he stayed where he was.

"Well you're not going in those." John nodded towards Sherlock's trousers and Sherlock's head shot up.

"What is that supposed to mean?" He squeaked, his face frozen in a mix of horror and rage. John could only stare back at him, not understanding why remarking something Sherlock already knew would make him react like this.

"Well..." John started carefully. "They're not fitting you right no-"

"Are you saying I'm fat?" Sherlock spat in response, his eyes on fire. John flinched at the sudden outburst but fortunately he was used to Sherlock taking things the wrong way when in a hormonal state.

"No Sherlock. You look beautiful and I am only happy that you can see our babies now. I love you and always will." John knew that this would work. Talking calmly and controlled to show Sherlock that this was the absolute truth was one of the few ways of calming him down. To emphasise his point he leaned down and kissed Sherlock's exposed belly gently.

"You can borrow a pair of my jeans, if you like. I have a pair that's way too long for me so they should probably fit." John looked up at Sherlock with a questioning look and the detective slowly nodded in response.

After having to search the house for something for Sherlock to wear on his upper body since his shirts no longer fit and the man refused to wear any more of John's clothes they had finally been able to go to the yard.

Sherlock was fiddling with the hem of the turtleneck they had finally found in the back of his wardrobe. The baby bump was clearly visible under the tight material and since the weather was too warm for his usual coat he only wore one of his usual suit jackets, which still fitted thank you very much.

"Where are we going?" John asked from Sherlock's right.

"The yard."

"But...I thought you said you had a case?" John frowned. Why would Sherlock go to the yard if he had a case? Unless someone was killed there. He hoped not, the papers would writhe with joy over something so ironic. "Has there been a murder there? At the Yard?"

Sherlock sighed and rolled his eyes. "No. Lestrade thought he would be able to handle last weeks homicide but it turned out they were just as wrong as always so they called me."

The cab had pulled over while Sherlock was talking and before John's brain had processed what Sherlock had said his partner was out the door and on his way towards the entrance. John quickly paid the driver before rushing after Sherlock.

"So, tell me about the case." John asked while they were walking down the corridors towards Lestrade's office.

"Husband and kid shot in the head by wife who then proceeded to kill herself, or that's at least what Anderson has managed to work out so it's probably completely wrong."

John only nodded in answer they continued to walk down the corridor, passing office after office.

They soon arrived at Lestrade's office and John stopped and knocked on the door. Lestrade opened without looking up, his eyes glued to the file in his hand. He sighed once and ran a hand through his greying hair.

"I assume you-" He looked up and stopped talking. "Where's Sherlock?" He asked with a frown.

"What do you mean, he's right...here." John had spun around when Lestrade asked for Sherlock and was now staring at the spot where he had assumed Sherlock was. He looked around in confusion and his eyes landed on Sherlock as he turned into another corridor.

"Where does that corridor lead to?" John asked and pointed in the direction Sherlock had gone.

"That? The kitchen. Why do-"

"You did by cottage cheese, didn't you?" John asked, already planning the route to the closest Tesco.

"Well, yes." Lestrade looked at him with a bemused expression. "Was I not supposed to?"

John didn't answer but instead began walking towards the kitchen, Lestrade close at his heels. They quickly reached the door and John paused outside, taking a deep breath. Beside him Lestrade frowned, once again confused by John's behaviour.

When they opened the door they found Sherlock with one hand extended towards a drawer and the other one holding a package of cottage cheese, on which he was staring wide eyed at. John let out a breath of relief at finding Sherlock calm.

"Sherlock!" Lestrade exclaimed, walking quickly up to the man who's head had snapped up at the sound of Lestrade's voice. Lestrade smiled widely when he noticed the bump on Sherlock stomach.

"Wow, you've gotten really big!" He remarked, sounding somewhat like a proud father. Sherlock's face adopted an almost perfect kicked puppy look at these words and the package in his hand fell to the floor.

If this had been a movie the package of cottage cheese would have fallen in slowmotion. You would have seen the package fall from several angles and when it finally hit the floor the sound would have been increased, pieces of cottage cheese flying dramatically everywhere. All this showing through the wonders of movie making just how devastating these words had been to Sherlock.

As it was, this was reality and the package dropping from Sherlock's hand landed on the floor with a rather pathetic sounding shlop and the contents bravely left their container.

John watched from the doorpost as Sherlock's lip began wobbling and his breaths becoming shallower.

"It's not my fault!" Sherlock shrieked, tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. Lestrade flinched at Sherlock's sudden outburst, not having recognized the signs of distress on Sherlock's face.

"It's the twins!" Sherlock continued. "I- I have to eat. It's- I...I...I..." He sobbed, tears flowing freely from his eyes. Opposite him Lestrade stood with a expression of horror on his face. He looked over at John who did a hugging motion with his arms. Lestrade awkwardly pulled Sherlock into a hug and the younger man buried his face in Lestrade's shoulder, sobs still shaking his body.

Noticing how uncomfortable Lestrade looked John walked over to the hugging pair but just before he was about to take over his eyes fell on the package on the floor. John tilted his head a bit to be able to read the text easier and when he could his face formed a disapproving pout. On the package it said COTTAGE CHEESE LIGHT in big letters.

John looked up at Lestrade who looked back at him with pleading eyes. No, John decided, he was not going to help Lestrade. The man had bought a light product when he had been specified to buy only cottage cheese and then proceeded to call a pregnant man big while said man was holding the light product he knew was specially bought just for him. This was Lestrade's mistake, he had gotten himself in this mess and was damn well going to take care of it himself.

John licked his lips before mouthing at Lestrade, "No. Your fault. You will deal with it." and then walked away, deciding that he would have a coffee from one of the machines in the corridor before returning and helping Lestrade calm Sherlock. After all, he wasn't a complete asshole, he just wanted to have someone else take care of a hysterical Sherlock.

Lestrade could only stare as John walked, as calm as ever, out of the room. Sherlock was still shaking in his arms and he had absolutely no idea of how to deal with this. He slowly stroked Sherlock's back while making shushing noises, wishing that no one would walk in on him right now.

"you're not big." He whispered and Sherlock let out a loud wail, clutching harder at Lestrade's jacket. Jupp, Lestrade decided, this was the biggest mistake he had made in a long time.

So this is a chapter I've had in my mind for I don't know how long but I just felt it was more or less mandatory to make Lestrade deal with an hormonal Sherlock. But this will be the last mood swings chapter for a while until we reach the third trimester.

The obsession with cottage cheese is a pure rip off of my own obsession. I Looooooooooove the stuff. I seriously sit and eat it right out of the package just because it's so delicious. That was just some trivia so there is no need to remember that. Anyhow...

Reviews are much welcomed :)

Love

/Phin