Chapter 23.
A/N I'm back! I am so sorry, seriously, for the lack of updates. I truly just didn't have access to the internet. I am back now, though so updates will be much more regular for the remainder of the story. I hope you're still reading :) Thanks for reviewing! It brightened up my day immensely!
Now, while I am off to do some reading myself, I hope you'll review :)
They're having dinner. Well, sort of. They're in his mother's private garden; he's eating dinner and Elphaba is picking at her food. She was never a big eater, he hasn't known her other than skinny, but it's been worse the past few days. She's twitchy and edgy and nervous. It clings to her. It's like she's waiting for something, but she won't tell him what it is and she's losing her patience. So is he, but then, he always loses his patience when she loses hers. He's impatient with her impatience.
She annoys him sometimes, when she gets like this. All evasive and avoiding his eyes, refusing to share her thoughts. She doesn't like to lie, so she prefers to say nothing. It drives him crazy. He'd almost rather she lie to him, because then he'd have something to go on. It'd be better than this silence that envelops them when she retreats into her own world that she won't make him a part of.
Sometimes he thinks he's closer to figuring her out. But then he blinks and there's more to her again than he could have guessed. Another layer he needs to peel away. It's difficult, he remembers it being difficult back at Shiz. Back then, however, he'd had more patience. He'd had more time. Or so he'd thought. Now, things are different. They love each other now, in a way that had been inconceivable to both of them back then. So yes, she annoys him sometimes. Like right now.
But even when she annoys him, even when she really annoys him, he knows that he's in love with her. It's because he is in love with her, that it annoys him. He loves her. It's one of the very few things he can be sure of, maybe the only thing. He wants to spend his life with her. No second thoughts.
He wonders if she feels the same way but he also wonders if she knows he feels that way. She should, but maybe she doesn't. Maybe she has no clue as to how serious he is about them.
Maybe he should tell her.
He looks up and her eyes are trained on the sky, then flicker to the side, to a far-off point on the horizon, a place that he can't see.
She bites her lip, which distracts him for a moment from what he wants to say, and he watches as she takes a breath and spears another bite of cake onto her fork. It draws his attention to her lips, and she glances at him from the corner of her eye.
"What exactly are you staring at?"
It comes out harsher than she intended, because she will never be comfortable with being stared at.
He frowns at her tone, but lets it go.
"You."
"Well, could you stop?"
"No."
She just huffs at that.
"I want to marry you."
She stops eating then. Drops the fork into the table, it makes a clinking sound when it touches the plate.
"You want to what?"
"I want to get married. To you. I want you to be my wife, and I want to be your husband." He speaks as if he's explaining something very simple, to someone who should know better by now. "I want to marry you."
He shrugs and steals her cake. She's never going to finish it now anyway and hers is better than his.
He's gone mad. That's the only explanation. The only logical explanation for all of it. Everything that's happened.
I want to marry you.
And he'd said it so casually, the way you would inform someone that the mail had come.
She knows he hasn't gone mad, though. The problem is that she knows he's serious.
He's completely serious. He really wants to marry her.
She's been silent for about four hours now. Four hours in which she's gone over every possible answer. Every way in which she should tell him he really does not want to marry her, even if he thinks he does. That he doesn't know what he's saying, what he's getting into. Four hours in which she's mulled over why he would want to, and why he would bring it up now. And four hours in which she's tried not to think about what she wants. He's finished all the food, he's showered and shaven and he's on the bed in his old bedroom that they share now, lounging, playing with her glasses, a sketchbook in his lap.
He's taken up sketching to have something to do because he gets bored when she's reading. She'd never known he'd done that, but then it turns out he didn't either. He started when she was…away, as he refers to it. Away.
He'd hated the posters they'd made of her, and he didn't have any pictures, so he'd made one himself. Then he drew Glinda. And her again. And Glinda, to make him feel less guilty. And then her again. And for every one he did of her, he made himself do one of something else.
Now he just draws whatever his eye falls on. Usually, it falls on her. There are a few lying around the room. She frowns when she sees them, because she thinks they look nothing like her. They're way too pretty, too delicate.
It bugs her because she loves it. There's this ridiculous little wiggle her stomach does when she sees them.
The fact that he could really see her that way, as something soft and beautiful...it makes her shiver, but in a good way. It melts her heart a little. And she realizes then that she sees him that way too. He'd stolen her heart all those years ago and today that little thrill of his hand around hers, that fuzzy warmth when he smiles at her..it's stronger than it has ever been. Maybe she doesn't believe yet that there could be a happy ending for them, that there truly is a place for her in his life and the other way around, but she does love him. And she knows, she knows, that it's a love that will last a lifetime, even if their relationship doesn't. She'll never feel for anybody what she feels for him.
She looks at him now, from her spot on the floor, as he lies on the bed, spread out, her glasses on his nose, pulling a face at whatever he's doing. He seems so relaxed, but so alive all at the same time. All the time.
"Why?"
He doesn't move at all, except to move his eyes from the page in in front of him to her face. His eyebrows raised in question.
"Why, what?"
"Why would you want to marry me?"
He plucks the glasses from his nose and sits up, the pillow that he's been using rumpled behind him. She has no idea why but the sight of that stupid pillow, next to her untouched one, makes her want to cry.
"Because I'm going to spend the rest of my life with you. And though I know people don't have to get married even if they spend their whole lives together, I was raised in a more…traditional environment and I would like for us to be married."
He keeps his eyes trained on hers, because he's not ashamed or embarrassed and he wants her to know.
"I didn't propose to you the traditional way because..well…I don't have a ring yet, and I didn't think you were ready for that anyway, but I want you to know that I have every intention of proposing to you. And when I do, I hope you'll say yes, because I would like to be your husband. And I would be very honoured, if you were to be my wife."
He's so quiet and sincere, it shakes her a little. She'd half expected him to be casual about this too, but he has a way of suddenly turning into a true Prince when he's genuine, when he's really sincere.
She stares at him, unable to break away, but when she does, because it is just too much and she finally finds the nerve to look back up, he's turned his attention back to his book.
"Fiyero?"
"Hmm?" He turns the page before he looks up.
She takes a deep breath and looks back at him. She needs to say this, because he deserves to hear it and he's been so incredibly patient.
"I...if...when you do ask...If you do...I'll say yes."
He smiles, and turns another page.
The fuzzy warm feeling that had come with their confessions didn't last long.
And it was for one clear reason; Nessa was in danger.
She could feel it. Sense it, somehow. She'd never have thought they were close enough for that, but she loved her sister with all she had and maybe that was enough.
Elphaba stood on the balcony attached to the library, her hands clenching the canopy, staring up at the sky.
Something was brewing. It was in the air. She could feel it. Hear it. It murmured and itched underneath her skin, making her even more restless than she usually was.
A change in the weather. That's what it was. She knew this feeling. Knew who had the power to cause it.
Right then, a howling sound loud enough to make her ears bleed, though no one else seemed to have heard it, and...no...it couldn't be...her eyes narrowed as they followed a strangely familiar shape shoot through the sky...was that a...No...no...that was insane...but it was...it had been...
A house.
It couldn't be her imagination.
It wasn't paranoia.
It had been a warning. Her instinct, that she'd relied on to survive for so long, had tried to tell her, and she hadn't listened.
She couldn't ignore this. Despite Fiyero's words, despite hers, despite the fact that he'd hate it, she could not ignore this. It was Nessa. No matter what had transpired between them, she would never forgive herself if something happened while she'd been able to prevent it.
"Elphaba?"
She didn't want to turn around and face him. He knew, of course. He always knew.
"I have to go."
She spoke without turning, her eyes still trained on the horizon, gripping the canopy with both hands so tight it hurt, but it was the only way of keeping herself there. She knew that if she let go, she'd run, move, fly without explaining.
"Elphaba."
It is clear from the way he says her name that he already knows he is not going to win this time, so she turns around to look him in the eye, hoping that that will be enough to ground her.
"Fiyero, please. I can't not go. It's Nessa. I know it. I have to go."
"How do you know that?"
"I don't know. I just do. And I can't ignore it."
She looked at him and there's a plea in her eyes that he's never seen before. She's asking him to understand, not telling him. It changes everything.
"I know."
She nods and within moments, she's disappeared through the open door and when he catches up and enters his bedroom, their bedroom, she's already changed into her dress. The dress that transforms her into that magical enchantress again. Her cape is next and her hair goes up in a knot with the swift movements that tell him how often she's done that. He wants to say so many things but this is all too overwhelming and it seems he's lost the ability to speak.
A sound behind him shakes him from his catatonic state; his mother enters the room and stares at the woman who's back at the window, broom in one hand, hat in the other. They're back at the exact same spot as they when they met. Was that really only a few days ago?
Elphaba is the first to speak. That doesn't happen often. Raina doesn't know that, but Fiyero does.
"I have to go. My sister..." She doesn't finish her sentence because she has no clue how to.
The Queen doesn't answer, only glances at her son, still frozen in his place and then back at the green woman in the window.
"Something is wrong with your sister?"
She doesn't ask how Elphaba knows that. She has a distinct feeling she wouldn't like the answer. And it wouldn't tell her much, anyway.
"Yes. At least, I think so. I just...I can't not go." She looks at Raina then and feels the need to say something.
"I am...grateful, for what you've done. What you've tried to do."
It's enough. Raina steps forward, but then changes her mind. They're don't know each other well enough for sentiment. The silence is broken by Fiyero.
"I'm going with you."
She'd been expecting those words and had prepared for this argument.
"No. It's too dangerous."
He opens his mouth to argue but closes it again when he realizes it would be of no use. She won't change her mind on this either.
She takes a few steps towards him, tries to ignore Raina's presence in the room.
"We'll see each other again."
She tries to make it sound reassuring but it turns into a question instead.
"Won't we?"
He shakes his head as he grabs her shoulders, forcing her to look him in the eye.
"Elphaba. We're going to be together forever. Why can't you see that?"
She nods then and kisses him. It's the first time she's done that in front of anyone and it tells him how worried she is. He ignores the pinch in his stomach, the voice in his head that points out how much she seems to have changed. Now that he's got her, he has to let go again. He takes her hands and pulls her back for another kiss, then lets go.
She walks back to the window and positions her broom. She doesn't look back until Raina steps forward at the last moment.
"Elphaba?"
She turns around for that, her eyebrow raised in a silent question.
"Good luck."
The older woman hesitates for a moment then, but only for a moment before she takes another step forward.
"And make sure to come back."
He'd never make it.
He stomped up the stairs, as fast as he could, and he was sure he'd never been this noisy.
She'd left only a minute ago, but she was flying and that made her advantage much greater than he liked.
He would go with her, of course. As if that had been a question. But he knew she never would have let him on that broom, so this was, in fact, the quicker way. He knew where she was going and he could get there reasonably fast on a horse.
He could only hope it was fast enough.
Glinda.
Oz, Glinda.
She hadn't thought she'd ever get to see her again. Let alone talk to her.
And now, it had to be like this. Over something that she'd never, in a million years, thought she'd fight over, with her former room mate.
She wanted to care, to care enough to stop but the sight of the blonde in her ridiculous dress, crouching at where her sister had died...lay dead...
And she'd given that stupid little farm brat her sister's shoes!
An accident...
She could not actually be that stupid. She certainly never had been. Shallow, yes, and not often interested in what went on beneath the surface, but not stupid.
Maybe Morrible's power went beyond the weather. Maybe it included brainwashing too.
"And what exactly have you been doing? Except riding around on that filthy old thing?!"
It surprised Elphaba how much that stung, but her broom had been her only sidekick for so many years, it had been her rescue more times than she could count.
She lashed out.
"Well, we can't all come and go by bubble! And whose invention was that, the Wizard's? Of course, even if it wasn't, I'm sure he'll still take the credit for it."
Judging by the blonde's embarrassed blush, it was a sore spot.
Good.
"Yes, well. A lot of us are taking things that don't belong to us, aren't we?"
Oh. That was...that was so low...so cheap...
It was...
Oz, it was true.
Guilt washed over her, but she didn't let it show because as much as she felt guilt and blame over what had happened with Fiyero, it also hurt to hear Glinda say that. She felt cheapened by it. As if she'd taken Fiyero, instead of him finding her. As if it had been her alone, instead of them together.
"Now wait just a clock-tick. I didn't take anything. He found me! And you know that, so don't even try to put this only on me!"
Glinda said nothing at that and Elphaba could feel all the guilt that had been building up inside her since she'd fled with Fiyero overtake her. A part of her wanted to drop the broom and comfort her best friend.
She would always consider Glinda her best friend. Her only friend. Save for Fiyero, of course. Save, always, for Fiyero. Fiyero was...well...he was part of her now, a part of who she was and he had been since that damn Lion cub. But Glinda...Glinda had been her first friend and she would always, always, be her best friend. She would always love Glinda more than she loved herself, more than she loved her sister. Just not more than she loved Fiyero. Being away from him brought clarity. She loved him, truly, more than anything.
"I will put this on you! You were in love with him back at school, Elphie, and you know it! You've been waiting for this for Oz knows how long!"
That was true too, but it also wasn't and it hurt. It hurt and it wasn't fair.
"I know it may be difficult for that blissful blonde brain of your to comprehend, Glinda, but he doesn't love you! He never loved you. He loves me."
She really shouldn't have added that last part. It was uncalled for and it wasn't like her. But Glinda's words cut too deep. She doesn't know what else she said exactly. Maybe something else about how Fiyero chose her, maybe something else about those shoes, but before she can comprehend what is happening, she's opposite Glinda in the silliest fight she's ever been in and it lasts less than a minute, because suddenly her arms are pulled back and the Gale Force is all around her; her broom on the floor, her hat suddenly gone. Where did it go? And Glinda is standing there, while those guards apologize for being late and she can't believe, she can not believe, that Glinda would ever sink this low.
"I didn't! I never meant to..."
But Glinda doesn't get to finish her sentence because everything changes then. From a different corner, another man, in a similar uniform, swings in and points his rifle at the men in the room, the nuzzle changing direction but steadying, eventually, on the blonde in the corner.
"Let the green girl go!"
I had to. You understand I had to, right?
Next chapter will be here Thursday, but the way.