χορεύω Chapter 6: The Dance, an alexander fanfic

Title: χορεύω

Author: Baliansword

Chapter: 6, "The Dance"

Rating: T for Teen

Summary: Divisions are easily made, and hearts are easily changed. In Persia this seems all the more true after Alexander receives Bagoas. Hephaestion carries the burden of knowing that his love has found another, and when they reach Bactra it is no better. Yet in his enemies Hephaestion may find the greatest allies of all.

A/N: A special thanks to everyone reading this. You all are amazing, and I value each and every reader and commenter. Thanks so much!

Sorry that it took so long to update; my computer was down again!

WARNING: There is heavy sexual content in this chapter!

The sun finally sunk beneath the horizon, putting to rest the fire that had been burning against the blackest silhouette. With the coming of the night things changed in Bactra, as they always did, but this time he did not notice them as much. Still he heard the sounds of voices echoing through the halls, from the festival that had already began. Where boys had once played there was now a vacancy, a void in time it seemed, but they too had likely gone to see what Alexander had in store this time. Just as all of Alexander's feasts this one would be grand, a sight that thousands would never see, yet Alexander's feasts had one flaw. They all seemed the same, repetitive, as if nothing were ever going to change. This was not the case on this night, and Hephaestion knew this as he drew in a breath and slowly exhaled. He wondered how many nights he had been here now, in Bactra, and upon thinking it through realized that never before had he felt this at ease with everything. It was as if the world had stopped, and he was fine with this, for it had at least stopped before him. He knew of the halt, and he knew where he stood, and most importantly he stood alone.

When the door creaked open he thought for a moment that it would be Bagoas, who was coming to collect him at the right moment. Alexander could not see him before the dance, or he may in fact call the entire thing off. This was not what he wanted, and in such had not seen Alexander the entire morning. As much as it hurt, it was also something that he feared he was used to by now. Things were different here, and had been, and for the first time even Alexander seemed to note it. It was not Bagoas though, not his enemy that had for a few days become an ally, but instead it was Cassander. Without a moment's hesitation Cassander crossed the room, coming face to face with Hephaestion, and stared boldly at him. Hephaestion knew well enough that his face was covered in a light layer of color to make him appear darker, that his eyes were lined in charcoal it seemed, and even that he wore the garb of a Bactrian dancer. Even knowing all of this Cassander did not intimidate him. Instead, he merely stood, staring back at Cassander as if he had looked like this his entire life.

"This must be the other in your life," Cassander finally said, his voice calm, but commanding all the same. Quietly he reached forward and pulled a small strand of Hephaestion's hair down, placing it upon his cheek. The rest he left alone, tied behind Hephaestion's ears in natural waves. He then smiled softly, as if he were a proud father of sorts, and took a few steps back.

"It almost suits you," he murmured.

"For how long have you known," Hephaestion asked, bracing himself with his arms as he leaned against the back of a chair. Cassander only shrugged, as he often did when he knew too much about something too petty for another to bother with.

"I just wanted to see you before you went," Cassander replied. "It is not every day that we get to see a general dancing like a barbarian."

"It is not so bad."

"For you, I know. Alexander was looking for you earlier. Bagoas is not too far ahead of him either. Get ready to captivate him, or infuriate him, I'm not sure which."

"You're supposed to wish me good luck," Hephaestion said as Cassander reached the door. Cassander glanced over his shoulder, a soft smile creeping over his lips, and he faintly shook his head.

"I already have."

Alexander knocked before entering, even though the gesture was awkward. However, he knew that he and Hephaestion were not on the best of terms. When there was no response he leaned his forehead against the door and tried once more. If Hephaestion were in the room he was surely avoiding him. Realizing this he reached out and pushed the door open, not caring about the state that he found Hephaestion in. He needed to seem him, he needed him. When he stepped in the room Hephaestion was nowhere to be found. Alexander cursed softly to himself, knowing that he should have spoken to Hephaestion the other night, but like a fool he'd just stared at Hephaestion as he slept in the tub. He was not sure what he was going to do, but he knew that sitting in Hephaestion's room was not going to be the answer.

He entered the hall once more, this time slightly more depressed, even though he knew that he could not let it show. Perhaps Hephaestion had already gone to the banquet hall. If Hephaestion were seen anywhere it would be a miracle from the gods. He'd walled himself up in his room for the last few days and no one had seen him since. Alexander made his way to the hall, and for once he was not stopped along the way, but when he entered everything seemed to go silent as his men turned to look at him.

"Alexander," Ptolemy said, stepping forward, and Alexander waved his hand. Everything then went on as normal. Ptolemy stepped to his side though and wrapped his arms around him in a quick embrace. "Things are already going according to plan. The men are covered with the scent of wine and women, and yet we've seen naught of you. Tell me, dear friend, were you settling your business with Hephaestion, or is he still avoiding you?"

"I have not seen him as of yet," Alexander replied, wondering why it was he told Ptolemy so much about his life. He was his friend, yes, but still he knew a great deal of precious information. "If you see him tell him that I am looking for him, will you? Don't tell him what it regards, but just that it is important. Tell him that I'm ill if you must, something terrible, and then we'll see if he will speak with me."

"Hephaestion has a heart of gold, but you and I both know that such hearts do not forgive so easily. He may in fact just wish you well at this point." Ptolemy waited for a moment before shaking his head, and with a slight laugh he added, "You know that I jest Alexander. He loves you, and with time he will feel the emptiness that I see in your eyes. He'll be back. Give him some time, and when he does come back, make sure to tell him what it is you feel for him."

"I will," Alexander told him. He then surveyed the crowd once more, searching for the slightest hint of Hephaestion. His eyes met with Cassander instead, who smirked, then took a sip of his wine. After doing so he looked away. Not taking much notice Alexander glanced around once more. Ptolemy laughed, telling him that he needed to calm himself or it would be even more obvious, but then his friend left his side to converse with others.

He still did not know what he was going to say, precisely, to Hephaestion. He knew that he couldn't just approach him and tell him that he was sorry, that he'd been a fool, and that never again would he touch another if it meant loosing the only one he'd ever cared for. At this point he was even willing to forgo attempts at having an heir, even though he knew that Hephaestion understood the reason Alexander had found himself in Roxanne's arms. Still, such words were not good enough for Hephaestion; he deserved better. Giving him a gift would be no better either. Hephaestion was not one to be bought, and he would view a gift as some sort of a payment or bribe. However, if he did not see Hephaestion soon he would not need to speak with him. He'd die without Hephaestion; already he felt his heart stopping, and his mind was thick with nasty gray clouds.

"Alexander," Cassander greeted a few moments later when he found a seat next to the king. He sat, his eyes wandering around the room for a moment too, and then continued. "You look dissatisfied, is the feast not to your liking?"

"All is well," Alexander assured him. He had to remember to look as if he were enjoying himself. It may not be the case, but to look otherwise insulted not only gods, but his guests as well, and they should have been more important than his own issues. They weren't, he knew, but he had to at least pretend. He drank a sip of his wine, which was not watered in the slightest, and then turned his attention to Cassander. "Are things well with you Cassander? You seem to be sitting with me, and there is no woman on your lap."

"Nor will there be tonight," he answered. "There is a rumor spreading through the halls that Roxanne will be dancing tonight. You let your wife do such before your peers?"

"Yes, but just for this last time. It is part of what she has asked of me, so I gave it to her. You know women Cassander; they would suck the breath from your lungs if they thought it would better them."

"Then you are truly a brave man, for you've married."

"Yes," he replied nonchalantly. His thoughts were still on Hephaestion, who still had not made himself present. Alexander wondered where he would be if not in the gardens, his room, or in this very room. Even Cassander was not keeping his attention, and often times he paid very close attention to Cassander. It was not always that he was interesting, but that at any moment he may slip into a conversation words that did not need to be uttered.

"Perhaps you have married more than twice," Cassander suggested. Alexander glanced over at him and then took another gulp of his wine. He was going to need a refill in a moment if Hephaestion was not present. Cassander went on, "I wonder at times if you have not secretly wed Hephaestion."

"Hephaestion and I have not wed," Alexander said, trying to lightly play off the words. In truth he wanted to strangle Cassander for even mentioning Hephaestion's name. Every time he did it was with malice and envy.

"That isn't what silence tells me." Alexander looked over at him, perhaps a bit thrown off, and Cassander explained. "I see the way that you two look at one another. With looks you say more to one another than I've ever seen you say in any other point in time. Your feelings for one another wed you, and the gods seem to have blessed you in this binding. What else is there apart from such a bond?"

"Nothing," the other answered. He was interrupted by the sound of a drum though, and slowly attention turned to two male dancers. Both Alexander knew well enough; the boys were pages to Ptolemy. He paid them a bit of attention but then turned his head to the left, expecting to see Cassander, but saw nothing. He was once again alone. The chair next to him, one which Hephaestion often frequented, was cold and empty.

The two continued to dance, but Alexander lost interest quickly. The pace was too slow. Once more he scanned the room, hoping to find even the slightest sight of Hephaestion. He saw many that he knew, and once he even thought he saw the back of Hephaestion's hair, but soon realized that it was not Hephaestion at all. He sat back in his chair, again downtrodden, and went back to watching the dancers. It was the polite thing to do, since after all they believed they were dancing mostly for him. The boys stopped and took their leave, and then the main stage was lit, alcohol being poured into the fires to brighten them. Alexander sat up and began to watch. Not before long Roxanne stepped onto the scene, dressed in a dark red dress with appealing slits cut up to her thighs, her hair falling in ringlets behind her ears. She knelt, and then waited. Already this was more entertaining to him. He let a server fill his cup, and then watched.

A drum struck once and Roxanne reached out with a hand, into darkness of the entrance. Suddenly, and without warning, a flute began to play, its soft melody floating through the room. Roxanne slowly rose and began to gently drift across the carpets, all the while acting as if she were searching for something. Her arms rose into the air and then fell gracefully, and she spun about on her heels, and then the flute ceased. Roxanne stopped as well, her hand outstretched in the same direction, and the drums began to rapidly pulsate. A hand then met with Roxanne's and the dance truly began, forcing Alexander to sit forward in his seat. Another man, dressed in dark black attire, rapidly kept step to the music, his body rocking back and forth. As Roxanne did an ornate turn the man dropped to his knees, then rolled his body backward, his chest heaving. Alexander lifted a hand to his chin, to keep his mouth shut, and continued to stare.

Back arched the dancer then reached straight up and jerked his arms in both directions before flipping himself back into a standing position. Stepping to the left he wrapped an arm around Roxanne's waist, drawing her closer, and bent her backward, delivering a soft kiss to her throat. It was then that Alexander saw the awkward moment, but no other seemed to notice. Within a second they both leapt to the side and spun once more, the man turning his body in a graceful manner, but still one could see this was no mere dancer. The drums continued to beat though, and the faster they went the faster the dancers went. Roxanne was supposed to outshine the man, but Alexander could not look away. It took another moment for the dance to end, cymbals now joining the drums as Roxanne finished rocking her hips to the sides, and the two stopped. The audience immediately applauded, and Alexander rose. As he began to walk toward the dancers, the one he wished to speak with most, stepped away from Roxanne. He whispered something, and then hastily left the stage, entering down the same dark hall he'd entered from.

"You did well," he told Roxanne, wrapping her in an embrace, but this contact soon ceased. Knowing that all of the audience was listening to him he went on. "Tell me, does your partner not wish to stand before his king?"

"He feared you would be displeased," was her answer. Alexander accepted this, and raised his cup. A toast was in order, for he still needed to find Hephaestion. However, he now knew where to look for him.

"Drink," Alexander told his audience. "Drink tonight, for the gods drink with us!"

It worked. Many cheered and hailed, and he had a moment to step away. Without any explanation he entered the dark hallway. Unafraid of what could be hiding in any corner he continued down the hall until it ended abruptly. There was a corridor to the left, but he knew of the secret passage to the right and opted to take such a route instead. He knew this passage well enough, and within moments he was making his way down another hallway, this one only dimly lit. When he stopped he stood before Hephaestion's door. Boldly he pushed the door open and stepped inside, again not caring in what state he found Hephaestion, as long as he found him. As the door shut he spotted Hephaestion, sitting before a mirror with a wet cloth in hand. He'd successfully wiped the brown powder from his face, but the eyeliner still remained thick below his eyes. Already he had thrown his clothes into a pile in the corner and had wrapped his bare body in a Persian robe. Had Alexander not already known he would have said that Hephaestion was merely trying to outline his eyes.

"You should have stayed," Alexander said, breaking the silence. Hephaestion set the cloth in his hand down and sat back, as if he were in some sort of trouble. Alexander confidently sat down upon the edge of the bed. "I would have applauded you, announced you before all as the best dancer in all of Asia."

"I," he began, but then looked down at his lap. Finally he looked up, his cerulean eyes attempting to conceal his insecurity, and went on. "I did it as a favor, for Roxanne."

"As always," Alexander whispered as he moved, placing himself upon the couch closest to Hephaestion. "Once again you do for others, but not for yourself. Hephaestion…I love only you, and never before have I felt loss. But I felt loss when you left me, and I wanted nothing else but you. Hephaestion, I would trade this all if only you would forgive me."

"You know you are forgiven," Hephaestion replied.

"No, I don't want you to just say it. I want to earn it Hephaestion. I want to work for it, as I have for everything else. You are the only thing that I want to conquer, to own, but you are the only thing that I cannot conquer."

"Alexander," he began, but was stopped. Alexander placed his lips against Hephaestion's in a fluid motion, one that had been practiced a thousand times. This time it was different though, the desire they'd had as youths was back. Alexander placed his hand on the back of Hephaestion's neck and pulled him closer, pressing his own lips firmer against Hephaestion's, and softly kissed him. He pulled at his lower lip, tugging him closer, and then wrapped his other arm around Hephaestion's waist. He then let their lips part and gently rested his forehead against Hephaestion's, staring into his eyes all the while.

"Stay with me tonight," Hephaestion pleaded, already wanting Alexander more than he could describe. He rested his hand against Alexander's cheek, he still did not move, and then brushed his lips against Alexander's. He wanted to be soft, but despite this he leaned in once more and kissed Alexander with a bit more force. This time Alexander responded. Instinctively he wrapped his arms around Hephaestion, placing one on his back, the other on his neck, and pulled him forward. He kissed him back, loving each sensation, and then slowly flicked his tongue against Hephaestion's lips. Hephaestion parted his lips, freely giving him claim to his mouth, and met Alexander's tongue with his own. Alexander's hand then slid down Hephaestion's lower back until is cupped his buttocks, and once more he pulled him closer, feeling his pulsating thighs against him. Fire ran through him, yet this was not about him, not now. It was about Hephaestion, about pleasing him, and about winning him back. Nothing was like touching Hephaestion, or feeling Hephaestion touch him back.

Their lips broke for a quick moment and Alexander noted that Hephaestion, out of practice it seemed, was already panting. He lifted him with a sudden barbaric movement and set him on the flat of the table before the mirror. Hephaestion let out a soft groan as Alexander captured his lips once more, his hands finding their proper place on Hephaestion's chest. His fingers worked with the soft silk that kept him from Hephaestion's skin until he was pushing the robe away from Hephaestion's shoulders. The robe slipped, falling to Hephaestion's waist, and Alexander let his fingers lightly trace each indentation. All the while he continued to kiss Hephaestion, leaving him near breathless each time. His fingers lightly brushed against a scar, teasing Hephaestion all the more. As his finger ran over the scar repeatedly Hephaestion let a moan vibrate in his throat. Alexander continued, running his hands up and down Hephaestion's chest, his touches bringing electric tingles to Hephaestion until he was hard beneath his robe. No, he had not been this close to Alexander for some time, but he remembered moments like this.

Alexander let his hands wander to Hephaestion's thighs. Lightly he dug each finger into Hephaestion's soft skin and began to pull his fingers down, leaving light traces of red where he'd been, which soon after disappeared. He then let his lips break away from Hephaestion's and placed them against his throat. He could feel his pulse, now rapid, beneath him. Eagerly he sucked against a pulse he felt, bringing blood to the surface, but without pain. When his lips moved next a small red mark remained. His hands still wrapped around Hephaestion's thighs, and now he drew him closer. Without hesitation Hephaestion wrapped his legs around Alexander, edging him closer. As he pulled Alexander closer to him he let out a soft cry, mixed with a load sigh, as Alexander took one of his nipples in his mouth. He bit lightly, but then flicked his tongue against the soft flesh, removing all pain and leaving only excitement.

Hephaestion wrapped a hand in Alexander's hair, at the nape of his neck, and drew his head up once more. He kissed him readily and arched his back, forcing his chest up against Alexander's. With the same force he tightened his legs around Alexander as his tongue licked at Alexander's earlobe. Alexander let out his own stifled moan now and reached up with a hand, pressing it against the mirror to steady himself. They held a kiss for another moment, Hephaestion letting Alexander take control. Alexander let his free hand wander to the sash at Hephaestion's waist. With a simple tug the sash was free, and Alexander spread the robe away from Hephaestion's legs, revealing his desire for Alexander. Slowly the king then let his hand glide over the soft skin of Hephaestion's inner thighs. He skimmed his fingers over another scar, this one from a farmer's blade, and continued upward. Within moments he was caressing Hephaestion where he burned to be touched, the fire almost overcoming him as he held tightly to Alexander as his first spasm of shear pleasure overcame him.

"Take me to bed," Hephaestion pleaded, his voice soft, his breath striking Alexander's shoulder. Alexander continued to kiss Hephaestion's chest, then slowly lifted his head. He placed his forehead against Hephaestion's and then lifted both hands, placing them on either side of his face. Breathing softly he placed a soft kiss against Hephaestion's nose, slowing the process all the more.

"I didn't come for this," he then whispered. He stared into cerulean depths, lined in black, and again kissed Hephaestion's nose. "What I feel for you is deeper than this Hephaestion; it is so much more."

"Do you love me," asked Hephaestion. "For if you love me, even in the slightest, I am yours."

"No," Alexander said, pausing before continuing. He saw the flash of fear in Hephaestion's eyes, but dismissed it upon finishing. "You will never belong to me Hephaestion. Not even a god could own you; you're too perfect to be owned."

"I love you Alexander," his friend, noble companion, and lover replied softly. He then dipped his head, placing his lips upon Alexander's, and delicately kissed him. His lips barely touched Alexander, leaving them both breathless, and Alexander could finally take it no longer. Urgently he slid his tongue into Hephaestion's mouth, tempting him, and slid both arms around Hephaestion. Lifting him he drew them to the bed, where he expertly laid Hephaestion down. For a moment he only crouched over him, taking in the sight of him. Reaching down he picked up stands of Hephaestion's hair and arranged them neatly around him before bowing his head, touching his quivering lips against Hephaestion's. Hephaestion titled his head up and let Alexander kiss him, he too knowing that this was just as important as any other touch could be. Once more Alexander worked his hands over Hephaestion's body, and in response Hephaestion wriggled under Alexander's grasp until Alexander straddled him completely. He felt his manhood brush up against Alexander's thigh and whispered his name, needing him physically, but wanting him more emotionally. Alexander brought his hand between Hephaestion's legs and once against wrapped his fingers around him, causing him to feel each pulsation as Alexander gently squeezed and stroked him.

"Lie back," Alexander instructed when Hephaestion pushed himself up on his elbows. Alexander met him with a quick kiss before pushing him gently back down. He was going to have his way with him, please him, as he never had before. Hephaestion obediently collapsed back onto the bed and Alexander continued to work his fingers up and down his warmth. He then lifted Hephaestion's legs at the knees and positioned his own head between his tanned thighs. Sinfully he flicked his tongue out, only slightly connecting with Hephaestion's tip, and then blew warm air against him. Before Hephaestion could sit up Alexander forced him possessively back down, then continue to lick him, starting where he'd already begun and ending at Hephaestion's thigh. Just before Hephaestion was going to utter a plea Alexander slid his mouth over him, causing Hephaestion's hips to instinctively jerk back into the bed. He heard Hephaestion cry out, yearning to have been touched like this so long ago, and Alexander then moved slower up and down him, his tongue repeating the moves his fingers had. Hephaestion reached down and wrapped a hand in his golden hair as his back arched uncontrollably. Carefully Alexander placed his hands upon Hephaestion's hips and forced him back down, even though the writhing meant he was doing things right.

"Alexander," Hephaestion whimpered, panting heavily. Alexander did not answer, made no suggestion that he had even heard him, and again he uttered his name. Again Alexander forced him back as he tried to sit up, and his left leg gave way. Alexander's hands ran up and down his thighs, bringing even more warmth to him. Had there been snow it would have melted. He tried to hold back another cry as Alexander's teeth grazed his soft skin, but this time could not stop himself from loudly whimpering. He felt himself coming closer and closer to a point of completion, and his grip on Alexander's hair lessened. There was a senseless wringing in his ears, but just before he found his release Alexander's mouth left him, and everything stopped for a moment. Hephaestion let Alexander pull him up, turning him in the process, and then his back was to Alexander's chest. Chest heaving he tried to say something, anything, but could not find the words. Alexander slid a hand between their hips, guiding himself into Hephaestion, and then remained motionless. Hephaestion almost collapsed when Alexander finally thrust completely inside of him, and found himself grabbing the bedpost with a hand. The other he used to place against Alexander's neck as he brought his arm up. Alexander stopped once more and kissed the crook of Hephaestion's neck. The expectation burned deep within his loins, but once again it was not about him. He wanted this night to be Hephaestion's.

Slowly he began to rock against Hephaestion's hips, causing Hephaestion to let out another gasp of air, and with a hand reached around to once again find Hephaestion. He knew Hephaestion all to well, and each time he touched him he knew what he felt. As he rocked against him he heard Hephaestion's voice crack as he tried to say something. He knew what Hephaestion wanted, he wanted a release, but Alexander was not ready to give it to him. He continued to slowly rock himself against Hephaestion, each time gently pressing his fingers into Hephaestion's needing flesh. Then, knowing exactly what would excite Hephaestion, he began a quicker motion. He knew the pain that he caused Hephaestion, not yet bringing him all the way, for each time Hephaestion's body tightened he would stop. Each time he did Hephaestion bit his lip, tried to speak, but as his body relaxed Alexander would move them once more. Finally he thrust himself once more against Hephaestion, and whilst doing so touched Hephaestion in such a way that he found the release he'd been waiting for. Hephaestion's body fell forward, to where it then rest against the wall, and he shook in perfect orgasm for a moment. Alexander reached up, pulling Hephaestion's hair to one side of his neck, and continued kissing his shoulder. He listened as Hephaestion drew in short breaths, which were cut off with soft pants as he tried to breathe. Alexander pulled away from him, but only so that he could wrap his arms around him and bring him back down to the bed.

"Alexander," Hephaestion gasped, taking three breaths to get his name out. He would have said more, but Alexander placed his mouth against his, silencing him in a sweet kiss. As he pulled away he pushed an errant strand of sweat slicked hair away from Hephaestion's forehead. Hephaestion turned his head, resting it against the furs beneath him, and let out another quick breath. Alexander said nothing, merely positioned himself so that Hephaestion could rest his head against his chest, which Hephaestion gladly did.

"My plan to seduce you…worked," Hephaestion whispered jokingly as his eyelids began to feel heavy. Alexander continued to trace each line of his face as he stared down at him.

"You seduced me years ago," Alexander replied. Nothing else was said for some time, and Hephaestion eventually closed his eyes. Alexander continued to stare at him as he gently ran his fingers over his jaw, watching him as if there never again would be a moment like this, even though he planned to hold Hephaestion like this for the rest of his night. Outside the stars shone their brightest and Alexander whispered then something even better than proclaiming love. "Hephaestion, are you awake?"

"No," Hephaestion murmured quietly, a smile still creeping over his lips as he said it. Alexander smiled as well. He was not a king here, but rather a lover. He was not old, but rather young. Here he was no one's disappointment, no one's murderer.

"Marry me."

"You're absurd," Hephaestion replied, laughing slightly in his half-sleep.

"I mean it," Alexander told him, keeping his voice quiet.

"I'm already yours," Hephaestion said, reaching up and placing his hand over Alexander's. The ring he'd given to him on his wedding night to Roxanne was still safely upon his finger.

"No, I must do something for you Hephaestion. You've saved me from myself so many times, and look how I have repaid you…"

"Alexander," Hephaestion interrupted. "Do you want to know what would repay me?"

"Hmm?"

"Just hold me," he answered. Alexander did just that. He held Hephaestion until the sun rose, and continued to hold him until Hephaestion woke. When he did he pressed a soft kiss against his forehead. Never again would he leave him.

ENFIN

A/N: Thank you to all of my reviewers, especially these reviewers who have been with me from the first chapter on:

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