Dear journal,
I had a nightmare last night, so I woke up early this morning. The dream started out with Ray and me stabbing each other with our staffs, but it didn't hurt. We were smiling and laughing. Next thing I know, I'm home again, but the sky is black and everything is dark. I kept having to stop Kayla from jumping in the pool because I know she'll drown. The water is black and mucky. I don't know why she wants to swim so badly. I see Kyo in the water and he's drowning, but no one – not even me – pays any attention to him. Suddenly someone's behind me and he's holding the second volume of D. Gray-man. And he's dressed like the Millennium Earl. I can't remember who it was, but I know it was a friend. He whacks me once with the book and I fall into the pool.
I don't know what happens after that because just as I hit the water, I wake up. I was breathless and shaky. I couldn't sleep after that, so I took a shower instead. It's hard to imagine Kayla, my little sister, whom I love more than the world, drowning, and I can't do anything about it. I'm not one to overanalyze things, but I can't help but wonder what the dream meant. Maybe I have too much on my mind. Although I'm starting to like the Order because of all the awesome people I'm meeting, I don't know if I'm really getting used to it.
Sometimes when I'm spacing out, I forget I'm not at home anymore. Things are different. I'm thousands of miles away from my family. I'll never see you all again unless we happen to meet by chance. I know I have to be strong, but it hurts so much. I never knew – what I had until it was all gone.