Chapter 26.
A/N Not done quite yet. A little more drama is needed, but here is the calm before the storm :P
She didn't want to wake up. Waking up would mean opening her eyes and she wasn't ready to open her eyes.
She was awake though, sort of.
Almost.
She'd known that spell would take it out of her. She had no way of telling how long she'd been unconscious but she did know she'd been out of it long enough to rest. Her mind was clear, even if every single part of her body hurt.
It was too much.
Yackle had warned her, of course, but the only thing she'd really heard was that Fiyero would see her.
She'd decided quickly enough that it didn't matter as long as it helped him. She wasn't sure how souls connected, hadn't even been sure she had one, or how it had anything to do with what would happen between them, but whatever it was and however it worked, if it saved him, it would be worth it.
If whatever he saw was enough to make him realize she wasn't what he wanted, then so be it.
It would hurt, she would hurt, but she'd long ago agreed with her own theory that she was not and would never be that girl and she was prepared to live with that. Had lived with that. As long as he was alive and healthy and happy she would do it again.
She'd stepped into it, prepared to live with whatever the consequences were.
What she had not prepared for was that she would get to see him.
And she had.
And she'd never forget even a glimpse of it.
Images of his childhood, his sisters, his parents. Being told off by nannies for stealing cookies from the kitchen and falling off the roof of one of the stables after trying to prove he could be a superhero.
Social functions and charity events. Parties and dates and drunken escapades.
So many different girls, though not one with a clear face.
Being kicked out of university. once, twice, thrice...they all became the same, those speeches, his father's angry words and disappointed face. It was all the same.
Her own face, in a flash, as she yelled at him for running her over.
Meeting Galinda and being content and satisfied with a girl like that in a place like this and how happy his parents would be with a match that perfect.
Seeing her entering the Ozdust with a hat he could not believe. The mortification he felt for her, coupled with admiration. She'd marvelled at that. Admiration. She would not have bet on admiration from him at that moment. All she'd felt was humiliation.
His astonishment at what she'd done to the class and the way his heart skipped a beat when he'd felt her hand clasp his. The way he kept looking at her lips and felt himself leaning in until he'd remembered himself, remembered Galinda.
The confusion he'd felt from then on, as he'd picked his girlfriend up for dates, leaned in to kiss the blonde, his eyes pulled to her dark-haired room mate.
The anger and resentment he'd felt as Avaric and more guys she couldn't immediately remember the name of, said things about her. Mean things but true things. She'd never known how much Avaric hated her, until now. Everyone had something to say about her, most of them had thrown a few unflattering nicknames and curse words her way, but few had so violently disliked her as Avaric.
The tenderness in him as she stared at him from across the table and asked him if they were friends. Asking for reassurance. She remembered that evening. She remembered being afraid he'd find out her true feelings.
The realization that he was in love with her, that almost made him stop in his tracks.
His heartbreak as Galinda got off that train without her. If she had known, back then, the pain he felt at not seeing her return, she would have followed her instinct and gone back to Shiz. Maybe.
His determination to find her. His sadness, frustration and hopelessness as he didn't.
Glimpses of evenings spent in the dark, drink in hand, staring up at the sky, hoping against hope to see her. She'd never known, had never suspected, that he missed her so terribly.
The panic in his chest as he stood in front of Yackle and heard her confirm what he wanted and feared the most.
The way his heart actually stopped beating for a moment as he heard her voice and turned to face her. The fear that took over. He'd been afraid of her. Of not finding what he was looking for, now that he'd found what he'd been searching for. Of telling her what he wanted to tell her.
His heart leaped and thudded back into place as his lips moved against hers and she, finally, kissed him back.
The desperation as the soldier boy aimed that gun at her.
The dizziness at their escape per broom. Exhilaration at her hair in his face, her waist in his hands.
Awe as he pulled her dress off her and laid her back down. She'd been so afraid of that moment. If she'd been able to feel then what he'd felt, she wouldn't have been able to believe it. Love, so much of it, as he moved inside her and knew he'd been waiting for that for so long and that whatever came next was a price worth paying.
The sight of her on the floor, after she'd returned from her visit to Nessa, with a bullet in her leg.
The relief as she told him she loved him. How could he ever have doubted that?
His plea to his parents and terror that they wouldn't believe him, that they'd betray her, that he'd lose her.
The moment those soldiers had marched into her fight with Glinda and arrested her. How effortless and doubt-free his decision to save her had been. How his heart broke a little as he had to hurt the beautiful blonde to do so. The pang of regret that what he'd felt for Glinda was real but never enough.
She'd been a witness to it all, been in his shoes, and she could not deny any longer, never again, that he'd meant every word. He loved her, and loved her way too much.
But even as she told herself he'd still be better off without her, even as she convinced herself that being with her would kill him...even as she knew these things to be true...the warmth that spread through her at remembering his memories, was a sensation wholly unfamiliar and thoroughly addictive.
It was why she didn't want to open her eyes and face the reality.
She didn't want the reality.
She wanted to stay in this soft bed, wrapped in blankets with the feeling of his hand around hers, warm and steady.
This cocoon she was in, where she felt loved and warm and safe, was new to her. And she wanted to stay in it forever.
Drakin fussed over her.
Fiyero was rather surprised to see it. The man had always taken excellent care of those that needed it, and the prince knew he'd done no less for Elphaba during her stay and her recovery, but he had never known that Drakin caredfor Elphaba.
But he genuinely seemed to. He spent a lot of time in the room with her. He kept replacing the jug of water by her bedside, even though it hadn't been touched. He straightened the sheets, put fresh flowers on the nightstand.
Elphaba would hate it.
It made Fiyero smile because surely Drakin knew that.
"She'd smack you over the head if she were awake."
"She would do nothing of the sort. Though I must say, my job has never been easier."
He felt bad at that, clearly, because he rushed to add that he much preferred her awake, "snarly and impolite as she may be."
"Me too."
He glanced over at the man that had taken care of him when he'd been sick, had treated scraped knees and bloody noses. Watched as he now did the same for the green woman that had been thrust into his care without any explanation.
"So you like her then?"
The older man looked up at him. He was silent for a moment as he contemplated his answer.
"I must say, Master Fiyero...I never would have expected you to bring home someone like Miss Elphaba."
Fiyero smirked.
"Miss Elphaba...she must love that."
"She does not care for it. But when I asked her what to call her, her answer was that everyone called her the Wicked Witch of the West and that I was free to use that name."
"She would say that, yes."
A fresh glass replaced the unused one on the bedside table.
"I've found it works best to ignore her protests, as opposed to acknowledging them. It's much quicker."
"It really is, isn't it?"
They shared a smile and Fiyero wondered for a fleeting moment if ever in Elphaba's life people had met eyes and smiled over her, in shared concern and love.
"So you do like her?"
"I do. Don't misunderstand me, Master Fiyero. I liked Miss Glinda very much."
"I can tell there is a 'but' at the end of that sentence."
"Miss Elphaba is a better fit for you, I believe."
Fiyero believed that too, but he was still interested to know that other people could feel that way.
"How is that?"
"You seem happier. More importantly, you seem to be comfortable with who you are, and comfortable with who you love. You can't do better than that."
Fiyero nodded.
"I didn't know you cared about her this much."
A bowl of grapes was placed next to the water. Fiyero smiled but didn't say anything. He appreciated Drakin's trouble and concern. It was a relief not to have to explain, to share it with someone else.
"Neither did I. She's a stubborn young thing. She thinks she knows everything. She's terribly cynical. It's not flattering."
"Another 'but'?"
The older man didn't pause his movements as he pulled at the sheets in a useless attempt to straighten them.
"I had my doubts about it all, but years of working for your parents meant that I needed to at least give their choices the benefit of the doubt. And after a few days, I had to notice that she was nervous and uncomfortable at being here. She didn't want to be here at all. But she was here and she stayed, risking being turned in, because she loves you. I needed to give her a chance as well. I guess it was hard to not see it, after that."
"See what?"
A sad look passed over Drakin's face.
"She simply wasn't loved enough. And as a father, I can not imagine not loving your child. Yet, she wasn't. Not that she's said a word about it. It's merely a suspicion."
"A good one. Her father...well, he's dead now, but I would have liked a few minutes in a locked room with him."
"Yes, I imagine you would."
He straightened the sheets one more time and smiled down at his patient.
"There's hope for her yet, though."
Fiyero looked at the woman in question. A green face on a white pillow, softer in sleep than it was at any other time.
"Yes, there is."
She opened her eyes. There wasn't a choice, in the end. She'd have to wake up sometime and she was never one to put off the inevitable.
She found herself staring at a white ceiling. Then, her eyes sweeping the room, she took in the flowers on the nightstand, the open window, the robe on the back of the door, the crisp white linens and the head resting on the bed, near her hands.
She was relieved to find him there. After everything that had happened.
"Hi."
Her voice was hoarse and it made her wonder how long she'd been in that cocoon.
The head moved. Blinking sleep from from his eyes, Fiyero looked up and smiled. It was the same smile he gave her in the morning, sweet and warm, as if waking up next to her was enough to make his day.
"Hey."
His voice was raspy too. What a pair they made.
He reached for the water next to him and handed her a glass.
"Welcome back."
She took the glass and brought it to her lips.
"How long did I sleep for?"
"Four days. You didn't stir."
He didn't need to add how that had worried him, kept him from sleep, as he sat at her bedside.
"Have you been here the whole time?"
"Where else would I be?"
What else would I be doing but look for you?
She did not deserve this man. No one did.
"It worked then? You seem better."
"I am. I'm even better now though."
He looked at her, taking in her sallow face, her tired eyes. He sighed. He didn't want to start this, but he couldn't keep it in.
"I can't say I'm happy about what you did, but I'm grateful."
She didn't answer.
"But Elphaba...Don't ever do that again."
She smiled but it was strained. She wouldn't make such a promise.
"I hope I'll never have to again. Actually, I intend to make sure of that."
He didn't want to know what she meant by that.
"Drakin has been here, fluffing pillows and all that. He was worried. I'm not sure how you did it but the man adores you."
"The men in this castle are fools. I'm starting to suspect there's something amiss with the water supply."
He chuckled. He'd missed her. She'd been right there but he'd missed her.
"I'm glad to see you're still you."
"Unfortunately, I always will be."
"I really hope that's true."
"You're a fool."
"Yeah, I know. Unfortunately, I always will be."
She grinned.
"Unfortunately."
He feigned hurt.
"I'll go get Drakin then, shall I? Tell him you want your pillows fluffed."
That earned him a grimace.
"Please don't."
"Then be sweeter. I have all the power here."
"You wish."
He kissed her cheek and, unwilling to break contact, her nose, her forehead and her hands.
"I'll let Drakin know you're up. He's been pacing."
She rolled her eyes and watched him head for the door with regret.
"Fiyero?"
He paused at the doorway and looked back at her.
"I'm glad to see you too."
She didn't say anything else and he didn't answer, just smiled and winked before disappearing. They didn't need to talk about what had happened, what they'd experienced. It was done and they knew their place in each other's lives. Maybe it wouldn't be enough but it was enough for now.
I am actually considering flying to London to see Rachel Tucker's last show. That's insane, right? Especially since London is ridiculously expensive. Fun fact is that she'll be replaced by her former Glinda :) How awesome must it be to have played both Elphaba and Glinda...
Aside from that; please review? I know it's the summertime and all we want is to be lazy, but I would appreciate it enormously!