Chapter Two

My head's hanging over the toilet bowl as I throw up, my arms grip the sides as my stomach heaves. So I may have said that I'm not scared of anything, but it turns out I was wrong. That was the scariest thing that's ever happened to me. I can't believe he dared me to do that, asshat.

5 minutes earlier

"Finish your dare and promise me we'll carry on playing...tonight when your parents are asleep." I turn from the window and stare at him.

"Ok."

"Then your dare is to walk downstairs, in front of your parents, with your sleeves rolled up."

"No fucking way. No way in Hell. Even if there were snow balls." My face is set and he sees that but that doesn't stop him.

"A dare's a dare," he stands up and walks over to me "you've gotta do it."

"Anything but that. If they see my cuts they'll have me committed. I'll be locked up in the nuthouse with all the other fruit loops!"

"You said they barely pay any attention to you I doubt they'll see them." He grabs my hand and rolls the left sleeve of my t-shirt up my arm to expose my cuts and scars. He looks down at my arm and lightly rubs his thumb over my cuts. "Just get a glass of water or something." He looks me in the eye, he's not joking in fact he looks deadly serious.

"Why are you doing this?"

"It's just a game, Vi come on." Now he's grinning.

"Just a game? Do you not understand?" I pull my arm out of his grip crossing it over my body and back away from him. "Do you know what it would do to my parents if they found out?"

"Come on It's not like you're actually trying to kill yourself. Are you?" He tilts his head to the side ever so slightly.

"No! But they won't see it like that, they'd be crushed. It'd ruin our relationship and they'd never trust me again. They'll lock me away and...and...I don't want to do it!" I'm crying and I can't breathe, why can't I breathe?

"Ok Violet I'm sorry, really I'm sorry, please calm down." He's looking concerned and reaching for me. I'm backing away from him, eyes wide and gasping for air. I'm so dizzy, I hit the wall behind me and slide down it hands over my eyes. What would happen if I did it? What would happen if I did walk downstairs with my sleeves rolled up?

"Come on let's go." Tate holds out his hand. I take it and he pulls me up off of the floor. We head out of my room and towards the stairs.

Ok just walk down the stairs and into the kitchen. Oh don't forget to breath. Walk and breath, walk and breath, walk and breath. I get to the bottom of the stairs and turn towards the kitchen. Dad's not there must be in his office, Mom's unpacking food from a bag. Now's a good time she should be so busy with her Organic crap I'll be able to get in and out pretty much unnoticed.

"Hi honey, good day?" She turns to me with a big smile.

"What? Oh yeah great day, just getting some water then finishing my homework." I reach for a glass in the cabinet.

"Good I'm glad you...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I drop the glass as she screams it smashes on the floor and glass shards fly across the room. I turn to see my Mom looking at my blood covered arm. I can't see any skin just cuts and blood how did that happen?

"Vivien what is it?" My Dad runs in to the room obviously panicked. He finds my Mom collapsed on the floor crying and me standing in a pool of my own blood with a razor in my right hand. I look down to see that I'm naked and most of my body is covered in bleeding cuts. The parts of me that aren't cut are covered in blood as it gushes out of my body.

The look of horror and despair on my Dad's face grips my heart and squeezes tight. As I look at him he starts crying, my eyes bleed and obscure my vision. My Moms screams intensify and my ears bleed from it, dulling the screams a little. I hold up the razor and pull it across my throat slitting it in one swift movement. The last thing I see through my bloodied eyes is my Dads face sprayed with my blood. My eyes close. All I see is black and I hear nothing. That is until Tate's voice pushes through the void.

"Violet, please look at me. I think you're having a panic attack I need you to breathe." Tate? What's going on? I open my eyes and see Tate's face staring at me, real fear in his eyes. I look around and realise I'm not in the kitchen, I'm in my bedroom. I'm crouched on the floor against the wall and Tate's holding my arms in one hand and pushing my hair out of my face with the other. I pull my arms out of his hand and hold them up to my eyes, no fresh blood. My hands run over my body and when I look at them I again see no blood. Oh thank fuck it wasn't real!

But I can still see my Dads face and hear my Moms screams. I feel light headed and nauseous like I'm definitely going to throw up. I pull myself out of Tate's arms, rush to the bathroom and hang my head over the toilet bowl.

I'm a fucking idiot having a panic attack over a dare. A simple 'No not gonna to do it.' would have done, but instead I go and embarrass myself in front of Tate. How pathetic.

"I'm so sorry Violet." I turn my head to see that he's standing behind me in the doorway to the bathroom.

"Fuck. Off." I manage before more vomit makes its way into the toilet bowl.

"Honestly I am. I really didn't know you'd do that, it was just a stupid game." He walks up to me and gently holds my hair out of my face, lightly stroking my back.

"I hate you right now." I think I'm empty now no more vomit left. Oh wrong.

"Have you ever had a panic attack before?"

"No." I lift my head out of the bowl and put the seat down "Congratulations, you gave me my first one."

"Huu."

"Was that a laugh?"

"Sorry."

"I'll breathe on you if you do it again."

He grabs a wash cloth from the sink and dampens it before handing it to me. I sit up against the wall, flush the toilet and wipe my mouth with the cloth. He's looking at me with those dark eyes and I'm eyeing him up, to help me decide if I should punch him or not. He roots around in his jeans pocket, grabs something and extends his hand towards me.

"Gum?"

I glare at him and take the pack stuffing all the pieces in my mouth and chewing slowly. Still not sure if I should punch him or not.

"So...I guess I should leave before you throw me out." His eyes are down again and he's fiddling with his shoes.

"Oh poor little meek Tate, are you sad? Do you think I'm angry at you for making me sick?" He looks up at me confused and I laugh at him. "You're an ass and I am gonna chuck you out. But that's because my parents are home and they'll want to eat soon. When we've finished eating I'm gonna meet you outside your house and we're gonna finish this game." He's smiling now. "I'm gonna make you pay for that."

I throw the wash cloth at him and he smirks.