Good Men

by Endles

Thor is not the perfect brother and Loki is tired of trying because it's already too late when you're thirty, isn't it? AU brother-fic

Good Men

Thor is not the perfect brother and Loki is tired of trying because it's already too late when you're thirty, isn't it?

-x-

The first time Loki sees his brother in over ten years is by accident.

He's at the airport, coming home from his business trip in California and feeling more than a little worn-out. Thor, on the other hand, looks good. He's tanned, grown a beard and sporting far more muscle than Loki remembers him having, even though in his memory the man was never a scrawny guy by any measure. He's scanning the crowd, obviously waiting for someone because he's fidgeting, shifting from one foot to another and fiddling his hands, like he often did when he was eager for something. When his blue eyes spot Loki amidst the other returning passengers his smile drops. It's almost comical, really. Loki shifts his own eyes down, as if pretending he didn't notice the man will force him to stay away. No such luck, as even without looking he knows his brother is carefully trudging past the people towards him.

He expects to feel dread, guilt, a sense of nostalgia, anything, but instead he feels quite empty once he can see a pair of sneakers come to stop in front of him. Nike, because his brother always knew how to buy good sportswear, even if he didn't much care for his clothing otherwise.

"Hey," Thor says voice gruff and surprisingly void of emotion. Maybe he's finally learned something during their time apart, Loki muses. It's unlikely.

"Fancy seeing you here," Loki says, because his work has taught him to respond automatically while his brain is shut down by shock.

Thor gives him an odd look, one that is contemplating whether this is real or not, and nods. "Yes, I could say the same of you."

After that an awkward silence falls between them. Loki's doing his best of looking anywhere but the man's face, while Thor is staring ahead and mostly through him, sometimes checking if there are other familiar faces among the people who pass them by. After a painfully long stretch of time Thor opens his mouth again.

"So…" he clears his throat, maybe to give himself time to think of something to say or to gather courage. "Do you live here, or are you only visiting?"

Of course he doesn't know, just like Loki doesn't know for certain where Thor lives. He feels an irrational surge of old anger, the childish impulse to tell him off, say it's none of his business and merely walk away. He knows it not going to work this time, not when Thor is right there and waiting for an answer with a plea in his eyes. He sighs softly.

"I live here." Not waiting for the man to reply he goes on, eyes flickering from the people to the flat scenery outside the window and then back to Thor's shoes. "I'm a marketing manager at Stark Industries."

"They have a store here?" Thor asks quizzically.

"At Gold Avenue, yes." Loki swallows. So maybe he doesn't live in town, because he couldn't have missed the building. "I guess you're not very familiar with the city?" he offers.

Thor smiles at that. "Not really, I only moved here a few months ago to live with Jane," he says before he seems to remember who he's talking to. "Ah, um, Jane is my fiancée. I'm waiting for her, actually."

"I see. Congratulations." There's a pause before Loki makes a show of checking the time from watch, a ridiculously expensive gift from Tony that he's too vain not to wear. "I think I need to get going," he says, even though there's nobody waiting for him at home and his whole afternoon is free of any meetings, because he suddenly feels the urge to flee the scene before Thor's no doubt perfect wife-to-be arrives. He reaches for the handle of his suitcase and manages to take a few before he's stopped by a hand on his shoulder. Thor's grasp is firm, warm, suffocating, and now Loki can feel all those things he was expecting when he first realized it was actually Thor standing in the lobby. He really, really needs to get out.

"Loki, wait," Thor says and if Loki didn't know better he'd say his tone is regretful. Like Thor knew anything of remorse. "Couldn't you give me your number? Address maybe…? Something other than…"

"I think we have nothing to talk about, brother," Loki says crisply, very stiff under the touch. "It was good to see you."

He wiggles free of his brother and walks away, out of the building and doesn't look back. He knows the feeling of his brother's eye drilling holes into his skull all too well. Once he's sitting at the back seat of a cab, listening to that year's big summer hit, he feels a wave of nausea hit him. He only bites his lip to fight it back and hopes, against all odds, that this was the last time he would hear of his brother.

-x-

After the sudden meeting at the airport, Loki has the whole night to wallow in the badly repressed memories that start bubbling to surface with such vigor he'd think they were only waiting for a chance like this to strike. It might have been therapeutic, he tries to believe, meeting his brother and seeing that maybe he'd grown a bit in terms of emotional intelligence over ten years. He's only trying to kid himself with the thought, though, because seeing Thor had been like seeing a ghost from his past he thought he'd left behind.

He had been five years old when the Odinsons had taken him in. There isn't much Loki can remember of his life before that, only vague memories of a smiling woman with tired eyes and the presence of a man who seemed cold and distant. One single photograph had survived the house fire that had killed his parents and left him an orphan. It had been taken at the hospital right after Loki's birth and his parents were smiling at the camera the baby sleeping in his mother's arms. He still has the picture somewhere, but it never was enough to answer all the burning questions he has. He prefers not to wonder about what his life could have been, but he can't deny that he is still bitter, sometimes.

On the couch of his apartment Loki rolls his head back against a cushion. The TV's turned on but the program is some meaningless reality show, so he ignores it and lets his mind wander.

Thor had been seven-years-old at the time and a big kid, just like he still seems to be. They'd hit off well enough, considering how weird it felt to suddenly gain a brother. Thor liked being a big brother, Loki knows, but maybe that was exactly the problem. He always treated him as smaller, weaker, as someone who didn't know what was good for him, someone who couldn't make his own decisions. For someone who initially felt a bit odd in his own skin, like he didn't belong, it was horrible to be treated like he never could fit in, like he always had to be looked out for. It was all done out of brotherly affection, Thor never saw or realized how bad his actions made Loki feel, and that was even worse. At the beginning Loki felt like he shouldn't complain, so he got good at hiding how he felt and in the end… well, it was too late to warn the villagers when the dam was already broken.

Things between them got gradually worse as they both grew older. Their parents—because Loki got used to thinking them as that and calling them 'mother' and 'father' while he always remembered what he was and what he wasn't—had their own problems. Their father was sick, very much so, even though nobody told Loki about it, and their mother grew more and more tired trying to hold them all together alone. Neither had the time to notice how their children were doing.

Much later Loki realized that Thor was more affected by their parents' tough situation. It was understandable, because he was older at the time and trying to grow from a child to adult while he had nobody to turn to at home. To all who knew Thor as a friend he seemed the same, always smiling always positive and brave, but none of those people knew him like Loki did. He was struggling, putting on a mask in front of others to cover his own insecurity. Loki was the same, but on top of that he had Thor, who took out his frustration on his younger brother. It still wasn't like he meant ill, but he couldn't see Loki as anything but as the small, lost boy who needed protection, that he had been in the beginning.

When they were both in high school, it seemed like they were both only making nice to please others, while in the inside neither trusted the other. They argued a lot, but it never got bad because the bitterness between them was always veiled. To others it sounded like brothers throwing playful jabs at each other, but to them it was real. Yet, they were brothers and the bond between them wasn't broken, just slightly cracked. They tried to get along, tried not to break it any more because it was their responsibility as siblings to stand each other.

It was a Saturday, the day that shattered it all. Loki had just been accepted into university, but he hadn't had the time to tell anyone yet because things had been busy and the only one he actually wanted to tell was his mother. Thor was working at a local gym at the time, saving money to move out of home, except on that Saturday he had been fired.

Loki closes the television, staring at the ceiling as the events of that day open before his eyes. He can still remember it clearly, like it had been only yesterday and not a decade ago.

Thor and father were in the living room, the older man looking irritated and tired and more fragile than Loki ever remembered seeing him. He was in the kitchen, listening to Thor getting a lecture when their father's deep rambling suddenly stopped and was replaced by Thor's worried calls. Loki rushed to the living room, feeling somehow detached from his body as he saw their father's body slump against Thor's and heard Thor yelling at him to call an ambulance. The detached feel didn't leave him even when he and Thor waited with outside of the emergency ward, or when the nurse came outside with downcast eyes and they walked in to find their mother crying.

It was the stress, the doctors had explained. He had had a weak heart all his life. It wasn't their fault. It wasn't their fault, and yet it was.

The shouting started once they got home, because of course it did. Their mother was helpless to watch her sons yelling at each other. Accusations, bottled up hatred, all the bitterness between them broke loose. It was all too much for Loki, the way Thor always was as irresponsible, never saw what his actions caused, never saw how other people suffered because of him. He was tired, tired of making things right after his brother, while Thor believed he was being the wiser and the stronger, tired of this excuse for a family and he had to get away. Furious over all limits and dead silent he marched into his room, packed his bags and left. Nobody stopped him. Nobody called the police after him or tried to bring him back. So much for family, he thought.

-x-

Loki wasn't at his father's funeral, so he never heard the touching speech that their mother gave at the ceremony. She, of course, told the mourners about how her husband had been the best man she ever had met and of the shared life they had held and of all their years together. But what really moved many hearts that day, were the words she ended her speech with.

"My husband," she said with a shaky voice, "had only one wish in this world and that was for his two sons to grow up to become good men. He wished that they could trust each other, and lean on each other even when times got tough and remember that their father had only ever wanted them to be good brothers to each other, nothing more."

-x-

The next day he goes to work and nothing out of the ordinary happens, so he counts it as a win. Two days and he's pretty sure that Thor has realized there's nothing left for them to say or do and begins to relax, falls back to his life and tries to forget the meeting at the airport. Four days and he finds a lost looking woman wandering in the staff's break room, when he goes in to fetch himself a cup of coffee. In his mind he curses Barton for letting people in, again.

"Can I help you miss?" He asks with his practiced customer service voice. The woman startles and turns to him, smiling nervously.

"Oh you see," she says, "I was looking for the manager and the clerk just showed me in here…"

"I'll remind him about his manners," Loki says with humor. It's exactly what he will do, but there won't be any humor included in that conversation. "Loki Odinson," he crosses the distance easily with three strides and shakes hands with her. Her breath hitches in her throat when he says his name. "So, for whom do I owe the pleasure?"

"I, um, I'm Jane Foster." She bites her lip. Loki feels his smile freeze because the name sounds familiar. "I'm your brother's fiancée, but I think you guessed that already."

Loki lets his expression drop, putting on an ironic smile he usually put when he's expected to be uncomfortable by something. Mostly it's about things caused by Tony and then he's actually just amused, but this time the feeling behind it is real.

"Right… he didn't have the guts to come and sent you?"

"Actually," she starts, "I came because I wanted to. I didn't even tell him about this, so it's between you and me. A secret if you want?" She smiles impishly and Loki has to admit that he kind of likes this woman by first impression.

"I see." He beckons her to sit down and gets them both cups, because he's not derailing his coffee break because of this, whatever it's going to be. "So, what can I do for you Ms. Foster?"

She smiles shortly, like remembering something funny. "I've heard you have a way with words, Loki… can I call you Loki? You should call me Jane. Anyway…" She doesn't really look for his confirmation, instead scanning the room as if gathering her thoughts and finally stopping to look straight at him. Her eyes are brown and warm. "I'm not much of a talker, so I really can't persuade you in any way, but I really, really wish you and Thor could make up…"

"It's not that simple," Loki starts to say but she raises a finger.

"I'm not finished yet, there's still an ulterior motive!" It's almost funny when she says it looking like she desperately wants him to believe that she's capable of plotting behind somebody's back. "I'm asking you to this, because I want you to be the best man at our wedding. No really, all of his friends are… lovely, in their own way, but I really, really don't want to hear anyone of them hold speeches or trust them with the rings. Especially Fandral."

Loki remembers Fandral and almost scowls.

"I can understand your concern, but…" He watches her face fall. She's very open about her emotions, Loki's noticed. When she talks her eyes and hands are moving and you can follow the exact emotions she's feeling with every word. "We do not get along." He says it with an air of finality, but takes an apologetic expression to soften the blow for her. "You must know that we haven't had any contact in over ten years, so I'm hardly a suitable pick for best man. Besides…" He pauses and for once doesn't actually know how to phrase his words.

"You know," Jane says softly, using the chance to get a word in edgewise, "If you really didn't want him in your life, you wouldn't have told him where you work in the first place, or listened to me now."

Loki blinks. He blinks, because she not only guessed what he was trying to say, but also has a point. He blinks, because suddenly he's not so sure what he's doing, what he's trying to accomplish with this conversation. After a short silence he says: "There's no need to be impolite even when you don't care for something."

"Whatever you say." Jane smiles and there's a knowing look in her eyes that infuriates Loki under his composure. Rising up she digs a card out of her purse and offers it to Loki, who has also stands up. "Here's an invitation to the wedding and my number, so you can call if something comes up. It was nice to meet you, Loki."

"Likewise," he says and shakes her hand before showing her to the door. Barton's lazing off behind the counter playing with his company issued smart phone, but snaps to attention when they walk into the room. Loki sends him a glare. There's no way he's forgotten about having to reprimand the man. When the door falls shut after Ms. Foster he turns and smiles at the clerk. Barton swallows nervously.

"Now, what have I said about letting customers back there, hm?"

He ends up having a good day after all.

-x-

He's making dinner when the phone starts buzzing, signaling an incoming call. It's from Tony, which isn't all that surprising. The man calls him at least once a week, usually when he's done something to piss of Pepper and he's wondering what the hell he did and what he should do to make it better. Though half the time Loki's advice gets him screwed even worse, he keeps calling back. It's almost adorable really.

"Miss me yet?" Tony asks as soon as he picks up the call.

Loki half-snorts. "You'd like that no doubt, but no. I'm still trying to recover from our meeting and I can tell it's going to take a while."

"Baby, you hurt me," the man whines, making Loki smile despite himself. "And here I thought we had something special."

"You say that to every girl you meet."

"But with you I mean it!" Tony cries.

Loki chuckles. "Does Pepper know you're saying this?"

There's a pause, and when Tony returns he sounds slightly more serious. "Yes, actually, she gave me her seal of approval for this phone call. You should be honored, really."

"Oh yes, I am honored. Very honored."

They chatter mindlessly for some time, Loki finishing his dinner on the side. He likes listening to Tony's rambling, even when he stops in the middle of a sentence and starts about something that's probably not even supposed to make sense for Loki. It's the way his mind works, bringing up a new, extraordinary idea whenever. It needs to be inspected closely immediately and then either tossed away as useless, or kept in mind for further development. When they met, in university, all the other people had found him odd. Tony Stark, the son of billionaire arms dealer, a genius like his father—everybody had known him, his fame, but not many had approached him. He was younger than them, yet way ahead many, and his brilliant mind had more worked to repel people.

Loki had been alone too at the time, and through some odd circumstances found himself in Tony's company more often than not. They had been years apart, Loki studying economics while Tony did, well, many things, and yet they'd hit off. Loki liked him then, and still does, for his wit, his humor in everyday things and they way he understands what it feels like to be judged, to not be accepted. As for Tony, he guesses the man liked having somebody there who listened to him, not because he was rich or smart, but because he was Tony. The boy that could build circuit boards with his eyes closed, but never grasped human emotions completely. The boy that grew up to be a man admired by all, but who still had no idea how to keep a relationship, except for the strange one he had with Pepper.

After they'd both graduated from MIT Tony had offered Loki a position in the higher chain of his company, but he'd refused. He had wanted to carve his own way. That was how he had ended up in his home state, still working for Tony, but from a longer distance. He liked running the store and being in charge, though he guessed that his was the only Stark-electronics store in the whole country that was directly under the director's supervision. That he didn't mind at all, because a little help never killed anybody.

Besides, it was nice when they could talk over the phone during working hours under the pretense of business. It suited them both quite nicely, Tony wanting to escape his duties and Loki most often just having nothing to do, because he was so good at putting his subordinates to work.

"So," Tony asks in the phone. "Anything happen in your life lately… I mean, since Sunday?"

Loki opens his mouth but no words come out. Tony waits for a while before calling out his name, slow and questioning.

"I… I happened to meet my brother when I was coming home," he starts out after some consideration. Tony knows that he hasn't been keeping contact with his family, but he doesn't know it all. Nobody knows it all, and if Loki can prevent it, nobody will. "His fiancée visited me the other day. She seems determined in making me come to their wedding."

Tony seems to ponder about his words for a while. "So you gonna go? Cause, hey, I'd totally dig a wedding. I mean, those invitations always include a plus one, right?"

His voice is laced with humor, but it's an honest question underneath.

"I—well." Loki pauses. "I'm not sure."

"You know what I do when don't know what to do?" Tony asks.

"Getting drunk will not solve the problem." Loki rarely drinks, but he knows his friend does it a lot. Probably more than he should. They don't talk about it, but at times it lingers between them making the air just a tad uncomfortable to breathe.

"It's your call," Tony says, trying for nonchalant, but ending up somewhere between sad and ironic. "But if you change your mind, I have a beach. Those are great for drinking."

Loki snorts. "You're the only person on this planet who would suggest that I fly over state to get drunk at Malibu."

"I've got to stay fresh, don't wanna lose my touch, you see. I still want to make you scoff in disbelief when you're eighty and ugly."

"I'll call it a miracle if you make it to forty," Loki says, but there's warmth in his voice that he doesn't let others hear. They bicker for a little longer, before he ends the call, promising to keep the billionaire updated on the wedding business. Loki just wishes he knew what to do.

-x-

He sets the wedding invitation on top of the drawer in the hallway. It's quite pretty, a simple folded card with a drawing of the Andromeda galaxy. Loki wouldn't know the reason behind the unusual choice of picture, but he suspects it has something to do with Jane. Thor always did like weird sci-fi shows, though, so it might connect with the picture, but nobody knew of that and Loki finds it unlikely that his brother would ever reveal the secret. It was something that they did, as brothers, and it was only between the two of them.

He glances at the card every morning when he's heading out to work and every evening when he returns home. Three days after he gives in and checks the date. It's a bit over three months away, so it'll be a late summer wedding. He also finds another drawing inside, a portrait of Thor and Jane smiling at each other. It's almost sickeningly sweet and he closes the card with a scowl, wondering who has done these drawings on the invitations. There's no name, or initials on the card, so he assumes it must be one of either Thor's or Jane's friends. Loki amuses himself for a while trying to imagine any of the Thor's friends he knew holding a pencil. Though they must still be in contact, because Jane seemed to know Fandral, there's no way any of them could have learned to draw like that.

He tries to make himself forget the date, but checks it from his calendar anyways—the whole day is free. He makes a little note in the corner, something he can overlook easily if he wants to. The next day he doesn't even look at the card, wipes the wedding from his mind completely and concentrates on other things. The day after that he picks up his phone and dials Jane Foster's number. When the woman answers, Loki's not sure which one of them is more surprised.

She spends nearly the entire call babbling about wedding related things and then something about her work. She's an astrophysicist, which explains the picture on the invitation, and Loki can hear perfectly how stressed she is. He knows his brother isn't that good at organizing, but nobody should be taking care of their wedding alone. In a strange burst of madness he makes a promise to help her with organizing and her voice is so very grateful that he doesn't dare take his words back, no matter how he wants to. Somehow, she manages to coerce him into meeting Thor because they need him fitted for a tuxedo.

After ending the call Loki stares at himself in the mirror and thinks that he needs somebody to tell him that this is a bad idea, because oddly enough it doesn't feel like one.

-x-

It does turn out to be a terrible idea—of course it does—because almost as soon as he sees his brother it goes all wrong. They go through some meaningless pleasantries, neither trying to shake the other's hand, and get to the Tailor's in relative peace, that much can be said. Loki's skittish, tiptoeing around his brother like he's afraid to set off the fire alarm at any false move. Thor just seems restrained; like he's holding back everything he is to remain calm and uncaring. Their conversation mostly consists of debating which color would be good and Loki giving advice to the tailor, while Thor grudgingly remains silent. Once they're left alone he drops the bomb.

"I missed you, brother," he says, because he's like that, straightforward, saying things without thinking too much. Loki's throat feels tight.

"Did you, really?" he says drily, not feeling up for this conversation.

"We all did." Thor shifts awkwardly, taking a few steps in his suit. It's traditional, black and simple but charming, quite like Thor himself. Loki might at times hate the man, but he'd be damned if he didn't know how to pick a good suit. "Mom wouldn't let me look for you. She said you'd come back when you'd be ready. That you'd come back home. But you never did."

Loki doesn't look at him. He only imagines the sour look that his brother must be sporting. Nothing's funny about the situation but he feels like laughing so he chuckles. "No," he agrees calmly, "I didn't. I had no home to come back to."

"That's a lie," Thor raises his voice and Loki can feel the old anger he had already buried rise. It burns underneath his skin, making it hard to see, hard to breathe. "You always had a home with us, always will have."

"Why is it then," Loki asks dangerously silent, the anger pushing him on, "that I can only remember a shadow, a lie that could never be the truth? I was always in your shade and you made it damn clear that you knew it. There was never a place for me in that home."

He notices the tailor has returned and is now eyeing them warily, afraid to step forward or speak a word. He is too bitter to care. He only waits for Thor's words, spoken in a broken tone after a short silence.

"That's not what our father said, he—"

"Your father, not mine," Loki interrupts, too far gone in his anger to let the man finish. He curtly walks away brushing past the very confused looking tailor. It's raining outside, even though the weather forecast promised clear skies. He walks through the rain all the way to his apartment, never once looking back. When he finally gets inside he's soaked through, but his mind is clear. With something akin to guilt he realizes that he's running away and sinks down to the floor, back against the door. He wonders if it's too late to be having that revelation, now.

-x-

He rises along with first rays of the sun with a throbbing migraine. Cursing his life he pads to the bathroom and takes a dose of painkillers nearly large enough to take out a small village. There are three messages in his answer machine when he checks, one from Tony, asking if his meeting with his brother went okay and two from Jane, first a simple apology and the second a longer one.

"So," her voice comes from the speaker, apologetic. "I already said I'm sorry, so I'm not repeating that, though I am, sorry, I mean. Well… the thing is," she seems to struggle for words, sighs and starts again with a completely different, strangely fond tone. "You know how me and Thor met?" Loki snorts, because she knows he doesn't. "I… I might've bumped him with my SUV. No really, don't laugh, it was horrible. I thought I had killed him!" She sounds so embarrassed that Loki can't help the smile that forces its way to his lips. "He only got a mild concussion though, thank god, but I still remember what he said to me, first thing he ever said to me right there. He said," she takes a breath, "he said that the last time he was in a hospital was because of you and that it was aright because in the end you got him out of there too. He looked so… so sad even though he was smiling. That was the thing that first drew me to him."

There's a long pause before she continues, voice small. "I understand if you don't want to try again, but I want you to know that he really misses you. I'd like to think that people only ever get better as they get older, so whatever bad was between you in the past, I think you're wiser than it now, both of you. Okay. I'm gonna go now, before I end up embarrassing myself by crying or… well. I hope you'll call. Bye."

Loki lets out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. Looking up to the ceiling he smiles a bit. Then he picks up the phone.

"I hope you realize he doesn't deserve you, at all," Loki says as soon as the woman on the line picks up.

Jane laughs. "It takes a great woman for every good man there is."

-x-

They meet outside a bakery, Loki, Jane and Thor. It's a sunny Friday afternoon. Thor has his arm around Jane's waist. Jane smiles and makes a joke about Loki's sunglasses. He doesn't mind. They walk in and taste cakes and Loki pokes fun at Thor's appetite and Jane laughs and it all seems normal. By the time the finally decide that the cake with raspberry and white chocolate was the best, he realizes that he actually feels good, happy even. Thor catches his eyes when they're heading out and smiles, still a bit unsure but honest. It doesn't even take that much to return the smile.

-x-

Slowly, small things at a time they begin to mend their broken trust. Thor visits his work place and they end up catching a movie with Barton, who seems to believe that making nice with his boss' brother is the way to a raise. Jane calls Loki over for dinner and somehow before he knows it, his visits to their house have become almost regular. Loki works on the wedding arrangements with Jane, while Thor tries to be useful but mostly ends up being pushed out of the room, like after he messes up the seating plan or the time he accidentally knocks over a vase.

They go fishing together, Thor and Loki, because they used to do that with their father when they were young. The trip only causes a few vaguely uncomfortable moments and in the end Thor's smile is a bit freer than in the beginning, so Loki guesses it counts as a success. He reports his progress to Tony who seems indefinitely amused by his antics and is completely convinced that he's also invited to the wedding party.

Loki feels he owes it to the man for putting up with him, so he brings it up over one of their usual dinners. For the record, he probably should have been prepared to their reaction. As soon as he lets out the name Tony Stark, Jane drops her fork and Thor merely stops mid-bite, mouth falling open. Loki tells him it's disgusting, because it is, and he swallows an almost painfully large amount of paella. After that Loki spends the entire evening explaining to them how the hell he knows the second richest man in the country. All in all it's an amusing experience to say the least.

At the end of the night, Thor ends up driving Loki home because he has drank some wine and Jane refuses to let him behind the wheel. He figures he can come get his car the next day so he lets the woman have her way, even if it's not like he has drank that much. It's peaceful driving through the city outskirts in the moonlight with Thor humming along the song on the radio. Loki lets his eyes fall to his hands.

"I'm happy for you," Thor says softly breaking the silence.

Loki gives him an odd look. "You're the one who's getting married, as far as I know?"

Thor laughs, eyes wrinkling with his smile. It rushes through Loki like a tidal wave, the feeling of being the one that makes Thor laugh. He always liked that, even when they were younger, and it's one of the things he actually missed.

"I hope so," Thor answers still smiling. "I meant that I'm happy for… for how your life turned out, I guess. That you had somebody to count on."

Loki can hear the words left unsaid as clear as if he had shouted them from the roof: "even if it wasn't me." His chest feels painfully tight, because he knows his brother, or knew the person he used to be, and for that boy admitting that there could be someone better than him would've been worse than dying.

"It could've been better," Loki says. What he means is, "You could've been there too."

Thor throws him a look, that's warm and just a bit sad. "Guess there's no point in crying over the past, right?"

He nods. "Right."

-x-

Two weeks before the wedding, when they're finalizing the seating charts for the reception Loki realizes that he's really going to be the best man in his brother's wedding. The thought makes him stop moving for a second, because it seems so ridiculous. It's true though, and what makes it even truer to him is when they take the drive to their hometown with Thor to pick up their mother for the wedding. Loki's almost afraid she's going to have a heart attack when she sees him on her doorstep. She soon gets a grip though and because she never was the kind of woman for overly emotional welcomes she merely steps aside and says: "About time you came home, Loki."

Words can't even begin to describe how relieved he feels.

While still in town, they visit their father's grave with Thor. They stand silently in the wind for a long time, side by side, before the older man grabs Loki close by the shoulder and they turn away, walking like that back to the car.

Tony arrives two days before the wedding, just in time to take part in Thor's bachelor party, which Loki had frankly forgotten, but luckily Thor didn't seem to mind the lack of activities. Tony gets well along with Thor, and even if Thor is baffled by the much shorter man who talks like an express train, nobody notices. Well, nobody except Loki, who spends the night silently laughing at Thor's confusion whenever Tony talks and puts up with all of Thor's old friends who still remember him. He also gets to meet the person who drew the pictures on Thor's and Jane's wedding invitations, as does Tony.

Thor had told him about his work in bits during the dinners and the fishing trips. He had always wanted to be a fire fighter, as Loki remembers from their childhood, but it turned out he was a cop, sort of. He was part of some Special Forces that, while still in training, were designed to handle crisis situations like terrorist attacks or school shooting incidents. Thor said it was called the Avenger Initiative and name made Loki laugh. He guesses it's cool, though, having a brother who's fighting crime as a real life superhero.

One of Thor's coworkers is Captain Steve Rogers, a man with no sense of humor as Tony informs him right after meeting the guy. Loki doubts that his negative reaction to Tony has anything to do with his sense of humor. Steve turns out to be the one behind the drawings of the Andromeda galaxy and the couple. He's a soldier through and through, a real American hero Tony says sarcastically and it turns out Tony has heard of Rogers from his father, but he has a talent with a pen. He admits that he was an art student before enlisting, but he doesn't explain what made him change his career.

For all that Steve Rogers seems to think Tony Stark an obnoxious man, who can't take anything seriously, and for all that Tony keeps jabbing him with his jokes and disagreeing with the man, they spend a surprising amount of time together in the bachelor party. Loki figures he shouldn't be all that surprised when they actually become good friends afterwards—Tony always seemed to most like the people who weren't in the slightest impressed by him, just look at Loki himself or Pepper.

-x-

The day of the wedding rolls around slightly cloudy, but with the lingering warmth of late summer. The ceremony is held outside, at a garden center on the east side of the city. The place is crowded with the couple's friends and family. Tony's flirting with Sif, who Loki remembers dated Thor when they were still teenagers, but he guesses that they ended up as friends. The woman seems utterly unimpressed by the billionaire and Steve drags him off, saying that he should know better than to bother a dame. Even Barton got an invitation after Loki told Thor he could stop hanging around his workplace just so he could spend time with the clerk—mostly because it was really distracting Barton from his work. He's eyeing wistfully at one of Thor's female colleagues and Loki prays to whatever gods that he doesn't end up embarrassing himself or breaking his nose, because that would be bad for business.

Jane's father has passed away, quite like Thor's and Loki's, so she is walked down the aisle by her long time mentor Erik Selvig. She looks absolutely beautiful in the pearl decorated wedding dress that Loki helped her pick. Loki stands tall and proud next to Thor, feeling their mother's eyes on them though she ought to be looking at the bride. He feels the weight of the ring in his pocket, too, like a brand of trust that burns into his skin. He looks up to meet his brother's eyes.

"You're a good man," he says just as the music quiets down and Thor begins to turn to Jane.

He stops, throwing one last smile at Loki, one without any remorse.

"So are you."

Under the warm October sun Loki watches his brother marry the woman who's much too good to the boy he was, but perfect for the man he has become. He smiles, as he listens to the priest's words, and casts his eyes to the sky. He might've not been there to witness it, but in the end their father got his wish fulfilled. And who knows, it might've been Loki's wish too, all along.

END

AN:

This used to be named: that fic I seriously hate because it sucks and I horribly ruined everyone's characterization and it's not believable in the least and hey, no plot or possibly a lame attempt at is

So, uh, let's just say that I have mixed feelings about this story. On the other hand, I'm pleased because I really wanted to write a brother fic about Thor and Loki, but then again, I have a feeling that I did a pretty poor job of it. Whatever, I'll let you decide. Just send me hate-mail if it sucks tremendously and I'll take it down. If I can be bothered, that is.

Love, Endles