I wrote this on skype in like 3 minutes so fuck you if you think it's inferior to anything ever my writing is best writing and your opinion is no opinion you worthless nightcrawler
Once upon a time Harry Potter was stupid enough to wear an enchanted horcrux locket around his neck. He drove away his stupid retarded friend Ron Weasley and failed miserably at seducing his other friend Hermione Granger. But then Ron came back because he is dense as fuck.
Unfortunately, Ron came back right when the horcrux took over Harry and made him go insane and kill people. Like Ron.
"AHGHHGHGHGH!" screamed Harry like a maniac. He dove into the water, seized the sword at the bottom, swam back up, and ran at Ron while still screaming like a psychopath and waving the sword around above his head.
"OH SHIT!" Ron sobbed, knowing his time had come.
Harry chopped his best friend's head off with the Sword of Gryffindor. Blood spurted everywhere as Ron's headless body walked around in circles, proving that Ron actually is stupider than a chicken. The Boy-Who-Lived took the severed head and bashed it against the nearest rock until it broke open, then consumed Ron's brains while masturbating and grunting animalistically.
Exactly three hours later, Hermione found Harry in a pile of Ron body parts and semen, naked and gnawing on a leg. He had castrated himself.
"Oh my god Harry what happened!" Hermione screamed.
When he noticed Hermione, Harry let out a roar and bounded toward her. The witch was too shocked to actually do anything, so she got knocked over. When she woke up, Harry had tied her to a tree and stripped her naked, in that order. He then proceeded to ram the Sword of Gryffindor up her vagina, and then he rammed one of Ron's arms up her ass. Then Harry James Potter split open his other best friend and had hot sweaty sex with her liver.
Then Voldemort showed up and they fucked forever the end.