A?N: SOOOOOOO it is march 19! and. EveryOnes. HAPPY ST JEREMYS DAY LETS ALL GO TO SCOTLAND AND SAY HIHI TO HIM !

so. before we begin. I just wanted to say. that people in the previous ccapter? thought that I was "Uniformed" about certain words. So. Let me be clear. I am an expert. Kay? The puffiest of experts. Mmhmm. Because I listen to Modest Mouse. Witch his a ban for humble rats. So listen to them, because I emboss them, and I represent the natural of they're music and lyrics! So listen too them!

Also – REBOOOOOOOS!

So tht B*#$ ASTRID came to my kingdom to give me a notice? I sad know, cuz what? ur astrid BI&*! I love u EDILIO , the luciougs latin lover of spain! KILL this infidel! and so Astrif took out her trustry rusted otter and scrapped a hole in her bitchy stomach that f**** bitch.

So then I floated around the room like a fair waving my magic wand and wiping my hair left and right and up and down and BACK AND FORTH (getit? best song ever!) then landed lightly on a lily pad with an elephant and spun around five times before turning astrid into a giraffe.

she looked so silly. cuze she's a v***ling h***p. just goes to show what a b*ad person she is! lol. I am such a clever witch, right? Just like Hermoine Puckle!

"Hello," said Astrid, doing a dance of diplomacy. "I am a fucking bitch from h*ll!"

Toto says yeah lol that's right.

Then Tooty fruity comes a-prancing in in a wave of cutey pie ness, all brightly colored rainbow waving his little head back and forth like a proud pony at a pony show but only for the proud ones, no shameful horses allowed here, lol, just goaticorns with head shaking skills.

"HII TOOTY FRUITY!" I say, and we have hot passionate love machining right there in front of everyone!

Tooty fruity giggles bashfully (LOL don't you just love shy goaticorns) then gorily impales Astrid on his cute little old horn. Her guts and blood all spurt out onto l=the floor like juice out of a juice box when you step on the box and juice come out. Just blood and her stomach and muscles pouring on out onto the floor. And tooty fruity giggles again and drives the horn in deeper and deeper and astrid screams in ecastasy as he drives the horn in. the blood is so red and dark in the torchlight of the fortress walls as she DIES like the B*TCH she is OH HA HA HA ASTRID SERVES YOU RIGHT

"she shouldn't of insulted you" edilio says, shaking his head all fruitful. "You being such a pure soul and all."

"I know, right?" I say, sniffling and hugging the adorable tooty fruity. "I am crying."

The cutins flapped sexily in the provacative wind. Tooty ate Atrid's buddy copse adoably and bubbly. OH tutty fruity! eat that bitch! EAT HER EAT HER EAT HER! Several sexy cockroaches breeded in her brains doing dances of pure cutness. Thaen cute tooty had sex with the rotten corpse. YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH! YOU DO IT ! cried the elated AYNDA! EDilio was kinda turndd on. He waned to goin in on the innocent scene but how? HE GOT A GREAT PUFFY IDEA!

he started singing gee by girls generation, dancing in one off those cute lil' uniforms, and all the boys and girls join him dancing in the background in the epitome of MASCLINTY! as all this is going on.

it's the CUTEST SCENE EVER! LIKE KAWAIII!

Then jake says "Amanda will you marry me?"

and I jump up and down, squealing with muscles like that of a PANDA! who could have forseen this beauty twist in such a beauty told story? it was like my life was being riden by the perfect, intelligent otter (not what im saying, its what amynda thinks lol)

so me and jake dance around the room as toto continues giggling and astrids cute little old self is on the floor by her entails in all a adorable pile like aw smile and then I say, smiling with the innocence and naivete that a girl of my caliber displays, "I have been waiting for this day."

He smiles, spining me in his masking arms of muscles as huge as eggs. "As have I my sweetest amynda."

"did it hurt" I say smiling coyly

"did what" he says brow burrowed in confusion. "hurt"

"when you fell from heaven." like an angle. get it.

Jake shrieks in gales of laughter that echo off the highest beams of the ceiling. "what a clever thing to say."

he continues laughing falling all over himself in an adorable pile shrieking in laughter, then screaming and tearing at his hair and screaming in delight "what a witty witty girl I be so lucky!"

I blush bashful. what an honest man.

edilio saws the f****ers head off.

I no! my SEXY GROTEZK LUVER!

Goticorn takes the saw out of the infested corpse and then proceeds to saw off edilios left hand.

WHY?

Stop this violence! im a pasificst im part of PETA im liberal! says the peaceful maiden of the gods. The gods bestowed me with the power to eat evil people like you you evil latin HATER!(IM SO CLEVER RIGHT? I SAD LATIN LOVER BUT THEN I SAD LATIN HATER!)

then jake and edilio put their arms around each other and say lol no jk not really dead only fooling you then have sex real quick then grin at me all playful.

"oh you two," I say, shaking my head like july cleaver. "you two kids just can't keep yourselfs out of troubles, now can you?"

jake's eyes go so wide and his grin stretches to both ears, showing every single one of his perfect white straight long pointy teeth and nashes those teeth together. "wow, Amanda. funny, and inside full too. I am so lucky to have you for a wives."

"oh I am not your wife yet" I say all coy and flirty.

"you will be," he said, grin stretching even farther and tipping his muscle square jaw cleft chin tan face back and rolling back his super long eyelashes. "oh you will be."

I squeal like a chair.

A chair after it had hanky panky with a sext mouse! or something like tht. anyways, we go to france to find my estranged uncle. Unfortunatly tooty kills him with his fierce horn like a fluffy bunny drenched in blood and gravy. Ay "Quiero cararme contigo mi AMOR! dijo el amable EDILIO el rey de todo. OK I learned some great French words for pierre. Pierre this is for you you sexy beast! I had a sxy hugging session with with his cute chisled beauftifiul great sexy goodly brother body. WHAT A NIGHT. We eat cookies by the fire.

Except no. THAT DID NOT HAPPEN. IT DIDN'T. It would have, if the earthity earth was a just place and not a PUFFY one, but no, Pierre says (LYIN duh) that he wants me to leave him alone and that I can't speak French, but I'm trying and that's all that COUNTS I say "hey pierre I speak french ill be your friend" and he says no leave me alone you scare me stop sneaking up behind me and trying to hug and kiss me because that scares me.

and I say that's love don't be scared of love you silly old goat and smack him and then he says ow that hurts and I say no it doesn't stop LYING to me but then he says leave me alone and I say stop trying to run away from love and hes all like I don't love you but it's a LIE I KNOW IT'S A LIE.

so then I tell teacher "teacher teacher pierres LYING" and the teacher won't hit him or ANYTHING! she says I just need to leave him alone and I say NO I cant leave him ALONE im in LOVE you sick sick person and yes he IS lying he says I can't speak French and I can!

Pierre is such a horrid sick perv! Your only in terested in my perfect sexy cretatious horribly sexy beautiful irrestible thing. So then I was like you get out you sick Frenchmen. "Vete ya! y se fue. No sabia que hacer pero sabia que tenia que hacer algo. Entonces mate a mi mejor amigo, jose. que trite, pero no me importa. So GREAT CHAPTER VERDAD?

ANyways. I will keep studyin my french until i am fluent enough to please Pierre that cute Little old guy and then he will want me and we will get marred like in fairytales. right?

REBOOS!