Author's Note: haven't updated in a really long time, but I have a couple chapters that I didn't post. Here is one.

Casey laid on her bed. She had taken off her jacket and boots and put on her pajamas. She tried to distract herself from certain thoughts, but now that her breathing had calmed from running home, her mind was racing. She got up and moved around; she decided she needed to take a shower. She quickly took off her clothes and wrapped her towel around her. She walked into the bathroom locking the door behind her. She started to brush her teeth, and she turned on the shower. She spit and rinsed her toothbrush, then stepped into the shower. This is Casey trying to distract herself.

Paranoid and guilty were two words describing how she felt. The guilt was starting to boil up creating tension. The water was supposed to feel clean and soothing, but it didn't wipe the guilt and resentment she felt. She felt contempt for herself and unworthy of this shower. What penance is enough for her crimes? She broke the government's law by drinking as a minor.

More than that she broke an unwritten law in the codes of virtue, and worst of all with someone she had come to despise. His open rudeness, his blatant selfishness, his crude demeanor: his behaviors were the epitome of mannerisms that Casey fought against. She also despised his tactic of layering his kindness under horrible deeds. His egoistical ways shined for the world to see, but his generosity hid under many selfish layers of Derek.

Casey despised Derek's demeanor, so she was ashamed that she had kissed him. She was mortified that when they were outside together because she had wanted more. These thoughts like the tears she was crying streamed down her face and mixed with the steam. She couldn't think anymore.

She stepped out of the shower and dried herself off. Derek's door shut quietly outside of the bathroom. Her senses sharpened as she quickly moved out of the bathroom and back into her own room. She changed and lied down in her bed pulling the soft blankets over her. Her ears were quick to hear and her body stiffened; he was outside her door. He lightly knocked, but gently opened it anyway. He peaked in, but didn't look at her.

"Hey, sorry to disturb, but you forgot your blanket," He dared to enter the room and shut the door behind him. She blinked with disbelief.

"I won't tell anyone you drank. Casey, I won't tell anyone Anything. It's our secret," Derek looked at her with awareness. She blinked again and swallowed. Derek put the blanket down on her floor silently. She squinted her eyes a little interpreting his words, looking for a deeper meaning. He left abruptly, silently walking from the room.

She wasn't satisfied that their secret was safe, but she didn't dare to talk to him. She would be glad if she never saw him again. He only caused her disappointment and headaches, so on this night his touch should have been icy and boring. She should have felt nothing like when she picked up a spoon to eat her breakfast cereal, and it is not like she has never touched him. His touch was that overlooked spoon to her lips with milk and cheerios on the end. His touch this night was something different; it could have been the hormones, or it could have been the scenery. His kiss should have been poison, but it wasn't toxic. That didn't mean it wasn't lethal. Derek was disfigured with a 'Do Not Touch' sign tattooed on his forehead, and Casey normally followed the rules.

She closed her eyes, and she could barely think straight. Casey ended up blaming herself when she thought about their relationship. She had drank. That was her fault. She also had hormones provoked by alcohol. Again, they were her hormones; it was her fault. She hadn't pushed him away. It was her fault about talking openly with him. She started wishing that she had never moved here and that her mom had never met George. Then she never would have met Derek, but she realized it wasn't her parent's fault. It was her fault.

She had felt something for him in the beginning, but whom could she tell, and was it worth telling? She couldn't tell her mother that she felt something for her new brother, like she would want to ruin her mother's happiness; Derek wasn't just another crush, he was her brother. No member of her family would understand; how could they? She could barely tell herself because she didn't understand and wasn't allowed to understand, so she denied the feelings and hated the cause of her confusion. She kept her feelings and twisted them.

It was easy to hate him though; he made it easy. They slid into their little relationship perfectly: an easy explosion. She decided she hated Derek Venturi because he decided the same. He was her nemesis who caused her heartburn, who made her cry at the silliest things, who lived right down the hall.

So why was she outside his door with her hand on the doorknob? Casey couldn't do this. She didn't mean to open this door, and she didn't. She crept back to her room and got under the covers again.

*Morning*

Casey looked over at her clock in the morning: 10:31. Casey had slept in so late, but she had gotten in bed late too. Then she remembered why she had gotten in bed late and felt like she was going to vomit. Not just figuratively, she was not feeling well. She had a slight headache and her stomach churned; Derek causes all my problems. More than her stomach, she needed to pee! She got out of bed and quickly walked to the bathroom. As soon as the door was closed she pulled down her pants, releasing the tension. She sighed when she heard a knock at the door.

"I'm in here, be out in 2 secs," Casey was annoyed that her bathroom time was always interrupted: Derek.

"'Kay Casey, I thought you were sleeping at Emily's house…" Lizzie called from the other side of the door.

"Yeah, I was supposed to, but something came up, and I wasn't allowed," Casey blurted and then silently cursed Sheldon. If only she would have gone to Emily's house, everything would have been fine. She wouldn't have remembered her suppressed feelings; she wouldn't have broken the unspoken rules. Casey finished and washed her hands. Then she took two Tylenol and opened the door, "Here you go Liz."

"No I don't need it, I just wanted to see if it was you," Lizzie smiled innocently, and Casey tried not too look annoyed or worried.

"What was breakfast?"

"Fend for yourself. I made eggs for myself though. Uhm…" Lizzie looked at Casey like she wanted to tell her something.

"Eggs? Is there something wrong with the eggs?" Casey was too tired to see Lizzie's shyness.

"I have to ask you something," Lizzie spoke very softly.

Casey tensed up. Had Lizzie heard Derek and Casey come in last night? "Let's go downstairs so I can get some breakfast first, okay?" Casey tried to brush off Lizzie's question until they were out of the hallway and away from other people.

Lizzie nodded and followed Casey downstairs. Lizzie sat in a stool and Casey went over to the cabinets, "So shoot Liz, what's up?" Casey made sure her back was to Lizzie, so she couldn't see Casey's guilty face.

Lizzie gulped, "At school yesterday, well. Since Valentine's Day is on Sunday, people got love letters and stuff in school. Like candy grams and flowers."

"And, did you get one?" Casey prodded because she was relieved that Derek had not been mentioned in the sentence. She got out the milk and poured it on her cheerios.

"Yeah, but the person didn't sign it. He wrote something really sweet too," Lizzie blushed and smiled.

"Uhm, why haven't you showed me the note yet?" Casey exclaimed taking a seat next to Lizzie with her cereal. She was glad to not think about her problems for a time.

"You want me to show you?" Lizzie blushed again.

"Of course! This doesn't happen everyday, go and bring it here."

Lizzie smiled and hopped out of her chair excited. She sprinted up the stairs. "Morning Derek," Lizzie said at the top of the stairs. Derek descended the steps, Casey sat tense in her seat. Thankfully, Nora walked in the room as Derek came into the kitchen.

"Morning you two! Casey, not at Emily's?" Nora went to the cupboard and grabbed a glass and went to the sink for water.

"Something came up, and I wasn't allowed to stay at her house. Whatever," Casey pushed a spoonful of cereal in her mouth so she wouldn't have to talk. Derek walked over the refrigerator and gulped orange juice from the carton.

"Derek, did you have fun at the party, even though Casey went?" Nora smiled and took a sip of water.

Derek finished his gulp, "It was alright. Valentine's Day parties are lame though."

"Well, I hope you had a little fun. You know the actual Valentine's Day is tomorrow, right?" Nora smiled, "You guys doing anything special?"

Casey choked on her cereal, "WE aren't doing anything at all. Mom, why would you say that?"

"Oh, I just thought maybe one of you would have a date or something…"

Casey kicked herself; she was paranoid. Derek chuckled, "Yeah, like ANYone would want to take Space-Case out to dinner." Casey sighed with resentment and looked down at her cereal. She couldn't look at her mother because if she did, she might tell what happened last night under the stars.

"Well, Casey is a lovely lady, but if you aren't doing anything the family is going out to dinner. Nothing really fancy. Probably Chinese, but George offered as his Valentine's present to the people he loves. So if you guys aren't doing anything, which I thought you weren't. We are All going."

"I'll go if, there will be General Tso's chicken," Derek couldn't resist Chinese food. "Plus, Valentine's day is such a commercial holiday, really just a way for corporations to get people to spend money."

"Yeah, maybe, you're right, but it's settled. Chinese? Right Casey," Nora tried to make Casey smile, "Even if Valentine's Day is commercial, we can just go out as a loving family."

That's when Casey's heart broke with guilt she blurted out an approval and bolted from the room before the tears started to fall. She couldn't deal with this right now. She walked into her room and let out a few tears before she heard Lizzie at the door. She held back sobs, "Hey Liz, what's up?"

"I heard you downstairs, but I couldn't bring the note because well, Derek was there and stuff. I didn't want him reading, ya know? Hey are you alright?"

Casey composed herself, "Yeah, Liz, it's just I don't really have anyone on Valentine's Day. I am just a little upset." Casey tried to laugh off her lie. "I can still see your note right?"

Lizzie's smile brightened as she handed the note to Casey. She was very gentle with the note as if it were a sacred testament. Casey saw it was merely a little tab of paper the size of a pricetag found on an article of clothing. On the front read:

Elizabeth

It bewilders me, but whenever I find something new about you another root shoots out securing my Lizzie love tree.

Casey smiled. She looked at Lizzie with tears starting to glisten in her eyes. This was one of the sweetest notes she had ever read. She loved the alliteration and the sincerity. She was overwhelmed, and Lizzie saw it in her face.

"Do you want a hug?" Lizzie was concerned and not really sure what Casey was upset about.

Casey wiped the tears away from her eyes and pulled Lizzie into a hug. It was a short, awkward hug because Lizzie wasn't sure why they were hugging, but they were both happy. As they let go of the hug, Casey smiled, "This guys likes you for sure. I think that you should just wait it out a little. I mean he sent you a note, and he probably wants you to guess, but maybe if you don't search, he'll give you more clues. You know?"

"That sounds like a good idea because I really have no idea who this could be from. I mean it is typed up, and not signed. I'll wait a while," Lizzie smiled, "Are you sure there isn't anything you wanted to talk to me about. Loneliness sucks."

Casey tried to smile and lied, "It's really nothing. Stupid boy, Truman, at school. We just had an awkward experience that kind of made me feel weird."

"Don't let guys get you down. Plus, he's at school, you can focus on school work at school," Lizzie tried to comfort her sister.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. I have always been better at school than relationships. School work isn't complicated," Casey laughed.

"Well speak for yourself," Lizzie laughed back. "That reminds me, would you help me with a small project I have for science?"

"Of course," Casey and Lizzie stood up, "But I have to call Emily first. I'll be in there in like 5 minutes."

"Sure, I'll get stuff set up," Lizzie left the room and smiled.

Casey walked out behind her to find the phone. She went downstairs to ask her mom where the phone was, but she said she didn't know. Casey walked back up the stairs to Marti's room.

"Marti, do you have the phone?"

Marti smiled, "Well, I had to call my friends, but then Smerek asked if he could use it."

Just the person she didn't want to see. Casey dragged her body to Derek's door. Her stomach was churning and she felt her headache roaring back to life with his loud music play Secret Valentine by We The Kings. Casey normally didn't knock, but due to recent events, Casey was being more cautious. She knocked with a purpose.

"Come in if you are anyone but Casey."

Casey rolled her eyes, and slowly entered the room. She didn't walk in, but from the doorway she yelled over the music, "Do you have the phone?"

"You aren't allowed in here," Derek yelled back and didn't look at her.

"I am not in your room; I'm just looking for the phone," Casey yelled getting annoyed. Despite her guilt, it seemed like nothing had changed between her and Derek. She felt relieved.

Derek stood up with the phone in his hands and grudgingly walked to the door. She rolled her eyes at his laziness and held out her hand for the phone. Derek was just about to put it in her hands when he took it back, "Oh, I forgot to call Sam."

"De-rek, Are you kidding me?"

Derek turned around and sat on his bed. He started dialing a number, when Casey snapped and ran at Derek. Her frustration outweighed her feelings about the incident. She tackled Derek back onto the bed grabbing for the phone. She had a solid grip and tried to pull, but Derek also had a firm hand on it. He started to pull it back harder. Casey put her second hand on the phone and gave it a yank. Derek was much stronger and used his free hand to start tickling Casey. Casey started laughing and pulling at the same time.

"You aren't, ha ha ha, gonna win," Casey laughed and grunted at the same time.

They wrestled for the phone on the bed, and Derek pinned Casey down. With one hand up in the air pulling the phone and the other hand pulling Casey's shirt up to tickle her stomach more freely: to make her give up the phone. Casey realized what he was doing and started wiggling underneath him. Casey was wriggling too much and Derek's hand accidentally slipped. Derek's hand touched Casey's nipple because she didn't wear a bra to bed. Derek was mortified as he let go of the phone, but his hand was still on her breast. His breathing was quick as he gave her a small squeeze. Casey's eyes went wide with fear, anxiety and most of all anger. She kicked him off of her and he slammed to the ground. She got up off the bed and stomped on Derek's thigh out of the room and outraged.

She looked at the phone and realized she couldn't handle Emily right now. So stopping at Derek's doorway, she turned around and threw the phone at him, knocking him in head with it. For once she had good aim. With brief satisfaction she slammed Derek's door shut and walked to Lizzie's room. In the hall, she heard Derek's music change to the song Everything Evil by Coheed and Cambria. Casey quickened her pace and slammed Lizzie's door upon entering.

"Ugh, Men are such perverts."