This chapter is dedicated to the reviewer who made the longest review I've ever been reviewed. Thank you so much Ellie. I couldn't sleep without writing this chapter(what can I say? I'm obsessive and slightly neurotic), so thank her everyone and use her as an example.

Disclaimer: It's called fanfiction for a reason idiots that came up with disclaimers for fanfiction in the first place.

Sorry that this one is a little short... :(

"I was holding him in my arms and damn it Sammy, he was just like you."

Dean looked over to the tall emotionless figure with a completely blank, but interested-looking face and rolled his eyes. Yeah right, the kid was the complete opposite of this asshole.

"Like you used to be at that age, I mean."

They were sitting together in a booth at a random cafe with cracked tiled floors and worn padded seats of faded orange. Dean didn't bring Sam here for the food or coffee here so much as a neutral place to sit down and talk where he could focus on the conversation more than the road in front of him.

"Are you allowed back up to see him again?" Sam asked.

"It doesn't matter what I'm allowed to do. I'm going back, and I don't know if it's safe up there with Cas. Sure, he has good intentions, but he's not exactly father material."

"Like you are?" Sam asked, raising an amused eyebrow.

Dean fell silent at that statement and thought about Ben, about how he'd almost turned into his own father when he found out the kid was in danger, ordering him around to stay inside, that it wasn't safe elsewhere. He remembered what a jerk he'd been, yelling at him for touching his stuff and reacting out of hand when Ben mentioned trying to learn to hunt. He remembered putting Ben and Lisa in danger when he was turned into a vampire, wanting to drain Lisa and Ben's blood dry.

He flinched. No, he wasn't any better of a father than Cas. In fact, he might even be worse than Cas, but spending a life secluded in Heaven without friends or any time on the real world wasn't good for the kid. He must be pretty damn lonely in fact. He didn't want this version of Sammy to grow up with a blank emotionless face putting all his faith in a God that just didn't give a crap. He wanted this Sammy to have a life, a real life.

"Maybe I could leave him with Lisa…" he said distractedly, as if talking to himself more than Sam.

Hell, that's basically what he was doing anyway. It wasn't like the soulless lump actually gave a crap. Dean just needed to talk to someone. He was pulled out of his thoughts by a snort of laughter. That was one thing that was also different from the Sam with a soul. When the Sam he knew laughed, it was light, cheery, and practically brightened the day. This one, when he laughed, it was dark, sharp, humorless, or sinister, like a demon's laughter.

"Oh, so you won't talk to her, but you'll dump a random child on her doorstep and expect her to raise it? That's hilarious," the man said.

Dean glared at Sam, but he was right. He had no right to ask her such a favor. Hell, Dean didn't even know if he could get up the nerve to call her. Most likely, he'd end up leaving the kid Sammy on her doorstep holding a note like Harry fucking Potter, saying 'Please raise this child for me and don't abuse it – Dean.' Yeah, like that worked so well for the scar-head in the movies (unlike Sam, he didn't bother reading the books). Not to mention, her feelings for Sam weren't exactly warm and fuzzy, so how would she react to the kid version dumped on her doorstep? Still though, Lisa had a pretty big heart. Hell, she'd been willing to let Dean hunt and stay with him for a while until the vampire incident. There might be a chance she'd take little Sammy in.

He still had to deal with Cas though, even if he went that route. How the hell was he supposed to go about prying a kid away from the arms of a clingy Angel in Heaven? Dean was pretty sure Cas wouldn't let him go without a fight, if at all. Judging by the threatening looks he gave Dean for even talking to Sam, he'd probably rip him to shreds if Dean stole the kid away.

But he'd have to find a way to do it. He felt sorry for Cas and hated to take away that warm feeling in his eyes whenever he looked at the kid. Dean knew Cas deserved some happiness and it wasn't Dean's place to say Cas wasn't as much or even more of a father then their dad had ever been. Yeah, he knew that, but even so, a life spent trapped by one Angel and an abstract web of memories around him wasn't a life, and even if this Sam wasn't his Sam, the kid deserved the happiest and healthiest life he could get.

"I'll have to get him away from Cas and hide right after. Right now, we should focus on getting your soul back."

Sam shook his head. "No."

"What do you mean no?"

Sam laughed. "You heard what they said. You stick that thing back in and it's curtains for me. It's rare when a demon and an angel agree on something, but when they do, you tend to listen to them."

"We'll find a way to make it safe."

Sam stood. "I'm not risking it, sorry Dean. It's not a good idea and you know it. And you know, the only reason I wanted to stay around you is because I thought getting my soul back was a good idea. Now I realize I was wrong."

"You can't just go off on your own without me Sam! Not with your soul gone, and we have to get it back. You can't go on without it. It just-"

"I was fine for a year before I joined up with you and I'll be fine without you."

And then he left Dean even as he yelled protests and insults, not giving a crap. Dean felt anger rise and at the same time almost heard the breaking of his heart. Sam's coldness, his emptiness, his uncaring, it was breaking him down to desperation and his brother couldn't care less.

Little Sam stared at the image of Dean before him, Dean, his Dean, his big and now much older brother. He smiled as he watched him.

"I'm Dean Winchester, your brother."

Sam ran into Dean's arms and felt them around his body, warm, solid, safe.

"Where were you? I missed you so much!" he told his brother, rubbing the side of his cheek against Dean's chest.

He couldn't get enough of this feeling, of Dean, his big brother, here. He was with him right now, him, not the other Sam. Not the adult, but him. He was holding him, stroking his back to soothe his little brother. It was like the other Sam didn't even exist, like he was the only Sam that did exist, the only Sam that mattered.

"Shh, I'm here now Sammy."

Even that damn annoying nickname was so good to hear. He hadn't heard it in forever. He laughed delightedly, holding Dean even tighter. He liked the sound of his older voice. It was deep, rough, but with a soft edge to it. He loved it. He loved everything about his older brother.

"I had no idea you were here Sam. If I'd have known…I would have come to see you before. Oh Sammy, I'm sorry."

"Don't want you to leave, not ever," Sam breathed and it was true, even now. He wanted Dean to stay with him now and for good.

"I'm sorry kiddo, but I do have to go back to Earth, probably soon. I'll be back though, I promise."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that Dean," a voice interrupted.

Sam looked up to see his Dad, his angel father standing there. This time, he noticed how angry he looked. Why was he so mad? Dean didn't do anything wrong. He should be happy his brother was back! He should be as happy as Sam was.

"Why not?" he asked his father.

The angel turned to Sam and offered an apologetic smile. "Dean is very busy. He's a hunter now and has a lot of things to do. It's dangerous and it's not safe for you."

"They could wait! He should be with me now."

"Sammy," Dean said as he backed away and put his hands on Sam's shoulders. "I do have to go, but I will be back, no matter what your Dad says."

With that his brother turned and glared at his father. Why were they giving each other mad looks? Was Sam the only person to get that this was a happy thing? Did he have to clue his family in to this obvious fact? Really, adults could be so weird.

Dean ruffled his hair.

"You don't need to worry Sammy."

"Samuel," a voice interrupted. This one was louder than the others, clear, sharp.

Sam looked up to see his real angel Father standing next to his memory father sending a glare his way. He looked over at the frozen images of himself and Dean before looking back over to Sam.

"I thought I blocked the memories of Dean away a while ago. They shouldn't have been reopened."

"That was the old Dean. This is the new him. It's different."

Castiel waved his hand and the memory of Dean and he faded. Sam looked heartbroken, but Cas just gave him a sad smile.

"Why did you do that?" Sam shrieked.

"You can't live in the past Samuel. It's unhealthy. You really need to move on. How many times have you played this?"

Sam shrugged. He'd lost count really, ever since his father had left the room. He'd played the memories of his brother constantly in a loop over and over. He couldn't get enough of seeing his brother, alive and real and whole, standing before him. Why was it such a bad thing?

"You need to stop. I've blocked off this memory as well now."

"Then you need to let me see him!" Sam cried out.

"I'll lock away those memories too."

"Just let me see him again Dad! He's my BROTHER. I HAVE to see him!"

Cas sighed. He hated seeing his son so broken up like this, but letting his interactions with Dean continue would only bring more pain to everyone in the long run. For instance, just now Samuel had only seen Dean once and already he had that broken, empty look on his face that had been absent for months. He'd been playing memories with the adult version of Dean over and over obsessively no doubt. He was torturing himself.

He considered taking the memory of the even from Sam's mind altogether, but he didn't want to risk touching Sam's mind in such a way, even if it was only to take away the memories. He knew so little about this situation, about Sam's soul and how it would react to outside contact. He had no idea what would happen. It could be extremely fragile and shatter into a thousand pieces or it could be so absorbent it soaked up or copied some of Castiel's angelic energies.

Either consequence wasn't something Castiel was prepared to risk, so touching his child's memories was not something he would do.

Instead, he touched Sam's hair and ran his fingers through it in a soothing motion.

"I know you can't understand right now, but this is for the best. This contact with Dean is hurting you more than it hurts."

"YOU HAVE TO LET ME SEE HIM! PLEASE!"

Samuel was crying again, begging with his pleading puppy-like hazel eyes that could melt the hardest of hearts. Castiel was nearly brought to tears himself and he reached forward to pull Sam into an embrace and comfort him further, to make it better. He wanted his child to stop crying. He didn't ever want Sam to be sad or hurt. He wanted him to be happy always, his sweet child.

But Sam just pushed at him, shoved him away and ran out the door to his room and out into the hills and fields that he, John, and Dean had once went camping when they were too far away from a hotel. John had prepared in advance and bought a cheap tent and some canned food to make the night something his boys would enjoy.

Castiel remembered when he and Sam had gone camping themselves there. His son had been so happy, hugging his teddy-bear and looking at Cas with adoring eyes. Excitedly, the two had swapped stories and roasted marshmallows over a fire, a concept Castiel hadn't understood, but Sam had found enjoyable and after trying it, he agreed though whether it was the experience himself or just doing it with Samuel that made it pleasant he didn't know.

He looked over at the teddy which now lay abandoned at the side of his bed and felt a pang of jealousy towards the lot, Dean and John. Castiel had given Sam much better camping trips. He'd gotten better equipment and made it much more fun. His attention was solely on Sam, not the next thing he wanted to kill.

Dean had a brother, a real one. This Sam needed special attention, attention Dean just couldn't give. Just because the real Sam was in hell didn't mean the older Winchester had any right to take his son away from him. Why had he told Sam who he was? Didn't he know it would only hurt his Samuel? No, he was too ignorant, too self-centered to care. He just wanted the attention no doubt. He just opened his mouth and let the words fly.

He didn't like being angry at his only feeling human friend, but he deserved the anger and much more for hurting his Samuel like this.

He didn't bother to think that Sam would be hurt and that Castiel would have to pick up the pieces.

When he finally found his child sobbing under a tent, curled up into a little ball, he got on his knees next to him and pulled his son into his arms. This time, Sam gave in and took all the comfort Castiel had to offer. He cried into his shirt, probably knowing that right now, Dean was worried about the real Sam, that even though his Samuel would give anything to be Dean's Sam, it would never happen.

Because he wasn't truly real to anyone but Castiel, who loved his son for everything he was and everything he wasn't. Castiel was the only person in Sam's life who preferred him over the Sam strutting about soulless or the soul of him burning in hell because that Sam wasn't his son. This boy was. This boy was the one he gave his heart to wholly and fully, the one he'd shared the best memories of his very long angelic life with, the one he'd give up his angel-hood for, the one he'd die for, his son.

Reviews make me happy and make me update. I'll need the encouragement since I'm a little lost on what to write next right now. I mean, I know where to go, just have trouble putting it down atm...