This is Emby, logging in! I return with another helping of…. The Show: Fruits Basket of Doom!
Anyways. Everything's good, yes, yes. My first two reviews! I'm so happy.
Especial thanks to-
Kluv19- My very first reviewer! She said it was funny, too. Yay!
Warning: Warning.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own a Fruits Basket. I do not own a Rice Ball. I do own a towel, some carrots, and a picture of a figment of my imagination (a chainsaw).
Let's get this party started!
Me: And let's return to…… The Show: Fruits Basket (of Doom)! Today, I think Tohru and Rin are gonna show up… But maybe the chainsaw business scared them….
Kyo: Didn't scare me. I'm not a scaredy-rat.
Me: Who asked you? Let's see…. No one!
Yuki: But you are a scaredy-cat. Are you implying something?
Kyo: I'm implying that your brain's a pile of poop, you damn rat!
Yuki: At least my brain doesn't mold.
Me: THAT'S ENOUGH! I WILL USE THE CHAINSAW!
Yuki/Kyo: ……..
Me: -smiles pleasantly- Anywho. Um, I think Akito's sick today, so we won't be seeing the he-she, or she-he, whichever you prefer.
Akito: I. AM. MALE. Why the hell do you think it says, "Akito, GOD! of the Zodiac and Kyo"! BECAUSE I'M MALE, YOU STUPID B-
Me: Now, this is rated T, Akito. Go eat butt.
Akito: Butt?
Me: I take that back. Poop.
Akito: Yuki's brain?
Me: Grr. Go eat grass!
Akito: -mufflechomp-
Rin: Okay. Now I can come out.
Momoji: You were hiding behind a microwave ALL ALONG? I would've never guessed!
Me: …Momoji? Where'd you appear from?
Momoji: The lamptable. I was eating Whoppers. The ones I stole from candy box!
A/N: I don't own Whoppers, either.
Me: Is there such a thing as a lamptable? Whoppers! Hand 'em over!
Momoji: I ate them all. Nyah!
Me: -Purple and pink mutant bunnies spring up everywhere- Nyah that!
Momoji: -stunned silence-
Me: That'll teach him to mess with my Whoppers.
Rin: I saw him with some Hershey bars, too.
Me: -gaspeh-
Momoji: -poofs away into nothingness-
Haru: Rin!
Rin: Stay away from me!
Haru: -sniffle- We're in love!
Me: But Haru chopped off your hair, Rin. Or at least he was the reason it got chopped.
Akito: No, that was because I love Rin.
Me: -stunned silence-
Akito: JUST KIDDING YA!
Yuki: Aren't you supposed to be eating grass?
Kyo: Yeah. Go eat grass, God!
Akito: Don't take that tone of voice with me, young man! –slaps-
Kyo: You aren't my mother!
Kazuma: No, I am.
Kyo: -gaspeh- Kazuma! You're a guy! And my mother eloped to America with a clown!
Kazuma: No, I married your mother. And then I got pregnant.
Me: Wait a tick…
Kazuma: Yes, it's true. Your father is a figment of my imagination. Your mother is a woman. And I'm a guy. And…. I love you, Kyo!
Me: Who do you think you are, Kyo on a stick!
Kyo: -stunned silence- -angry face- YOU LIED TO ME, YOU BASTARD!
Me: Get out of that Kazuma cosplay costume, Shigure.
Kyo: He said he loved me! DAMN YOU, SHIGURE!
Shigure: Heh heh… Um… I gotta go… Yeah, terrible deadline…..
Me: Ayame! Get out of that Shigure that was in a Kazuma cosplay costume cosplay costume!
Ayame: So you saw straight through me!
Me: You're actually Ayame, right?
Ayame: Yes! And I'm not supposed to be in this chapter! Good bye, my screaming fans! –poof-
Rin: Damn.
Haru: Rin, I still love you, no matter what happens. I… I…
Rin: Give it up, you stupid cow. I don't love you. You're ugly, and you're a cannibal. I know what was in that burger. Horse. And some cow meat.
Haru: It's a lie! –eats burger-
Me: Cannibal… Hey, Rin. I got something that'll make you happy…..
Rin: What? You're gonna poof Haru? You better, damnit!
Me: -Heheh- -dangles carrot tied to stick-
Rin: -eyes go wide- CARROTS! –leaps up and down-
Haru: Wow. You don't know how long I've wanted to see that.
Me: Haru, you're ugly.
Haru: WHO DO YOU THINK YOU'RE CALLING UGLY? I MEAN, LOOK AT YOURSELF! YOU'RE A COW!
Me: No, that's you.
Haru: YOU WANNA FIGHT? HUH? YOU WANNA TAKE THIS OUTSIDE? HOW DARE YOU INSULT ME! I WILL KILL THIS FICTION, I WILL KILL YOU! MUAHAHAHA! JUST WATCH ME! YOU'LL REGRET THE TIME YOU CROSSED HARU! I'M GONNA TAKE YOU DOWN!
Me: -vroom-
Haru: ….. I'll be good……
Wow. Tohru's taking her time.
Thank joo, my loverly reviewers! Thank joo so much!
Number 3 shall come out soon. I know it was a quick update, but…. XD I was bored.
Seeya tomorrow… In another episode!
-Poof-