Chapter 3 –
Guilt in Nothingness
My back straightens and I lay prostrate on the ground and close my eyes. It's cold, and hard, but it's nothing too painful. If anything, it was reassuring. Somethingexists other than me in Nothingness. It is proof enough that I wasn't truly alone. 'Would Hell be any better?' Sluggishly, I think. I even walk on the thin lines to wonderwhat Heaven was like. 'Maybe Dad's there. Maybe instead of opaqueness like Nothingness, all they have is white-light.' Covering my face, and laughing miserably, I manage to whisper out, "Ryuk, you bastard." That shinigami stole away all chance of me entering either Heaven or Hell the day he dropped the Death Note right into my School Courtyard.
Encountering the Notebook for the first time, It wasn't as if I was going to leave it alone. It fell from nowhere, and I believed that something as dark, and suspicious as that couldn't possibly be some cheap prank. Even if it was one though, writing a simple name in it wouldn't have affected anybody. It would only leave the same bitter taste in my mouth and remind me that the world was a rotten, filthy, and unjustified place. But when I wrote that measly, worthless criminal's name in the Death Note for the first time, I managed to save numerous hostages in a bank hijacking. I helped people; so who said I couldn't go as far as controlling them? I found solace in that thought, and finalized it officially when I met Ryuk. I would become Kira, and I would become Justice! I saved lives, so how is Nothingness justified? How is death justified?
I exhale deeply.
My mind drifts off once again and I think about an English saying. It went along of something with the lines as 'You never know what you have, until it is gone.' I found it quite idiotic at the time I learned it in elementary school, but now, it actually turned out to be quite ironic. 'Or was it sarcasm?' A bit baffled, I wonder. I dribble between the two: Telling sarcasm and irony apart was usually difficult to distinguish. Soon realizing though, all of it was pointless. Everything in the Living World was beyond my grasp. I turn around on my back and raise my hand, reaching towards nothing. I'm on a ground that stretches out endlessly. I'm in Nothingness. My jaw clenches, and my fists form tight balls as my death re-runs clearly through my mind. The sharp pain of bullets getting pierced through me, One by one, protruding my body unnaturally, sending a shock each time. Dark crimson quickly staining my shirt and covering me. Matsuda, that idiot, honestly shot me. Everyone. They were suspicious. Immediately, a name pops into my head.
Near.
That white haired L-look alike made all of the SPK suspicious of me. They all cornered me. My nails dig into my palms, and my teeth grind against each other lividly. The challenge simply wasn't the same without L, or so I thought. It wasn't until the end, the very last final breath I took; that I noticed Near had some equivalence against me. Seething, I hiss out,"Near, I ever were to meet you, EVER… let me murder you a million times over. With my bare hands, let me write your name." My mind wanders. 'What sort of death does he deserve?'
Near – Heart Attack
'No, too simple.'
Near – Stroke in the middle of the day.
'That's amateur.'
Near – Suicide by drowning.
'Didn't I try that out with Naomi?'
Near – Gets shot in a…
'No. That's Misa-Misa's Style.'
Near – Bone cancer….
I enjoy the last death. A slow death. Let him fear for his demise. Let him think that Kira caused it.
I shiver from the excitement, as I think of more deaths.
More
My breathing rate increases, and my heart pounds heavily in my chest.
Sweat droplets run down my face, and finally, I let out a sigh. Mu body collapses and white envelopes my vision.
My mind slows down. A feeling. A strange, uncomfortable feeling weighed my chest. 'I wonder what it is?; Slowly getting up again, I begin to walk in a constant, measured pace. 'One step, Two step, Three…' I count languidly, just in English for slight entertainment. My shoulders sag lowly when I remember that I was dead. 'I'm no shinigami, I don't have a Death Note anymore.' My eyes are shut closed, but not from fear though. It's not as if I had any worry bumping into anything. It was only the habit of keeping my eyes open and navigating myself in light. Naturally, I feel around, still quite convinced that it was possible for me to bump into something.
It's not as if…
I do bump into something.
Actually, I step on something.
It was cushion-like, almost.
Two voices merge into one, and they both shriek, "Oww!"
The first voice belonging to me because as I walked, the cushion thing surprised me, and the instinctive action was to pull away. Falling backward, once again, I bumped into something solid, and sturdy. Both of these, made me topple over and fall onto my back.
The other voice…the other voice I wasn't too sure of. Wasn't this Mu? Aren't I supposed to be by myself?
Light begins to engulf me, a bright white color. Blinding my vision, I cover my eyes. A dark silhouette, now standing in the light, is the only thing I see. I scuttle backwards, the silhouette wasn't standing. He was…leaning over, hunched awkwardly.
"Oh, hi, Yagami-San."
+++a
Guess who just appeared?
;3
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