It 'tis I!

The one no one loves!

Oh well. That's okay.

Emby really doesn't care!

Anyways. I'm back, bringing more chainsaws, more threats, and more random stupidness to your life. Welcome! Have a nice day. Goodnight.

DISCLAIMER: Blah blah blah, Fruits Basket, blah blah blah, chainsaw.

Akito: Welcome to The Show: Fruits Basket (Of Doom)! Now starring…. ME!

Me: What the froggies….? THIS IS MY FAN FICTION!

Kyo: Yeah, damnit. Mine.

Me: Kyo, shut up. Akito! I don't want to make you eat grass again, considering that you're doing nothing in this chapter! I just don't want to have a fat bloke/chick on my hands! That would suck grass…..

Yuki: That makes no sense.

Me: Just the point.

Yuki: You confuse me.

Me: I have no point! I'm round!

Everyone: ….

Me: Anyways. Akito, I sentence you to….. Um…. Drink eight gallons of Dr. Pepper!

Akito: NO! NOT DR. PEPPER!

Me: For everyone knows that Dr. Pepper is one of the worst drinks in existence, aside from the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, which is like having your brains beat out with a lemon wrapped around a gold brick!

A/N: I don't own the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster. Hitchhiker's Guide does. Muaha!

Yuki: Sounds painful.

Me: Bet your brain it is

Kyo: Where is Tohru? God damnit, you keep saying she's gonna appear, and then nothing happens! Damn you!

Yuki: Yes. Where is Miss Honda?

Hiro: She could be up your butt for all I care.

Yuki/Kyo: -gaspeh!-

Me: The microwave thingy is getting old.

Hiro: That's a T.V., dumbass.

Me: Luckily, my chainsaw pulled an Achille's tendon, or you'd be drawn and quartered right about now, and hung up for everyone to see.

Hiro: Was that a threat? Child harassment!

Me: Muaha. It ain't child harassment if I'm only a year older than you.

Hiro: … Well, I can still sue you.

Me: You must not read the earlier chapters. It clearly states that I am legally protected from all suing.

Hiro: This isn't over.

Me: Nope. Still got a few pages to type.

Kyo: Why did this happen to me? Stuck with everyone I hate… I have an evil-

Me: -gaspeh- PLOT REVEAL! PLOT REVEAL! EVIL KYO! SHUT UP!

Yuki: Yes, stupid cat. You could ruin the wonderful experience of everyone reading Fruits Basket and watching handsome me reveling in glory before screaming fans, signing babies, and stuff like that. I'm so much better than you. You have to admit it.

Me: Um… Um… Cheese poofs!

Kyo: YOU ARE NOT BETTER THAN ME! I beat you at cooking! Tohru loves me more than she loves you! I make her leek soup and you do what? Help her with homework? Who would want to do that? See! I can cook! You burn everything you look at! I mean, look at the author!

Me: It…. It…. IT BURNS US!

Kyo: See?

Me: Oh. I was looking at my little brother's perm.

Yuki: Ha. Ha.

Shigure: He got… a perm! HAHAHAHAHA!

Me: Exactly what I think. –giant grin- I laughed so hard. Ever see a guy in curlers? It's even better than watching a person clean their feet.

Everyone: ….

Me: Heh heh heh. Forget I said anything, alright? I mean, I've… Well…

Shigure: SHE'S FLUSTERED! HAHAHAHAHA!

Me: Shutup, or you'll be kissing Aya!

Ayame: I wouldn't mind so much…. Would you, Gure-nii? It would be an exact replica of the lovely make-out session we had last night!

Shigure: Now, now, Aya, we're talking in front of virgins. Don't want to ruin the experience….

Me/Kyo/Yuki: -pure horror-

Me: Well…. SPRINKLES AND CHEESE!

Kyo: What the hell?... That's the third freakin' time today!

Me: Well, that ends-

-BUZZ-

-MEOW-

Lovely ending, aye?

Anyways. Time for me to go to sleep.

I also know that's the third time today I've updated, and I said this update would be posted tomorrow.

I got bored!

Thanks to-

Invaderfromearth

SakuraRibbons

Kluv19

THEY REVIEWED! D D

♥♥♥- Emby!