For all those Kyo fans…….
THIS IS ONE OF HIS SPECIAL CHAPTERS! WOOT!
Cheers to you, my reviewers!
And chopsticks to Darkeh, who is my inspirations!
Disclaimer: …..Chainsaws?
This is Emby! In all her randomness, bringing you another episode of… THE SHOW! As popular as Star Wars!
Me: Hi Kyo.
Kyo: What the froggies? YOU'RE BEING NICE TO ME! DAMNIT, HAVE YOU HAD TOO MANY POPPYSEED MUFFINS!
Me: Nope. Just putting up a façade of niceleyness.
Kyo: God damnit, is that even a word!
Me: Nope. –shakes food bowl-
Kyo: Meow mix!
Me: Meow meow!
Kyo: I want my Meow Mix! –jumps-
Me: Be a good kitty and I'll give it to you at the end of the show.
Kyo: Okay.
Me: Sign here, here, and here….
Kagura: NO, KYO, MY LOVE! DON'T SIGN! You're selling your soul!
Me: Shut up. Anyways…. –hands pen-
Kagura: Kyo! I love you! I have Brand Name Kibbles!
Kyo: I want my Meow Mix! –signs-
Kagura: NOOOO!
Me: If you'll read in extra extra fine print, it says you have to do whatever I say doubly now, not only because I'm the author, but because you signed a contract to get Meow Mix!
Kyo: …. What?
Me: -heh heh heh- Eat leeks!
Kagura: No! I will eat them! In his place, please!
Kyo: -being drawn towards the leeks-
Me: Shut up, Kagura. –rips up contracts-
Kyo: -stands still- WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING! I WANT MY MEOW MIX!
Me: Here ya go.
Kyo –chomp-
Me: It's now the end of the episode!
Kisa: I'm confused.
Me: Just kidding. KISA! –huggles- YOU'RE SO CUTE!
Kisa: Get off of me! –pushes with inhuman strength-
Me: But… Kisa… You're a figment of my imagination!
Kisa: I hate you! You shaved Hiro's head!
Me: Because he was being an annoying dwarf. He's lucky I didn't chop off his head.
Kisa: STUPID AUTHOR! –pushes off cliff-
Me: Ahhh!
Akito: HAHAHAHAHA! NOW I AM Akito, GOD! of the Zodiac and Kyo and Emby and this fanfiction! MUAHAHAHA! My first order….. Kyo, gimme that Meow Mix.
-throws kibble off cliff-
Kyo: NOOOO! WHO DIED AND MADE YOU GOD ANYWAYS, DAMNIT!
Akito: The author. –chews on carrot-
Rin: Must… have… CARROTS!
Akito: -chews on Rin-
Yuki: -shudder-
Akito: For Yuki, I have punishment! Um…. Hmm….. Hatori, what's suitable punishment?
Hatori: Punishment for what?
Akito: Being alive, and sucking up to the author. Wait, Kyo did that too…. Punishment for both of them!
Hatori: ….Why don't you just pretend you punished them and have them whimper and cower in a corner?
Akito: GOOD IDEA! GO WHIMPER AND COWER, MINIONS!
Kyo/Yuki: -muttergrumble- -whimper/cower-
Me: I HAST RETURNED FROM THY OWN DEATH! CEASE SEIGE ON MY FICTION, OR THOU SHALT FACE THY WRATH OF SO-SAID CHAINSAW!
Akito: What did she say?
Hatori: She threatened you with a chainsaw.
Akito: NEVER! How'd you return from Kisa pushing you off a cliff, anyways?
Me: -pats Edward Elric's head- You can go back to your place, now, Ed, at the bottom of the cliff. Tell Alphonese I say hi and thanks.
Akito: WHO THE HELL IS THE RUNT!
Ed: RUNT? WHO ARE YOU CALLING RUNT? YOU CALL ME A DWARF, A LITTLE PERSON! DAMN YOU! I'LL KILL YOU! –beats up Akito-
Me: Uh, Ed, if you don't stop, he's gonna die.
Ed: Oh. Sorry. Seeya later!
Me: Bye! –thumbs up-
Akito: -near death-
Me: Haha! I wanted to see that happen sooo much! –uses magical healing powers on Akito-
Akito: Who the hell was that!
Me: Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist from his book, Fullmetal Alchemist.
Yuki/Kyo: -still whimpering/cowering-
Kisa: Why was he here? And why did you survive that fall, damnit!
Me: Kisa! –gaspeh- Language!
Kisa: …
Me: Anyways. I survived because I'm the author, and I can float while using the Force. Pretty magical, aye? I think so. Muaha. And Ed was here because he lives at the bottom of the cliff with Alphonese, his brother, and I wanted to see Akito get beat up by Ed because Ed is a wicked awehsome alchemist, even though he has never graced the pages of Fruits Basket.
Hatori: Did anyone just understand a word she said? No? Who wants to make sure she actually dies this time?
Kisa: -raises hand-
Me: -pushes off cliff- Bye Kisa!
Hatori: -poop- -Sorry, meant poof-
Me: Stop whimpering, you two.
Kyo/Yuki: -cowering-
Me: And cowering!
Kyo: Damnit, that was embarrassing.
Yuki: You think it was embarrassing? ALL MY FANS JUST SAW THAT! All those lovely fan girls! AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!
Me: My fault? What did I do?
Yuki: You didn't even fall off a cliff! You hid behind that china bowl!
Me: But… Ed is wicked awehsome!
Yuki: I'll ignore that. Anyways, I SHOULD BE GOD BY EQUAL HERITAGE!
Akito: That makes no sense! Ooh…. Fire hose!
Me: See? A WOMAN, I TELL YOU! A WOMAN!
Everyone: …..
Kyo: Meow meow meow meow! Meow meow meow meow! Meow meow meow meow Meow meow meow meow! WHAT THE HELL! THAT'S THE MEOWMIX THEME!
Me: I made you sing it.
Kyo: Meow Mix Meow Mix please deliver! I'm HUNGRY!
Me: -hands bowl of Meow Mix that supposedly flew off cliff like a frisby-
Kyo: I'm not happy without my Meow Mix!
Woo. Weird chapter.
And no one knows- or cares!- where Tohru is. MUAHAHAHA
Quickie update, huh? Oh well.
I don't own Meow Mix. I have kibble for my kitties. BRAND NAME kibble, for that matter.
♥♥♥- Emby!
P.S. I've never tried kitty or dog food. Have you?