It is I, Emby! TEH ONE WHO RULES JOO ALL!
Well, no, not really. That's Akito.
SPEAKING OF AKITO!
Much ♥♥♥ and lemon frosting to AKITO. At the Disco.
She made up the term, "Oh Meh Akito." Heck yeah. Chainsaw plushies to her. Her stories kick butt, too. READ THEM…. Woah, that was a hidden ad.
KEEP THE REVIEWS COMING! YAYS!
Ad: Bringing randomness, stupidity, and hilarity to a computer near you: The Show: Fruits Basket of Doom! Read it today!
Me: Yuki Sohma.
Yuki: What?
Me: Nothing. A loverly reviewer thought you were Jesus Christ.
Kyo: I can't believe you said Yuki's name, damnit!
Me: HAHA! You said Yuki's name!
Kyo: So did you, damnit!
Me: DIRTY MOUTH!
Kyo: I DO NOT HAVE A DIRTY MOUTH, DAMNIT! HELL YEAH!
Me: That's two curses in one line. Anywho. Peas or carrots, Akito?
Akito: Fire…. Fire…. Um…. What else ends in fire?
Me: I ain't telling. Whenever you say something like, "Fire hydrant", you go poof!
Akito: Haha! FIRE HYDRANT! –poof!-
Me: -sigh- Oh well. Kyo: Peas or carrots?
Yuki: Leeks.
Me: WHO ASKED YOU? Nooooo one. So shut up before I poof you. Kyo, answer the question.
Kyo: Cheese. Cheese Fondue. Fried Cheese.
Me: My head huurttts……. MAKE UP YOUR MIND!
Kyo: Swiss cheese! No, holy cheese! DAMN, TOO MANY CHEESE ITS!
Me: You like Cheese Its?
Kyo: No.
Yuki: Leeks, leeks, the magical fruit!
Me: Leeks ain't a fruit. And ain't isn't a word. Muaha. Anywho. Who doesn't like soccer?
Yuki: I'm really good at it. I kick all the other boy's as-
Me: I don't. It's futbol! To me.
Yuki: You're an idiot.
Me: But volleyball kicks butt. Yeah! Go volleyball!
Kyo: -silence-
Me: Anyways. I did say I'd reincarnate Hatori…. Get Kana over here. This is gonna be freakin' hilarious.
Kana: HAND OVER HATORI, BIT-
Me: -waves hands magically- Hi Hatori.
Hatori: You're being suspiciously nice. Anyways, I never died. I was hiding behind tha-
Kyo: DAMN, THE MICROWAVE IS REALLY OLD!
Hatori: No. I was hiding behind that pile of cookies.
Me: They…. The cookies…. THEY BETRAYED ME! –chops up cookies with chainsaw-
Cookies: -poof!-
Kana: HATORI!
Hatori: Uh oh. Um…. Author person? Will you poof me?
Me: Grovel!
Hatori: -grovels-
Me: Teh Evi1 Author! Nope, too bad, Hatori. I won't poof you.
Hatori: You said you would!
Me: I never signed a contract. –Muaha!-
Kana: HATORI! YOU ERASED MY MEMORY, DAMNIT! YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME, BUT YOU WERE MAKING OUT WITH THAT DAMN AKITO BEHIND MY BACK! ALL THE ARGUMENTS WE HAD!
Hatori: Sweetheart- Please-
Kana: DON'T YOU SWEETHEART ME, DAMNIT! I'M GONNA POKE YOUR OTHER EYE OUT, AND FINISH WHAT WE STARTED! –grabs stick-
Me: Where'd the stick come from? Hand it over! –grabs stick- Ooh….. Stick… -pokes-
Kana: Gimme!
Me: It's mine! All mine! Back away, sista! The stick is mine!
Kana: No! I found it first!
Me: Hmmph. Prove it! REVENGE TIME!
Kana: I'm a little teapot short and stout! WHAT THE HELL!
Kyo: She's right. This is freakin' hilarious.
Yuki: Yup. Considering that Kana's about to beat the life out of the author.
Kyo: Like I said. Damn hilarious.
Me: -kicks Kana-
Kana: -poof!-
Me: My stick. –heh heh heh- Hatori, you can die again. The plot doesn't need you.
Hatori: This story has no plot.
Me: Yup.
Hatori: That makes no sense. You don't have a point!
Me: Like I said in an earlier chapter. I'm round!
Hatori: -silence-
Me: DON'T YOU READ EARLIER CHAPTERS? AKITO! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!
Hatori: -poof!-
Me: Do you think Haru still has the Mad Cow Disease?
Momoji: -limps in- Yes, he most defiantly does. He broke both my legs.
Yuki: EGAD! HE TOUCHED YOU! YOU'RE INFECTED!
Me: Hahaha! You used 'Egad!'
Kyo: Does that make it Crazy Bunny Disease?
Me: Nope. He had that before Haru touched him.
Kyo: Scary….
Me: Why do I get the feeling Kyo's the only one who likes me in this fan fiction?
Yuki: Because you're an unfeeling monster just like him?
Me: Hmm. Maybe so.
Kyo: I AIN'T NO MONSTER!
Me: Ain't ain't a word and I ain't gonna use it! Ain't!
Momoji: T-i-e-double l-grr! The wonderful thing about Tigg-
Me: Can't say that name. The person who made up that story would have me stuffed and hanging on a wall because of copyright.
Kyo: I see. So he is infected.
Me: Yup.
Momoji: YAY! –pokes stick-
Me: -drops- HE POKED IT! OH MEH AKITO! –sob- MY POOR STICK!
Everyone: -silence-
Momoji: Shh! I'm hunting wabbits!
Me: -sob-
Everyone: -cricket chirping-
Me: -stops sobbing-
Kyo: Umm?
Me: I'm over it.
Yuki: Do you care about anything?
Me: Sasuke.
Yuki: Who is…?
Me: BACK OFF!
Yuki: O-okay. DON'T HURT ME!
Me: Yeah. Stupid fangirl.
Yuki: I'm not a girl!
Me: Prove it!
Yuki: I will! –pink CareBear underwear!-
Me: No, no, I'm just kidding…. Don't take off your clothes…. Seriously…
Yuki: Hmmph. –pulls up pants-
Kyo: PINK! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Shigure: I question Kyo.
Me: Shigure? Where'd you come from?
Kyo: Yeah? From behind a carrot?
Shigure: No, I was actually hiding inside a microwave.
Kyo: …DAMN YOU!
Shigure: Anyways. Don't you have blue CareBear underwear?
Kyo: No, damnit! Of course not!
Ayame: Then what is this, dear cousin! –holds up underwear-
Me: Uh…. Am I the only girl here?
Kyo: THOSE AIN'T MINE!
Me: What did I say about the ain'ts!
Ayame: Then why do they say, in Sharpie, for that matter, "Kyo's Undies?" –points-
Me: YOUNG CHILDREN! SHIELD YOUR EYES!
Kyo: YOU WROTE THAT! GO TO HELL, AYAME!
Shigure: Aw, don't say that. Ayame's just the messenger, not the writer.
Me: What….?
Yuki: At least I'm man enough to admit I like CareBears.
Me: That isn't manly.
Kyo: Yeah, Yuki-the-Girl.
Me: OOH! GUESS WHAT!
Everyone: -silence-
Momoji: Bunny kick yo butt!
Kyo: He's taken a page from Arisa.
Arisa: Oh yeahhh! Yo, yo, Momoji, homie! –still drunk-
Me: You're still drunk? STUPID DR. PEPPER OF DOOM!
Arisa: Yo, author person. –stumbles-
Me: Y'know, adding 'of Doom' onto the end of something makes it entirely more cool.
Kyo: Not uh.
Me: Yes it does.
Kyo: Nope.
Yuki: He's right. For once.
Shigure: YUKI HAS A CRUSH ON KYO!
Ayame: Deny it, brother!
Yuki: Kyo…. –kisses-
Me: Oh. Meh. Akito.
Kyo: SICKO PERVERT! –stuffs soap in mouth-
Yuki: You must admit you love me, Kyo! I love you!
Shigure: Wow. Not only a crush.
Me: Anyways.
Ayame: How can you not comment?
Me: ANYWAYS. I get to go see Who's Line with Colin Mocherie and Brad Sherwood! WOOT! I just got a ticket!
Momji: Who're they?
Me: I get the feeling you're not infected…
Momoji: NOPE! I was just prankin' ya.
Simara: SEVENTY DAYS.
Me: -scared eyes-
Kyo: I know how totake care of this. I watched Scary Movie 3.
Me: Make Shigure do it!
Shigure: Simara, all you need is a family! Ayame and I- We'd make a really good family together, with you!
Simara: Thank you. You have broken the curse! Now I can move on.
Me: Really?
Simara: Nah. I was just yankin' yo chain. –poof!-
Me: Emby won't die. Emby knows karate and will-
Kyo: -beat the hell out of her?
Me: Nope. I'll just break her neck and get over it. –shrugs-
Die Simara!
The observant will note that Simara is actually spelled SAMARA.
Wicked Awehsome, eh?
COOKIES TO MY LOVELY REVIEWERS!
AND I GET TO SEE WHO'S LINE! MUAHAAH!
Have a random day! Thank you!
♥♥♥- Emby!