Heh. Heh. Heh.
Some of you may have noticed the my Fullmetal Alchemist Fanfic hast mysteriously disappeared.
THAT'S BECAUSE NO ONE WAS REVIEWING.
Well. Oh well. Now I can devote every minuet of my life to THIS fanfic!
Tune into… Emby's 10th episode of… The Show: Fruits Basket OF DOOM!
Me: I fell asleep today.
Hatori: You have a chronic sleeping disorder.
Me: Huh? –blinks-
Hatori: What the- Were you falling asleep?
Me: No, no! I was listening! I swear!
Hatori: Yeah. Whatever.
Me: -blink blink- In this state, someone could kidnap me and I'd never care.
Akito: HAHA! –duck tape!-
Me: Duck tape?
Hatori: The fumes will probably knock her out, Akito-sama.
Me: What's with the bananas?
Yuki: Bananas? Where?
Me: Ooh. Sorry. I meant, the apples. They're floating.
Hatori: This is a weird phenomenon that has yet to be explained.
Me: THE SUN JUST EXPLODED!
Akito: WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!
Me: Just kidding. The moon got hit by a comet. The moon is much less important then that stupid Sun-san. Woah…. –passes out-
Akito: HAHAHAHA! THE DUCK TAPE WORKS!
Me: Duck tape? Where?
Yuki: Damnit, didn't you pass out?
Me: Yup.
Akito: So….. –knocks out-
Me: -gets knocked out- Anywho. A vei-
Yuki: You're acting strangely sane.
Me: And un-hilarious. As I was saying, a viewer commen-
Akito: Damn. I can't kidnap her unless she's knocked out.
Me: Woo… What? Did I miss something?
Yuki: No, damnit.
Me: Someone said that Kyo's dirty mouth had rubbed off on everyone.
Yuki: NO, DAMNIT!
Me: See? I'm the only one unaffected.
Hatori: Oh. Meh. Akito!
Me: NO……
Hatori: -poof!-
Me: Leave those words alone. Leave Sasuke alone, too.
Yuki: Who the hell is Sa-
Me: BACK OFF!
Yuki: I can't get a straight answer, can I?
Me: Nope. Shigure finally got into high school again.
Shigure: Yes! I did! I've been selling my evil giggle books!
Ayame: And my business is flourishing!
Machi: Yuki… I love you!
Me: Where did she come from? BACK AWAY, EVIL DEMON!
Machi: Yuki… I love you!
Yuki: Machi…. I'm not straight!
Me: Uh. Yeah. Try not to throw stuff around in my room. I will hack your head off with a chainsa- -cough cough- -I mean, I will not be happy if my loverly room is messed up after I just cleaned it.
Machi: Yuki…. I love you!
Me: Is that the only thing she can say? –gets hit in the head with a eight ball- Oof!
Akito: Haha! The eight ball was your undoing in the end!
Me: -falls over to the ground-
Akito: -duck tapes-
Yuki: Hey, she looks like that one dude from The Mummy! It's like, Imhotep!
Akito: …Uh, she's wrapped in duck tape, dude.
Ayame: This gives me an idea for my business! A super hot duck tape outfit!
Eight ball: MY mother used to tell me, "Just be yourself! You'll be fine."
Akito: And my mum used to tell me that alligators are so bad tempered because they never brush all those teeth!
Eight ball: Damn. You're an idiot.
Machi: Yuki… I love you!
Yuki: Will you shut up, you stupid woman! –pushes off cliff-
Machi: Yuuuuukkkiiii….. Iiiii loooooovvveee yooouuuu! –falls off cliff-
Kana: Stick! HAHA! I SHALT HAVE THOUST REVENGE ON THOU AUTHOR FOR EVILS DONE TO ME!
Akito: Did that make sense to anyone other than the stupid author? For I am GOD! of the Zodiac and Kyo!
Eight ball: -snicker- Wanna add another title to that?
Akito: If I can also be the author, I'll be happy!
Eight ball: I grant you another title. Now, someone do me a favor and put me on top of a stupid pillow. I'm feeling particularly sadistic right now.
Akito: I am now GOD! of the Zodiac, Kyo, some cookies and a "What Would Tohru Say?" Eight ball!
Eight ball: I only granted one title!
Akito: -throws Eight ball off cliff-
Kana: -pokes duck taped author with stick- MUAHAHAHA! YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT! STICK STICK STICK! HAHAHA!
Fat lady: -waddles in- Did I miss something?
Kana: It…. It…. IT BURNS US!
Yuki: The show ain't over till the fat lady sings. SING, FAT LADY! SING!
Shigure: Aye, captain! Man the harpoons! IT'S THE GREAT WHITE WHALE!
Akito: Who are you to talk about the fat lady like that?
Shigure: Call me Ishmael.
Hatori: -poof!- He's been diagnosed with the evil MOBY DICK OF DOOM! disease. It's quite contagious. Back away, everyone.
Akito: Did you know that Kate Smith is the fat lady? She used to sing something!
Kate Smith: GOD, NO! THEY RECOGNIZED ME! –runs away-
Akito: Isn't it more like –waddles away-? Not –runs away-?
Kate Smith: I'm so depressed. –throws self off cliff-
Hatori: Woo. That was almost too easy.
Shigure: Now, listen to me, Queequeg. You savvy me, I savvy you. This lad sleep here in this bed with you. You savvy?
Hatori: The evil MOBY DICK OF DOOM! disease makes people quote the book Moby Dick.
Akito: I never would've guessed. Now, I am Akito! GOD! of the Zodiac, Kyo, cookies, an "What Would Tohru Say?" eight ball, and a fat woman named Kate Smith!
A/N: That's one heck of a title.
Shigure: Aye. Me no sailor. It's just that I have this burning desire to go to sea.
Ayame: He's crazy! Yes! Shigure, let us drink sake together so we can be drunk and have no memory of what happens overnight!
Shigure: Aye, harpoons do like stuck in him like so many corkscrews. Aye, his spout is big, like Nantucket wheat. Aye, by death and devils, the white whale is Moby-Dick, if Moby-Dick you see!
Akito: Shigure, that damn disease is starting to annoy me. HATORI!
Hatori: I'm right here, idiot.
Akito: DON'T CALL ME AN IDIOT! I AM AKITO, GOD! OF THE ZODIAC, KYO, COOKIES, A "WHAT WOULD TOHRU SAY?" EIGHT BALL AND A FAT WOMAN NAMED KATE SMITH!
Hatori: ….Okay….
Akito: I wanna bath.
Hatori: Wash yourself.
Akito: Buuttt….. I DUNNO HOW! MOMMY ALWAYS USED TO!
Hatori: I am not giving you a bath. You're a big boy now.
Akito: -sniffles- Okay.
Me: Hi everyone. I'm back from my raid.
Akito: Wha….? –points at duck tape-
Me: Why'd you duck tape my Emby dummy?
Kana: Stick… That means….. HATORI! I JUST NOTICED YOU WERE HERE! –pokes eye out-
Hatori: MY EYE!
Me: -uses magical healing powers-
Hatori: I CAN SEE!
Me: I still can't count to seven!
-silence-
-cricket chirping-
Shigure: 'Tis madness to be such enraged. To seek vengeance on a dumb animal named Moby Dick is blasphemous!
Me: Uh…. Okay….? Did I miss something?
And there I shall end.
Review for me? XD
GO CHAINSAWS!
Does anyone know who Kate Smith is? If you tell me who she is, I have something special for you!
♥♥♥- Emby!