Guess what.

I'M BACK! (With weapons. Duh!)

Today's Governor of California quote:

GET IN THE CHOPPER!

Anywho!

You've waited for it…..

You've been afraid of the dark…..

You've giggled maniacally at the thought of it…..

THE SHOW: FRUITS BASKET OF DOOM!

This is Emby, signing in.

Kyo: Where the hell were you?

Me: Getting in shape.

Yuki: You're 12, damnit!

Me: Language, language!

Shigure: I speak Spanish, English, and Spanglish!

Me: ….I speak Pig Latin.

Yuki: Spanish is so much better. It's like, "Senor, Senorita! Chiklets! Comercio Chiklets! Excelente comercio!"

Me: Spanish is stupid.

A/N: No offense to you Spanish. Yeah. ♥ the Spanish.

Shigure: Is not!

Me: Is too!

Shigure: Is not!

Me: Is not!

Shigure: Is too!

Me: MUAHAHA!

Kyo: Damn author….

Me: Peace out, man.

Shigure: Where'd that come from?

Me: An overdose of MGIGCANGOJKO, the special drug of doom?

Kyo: What the hell?

Me: An overdose of MG-

Shigure: What does it mean?

Me: Maniacal Giggling.

Kyo: What about the other letters, damnit!

Me: Oh. Those? I just put them there because I felt like it.

Shigure: …

Me: Did anyone notice in the last chapter that Barney had a dirty mouth?

Yuki: Before or after you set him on fire?

Me: Before. That's why I said Kyo had been there. Because his language rubs off on everyone.

Kyo: IT DOES DAMN WELL NOT, DAMNIT! HELL YEAH!

Me: God.

Shigure: You mean Akito.

Me: Whatever. Anyways, I saw this deer toda-

Yuki: Where'd the deer come from? WE WERE TALKING ABOUT BARNEY, DAMNIT!

Me: Beats me. Anyways, this deer…. It was missing its left ear.

Shigure: Your left or my left?

Me: Your other left. The one that's not my left. Which is technically your right, but for technicality's sake, we're gonna say it's your other left.

Yuki: Does that make any sense to anyone?

Me: Not supposed to. Anyways, this deer was missing its left ear, and it was staring at me.

Yuki: …..Your point?

Me: Wow, you're acting surprisingly sane today. And this deer turns its head, and it's looking at me, when I realize that it's actually a cement deer.

Kyo: What the hell?

Me: Yup. And it wasn't actually missing its left ear. The ear was just folded behind its head, and it turned and looked at me, and said, "I'm a cement deer." That's when I realized it was a cement deer.

Yuki: -silence-

Me: Yeah. There was also this ceramic bird, that was-

Shigure: SHUT THE HELL UP!

Me: …..I've seen a surprising number of Squarks lately.

Kyo: What the hell?

Me: Squirrel/shark hybrids. They're pretty sweet. One was a flying Squark, and it bit a random persons ear off.

Yuki: You're quite violent.

Me: And insane.

Yuki: Crazy.

Me: Psycho.

Kyo: YOU'RE COMPLIMENTING YOURSELF AGAIN!

Me: Just a special trait. Anyways, no one knew who Kate Smith was. Weird, huh?

Kate Smith: -sob- -throws self off cliff-

Me: That was too easy. Where's Hatori?

Hatori: -pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooof!-

Me: That was magical.

Hatori: Wasn't it?

Me: Not anymore. In other news, a unicorn has recently speared an unsuspecting relative of Emby's who wishes only to be known as "Chrisypoofypoopydear!" The injuries were quite severe, and after ten hours of rigorous sitting, the girl –cough cough- I mean, young man commented that his favorite color was hot pink.

Kyo: What the hell?

Me: Is that your new line?

Yuki: I wish it was.

Me: AHHH!

Yuki: KYO! MY LOVE! KISS ME!

Kyo: PERVERT! GET OFFAME! –pushes off cliff-

Me: I've never seen Yuki get pushed off anything other than his mini Barbie scooter.

Hatori: First time for everything.

Me: S'ppose so. –eats Top Ramen-

(TEN MINUETS LATER)

Hatori: Why are we watching an idiot eat Top Ramen?

Me: I don't know. Why are you watching Kyo eat Top Ramen?

Kyo: BELIEVE IT!

Me: -gaspeh- Fake Ugly Naruto American Actor! GET OUT OF THE COSPLAY KYO SUIT!

Naruto: -sniffle- The people at the shop said no one would ever guess. BELIEVE IT!

Me: Heh. Heh. Heh. Time for Naruto's American Voice and Script bashing hour! –kicks off cliff-

Naruto: BEEEELLLLIIIIVVVVEEEEE IIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTT!

Me: -shudder- Next thing, Sasuke will show up. THAT would suck. His English voice is terrible, but his Japanese voice KICKS BUTT!

Hatori: WHO THE HELL IS SASUK-

Me: BACK OFF, EVIL MONSTERS! SAY HIS NAME AND YOU'RE NOT ONLY GOING FLYING OFF A CLIFF, YOU'RE GONNA BE KITTY KIBBLE AFTER A DATE WITH MY CHAINSAW!

Kyo: …..Scary……

Sakura: I'm a girl!

Me: You think I'm scary?

Sakura: I'm a girl!

Me: No one is questioning your idiotic gender, stupid high-pitched voice Sakura.

Sakura: I'm a girl!

Me: It's AYAME! –shoves off cliff-

Ayame: IIIIIII'MMMMM AAAAAAA GGIIIIRRRRRLLLLLLL!

Me: I hope that wasn't Sakura. I'm already in trouble for killing off Naruto.

Yuki: Whaddya mean?

Me: Well, um, Naruto's kinda the main charrie…… -twitch twitch-

Kyo: And that explains everything?

Me: Um, yes.

Yuki: And what's with the damn twitching?

Me: -twitch twitch-

Everyone: -silence- -cricket chirping-

Me: I can now count to six! I think that's so special….

Hatori: I thought you could count to six?

Me: Just learned.

Hatori: And you're twelve?

Me: ……..Supposedly…………

Short Chappie.

I mean, gimme a break! I haven't done this for an ENTIRE week! XD

C'mmon. Kate Smith. Hockey. Did I spell that right?

Have fun with your fingers.

♥♥♥- Emby

P.S. All my love to Chrisypoofypoopydear.