A/N: And here we are at the second to last chapter! Writing these vampires and hunters sections has made me really interested in whether or not CLAMP intends to finish the vampire subplot in another work (I, of course, really hope they do) or if they'll make an appearance in another anime (such as Syaoran, Fai, and Kurogane in Kobato). Whatever the case is, I've had a lot of fun giving them my own ending, and I hope you all continue to enjoy! Thanks to those who have reviewed, favorited, and followed the journey thus far!
Timeline/Spoilers: This chapter occurs concurrently with Subaru and Seishirou's, and as with the earlier chapter, there are no spoilers that haven't already been discussed.
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Kamui and Fuuma.
Subaru was slowly drifting away from him, the thing he had feared the most over their years of traveling from world to world, and all Kamui could think about were Fuuma's hands.
He couldn't understand why. There was nothing special about them. They were hands like anyone else's hands, perhaps a bit more calloused in some places and stronger in others, but nothing out of the ordinary. When he gazed down at where they wrapped around his waist, he could only think they were rather unrefined, rough and devoid of the delicate lines he preferred.
But it was the way they held him that electrified his nerves and sent his head spinning. Fuuma's grip was loose and his fingers were just barely brushing against Kamui's stomach, but even that light, butterfly touch somehow seemed firm and possessive. Kamui had been able to escape Fuuma's arms several times in the past, but he got the feeling if he tried to run now, he wouldn't make it far. Even worse, he no longer felt the traces of his former drive to flee. Subaru would no longer be denied the right to wish for himself, and there was only so much Kamui could impose on someone who resisted imposition. The cause he had staked himself in had all along been a futile attempt to repress his brother's heart, and rather than protecting Subaru's well-being, he had driven him into feeling lonelier and more withdrawn than he ever had before. There was nothing left to run away from, and nowhere else to run away to.
Even still, when he watched Subaru walk alone to the tavern door, Kamui felt once again the urge to protect him. It wasn't just some stranger heading out into dangerous territory, it was his brother, his twin, the person he'd been closest to for his entire life. Even if it was Subaru's own choice, he wondered if he would ever be able to forgive himself for letting him go. For once, he didn't quite feel strong enough to face the consequences of the decision he had made and the one he was on the verge of making.
"Wait, Subaru!" he called out, extending his hand. He took a step forward, but Fuuma's hands pressed against him with this movement, and he stopped in his tracks, once again frozen by the indescribable need to remain enclosed by them.
"Go," Fuuma said to Subaru. "This may be your last chance." Subaru nodded and opened the door with only a single parting smile to Kamui before he turned his back and chose the path forbidden to him.
"You have no right," Kamui hissed, whirling around to face Fuuma. "What do you know about Subaru or me? This is between us!"
Fuuma smiled, but not without a measure of sympathy. "I won't deny that I have no right, but yours is barely stronger than mine. This is between Seishirou and Subaru. We can interfere as much as we want, but what matters is what the two of them choose for themselves." Fuuma ran his thumb along Kamui's jawline. "What concerns us is what we will choose to do with each other."
"I... have no interest in anything having to do with you."
"And yet it feels so right for us to be together. You can feel it, too, can't you? That's why you're so afraid."
Kamui scoffed, forcing a look of indifference. "I'm not afraid. Whatever you're feeling... it doesn't mean anything. You don't know anything about me."
"Oh? So only the people who know you can come closer? It's no wonder you've only had Subaru at your side. How do you expect me to know you better when you won't even stay still long enough for us to talk?" Fuuma grasped him by the elbow and held him steady. "I want to know you better, Kamui. I want to know every inch and every detail. I want to know what it sounds like when you laugh, what it looks like when you smile, how it feels to touch my skin against yours. I want you to feel only me, want only me, and follow only at my side. Maybe I don't know you. But you feel so familiar to me, as if we were really meant to be together our whole lives and somehow passed each other by on accident."
Kamui blinked. That couldn't be the way it was. He chose for himself, he did as he pleased, and if he said he wasn't interested in this man, then that was the way it would be. Fate had no place trying to control him and forcing him into things he found unappealing. It was simply an accident that his path crossed with Fuuma's, and nothing in the universe would shatter if they separated themselves again.
Don't be self-righteous, something within him chided. You feel it, too. You wouldn't allow just anything to pull you away from Subaru's side, so don't dismiss the force altering your heart. Remember the way you felt watching him holding you, and the way you feel now. Why would it be there, if it was not meant to happen?
Fuuma sighed and shrugged his broad shoulders melodramatically. "Even if you puzzle it through, you won't get it using your head alone. Here, allow me."
He approached Kamui slowly, curling a finger under his chin to lift it upwards. Kamui knew without question that this was the last moment he would have to back away and retrieve Subaru and set everything back on the course he'd originally intended. He knew this, but he couldn't move or remember properly the distant heart he'd coached himself into possessing to stay strong for his brother and evade that which hunted them. His defenses were beginning to fracture, and what rested beneath them wasn't ruthless enough to repair what had been broken in time to stop the line from being crossed.
While Kamui remained frozen, Fuuma leaned in and pressed their mouths together, taking Kamui's lower lip between his and sucking it gently. Before Kamui could even process how he felt or whether or not he wanted the kiss to continue, Fuuma had captured him wholly, taking advantage of his slightly parted lips to urge them the rest of the way open with his tongue, which pushed its way through and fitted smoothly against Kamui's. Kamui made a noise of bewilderment into Fuuma's mouth, but it was muffled and muted enough to translate into a moan. Fuuma seemed to note the encouragement, and wrapped an arm around Kamui's waist and pushed his other hand into his hair to lessen the distance between them.
Kamui lost track of how long the kiss lasted. Eventually, he stopped worrying entirely over the total ridiculousness of what was happening and which method he would use to kill Fuuma when it finally ended. It was must less exhausting to close his eyes and enjoy the tender and desirous touch of this person who did not know him but seemed to understand the person he had long ago buried in his soul. Perhaps it was, as Subaru was always saying, perfectly fine to love like this. Perhaps it was fine to be wanted rather than needed, to be a captured treasure rather than a bird in aimless flight for the sake of someone who wished only for clipped wings.
When Fuuma at last pulled away, Kamui came back to himself for long enough to realize that the entirety of the tavern was staring at them, open mouthed. A flush rose to his cheeks, but Fuuma looked decidedly unabashed.
"If that was our first kiss, I can't wait to see what our next one is like," he said cheerily, taking Kamui's hand. "We'll take care of it in private from now on, so you all can go back to what you were doing."
He pulled Kamui along with him up the stairs and to the second floor where guests lodged. "Which one is yours?" he asked.
"Second."
"Left or right?"
Kamui stared blankly at the doors. He and Subaru had been here for quite some time, but for some reason he couldn't remember which was their room. His brain felt like it was no longer connected to him, as if it had factored itself out and turned him into a body acting solely on basic instinct.
"The one missing a blanket on one of the beds," he said, vaguely remembering how he had ordered Subaru to take it down with him. Why had he done that? Subaru hadn't been sick. And neither was he. There was nothing wrong in this feeling, and nothing wrong even in the weakness overwhelming his body. Ignoring himself for others was what he had willingly chosen to do, and it would always be a part of him. But for now, it felt too exhausting to carry on, and all he wanted to do was open up the other part of himself that he had forgotten existed after constant lifetimes of fighting it down.
Fuuma at last found the right bedroom and sat Kamui down on the bed. To Kamui's surprise, instead of joining him, he took a seat on Subaru's bed and folded his arms across his chest as he gazed into Kamui's eyes.
"Tell me," he said. "I want to know how it started."
"What do you mean?" Kamui asked. "What do you want me to say?"
"You knew me before Tokyo, didn't you? Or at least my soul, right? That was why you acted the way you did."
Kamui bit his lip. This was the last thing he wanted to talk about, especially not with Fuuma himself. "It was inevitable I would run into you," he said finally. "Subaru and I have been traveling for years. We went to many places and saw many people. We saw Seishirou and ourselves and even the people from our homeworld. You were only one of the many faces we saw."
"But the way you reacted to me was different. In the place we were, we were together, weren't we?"
Kamui sighed, but gave in and nodded.
"For our whole lives?"
"If not that, then for quite awhile."
Fuuma slapped his hand on his forehead and smiled sheepishly. "It's so stupid of me, but I can't help it. I get jealous. If I had been born in the same place as you, we could have grown up together and you wouldn't have a reason to be afraid of me. I act like this, but I'm really worried that I missed the chance I had to make it right. Even if I do this, will it be enough to make you want to come with me?"
Kamui picked up the pillow on his bed and chucked it at Fuuma's face, knocking off his glasses. "Are you an idiot? If every one of us was born with our soulmates ready and waiting for us as children, what would be the point of the different dimensions? The same story would play out over and over again, and our souls would never know a unique experience. You won't know me if you compare me to the me you met. It's not the same. I lived another life, and took a different path to get here. And besides, I'm not afraid of you. You try being totally happy after ending up somewhere you never meant to go."
Fuuma smiled and returned his glasses to his face, setting the pillow aside. "Soulmates, huh? I like that answer. We were destined to meet, and even though it's later in our lives, we still have the time to build our own story for our souls. That is, if you'll let me."
He stood up from Subaru's bed and sat down beside Kamui. "I'm glad you really aren't afraid of me. But I wish you wouldn't fear changing your course so much either. There isn't anything wrong in going someplace unexpected. Hasn't traveling so long taught you that?"
"It didn't matter so much, as long as I had my mission in mind. As long as I could keep Subaru safe, it didn't matter where we went."
"Then please let me be the person to give you a new mission to follow." Fuuma bent down to treat Kamui to another kiss. "Loving me. Being loved by me. Being happy together, and wishing only for each other. Wouldn't that be nice, too?"
"I don't know," Kamui admitted. "I never wanted to be caught up in what Subaru saw in Seishirou. I don't want to lose myself."
"Ah. You know, I don't think your brother lost himself at all. He just found out that what he considers happiness is different from how your average person feels, just as Seishirou's idea of it differs. And mine." He placed his hands on Kamui's shoulders, easing him down on the bed. "Why else would I feel so drawn to a little wildcat who will probably end up scratching me with his claws?"
"Oh, as if you're so much better yourself," Kamui snapped, turning his head away in case Fuuma got it in his head to kiss him again. "Always smiling as if everything's a joke to you and touching people without their permission."
"Without their permission, huh? So how about it, Kamui?" Fuuma's teeth found his ear and gave it a little nip. "Can I touch you?"
"I thought you said you wanted to get to know me better. What does this have to do with anything?"
"It has to do with everything. There is so much you can learn about a person just by holding them. Here." He rolled Kamui over onto his stomach so they were no longer facing each other. "Let me get you used to it. If you're embarrassed, you don't have to look at me."
Kamui was about to protest again, but Fuuma's hand found his shoulders and began to massage them. It felt soothing and relatively innocent, so he kept quiet and decided to wait and see what Fuuma had in mind. His hands felt excellent, strong and conscientious as they followed the shape of Kamui's muscles and relaxed them. Kamui closed his eyes and exhaled into the sheets where his pillow should have been.
"You carry too many burdens on your own," Fuuma whispered, loosening Kamui's neck cloth and sliding his cloak to the floor so there were fewer layers of fabric between them. "Would it be too much for me to ask you to share them with me, now? It would make me so happy if you trusted me and let yourself be a bit selfish when we're together."
"And you? If you make it all about me, won't it be exactly like what I did to Subaru?"
"Not at all. I consider myself quite selfish, Kamui. After all, I managed to catch you here in my arms, even though I knew you didn't want to end up here. And like my brother, I fully intend to have you lost in me, so I can monopolize you to my heart's content and never have you touched by anyone else. That's my idea of happiness." His hands paused on Kamui's back. "Can I take off your shirt? It will feel better for you if I can touch your skin."
Kamui grumbled, but did not refute him.
Once relieved of his shirt, Fuuma's hands resumed their gentle movements. He was right; it did feel a whole lot better to have their skin touching, to feel the pads of his fingers kneading against him. The remains of his wariness slipped away, and his body stirred slightly at the warmth of the feeling. It was comforting and sweet, but not too much for him to handle.
As he relaxed further, Fuuma replaced his hands on Kamui's skin with his mouth. Kamui started at first as the back of neck received a kiss and then a short lick, but Fuuma's actions were so slow and gentle that it almost felt as natural and innocent as his former touch. He held back his protest, and allowed Fuuma to mark trails down his body, from the skin of his neck down his arms and back. When Fuuma's lips reached the small of his back and his hands fumbled for the waist of his pants, Kamui couldn't remember a reason why he would have ever complained. He had wondered about this from the moment he had watched his other self locked in Fuuma's embrace, and had secretly desired the knowledge of how it felt. He had wanted it then, and he wanted it still, he realized. If he wasn't strong enough to allow himself a chance at happiness now, he didn't think he ever would be.
"See?" Fuuma whispered huskily into his ear. "I'm learning about you. You were uncertain at first as to whether we should be doing this, but you're submitting slowly. You want to be happy. You want me to make you happy. You're thinking what comes next might be what you're looking for. And..."
"And...?"
"When I touch you, you get softer. You're still yourself, but you let go of yourself a little. It's beautiful. I'm glad I'm the only one who has seen it."
Slowly, he hitched Kamui's hips upwards and pressed his lips against his entrance. "Can I, please?" he asked as Kamui trembled in surprise. "I promise I won't hurt you."
"How can you promise that?" Kamui whispered. "Everyone knows it hurts."
"But I won't. I'll take it just as slowly as you need me to go."
Keeping one hand rubbing comfortingly down Kamui's back, he licked the rosy skin gently, providing the moisture needed to smooth the tenderness of where they would join together. Kamui heard himself making a strange noise, and clapped his hands over his mouth.
Fuuma chuckled. "It's okay, Kamui. I'm feeling good, too. And it will make me feel even better if I can hear your voice."
This time, he eased a finger in and slowly stroked inside, only adding another and then another when Kamui relinquished permission. "I'll wait until all you feel is pleasure before we go any further," he promised, though Kamui could hear the strain in his voice, the effort he placed into holding himself back. "I'll make you feel good."
I'm already feeling good, Kamui thought, too embarrassed to confess to it out loud. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if he went a little faster. But this is good, too. I don't think I've ever been treasured like this in my life.
"I'm ready," Kamui said finally, turning his head to gaze back at Fuuma. When their eyes met, his breath caught. The look on Fuuma's face was pure want, pure beauty. Why didn't I want this to happen? Why did I ever run in fear of this?
"Are you sure?" Fuuma asked.
"Yes. But not like this. I can't reach you like this."
Fuuma lowered his body weight onto Kamui, his arousal brushing enticingly close. Kamui turned his head and joined his lips to Fuuma's for a brief moment. "This is much better."
"I'm not crushing you?"
"I feel fine," Kamui snarled, baring his teeth. "So please go on and be selfish. I plan to."
"Now that's what I like to hear."
With an agonizing slowness, Fuuma slid their bodies together a little bit at a time so Kamui would have ample opportunity to adjust. It stung at first, but Fuuma kept his promise as best as he could. He only progressed when Kamui begged him, and even then, he did so little that Kamui thought he would cry at being denied the movements he wanted.
"This is good," Fuuma murmured, though Kamui could feel him throbbing with more desire than he was displaying. "I always wanted to know what you sounded like when you got like this."
"Bastard. Stop playing around."
"I'm not playing around. I'm treasuring you. And you seem to be enjoying it, too."
There was no denying that. When Fuuma finally began to move in earnest, he found himself slipping further into the glorious chaos battling in his heart. He crushed the sheets within his hands and cried out lowly, forgetting his embarrassment and all the people eating below them. Forgetting Subaru and Seishirou and what he could do to prevent them from being together. All he could feel was Fuuma inside of him and the pounding of his own heart which told him that he was at last following the right path, the path that was meant for him alone to take.
"I love you," Fuuma hissed into his ear, and that was all Kamui needed to hear to release everything inside of him. He collapsed onto his bed, the words ringing in his ears. I love you, I love you, I love you. What a novel thing. And all of this time, I could have wished for this instead. This is what I should have been searching for.
"Will you come with me?" Fuuma asked, rolling off of him and pressing Kamui's damp face to his chest.
"Where?"
"Everywhere."
Kamui stared at him for a moment. "Are you doing this for Seishirou and Subaru?"
Fuuma snorted. "My brother's an ass. I care about him, but he can take care of himself. It's true that they'll have to stay here, but I'm doing this for us. I want to be with you. But staying still just seems... not like me. And not like you either."
"It's inevitable I'll be hunted. It won't be easy."
"Naturally. And the hunting I do is no easy trip either. But I'll fight for you, you know? And I'd welcome you fighting for me, if you're up to it."
Kamui sighed. "I just have a feeling if I leave, I'll return to find Subaru half-dead at the hands of that monster."
"Don't worry about that. I care about what you care about, and that includes Subaru. We'll stop by to keep my brother on the straight and narrow, all right? But I don't think he'll hurt him in the way you're thinking. He's pretty horrible at showing it, but he really does cherish your brother."
"Hmph." Kamui rolled over, burying his face in the pillow. "It wouldn't bother me."
"Traveling with me?"
"I guess. You might not be as bad as I thought you were."
"Wow. Was that a compliment?" He laughed and pressed his lips against Kamui's forehead. "You know, I'm glad we found one another. We were probably fated to meet from the very beginning, but don't think for a moment that I didn't choose you myself. You were exactly what I was looking for. It would be an honor to live at your side, Kamui. And I hope you won't object to me treasuring you even more in the future even better than I did tonight."
Kamui only relaxed his frown into a brief smile and turned to look out the window. The snow was still falling, and any tracks that Subaru and Seishirou had left in the snow had been covered over. This place would be their home now. It wouldn't be much of a life by Kamui's standards, but he could only hope his brother knew what he was doing in choosing the hunter to stay with him. Whatever happened, it wouldn't be Kamui's choices that would determine the conclusion. At last, he had somewhere else to be, someone else to be with. And he didn't think there was anything else in the world but Seishirou that could make Subaru happier than that.
"I might love you, too," he said quietly, muffling his words with his hands. Fuuma leaned over and pressed a kiss against his back as if he'd heard, even though Kamui hadn't truly wanted him to. Fuuma still had so much left to learn about him, so much more left to expose, and he wished to keep the dearest secret he had left and keep it captive in his heart until even that was unveiled and they knew each other wholly, completely, and could with full certainty say that they had done right in choosing each other, not only in this world but everywhere their souls existed to find one another and fall in love, just like this.
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Final Chapter: Fai and Kurogane
