Dudeness.
Where have I been?
Well, Mum said, "NO
INNERNET FOR JOO!"
And the rest of the family.
So, it's back to weekends and Thursday nights for you loverly reviewers. –nod nod-
On a weirder note….
THIS IS EMBY.
TYPING.
WOW.
ISN'T IT MAGICAL?!
I USE CAPS TOO MUCH!
BRINGING AN EXTRA DOSE OF STUPID TO YOUR DAILY LIFE!
IT'S FURUBA DOOMED!
Akito: What…. What have you done….?
Me: -poof- -smug- I toldja we'd all be unicorns…. Ooh! I look pretty. –happy!-
Akito: WHAT THE FF'NN HELL DID YOU DO?!?! DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE BODY OF A UNICORN TO YOU?!
Kyo: -poofity!- WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?!
Me: Oh. Well… Um… Kyo…. Ever heard of an orange unicorn? Like the color of your hair. –nod nod-
Shigure: He's an evil unicorn, because of his red eyes.
Me: Yep yep!
Akito: Sorry to interrupt your little conversation, BUT WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO ME?!
Me: Oh? You're a unigoat. Like from before!
Akito: -murderous- AND WHY THE HELL DID YOU DECIDE THAT?!
Me: Oh. I don't know. Just because. –shrug-
Kyo: Evil unicorn… I like the sound of that, damnit….
Shigure: I'm a Oscar Myers hot dog!
Me: No, you're just one of those little black dogs. --
Hatori: Yo, MeH gAnGsTa HoMiEs! WaT uP iN tHe HoUsE, hOmE dOg? Yo! –peace sign-
Akito: What the hell? –weird goat face-
Me: Um, let's go to the fanmail early today, okay? Yeah. Okay.
-Rest of Furuba charries POOOOOOF in. 'Cept Tohru. Because she's a loser. JUST KIDDING! I love Tohru. In a friendly way. Dude.-
MAIL OF THE FAN!
Me: -holds script- To Ayame: I think Yuki is jealous of your passionate relationship with Shigure. Maybe you should try to show him more love and affection.
Yuki: Yeah, Ayame. Love and affection.
Ayame: DEAREST! –kisses Yuki-
Shigure: To be honest, I LOVE YUKI TOO! –kisses-
Me: Children! Hide thy eyes! Sight is too gay to see!
Yuki: -is kissed- -stops making out- I hope Kyo isn't jealous. I LOVE YOU KYO! –kisses-
Kyo: GET OFFA ME, YOU-
Me: Now, now, now… Censors R Us are annoyed with all the swearing… They'll sue my makeup artist if it gets too bad….
Ayame: Makeup?!
Me: Anyways….. To Kyo: You're a murderer! You killed me with your awful language! My blood is forever stained on your hands!
A/N: Little dramatic, aren't we:)
Kyo: Damn right your blood is on my hands!
Me: Take that back!
Kyo: Never!
Me: Do it!
Kyo: I take that back!
Me: Good boy. –pats head- Next question is to Hatori: Have you ever considered going to rehab? Your drug problem is out of control. You're losing your mind!
Hatori: HoMiE, wAt U tAlKiN aBoUt? I aInT gOt No DrUg PrObLeM! YO!
Me: He's got a spelling problem. That's for sure.
Hatori: Fo ShOrE! In Da HoOd! My PiLlS aRe HaPpY pIlLs!
Me: And a caps abusal problem. He's gonna get his doctor's license revoked… Do doctors have licenses?
Akito: OVER MY DEAD BODY! I NEED TO GET HIM TO PERSCRIBE ME ILLEAGAL PILLS! GO TO HELL!
Me: Shush, shush. The nice men in the white coats will be here soon to take you away, and put you in a nice, soft room.
-hummingbird-
Me: ANYWHO! Next Q&Stupid A. To Hatsuharu: Kyo is trying to steal Yuki away. You should go black and raise some hell.
Haru: DAMN RIGHT! KYO, YOU'RE GONNA DIE FOR STEALING MEH LOVER BOY!
Yuki: Harry! I knew you loved me!
Me: O.O It's… Haru….
Yuki: Yes! Haru!
Kyo: DIE, DAMNIT!
-fight commences in backround-
-glass shatters-
-erratic yelling-
-police come investigating arson-
Me: Next question, to me… Whoa, this is weird… POTC fan….? "Why is the rum gone?"
Shigure: I can answer that one. Easy. –evil grin-
A/N: Why isn't this rated M?!?!
Ayame: LET'S ALL GET CRAZILY DRUNK!
Me: Rum. Rum. Rum.
-hummingbird-
Me: AKITO! YOU'RE NOW A UNIGOAT WHO'S A TRAPEZE ARTISTE!
Akito: -jumps on ropes- Dah duh dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah! –circus music-
Me: -rolls eyes- Anywho. Holy Powers of Joyous Darkness, WHERE IS ALL MEH LOVELY FANMAIL?! MUST… TYPE!
Kyo: O.o How can you type if you're a unicorn?
Me: I have opposable hooves. –nod nod- Speaking of, I just realized I can type without looking at meh hands! –stares at hands- Oops, I mean, hooves.
A/N: Before I keep on going, I would like to offer my best apologies to DesirePassion. I don't hate you, my mum just won't lemme on the internet! –sob- PLEASE, FORGIVE ME!
Me: This is now titled, my milkshake and cookies!
Shigure: What?
Me: I had sugarfree gum today. And then I was hyper 'cause of it!
Yuki: Doesn't sugarfree gum have no sugar?
Me: Yep! That's why I'm hyper!
Everyone: Oo
Me: Yeah, I know you think I'm cool.
-hummingbird-
-silence-
Me: It was my b-day on the 13th of November. No one really cared. –sad-
-silence-
Me: YOU obviously don't care, EITHER!
-silence-
Me: Hellllooooo?!
-silence-
-hummingbird-
Me: They left me. Again. I guess I shouldn't have stayed off so long.
-silence-
Me: Do you think they'll ever come back?
-silence-
Me: TALK TO ME, SILENCE!
Silence: I ain't s'pposed to.
Me: Then what are you doing right now?
Silence: Being silent.
Me: Oh. That's lovely.
Silence: I know. Isn't it?
Me: So, um, as I was-
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!
-Behind the scenes at Furuba of Doom-
Director: Gawd, they have to stop walking out on her. It messes everything up.
Producer: Yeah, I know. The little lines on the blue card can't help her now.
Dierector: Bob, do you think she knows she's talking to herself?
Producer: Nope. We probably could tell her, Tom.
Director: It's kinda funny. –giggle-
Producer: No one else thinks so.
Lines Producer (LP): I can't think of anything funny.
Director: SUCKS FOR YOU! –laughs-
Susie: Hey, boys.
Producer: -drool-
LP: Aw, c'mmon man, platinum blonde is so yesterday.
Susie: Really? The bottle said boots shine for the poor… -worried-
Mama: My gawd, get a comedian in there!
Director: It's a good thing they don't know we drink on the job. –sips vodka- Emby would kill us.
LP: Probably not. She'd yell at us for not letting her have the bottle.
Susie: Oh, that ?! SHE TOOK MY SHOW SPOT! And those bags of sand up near the ceiling never seem to hit her head.
LP: Oh, so you're the one who did that?
Susie: What? I was talking about my manicure.
Director: Eat piggie.
Producer: YOU!
Director: What kind of name is Producer, anyways?! You sound like a bunch of fresh veggies!
Producer: Are you saying I'm a carrot?!
Director: So what if I am?!
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP
Me: That was weird.
-silence-
Me: I wish they'd come back. I wonder if the tape's even rolling. We could probably get Oprah on the show. That'd be funny. Let's do that next time, 'kay, Director? Director? Where are you? –runs off set-
-silence-
-faint screaming in backround-
Me: -comes back with vodka in hand- NO, I DO NOT DRINK! –throws bottle at Director's head- You're fired!
Director: I hired myself! You can't fire me!
Me: -chainsaw-
Director: Fine. Be that way. I'm coming, baby! –waves at Producer-
Me: He was…. Gay? –shiver- Then all those times they were hitting on Susie…. –shudder-
-silence-
Me: GAW! FORGET IT! –stomps off-
Hey, it's not long.
But I want Oprah!
Anyways, this is dedicated to DesirePassion…. Because I don't want her to hate me…. –sigh-
♥♥♥- Emby!
P.S. Have a Sugar-free gum day!