It just occurred to me.
I'm a freakin' psychopathic writer! Yay:D
Well, also, not to mention that I'm way too sarcastic…. My RP'ing charries are all screwed 'cause of me.
But that's okay! Because I'M the RP'er! Yay!
COODLES: After a quick –cough- comerical break, we're back with Furuba Super Edition Home Makeover!
MYNAMEISBARNEY man: Coodles, you mean, Little Sister.
COODLES: -blush- Yes, yes, Little Sister. Anyways, when we left, we were commencing the Backstabber challenge! The pairs are put into separate rooms, and instructed to bodily injure their roommates! –smirks-
-cough cough-: -sits up- Cream frosting! –falls backwards-
MYNAMEISBARNEY man: -whispers- Don't let it happen again, USE THE FORCE-neggar! I'll fire you, I warn you! –holds up match-
Arnold: Yo. –hits cough person with fire extinguisher-
A/N: Inflicting pain on myself hurts. DX Does this make me a masochist or pain lover or whatever?
Random Person: Yeah. You're a psychopath. –whams with super grocery cart-
A/N: I've been watching my little brother play too much Dead Rising! All the Harleys and Pointy-Killer grocery carts and katanas and sniper rifles that inflict two health damage and lazer swords and stuff are rubbing off on me!
Zombie: BBBBaaaaaIIIttttt! –lunges-
A/N: -screeches- -runs off-
Zombie: -blink blink- IiiIIIeee Am ToO UUUUggggLLLLyyyy tttOOO LLLiiiVVVee! –throws self off mall roof-
A/N: Before it gets any more out of hand…. –shudders- -takes very dead zombie photo- Woot! 500,767 Prestige Points for Outtake, Brutality, and Drama! Not to mention the zombie was a hooker, so that gives me Erotica, too! –dances- Level up!
MYNAMEISBARNEY man: WTF is up with that inner monologue? –stares-
COODLES: AH HEM! –coughs- Let's get on with this! –scowl changes to pleasant smile- Now, let's reintroduce our pairs!
Akito and Momiji
Haru and Ayame
Hatori and Kyo
Shigure and Kisa
Yuki and Kagura
(Emo) Kureno
MYNAMEISBARNEY man: And all are in their separate rooms!
A/N: Yes, I know Momiji's name's spelled wrong in other chappies. But it's freakin' okay, 'cause I AM THE ALL POWERFUL! ;D
COODLES: Now, let's go to our first pair.
…..
Akito: No weapons? WTF?!
Momiji: Ooh, the walls are padded! –bounces- I like padded walls!
Akito: Wait… -scuffles in kimono-
Audience: -GASP-
-silence-
Audience: -uncomfortable silence-
Random Woman: Take it all off, baby! –throws underwear at screen-
Random Man: Wife! I told you I wouldn't tolerate cross-gender relationships! –tsk-
RW: I don't care! Anyways, he's a guy!
RM: Whatever! I should know, 'cause I did something with HER!
Audience: -GASP-
(In Room: Akito: -evil laugh-
Momiji: -bloodcurdling scream-)
Audience: -ignoring-
RW: Don't make me snap my fingers in a Z Formation! –snaps fingers-
Audience: OHMEHGAWD! WTF?!
(Akito: Yes?
Momiji: Save…. Me! –sob-)
RM: Oh no you din'nt!
RW: Oh yes I did! You –beep!-
Audience: GASP!
RM: Don't talk to me like that, fool! –backhand slap-
Audience: GASP! –fascinated watching-
Other Person: This is better than the popular movie, "Honey, I Traumatized the Kids By Showing Them Things They Shouldn't See," Scene Two Hundred and Seventy-Three, 'The Thong Strikes Again!'
Another Other Person: Yeah, even better than the popular soap opera, "BackHand Fool Slaps of Our Lives!"
Other Another Person: But not nowhere as good as "Everybody Loves Stalker-Guy Named Raymoondo Who Stalker Raymond Until Raymond Had an Unfortunate Accident After Which Raymoondo Decided He'd Stalk Everyone Else Until They Loved Him!' Episode 1,506,935 which is called "The Last Victim: You!" It's kind of like The Ring-o, because you see it and get stalked for seven days and then you have an unfortunate accident. It's cool.
Audience: -tired of GASP!ing- -random moans-
Other Person Who Wishes He Was Another: Y'know what's worse? "You and Your Life: An Instructional Thingy Guide That Helps You Commit Suicide and Then Be Risen in Ghost Form By a Good Necromancer So You Can See What You're Missing."
Person Doomed to Be Otherish: I like that show.
RW/RM: Eh Hem?
People: Oh. Sorry. Get on with it, now!
COODLES: MIND WATCHING THE SCREEN?!
Audience: -tries to GASP!, fails, and most die in the resulting conflicting swarm of GASP!less people-
Everyone: -stares at screen-
Person: Where's Momiji?
(Back to Room of Doom)
Akito: MUAHAAHA! –evil laughter- -blood covered hands-
-room is spattered with blood-
Akito: -holding carrot- Now that he's gone, I can finally use up the last of this damn fake blood on someone and not save it for him! MUAHA!
(Rest of) Audience: -blink blink-
COODLES: Okay, um, let's move to our next pair after this quick commercial break!
-sigh-
COODLES: Damn, MYNAMEISBARNEY man, this isn't as easy a scam as it looks.
MYNAMEISBARNEY man: Just call me MNIB, for God's sakes. –annoyed-
COODLES: We're making tons of dimes, but that's about it! I want million-dollar bills. –evil eye glint-
MNIB man: By the time the show's over, there'll be no one left to complain about theft!
A/N: Do my Super Author Senses sense a Plot? –gasp-
COODLES: Quick, put that moustache back on. We're on in Three…Two… One… Welcome back! Our next pair is Haru and Ayame!
…
Haru: -blinks- -yawns-
Ayame: I cannot bring myself to harm you! –throws self against wall-
Haru: Get a life. –falls asleep-
Ayame: I shall poof in my most dignified way! –Drag Queen Alert! WHEE WOO WHEE WOO!- -Poofs-
-hours later-
Haru: Did I win?
…
Hatori: oNe oF uS mUsT dIe! –pulls out drug needle-
Kyo: Damn you. –stares at floor- Damn you.
Hatori: -stabs self with needle- YaY fOr DrUgS!
COODLES: Well, um, I guess that means both Hatori and Kyo move on…. –blink-
…
Shigure: I thought you loved me!
Kisa: -sigh- I just wanted damn Hiro out of my –bleep- hair! –throws Spiderman doll-
Shigure: NUU! –poof-
…
Kagura: You ruined my life! –snarls-
Yuki (half naked): I FEEL MY HORMONES COMING ON! –sobs-
Kagura: Stupid hormones!
Yuki: I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I feel happy…. –dances around-
Random Person: Flower Princess! –throws flowers-
Yuki: Flowers?! My angsty self can't deal with that! –poof-
…
(Emo) Kureno: I don't wanna kill my emoness…. –blink blink-
-BAM-
-A GREAT FLASH OF LIGHT!-
-AND NOW KURENO HAS SEPARATE PERSONALITIES!-
-GASP-
Emo: I feel angsty.
Happy: I LOVE YOU, WORLD! I LOVE YOU, PADDED WALLS! –hugs wall-
Emo: Tree hugger! –grabs knife- Tree hugger! –advances-
Happy: Emo… What are…. What are you doing? –wails- No!
COODLES: Emo is the… Obvious… Winner.
…
A/N: Yes, I know he's plotness in a box… But…
Harin: Nuu! I was disembowled!
A/N: Private joke. –evil grin-
…
COODLES: Now, let's see who's left over!
Akito
Haru
Hatori
Kyo
Kisa
Kagura
(The Emoness of) Kurenoness
MNIB man: Now, our next challenge…. Um…. –thinks- Gum chewin'.
Kagura: WTF? –poof-
Kisa: I refuse to lower myself to such…. Extremes. –scowls- -disappears to some dark space-
COODLES: Let the chewing begin!
-LONG TIME LATER-
COODLES: Haru, you won, and therefore, you are eliminated along with Hatori! –evil laugh-
Haru: Did I win? –poofs-
MNIB man: That leaves Emo Kureno and Kyo! WHO WILL WIN?!
-DUN DUN DUN!-
COODLES: I have an appointment. Just kill them now. –walks off-
MNIB man: Fine. –sighs- -grabs knife-
Kureno and Kyo: -too angsty to move-
PERSON: I'LL SAVE YOU!
-kicks butt-
Me: Okay. ;D Show's saved.
MNIB man: But… How?
Me: -sighs- How many times do I have to explain to you people? I am the Almighty.
Everybody else: -poofs back-
Kisa: Damn, I didn't want to come back, you –bleep-!
Me: Kisa! I'm shocked! ;d
Kyo: I'm shocked that you still have the maturity of a five year old.
Me: The whole world is against me…. –wails- -sniff- Let's… Just open fanmail.
A/N: Do you know how many think me and my mad writing skillz are hot? At least 13. xD Makes me happy.
Me: First, to Kyo: I love you, bestest buddy!
Kyo: -blink blink- My lawyer says not to reply for fear of alerting Censors-R-Us.
Lawyer: -whisper- I cost 300$ per quarter second.
Kyo: WHAT THE –BLEEEEEEEP- -lots of words that shouldn't be repeated-
Me: Chibi Sasuke! Yay! –huggles-
Chibi Sasuke: Woo…. –poof-
Me: DX Doom.
Yuki: WTF was that?! –still only wearing towel-
Fangirls: -spazzing-
Me: Next, to Yuki: I hope you get a disease from kissing Kagura. I used to love you, but now you disgust me! Kagura and Yuki, sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love, then comes-
Yuki: I'm too angsty to care. –sighs-
Fangirls: -overturn table- WHAT THE HELL!?
Me: To Hatori: You're a pirate who cAiNt SpHeL wurth A ShEt!
Hatori: PiRaTeS gEt HiGh?! CoOl! WhAt ArE tHeY sNiFiN? I wAnT iT! Yo, HoMiEs! WaZ uP iN tHe HoOdZ?
A/N: My comp's spazzing 'cause every single word in above sentence is incorrectly used. :)
Me: And… That's it. All of it.
-silence-
Me: -revvs chainsaw- I got some zombies to kill! –runs off-
-silence-
Kyo: This sucks.
Tohru: -poof- What'd I miss? –bright smile-
And with that, I'm afraid this lovely fanfiction must come to an end.
I know, it's terrible, but it has to stop sometime. xD Just be consoled that another (prob'ly not psycho) is coming in about 4 or 5 days! WOOT!
I'm sorry it took so long to update. My schedule's screwed, and my fingers get cold. xD And this one, I was reluctant to end, but now it's done!
Tell me you aren't relieved.
Hugs and Giggles to all!
The Cheesecake Feels Tingly.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥- EMBY OF DOOOOM! (Also known as Chainsaw Master, Leader of Order of the Chainsaw, Psychopath, Way Hyper, and Beloved of the Stupids, not to mention GOD! of the Zodiac and Kyo, a toaster oven, a What Would Tohru say Eight Ball, some peas, magical black sludge, chainsaws, some borrowed chopsticks, a big ego, and a life!)
THANKS TO-
DesirePassion- Thanks, bestest buddy! ♥
Chi (ReLaTeS)- Yay! –huggles- You made me laugh, and cry with joy!
CatsEyeFlashlight- Wicked awehsome skillz.
TheFutureMrs.HaruSohma- Haru can be gay if he wants to be! xD
Kluv19-You've stuck through all the chappies! Without dying! Yay!
Haru and Oki- You're wrong. Haru's MINE! –evil giggle laughter-
CowsRFreaky45- Cows scare me, too. :D
Itatchi's Sharingon Lover- If I can be Sasuke's lover, then we're even!
LivingOblivion-Keep on laughing like a rabid Chihuahua!
EcoliandtheChihuahua- Lovely fanfics!
Arilaen- Thanks for the LOL! xD
BlackShinobi- You're right, it is a parody! Weird….
Mugglecastlover31- For telling me I'm not delusional. Thanks, love. ;D
CallxMexSenseixSenpaixSamax- Hilarity smells? COOL!
AKITO. At the Disco- Thanks for letting Akito play Gawd. Keep up the parodies!
Tori31- Fond of my chainsaw? That's awesome, but get your own! xD
Yasu-san- You stay happy, too! ♣
SakuraRibbons- Thanks for the support! Have a pea. XD
Dark Wyndwing- Sissy stopped reading after awhile. Tsk. But, I love her all the same! ♥
Invaderfromearth- I likey the penname….
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If I forgot you, TOO BAD! XD
But, anyways, thank you all, and love you much. Hope to see you again! If you put me on your Favorites, then thanks all the more. ♥
AND TO ALL YOU READERS- A GREAT BIG HUG FILLED WITH CHAINSAWS BENT INTO WEIRD SHAPES IN THE BACKGROUND!
-ah hem- That's a compliment.
Happy Leprechaun day!
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ (again)- EMBY OF DOOOOM! (Also known as Chainsaw Master, Leader of Order of the Chainsaw, Psychopath, Way Hyper, and Beloved of the Stupids, not to mention GOD! of the Zodiac and Kyo, a toaster oven, a What Would Tohru say Eight Ball, some peas, magical black sludge, chainsaws, some borrowed chopsticks, a big ego, and a life!)
P.S. If you read this all in one sitting, cool. Your brain must hurt. XD
P.S.S. WARNING: MIGHT EXPLODE.
P.S.S.S. You can even keep reviewing! Woot!
P.S.S.S.S. Okay, serious now, Bai Bai!
P.S.S.S.S.S. No, I guess I really wasn't serious. xD