Lightning's Thoughts

On The Military

Lightning wanted so badly to be mad at Sazh for the things he kept saying about soldiers and the military. He seemed like a fair and reasonable man, shouldn't he know not to ask such things of a soldier? It didn't help that she was already in panic mode trying to find her sister.

When he asked her if she would shoot blindly, he already had known -had seen- the truth. She wanted to tell him off, but it was the truth. If it hadn't been for her sister…

But he didn't know, no one knew each soldier's story and every one of them had one.

Sure, she would shoot. Sure, she had. Yes, the military had changed her, but she was still human. Like anyone else, she had a drive and a reason behind it all. The military was like some sort of twisted trap, ensuring it's victims with tempting promises.

The promise of shelter, or a roof over her sister's head, the promise of education and food, it had been all she needed.

It wasn't Lightning's first choice, or any of the choices she seriously contemplated. That is, until her mother began to fall more ill day by day. Then, it became her only choice.

The military became her own personal Hell as well as her salvation. It condemned and protected her. As every soldier she grew to love it loyally, and fear it in the dark. Would she fall, lose her humanity as she had seen others? Would she grow numb to the world, or break under the pressure?

And now? She felt like a dog who had freed herself from it's leash. She wanted both to run back to it's safety as well as to keep running and never return.

People used to ask her what the Guardian Corps was like and she never knew how to answer, "it's alright, better than PSICOM." She never could give a straight answer, she probably wouldn't ever be able to. She had been trained to have steadfast loyalty, blind devotion, and unquestioning eyes.

How could a puppet have an opinion of it's master?

A/N:
Hello! Sorry for not updating (I really don't have a legit excuse, I have like five chapters ahead of this written already). Despite that fact, I have been busy with my summer job and getting sick and having relatives over. I haven't written anything in two weeks T_T

This story is getting close to an end, as I said before once this is over I'll start up one for XIII-2. I'm working out what Ideas I'll do for that one. Also I have a Fanfiction idea that I'm working on that (hopefully) will start being uploaded by the end of summer (though I wanted to have already started it, but life likes to mess with my plans). I'll have more info on that the closer I get to finishing up the first chapter.

As always thanks for reading and it's good to be back! :D