A few weeks passed without anything happening. Blaine started to hang out with his 'friends' during his free time and went to bed the second he got back to his cell. If he couldn't get Kurt to hate him then his only option was to ignore him completely. It was going well… despite the growing emptiness within him from being so close yet so far away from Kurt. It was like he had become adjusted to living in the dark, when suddenly Kurt switched on the lights. But now the lights were gone and he was being swallowed by blackness, scared, lost, alone, the light was there but he couldn't see it…

Everything had become a big blur of pointless conversations, mediocre meals and tediously dull tasks. He'd sit at the table and listen to them go on and on about pointless topics, like he was watching some kind of chat show on TV. A bad, midday chat show which nobody watched but housewives and people on sick days. Oh, and the unemployed. He'd put in just enough effort into the leaf raking, litter picking, fence painting or whatever his community service was, just enough so that he wouldn't draw attention from the other convicts or get hassle from the wardens.

Who knew that prison could be so tedious and boring? If he had to put up with this for twelve years he'd go completely insane and either kill himself or everyone around him. The only interesting part of the day was when two convicts/gangs would start fighting at any random moment, which was fun to watch until the prison went into lock down.

Eventually, the day Blaine had been both looking forward to and dreading arrived.

Visiting day.

As he sat at his usual breakfast table with his usual company, he actually felt the need to contribute to the conversation, which was of course about the big day.

"So," Blaine swallowed a mouthful of breakfast, "You guys got visitors?"

"My mom," nodded Artie, "she's disappointed in me but… she still comes. We just… talk. She tells me about what's going on with my family and… we talk about the past. Its simple conversation but… it's more then I deserve…" Artie swallowed; there was a clear lump in his throat. Sam patted him on the shoulder. Blaine didn't even dare hope his own mother would show up.

"My parents and my little brother and sister are coming." Said Sam, his hand still on Artie's shoulder, "they're old enough to know what's going on and… they're still coming." He smiled a little, an expression similar to Artie's on his face. Blaine thought about Cooper, his own brother. Cooper had never liked his father; they'd had plenty of rows when his father was drunk. Blaine was the only one his father had ever struck, and Coop was always there to offer him comfort. Cooper seemed to be the only person in the world who truly liked Blaine, and Blaine thought of him as a best friend. He could tell him anything, Coop would always understand. Except… he never told him he was gay. He assumed he'd know by now. Blaine never knew where Coop stood when it came to sexuality; he never really gave an opinion. Blaine simply assumed he'd share the same thoughts as the rest of the town did. He felt a sudden terror grip his chest, like the kind you'd get when you're home alone and hear a loud bang from another room. Was anyone even going to come? He had no friends… only his family… would they even want to see him? He stared at his remaining breakfast, cold reality washing through him. Blaine had nobody… not anymore… twelve years of crushing loneliness behind bars and eternal loneliness out of them. Blaine was simply a walking shadow, who'd blend into the crowd before disappearing for good. He looked around the table, everybody talking about who was coming and about how they still loved them inspite of everything and how lucky they were… they'd be set free and their friends and family would take them in and their lives could begin again. But for Blaine the darkness would always be there… he'd never grow accustomed to it again. The world was bright and good but Blaine was blind… and there was nobody to take him by the arm and guide him, to help him grow accustomed to the darkness and maybe help him break through it. He'd just stagger around, reaching into the blackness and finding nothing. Lost… alone… frightened and forgotten. Reduced to town gossip and eventually nothing. The worst part was… it was the life he chose. He climbed into bed with his house keeper. He grabbed the knife. He used it…

He made his bed, so let him lay in it…

The moment Blaine was now only dreading eventually arrived, and Blaine prepared himself to sit tight whilst wardens fetched prisoners to escort them to the visiting room. They were waiting in the dining hall; Blaine's table sat in silence. For once, there was nothing else to be said, like every conversational topic had been used. The viewers of Juicy Jailbirds will get bored if the episodes are repetitive. All around him people left, and then came back, but some stayed exactly where they were. One by one Blaine's table were escorted to the visiting room and returned with news of home. Soon there was just Puck and Blaine left to go, and the prospect of being taken by one of the guards to meet a loved one was becoming less and less possible with every passing minute.

Yet, sometimes, the impossible just happens to pop up once in a while.

There are no words to describe the feeling of joy which sprung from Blaine's chest and washed through his body as a guard tapped him on the shoulder and escorted him to 'meet his visitor'.

Blaine's joy and excitement were soon replaced by curiosity and worry. 'Who the hell was coming to see him' and 'what the hell were they going to talk about'. Question one was answered as he entered the deeply depressing visitors room, full of circular tables with red plastic chairs, upon which sat awkward looking convicts and teary eyes visitors. And there, at a table at the end, staring at his lap and playing with his hands was his protector, comforter, best friend and now prison visitor, Cooper Anderson. Blaine moved awkwardly to the table, he could feel the guard's eyes fixed on him. He pulled out a chair across from Coop and sat down; Coop's eyes didn't leave his lap. They sat there for a moment, nobody said a word. Then, after a full, valuable minute of the fifteen he had for visiting, Coops raised his head. He seemed to be taking Blaine in, as if meeting him for the first time.

"… Nice jumpsuit." He said, giving Blaine a fraction of a smile.

"I know, brings out my eyes, huh?" Blaine joked, feeling the tension die down a little. "So… how's prison been treating you?"

"Oh, grand."

"You look well."

"I'm not…"

"I know." Coop sighed, playing with his hands again. The silence and tension returned, making Blaine uncomfortable.

"So… how's mom?" Blaine asked, not really wanting to know the answer.

"Bad… real bad…" Blaine's heart sank, it was the answer he's been expecting but it still felt like a blow to the stomach. "She's… she's hardly left her room, she just lays in bed and drinks and-"

"Drinks?" Blaine stared at him, unable to believe what he had just heard. His mother, his devote Christian mother who spent her life quoting the Bible and complaining about sinners and praying for gay people to be cured was drinking?

"Yeah… she's taking it really, really hard."

"What? Dad's dead, I'm in jail or I'm… you know."

"I don't think she's bothered about dad. She hated him, you know? She really, really hated him… she was trapped. I think it's more to do with… you and how… how the village is taking it."

"Has she said anything?"

"Yeah." Coop swallowed.

"Well… what?"

"I-I'd rather not-"

"Coop!"

Coop sighed, biting his bottom lip, "Fine… she said you're a faggot who'll burn in hell once he's done rotting in jail where he belongs."

"Well… that was tame."

They both smiled, laughing at the unfunniness of the situation.

"I miss you, Squirt." Admitted Coop.

"I miss you…" he swallowed, "… do you miss dad?"
Coop scoffed, "absolutely not. I… don't think what you did was the right thing but… well I'm not going to mourn him. I'm not happy you killed him, and I… well, I'm devastated you're in prison, but dad… he had what was coming to him."

"… I didn't think you'd come."

"When have I not been there for you?"

"Never, but… well… I'm a… I'm…"

"Gay?" Coop asked, amused. Blaine nodded.

"I knew, you know? I knew… I always knew…"

"H-how?"

"Whenever you brought a girl over I could tell. You may have thought she was cool but… you didn't want her. There was no chemistry. Most would look at you and think 'oh he's just being awkward' but I knew you better then that. And then… I saw the way you'd look at Ramon." Blaine stared at him, his heart hammering, "I could tell you were trying to hide your feelings, trying to push them down… I always knew."

Blaine sighed, looking down, "I'm… sorry…"

"Sorry?" Coop chuckled, "you don't have to be sorry. You're my brother and I'll always love you, no matter what you do."

"Doesn't it bother you, though?"

"Should it? Why should it bother anybody? Instead of liking girls you like boys. Instead of wanting to make babies you want to adopt them. What's the big deal?"

Blaine wanted to laugh with relief, "you… I…"

"So… did you and Ramon have fun?"

"Coop!"

What?"

"I'm not about to sit here and discuss that with you!"
"You discus everything else with me."

"Coop!"
"Fine." Coop laughed, shaking his head a little, "people have been saying things about you… around town. I've heard them. And when I do, I kick their asses."

Blaine blinked. Great, now Coop was going to earn himself a reputation as a Fag lover thanks to Blaine. "You really don't have to…"

"Nobody messes with the Anderson bros." he smiled, giving Blaine a wink.

Blaine smiled back, trying to swallow down the absurd urge to either burst out laughing or burst into tears.

A buzzer sounded, telling him his fifteen minutes were up. He felt a pang of grief, it'd be a whole month before he'd see Coop again… the only person who… who…

Blaine watched Coop being escorted out, giving him a little wave. Just as he was about to stand, he was pushed back to his seat.

"Hang on, buddy." Came the gruff voice behind him, "you got another visitor."

Another visitor? Blaine turned around and found a guard stood there, a crisp twenty sticking out his chest pocket. Before Blaine could ask who, the chair across from him pulled out. He turned to find none other then Ramon sitting across from him, wearing the expression of a scolded child being forced to apologise.

"… Blaine…" his accent had lost its seductive charm, "I, erm… I…"

"Why are you here?" Blaine asked, his eyes narrowed.

"To see you." Ramon looked down, swallowing. "I… I feel… awful."

"You feel awful? I'm in jail… I killed a man…"

"The fault… it is mine." Ramon swallowed again, "I… I knew about your family's views and… prejudice. But… I couldn't resist you." He sighed, drumming his fingers on the table, "you… god… I tried so hard to resist… but we were alone… I just had to try… to try…" he looked like he was in pain, like he was suffering from stomach pains, "I was selfish. I had seen the way you looked at me" God, thought Blaine, is there anyone in that house who hadn't? "And… I could tell. You wanted me, I wanted you… but I… I was selfish. If I had controlled myself… left you alone… your father wouldn't have…" he stopped. There was nothing else to say.

Blaine looked down too, his mind suddenly buzzing. That look in Ramon's eyes… that look of self hate, regret, guilt… so familiar and so unmistakable. It was the look he saw in Artie's eyes. Ramon blamed himself; he blamed himself that Blaine was in prison. It was true, if Ramon had never tempted Blaine in the way he couldn't resist his father never would have caught them, Blaine never would have been beaten to the point where he grabbed the knife… but he couldn't blame him. Blaine simply couldn't force himself to share any blame with Ramon. Blaine was the guilty one, Ramon was… unfortunate enough to be tangled up in his family's mess. It was bound to happen at some point; Blaine couldn't control his urges and desires forever. He looked up at Ramon, who seemed smaller and weaker from their last encounter, and said the only and truest words he could manage.

"… It's not your fault."

"… You are kind for saying so, but it-"

"No! It's not your fault and you blaming yourself is making it worse for me! I don't want anymore people to be hurt because of me… enough have!" Blaine was almost shouting, several tables had turned to look at him. Ramon looked like Blaine had just slapped him, and dropped his gaze once again.

"Very well… I accept your wishes…" Ramon nodded. "I have said what I needed to say…" he nodded again and stood up, "so long, Blaine Anderson." and left.

Blaine would never see him again.

Blaine was heading back when he passed the dining hall. The door was open and at first glance it seemed empty. But, as Blaine looked closer, he found that not to be the case. Sat alone, at his usual table, at his usual spot, was Puck. He was sat, shoulders hunched over, hands together, staring into space. Inspite of the fact he'd barely said two words to him, Blaine found himself walking over to him. He sat beside him, Puck barely acknowledged Blaine was there.

"… Puck?"

"Hmm?"

"… Where are the others?"

"The yard, waiting…"

"Why aren't you there?"

Puck didn't speak.

"… Puck?" Then, before his eyes, tears began to crawl down Puck's face.

"Sh-she… she's not coming… she's not coming…" Puck whispered, tears dripping onto the table.

"Who?"

"My mom…" Puck let out a tiny sob, his cheeks reddening and jaw quivering, "she… she always used to come… always… but… last time she came… we had a fight…" he swallowed hard, "she left early. I wanted to make up with her today… but… she's not here. She's not coming…" Then the real tears came. Puck hid his face in his hands, shoulders jumping as he hunched over, sobbing.

Blaine watched him, there seemed to be nothing he could say. He tried to imagine what Puck was going through, but he had never felt the warmth of a mother's love, so he couldn't imagine what having it ripped away felt like. Although he suspected it would be cold… dark… being lost.

"… Sh-she might come next time?" Blaine tried.

Puck didn't speak for a long time, but the sobs seemed to have stopped. Eventually, he did speak.

"… Who came for you?" Puck's voice was muffled by his hands.

"M-my brother came. My… my mom hates me."

Puck looked up, his cheeks and eyes red and tear soaked, "… what did you do?"

"… Something terrible…" Blaine couldn't bring himself to say it, "but she hates me and she's drinking herself to death thanks to me. I'm… sure your mother still loves you."

Puck scoffed, "Yeah right."

"I mean it. She's your mother, she won't stay mad forever."

"Will your mom stay mad forever?" Puck questioned.

"… Possibly… but what I did was unforgivable." This was only a half lie. It wasn't his crime his mother found unforgivable, but the reason she hated him apparently was.

Puck wiped his eyes, taking deep breaths. "… I was stupid, fighting with her…"

"Shh, it'll be okay. She just needs to cool off… she'll be here next time."

"You don't know that."

"Please? Look, if you lose hope in here, you'll go mad… just… she will come, okay?"

"Hrm…"

"Okay?"

"…"

"Okay?"

"Okay! Alright, fine, yes, she'll come, happy?" Puck sighed frustrated.

"Are you?" Blaine smiled a little.

"… Shut up." Puck heaved himself from his seat, "Going back to my cell. Laters, Anderson."

Blaine remained in his chair, thinking over their conversation.

If you lose hope in here, you'll go mad…

Maybe hope wasn't entirely lost for Blaine… Coop still loved him, after all. Maybe once he got out Coop would be there to welcome him home. Maybe he could stay with him? It'd be like a sitcom, two brothers, one a successful actor and the other an ex-convict, living together and having wacky adventures. Would Coop have found his big break in twelve years? Would he be making it big in Hollywood and forget Blaine existed…

No… no… Blaine was his brother. They'd been through too much for him to forget.

When I get out, Blaine thoughts, Cooper will be there. He'll invite me in and we'll live together. He'll help me get back on my feet.

It wasn't much, but it should be enough to keep him from going crazy from lost hope.

Authors note: Whatup. Next time, a tender moment with Kurt leaves Blaine fearful that his attempts to control his urges might be as futile as they were with Ramon. And an unfortunate encounter with a guard leaves Blaine in dept to the last person in the world he'd want to be in dept to…

Follow me on Tumblr for updates and some spoilers!

.com